Ordinary World - Nemesis: "My wish is to remember"

Chapter 1 "Amnesia"

But where? I've got no home, I'm alone, I've lost my mind and from Frank's stories I can tell that somebody wants to kill me. I turned away and waited. Waited patiently. Until it all will come back to me - memory, feelings, me-myself. No, it's meaningless! I don't even know, what was that accident about, how was it... Exactly! The accident! I looked at Frank, who was still reading the newspaper; he didn't seem to notice that I just said nothing. As if he didn't notice my present. I half-closed my eyes and put my teacup on a pot.

"What was that accident about? How did it happen ?" I growled grudgingly. Incredible, how much changed in the tone of my voice: from scared and confused into icy and despaired. The Auror looked at me thoughtfully above the newspaper.

"A strange accident," he answered. "You've been tortured."

"But why?" I didn't stop. I clenched my right hand in fist my knuckles went white. I amazed myself - from a dull, withdrawn sheep I was turning into an aggressive, wild canine. Why? My ego has been coming back?

"Severus, you're the same as before," sighed Frank grimly.

"Tell me about that accident!"

"Honestly, I don't know what it was all about, I'd only found you. Only the person who attacked you knows the tale."

What a sarcastic tone, really!

"Have you got any idea on that?" What was happening to me? Dryness in my voice, being angry... A devil in my mind smiled wryly and said: "That's just the job - like that!" My memory comes back to me! Very fast, though

"Voldemort, rather one of his faithful followers - Death Eaters. Voldemort is a Dark Lord, people's fright, and Death Eaters are his servants..."

I can remember him. Very well.

"You turned away from Voldemort under unknown for me circumstances." Frank wore on and my eyes widened onto this point, that it has been hurting me. "You were his follower, you killed, thieved and lied. Sex, drugs, alcohol, blood, pain, frustration, hatred and no guilt. Full description of a normal Death Eater. Slytherins became them because of revenge they could get on those muggles, those who laughed at them and on muggle-lover Albus Dumbledore, who is running Hogwarts."

Yes. That's his point of view - said a tiny voice in my head. It's for pleasures which are connected with going under Voldemort's wings. I smiled weakly to myself. But Frank, as always, hadn't noticed that at all.

"Dumbledore told me that you left Him, because you were feeling guilty and, by the way, you inquired about something terrifying. He didn't dare to tell me this... umm, let's call it a secret."

Good point! Secret, that is! And now he believes, that I'll tell him a secret? Don't say a single word!

"Will you tell me, when you'll recall it, child?"

Boy with a pale expression... Mind's domination. The creatures understand more than average people. This kid is a dark creature, who can smell another dark creature... These thoughts aren't making sense. I shook my head, as if it could help me to resist them. It all comes back to me... Frightening. I'm afraid because it flies away immediately, but I remember most. Those thoughts are like a dream - they have no beginning and no end.

"Yes." I heard my own voice. Frank smiled at me. I didn't like it at all. How annoying! As usual...

I went to the bathroom after dinner. I wanted to take a warm shower. It always calms me down. I remembered Voldemort - his high-pitched voice, transformations, curses, black magic, which Death Eaters were taught. Only the chosen however were taught something more... What was that? Without looking at the mirror I put my clothes off and walked slowly into the shower cabin. After a while a pleasantly warm stream of water belched onto my body. I like it so much! It's so perfect. I touched my Dark Mark gently and suddenly a strange vision came into my view: a Death Eater in glistening black armour with wings and wearing a pendant. Pendant like a chain plus a jewel stone. The same stone I've already got off... I grasped at my clothes and reached for my pendant.

"Pretty," I whispered into the emptiness of the bathroom and hung it on my neck. I closed my eyes. Weird... Ain't that?

"Crucio."

Pain.

"These, who will try to defy me..."

Cry. Child. Innocence is always doomed.

"... will be condemned..."

Cry. Screaming. Begging for mercy.

I try to open my eyes, but abruptly the vision becomes clearer and clearer. I tighten my eyelids and that hurts me.

Warm water which leaves small drops on my body. Blood.

"... for eternity."

A tall peron - a man - comes out of the shadows. He has a mask. He grasps a wand, which ending blazes with crimson and orange. A curse.

"You betrayed. Why?"

"Who are you?" My voice is trembling. Hope he doesn't hear that... Suddenly the vision is fully cleared, I can see the dark district like I had a camera in my eyes.

"You know who I am perfectly, dear Sevvie... Dear betrayer."

I pull out my wand. The end of your sentiments, bastard. Let's play.

"Put that mask off your face, coward!" I shout.

The man doesn't even hesitate a moment. He pulls off the Death Eater mask...

Vision's been cut.

Water is cold now. My tears are burning my cheeks.

What about the pendant stone? It's shining. It's lightgreen and it's got a glare - makes you blind for a moment. I take it off and hold it for a while in my pale hand. I feel anger. Pure anger. I want to know more! I close my eyes again.

Run!

And at this my left forearm is filled with pain. Dark Mark. He wants to get rid of me. That accident, it had been a bad try. Though, he hadn't succeeded yet.

"I won't let him do this to me," I said aloud with determination.

"I won't let him do this too," murmured someone in happy voice. Very happy voice, indeed. I know that voice, but who is it?

Oh, God...

"Hi Severus! Can you, well, dress? I really am not a gay, so I don't want to see you... hmm... naked..."

My eyes widened in horror, I was standing for a moment in a cabin, then slowly took a towel. I wasn't quite sure about this voice. I opened the shifting door and placed my feet on fluffy bathroom carpet. In front of me a brunette with big gray eyes has been smiling gently. How did he get there? Frank let him in?

"Severus, what's wrong?" he asked anxiously.

"Who are you?" I didn't like it.

He moved back, slightly aware of the angry note in my voice.

"Hey, pal, what's up with you? Stop kidding!"

"Who are you and how did you get here?" I snapped.

"OK, Sev, it's not funny! By the way, Frank wouldn't let me in, so I apparated. Don't shout, right? Now tell me, why are you acting like 'I've lost my mind'?"

"Because I've lost my mind," I replied softly.

The man, as I'd noticed, was about my age (so thirty-six), with a fragile appearance. He looked at my Dark Mark.

"Sev, mate, what happened?"

"Who are you?"

"Nicholas Avery."