Begins with Mistletoe

Remus and Tonks met in the square in front of number twelve Grimmauld Place. They each carried a knapsack in varying stages of shabbiness. Remus smiled at the young witch as she mouthed, 'Wotcher, Remus!' They waited for the door to appear between numbers eleven and thirteen.

It was late on Christmas Day. Everyone in the house was asleep, or so Sirius had said. Remus didn't doubt it, after the day they had had, going to visit Arthur earlier. The door appeared and they slipped inside. Remus deftly caught the umbrella stand before it could tip over when Tonks stumbled into it. 'Every bloody time,' she breathed softly, going down into the kitchen. Remus hid a smile, for she did indeed trip over it every single time. He followed her down to the kitchen, where Sirius waited with butterbeer.

Tonks had already put a large bar of Honeydukes' chocolate on the table, as well as a few extra bottles of butterbeer. Remus turned to close the door, and he pulled out his wand to set Silencing charms on the room. 'Allow me,' Tonks murmured. He watched in frank admiration at her spell work. Clumsiness aside, she really was quite bright and intelligent, not to mention one hell of an Auror. She had to be, for Mad-Eye to allow her to have such a direct hand in transporting Harry over the summer from Surrey and to the train.

Charms set; Tonks flopped into a chair across the table from Remus. She reached for a butterbeer, and pulled the cork out. 'Cheers,' she said with a hint of irony, saluting the two men.

Remus reached for the chocolate. 'Nym - Tonks... Is there something else I can call you?'

She shrugged. 'Dad calls me Dora. When I was younger, if he bothered to say Nymphadora, I knew he was angry. I'll answer to Dora.'

'Dora, then.' Remus eyed the bright pink hair. 'What do you really look like?' he asked curiously. Dora narrowed her eyes. 'As a Christmas gift,' Remus said smoothly.

'Not nearly as pretty as that one,' she said, nodding toward Sirius, who was watching his younger cousin and best friend avidly. 'Well, he was pretty, until he got so damn old,' she teased. But she let her eyes unfocus and in place of the bubblegum pink hair was a mass of light brown waves falling to her shoulders, contrasting with her dark blue eyes.

After several hours, warmed by chocolate and butterbeer, Remus and Tonks started to leave. 'I'll see you home, Dora,' Remus told her, his hand on her elbow.

'Wait!' Sirius said. They both turned to him, perplexed. 'Mistletoe,' Sirius announced, pointing to the top of the doorway.

Remus looked up in surprise. He meant to kiss Tonks on the cheek, but she turned her head to gift Sirius with a look, and his mouth landed on hers. The wolf lurking inside lifted his head, suddenly alert, ears pricked forward. With a finesse he didn't realize he possessed, Remus kissed Tonks. He slid one hand into her still-brown hair to cup the back of her head. She moaned softly against his lips and the vibrations sent him reeling. The other hand splayed against her lower back, pulling her against his body. The wolf howled.

The sound of breaking glass made Remus and Tonks spring apart from each other. They stared at each other, faces flushed. Remus' nose twitched. His hypersensitive sense of smell could detect her in the air. Tonks tore her gaze from Remus and looked into the kitchen. Sirius stood over a mess of broken glass and spilled butterbeer, open-mouthed. Tonks looked at the toes of her shoes. 'I'll just go on home, then. Good night.' She slipped up the stairs and out the door, without knocking over the umbrella stand.

Remus sighed and pulled out his wand to clear the mess. He licked his lips, tasting chocolate, butterbeer, and her. The wolf whined in disappointment, putting his head down with a dejected huff. Remus picked up one of the last butterbeers, and almost savagely yanked the cork from it. He saw Sirius still staring at him. 'Yes?'

'Give me a minute. Then I'll be in agony aunt mode.' Sirius sat down in his chair, slumped for a bit, ran his hands through his long hair, ruffling it, and sat up straight. 'All right, I'm ready.'

'For?' Remus started at Sirius blankly.

'You like her. It's obvious. You have my blessing, for what it's worth.'

'She's thirteen years younger than me.'

'So? Lots of those Muggle blokes marry women twenty or thirty years younger.'

'What about my furry little problem?'

'What about it?'

Remus sighed. 'Pads... There's a reason why I don't get involved with anybody.' He ticked them off on his fingers. 'Broke, no job prospects, thanks to anti-werewolf legislation, I'm a werewolf, I'm in the bloody Order, and so is she. It's not safe for any of us. And I'm just too old for her.'

Sirius snorted. 'Listen to Auntie Padfoot, Moony. Go for the girl. If she really likes you, the age won't be an issue. And if I remember Andie, she's pretty good at Potions, so you'll have a potential source for Wolfsbane. Tonks' job pays well, and you can always be Mr. Mum.'

Remus picked up the bottle in front of Sirius, sniffing it suspiciously. 'What the bloody hell are you drinking?'

'Butterbeer.' Sirius scowled. 'Listen, Moony, you're my best mate. I want you to be happy.'

'I am happy.' Remus took a long pull from his bottle.

'Like hell you are.'

******

Remus watched Tonks sleep in her bed at St. Mungo's. She was still unconscious. He crossed his arms over his chest. Another Order member would relieve him in the morning. She was so still and pale. So different from the vibrant young woman he normally saw.

He scrubbed a hand wearily over his face. The battle a few days ago had merely reinforced all those reasons he told Sirius why he couldn't go for the girl. Sirius... he thought with a pang. He wondered how Harry felt. One more person's death that Harry would carve into his conscience, even though it wasn't Harry's fault.

It wouldn't work with Tonks anyway. Dumbledore was going to send him on a mission to rendezvous with other werewolves soon and convince them to work with the Order. Remus felt it highly ironic that a group who prided itself on blood purity would actively recruit creatures they felt were inferior and would mercilessly subjugate if they won in the end.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

He just wanted it to be over.

******

Tonks dragged herself up the stairs to the small flat she had been staying in at Hogsmeade. She fell across the bed, thinking she could fall asleep there, without even taking her shoes off. So much had gone on the past few hours; she didn't think she was going to be able to process it all. She scowled at the door. Someone was knocking on it. Pounding, actually. She hauled herself off the bed, and shuffled to the door. Tonks yanked the door open, ready to ream out the idiot who forced her to get up in the first place.

Remus was ready to begin another barrage on the door, and pulled the blow before his fist smashed into Tonks' shocked face. 'Did you mean it?' he asked in his hoarse voice without preamble.

'What?'

'What you said in the hospital wing. About none of it mattering - the age difference, the werewolf issue.'

'Yes.'

Remus let his shoulders slump and exhaled the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. 'Oh. All right, then.' He turned to leave.

'Would you like to come in?' Tonks took a step back and gestured inside the flat. Remus nodded and walked inside and closed the door. Tonks went back to the bed and collapsed across it. 'So... Now what?'

Remus dragged a chair across the floor and slumped into it. 'I don't know. I've never done this before.'

Tonks lifted her head just enough to peer at him. 'Well, for starters, you could come closer. Maybe even sit by me.'

Remus let a small smile lift the corner of his mouth. He gingerly sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at Tonks. 'Better?'

She pulled him down, so he lay next to her. 'It is now.'

'What do we do next?'

Tonks brushed the graying sandy hair from his eyes. 'Maybe you could try kissing me.'

Remus' mouth went dry. 'I think I could do that.'

Hours - or was it minutes? - went by. The wolf whined with impatience. Remus lifted his head from where it rested on Tonks' stomach. 'I've not done this, either,' he said ruefully. 'I know what's supposed to happen...' he trailed off embarrassed, a blush tingeing his fair skin.

'I'll be gentle,' Tonks promised. Remus slid back up so his head rested on the pillow next to hers. She lightly traced the scars that scored his chest, watching his muscles shiver. 'Why haven't you...?'

'I didn't want to risk getting close to someone than having them take off when they found out about how I feel about walks in the moonlight,' he quipped lightly, lacing his fingers through hers. 'It seemed like a good idea at the time.'

Tonks inquisitive hand roamed over Remus' back. She trailed over an old and nearly faded, yet still distinct scar. Her eyes widened as she traced from his left shoulder down to his right hip. 'Do you remember getting that one?'

'Second year. It was the one that tipped off James and Sirius.'

'Looks like it was painful.'

'Just a bit.' Remus tucked a strand of Tonks' hair behind her ear. 'So what about you? Have you...?'

'A few times,' Tonks demurred.

'The first one?' Remus kissed a triad of freckles on her shoulder.

'You don't want to know...'

'Sure I do.'

Tonks sighed and squinted at Remus. 'You can't get all weird about it.'

Remus grinned. 'I'm not foolish enough to believe that you've never done this before. One virgin in this bed is quite enough, thank you.'

'Oh, all right.' Tonks scrunched her nose at him. 'Chrlwly,' she mumbled.

'Who?' Remus propped himself up on an elbow. 'I didn't quite get that, Dora.'

Tonks rolled over, so her face was buried in the pillow. She peeped at Remus. 'Charlie. Weasley,' she said softly.

'Really? Do tell.' Remus was highly amused.

'You're joking...'

'Nope. I want to see if I need to thank him next time I see him.'

'Nothing to tell. North Tower at the end of sixth year, before he left school and went to Romania. First time for both of us. It wasn't worth writing home about.' Tonks laughed.

'I hope this time is better.'

******

Remus pressed his forehead to Tonks'. 'Oh,' he whispered. The wolf howled in triumph. He grinned lazily. 'Ahroooo,' he howled softly. Tonks stared at him in amazement before she started to laugh.

******

Remus stretched and pushed Tonks' tumbled hair from her face. 'Marry me.' Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. Remus hurried on. 'I know it won't be easy, and that most "polite" wizarding society will look down on you and pretend I don't exist, and I have no prospects whatsoever, and you'll be the main breadwinner in the family, and the lycanthropy will be a problem, and God, I don't even know if it gets passed on to children in anyway -.' He only stopped babbling when Tonks' hand landed on his mouth.

'Are you sure you want to do this? I mean with everything that's going on?'

Remus removed her hand from his mouth. 'It's not the wisest decision to make right now.' He shrugged. 'But I want to.'

Tonks bit her lip. Over the last three weeks she hadn't let herself think about anything like that. She didn't think he felt that way. 'After only three weeks?'

'The last year,' Remus corrected softly.

Tonks sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest. 'A year?' she repeated weakly. Remus nodded solemnly. She slid out of bed and pulled her baggy Weird Sisters t-shirt on. Tonks went to sit on the windowsill, leaving Remus lying in the bed, wondering if he'd said something wrong.

She leaned her head against the glass, weighing their options. It was going to be a rough ride for the foreseeable future. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to say yes so very badly. She knew from watching her parents' marriage that it wasn't the easiest thing to do in the best of times, much less than with a war raging around them. A war that wanted nothing more to do than rip Remus to shreds. And Remus. Her parents, for as liberal as they could be, would go spare if she married a werewolf. She looked across the room at Remus, sitting up anxiously, his arms around a pillow.

Tonks took a deep breath, and closed her eyes, briefly.

'Yes.'

******

Remus sniffed the air over Tonks' shoulder. It was faint, like the scent of her soap, but the last time he had smelled this particular scent was when... He closed his eyes. The last time had been a week or so before Harry had been born and when Lily was in the room, he could smell it, heavy and thick in the air. Remus couldn't figure out why Sirius or James couldn't smell it.

Remus tilted his head back to Tonks' bare shoulder. He slowly inhaled. It was there, just barely. He could almost taste it in the back of his throat more than he could smell it. He slowly sat up, and gave her sleeping form a long, careful look. The signs had been there, but he, like everyone else, had just attributed it to the stress of the past few months.

The sun rose and a stray ray of light inched its way across the floor and the light glinted off the slender band of his wedding ring, still an unfamiliar weight on his left hand. He used his thumb to rotate the ring around his finger, nervously. They were going to pick up Harry that evening from the Dursleys.

She didn't know.

Remus liked to think if she had known, she wouldn't have volunteered for this dangerous mission. But in reality, he knew she was an Auror and a dedicated member of the Order. Knowing would make her even more determined to do it. As if she didn't have enough reasons to fight with more determination than he'd seen in anybody.

He found himself wishing, not for the first time, since their wedding last week that James was still alive. James would understand the choking, all-consuming fear that coursed through his veins with all the chill of ice water.

His presence was putting everyone in Tonks' family in danger. Remus slowly eased from the bed, and began to quietly pace the room. Maybe asking her to marry him was a mistake. He could see the misgivings in her face when he had proposed. Remus would have said he was drunk, but he had in fact, been stone-cold sober. Tonks made him happy. Happier than he had been since James died. But this was not a situation either of them needed to be in.

And now to add a child to it.

'What were we thinking?' he whispered, his wide grey eyes fixed on his sleeping wife.

******

Something woke Remus. His head turned to look for Tonks', but she wasn't in their bed. Remus sat up, eyes raking the room. The cradle next to the bed was empty. 'Oh, no...' he breathed. He vaulted out of bed, and pulled an old and battered t-shirt over his head, hiding the scars over his torso, thrusting his hand under his pillow for his wand.

He crept to the door. It was standing ajar, and he peered cautiously around the edge. Then the music started. It was one of Ted's old Beatles albums. Remus cocked his head to the side. Andromeda wouldn't play them anymore, preferring to keep them hidden in case anyone from the Ministry were to hear them listening to Muggle music.

Remus padded down the stairs and stood in the doorway to the sitting room. Tonks sat in the middle of the floor, surrounded by a welter of Ted's old albums, Teddy in her arms. He walked into the room, and crouched behind her. 'Dora, what are you doing?'

'I want him to get to know Dad,' she said softly. 'Dad loved this kind of music. I grew up listening to it, too.'

'You scared me,' he said, resting his head against her shoulder.

'Sorry,' she said.

Remus pulled Tonks to her feet. She looked at him questioningly, but he just wrapped his arms around her, so Teddy nestled between the two of them. He began to sway gently to the music enveloping them. 'When this is over,' he whispered into her hair. 'We'll have a proper celebration. For our marriage.'

'I don't need that,' she replied, letting her head fall to his shoulder.

'But we didn't get to have one, what with everything going on.'

'When it's over, I just want to be left alone with you and Teddy.'

Neither of them heard the soft click behind them.

******

Teddy opened his brand-new school trunk to look for a set of pajamas. It had been a long day, and he was worn out. He raised an eyebrow at the brightly wrapped parcel sitting on top of his clothing. He picked it up, and sat on the edge of his bed. He didn't remember it being in his trunk last night. His grandmother must have put it in there this morning.

Teddy slowly ripped the paper off and a framed photograph lay in his hands. He had never seen this one before.

His mum and dad slowly swayed around his grandmother's sitting room. Teddy could see himself as a baby between them, his hair a vibrant shade of turquoise.

Teddy gently put the photograph on the night table next to the bed.