Harry Potter and the Wizard Of Oz

Harry got up the next morning and glanced at the clock. He gasped.

"Nine o'clock!" he exclaimed. He hurried to get dressed and went down to the common room in a hurry.

"See you've decided to join us," Hermione said, looking up from her book.

"Humph..." Harry grumbled. "And I still don't know what I'm going to sing." Ron laughed at him silently.

"Why not Over the Rainbow?" Hermione suggested, turning the page of her book. "That's what I'm singing."

"I'm not trying out for Dorothy," Harry said, disgruntled.

"Then, how about... ah... If I Only Had a Heart?" Hermione suggested.

"When a man's an empty kettle..." Harry sang softly.

"NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron cried. "Don't sing!!! Please... I beg you..."

"He should be on his mettle," Hermione chimed in.

"And yet I'm torn apart..."

"No!!!! Stop! PLEASE!!!" Ron begged.

"Fine," Harry said. "Come on, Hermione, let's go. See you, Ron."

"And good riddance!" Ron said. "Oh, my delicate eardrums..."

Harry rolled his eyes as he and Hermione left. "You know, Hermione... I'm nervous. I've never..."

"Oh, come on, Harry," Hermione assured. "You're good. Besides, everyone gets a part."

"But still... what if I make a fool of myself?"

"You won't make a fool of yourself," Hermione told him. "You'll do great. Trust me."

"Whatever. I'll be fine, I guess, as long as - oh no, no, NO!" Harry said as they entered the Great Hall. Malfoy sat alone at the Slytherin table, not looking the least bit dazed that he was the only Slytherin there. "As long as Malfoy isn't here!" Harry groaned. "Now what am I going to do? I have to dance in front of Malfoy! Fate is so cruel."

"Come on, Harry, just don't pay any attention to him," Hermione muttered. They sat at the Gryffindor table next to Seamus and Ginny. They were about to start talking when Professor Flitwick stood up on the Head table.

"Hear, hear, now, listen up!" he said as loud as he could. "I want three of you up here at a time to read some lines. Now, ah, Mr. Malfoy, Miss Granger, and Mr. Potter, you're first."

All three of them were disappointed as they got up and stood on the impromptu stage. "Now, take these," Professor Flitwick said, handing them each a sheet of paper. "Miss Granger, you read Dorothy, Mr. Potter, you read Tin Man, and Mr. Malfoy, you read Scarecrow. Begin!"

"Why, it's a man!" Hermione exclaimed. "A man made out of tin!"

"Mmm-mmm!" Harry mumbled.

"Why, he said something!" Hermione said.

"He said oil can!" Malfoy said enthusiastically.

"Oil can what? Oh!" Hermione picked up an imaginary oil can. "Where would you like to be oiled first?"

"Mmm-mm!" Harry mumbled.

"He said his mouth," Malfoy said. Hermione poured imaginary oil into Harry's mouth.

"Mmm - My, my it feels good to talk again! Oil my arms, oil my elbows..."

"Oh! Does that hurt you?"

"No, no it feels wonderful, I've held that axe up for ages..."

"How did you ever get like this?" Hermione exclaimed.

"Well, about a year ago," Harry began, "I was chopping down that tree, when it started to rain. I rusted solid. I've been that way ever since."

"Well, you're perfect now!"

"Very good, very good!" Professor Flitwick said. "Now, for your dance, I will teach you a simple routine - are you watching, everyone? Good... now, you go heel, cross toe, heel, together, heel, cross toe, heel, together. Grapevine down like this... shuffle, shuffle, bow!" Professor Flitwick said as he finished. Hermione started first.

"Heel, cross toe, heel... ouch!" Hermione rubbed her toe. "Together, heel, cross toe, heel... ow... together, grapevine... shuffle, shuffle, bow," she said, guiding herself through it. She rubbed her toe.

"Mr. Potter?"

Harry took a deep breath and started to dance. To his surprise, he was rather good. When he bowed, Professor Flitwick clapped. "Oh, bravo, bravo! Mr. Malfoy?" Harry and Hermione watched bemusedly as Malfoy grinned and started to tap.

Harry was awed. Malfoy was good. As he finished, Professor Flitwick smiled. "Wonderful, well done! Miss Granger, do you have something to sing for us?"

Hermione took a deep breath and started to sing. "Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreamed that you dare to dream really do come true. Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me. Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, why, then, oh why can't I?"

Harry gave Hermione a thumbs-up, and she smiled. "Mr. Potter?" Flitwick said. Harry heaved.

"When a man's an empty kettle, he should be on his mettle, and yet I'm torn apart. Just because I'm presuming that I could be kind-a-human, if I only had heart. I'd be tender - I'd be gentle and awful sentimental, regarding love and art. I'd be friends with the sparrows ... and the boys who shoots the arrows if I only had a heart. Picture me - a balcony. Above a voice sings low. Wherefore art thou, Romeo? I hear a beat.... How sweet. Just to register emotion, jealousy - devotion, and really feel the part. I could stay young and chipper and I'd lock it with a zipper, if I only had a heart."

"Very nice, Mr. Potter... and Mr. Malfoy?"

Malfoy glared at Harry and sang, "I could while away the hours, conferring with the flowers, consulting with the rain. And my head I'd be scratching while my thoughts were busy hatching if I only had a brain. I'd unravel every riddle for any individ'le in trouble or in pain. With the thoughts I'd be thinking I could be another Lincoln if I only had a brain. Oh, I could tell you why the ocean's near the shore. I could think of things I'd never thunk before. And then I'd sit, and think some more. I would not be just a nothing, my head all-full of stuffing, my heart all-full of pain. I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry if I only had a brain!"

"Bravo, Mr. Malfoy, bravo!" Flitwick squeaked. "Very well... the three of you are dismissed."

"Nice, Malfoy," Harry said as they left the Great Hall. "I always knew you needed a brain, but I never knew you were so enthusiastic."

"Potter, I think you'd be better as the Scarecrow - you wouldn't have to pretend you didn't have a brain," Malfoy drawled. "I've wasted enough of my life hanging around you lot already." Malfoy walked off towards the dungeons.

"With total seriousness, Harry," Hermione whispered, "he's really, really good!"

"Yea," Harry mumbled. "That's what's worrying me. If he's Scarecrow and I'm a Munchkin or something, he'll never let me live it down."