The Other Side

Why blame you me to love you? - William Shakespeare, in As You Like It (v. 2. 96).

Dolores Umbridge pulled her pink cardigan on in low spirits. She shuffled into the Great Hall, snapping at two Ravenclaw boys who were whispering innocently. When she reached the table, she sat down and sighed. She looked longingly down to the end of the table.

There, all in black and looking bittersweet, was her one true love.

Severus Snape was conversing quietly with Professor Sprout. His black hair was shiny (A/N: ...with tons of grease) and his eyes were true and sparkling blue. When he looked fleetingly up at her, she smiled sweetly, making her look like she was a toad who had just tasted honey. Severus raised an eyebrow before turning back to Sprout, that accursed woman.

Dolores moved the bacon on her plate around with her fork, forming it to make a smiling face. She looked at it and, to her horror, started seeing his eyes in those eyes. Quickly, she picked up a piece and ate it.

Dolores thought about him day in and day out, day after day, night after night. She thought about him while teaching and while sleeping. While eating and while drinking. While breathing and while blinking. While everyone else in the castle lay sound asleep in their beds, still she thought of him.

Why must such love go unrequited?

How could such feelings of desire be turned down?

Only once in her entire life had she felt this way before - and that had been yesterday, at breakfast, staring at him, just as she was now.

Love was a funny thing, she thought, absently drinking her pumpkin juice. It was like someone had jumped on you and smothered your heart with happiness. It made you feel as if yo were going to die from it, while at the same time knowing that this love itself could never die. It was like seeing one person, and wanting them to be with you forever, and wanting to hold them and never, ever let go...

So she felt for Severus.

And so he felt for no woman.

Perhaps this was to be punishment for setting dementors on Potter. She probably did deserve punishment for that. She understood now that it was a horrible thing. But that didn't stop her from putting up a snobbish façade. If she let her weakness show, they might think she was lovable... and then he might guess... and if he guessed, if Severus ever knew, she might have to stab herself.

If this was a penalty, it was cruel and unusual punishment, though at the same time wonderful and exceptional.

Maybe it would be better if she just died. No one loved her anyway... she would not be missed, would she? Of course not. No one loved Dolores Jane Umbridge.

Not even herself.

But if she died, she could never tell Severus how she felt. Perhaps she could write it in a note and leave it by her body.

That was definitely something to look into.

But what would the Ministry do without her? What would young Percy Weasley do without his mentor? He might turn back to Dumbledore's side... no, that could not happen. She must fight.

With her only love on the other side.

A/N: Well... yea. The not very obscure Shakespeare reference was:

So she felt for Severus.

And so he felt for no woman.

It's from As You like It, which is a wonderful play... its somewhere near the end of act 5, scene 2. I just had to put it in there... it's when there's the whole Silvius/Phebe/Ganymede/Orlando/Rosalind triangle - er, pentagon. Yeah. I kind of pictured Snape and Umbridge as Silvius and Phebe, but... genders reversed. Yeah.

For those unfortunate souls who have no idea what I'm talking about, just review. That goes for those who did know what I was talking about, too.

This fic was brought to you by too many hours reading Shakespeare and eating chocolate chip waffles.

Unfortunately, no characters were harmed in the making of this fic.