Dreams and Desires

Dreams and Desires

Chapter 3

Hiding Desires

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Grace went through her Monday classes impatiently. She was excited but a bit scared. What if she lost sense and followed any of her actions from her dreams? Grace knew how affected she was by her vivid dream, and she worried she would say or do something absolutely stupid. She could just imagine her humiliation at the look of horror on her professor's face. That would just be a real kick, wouldn't it? the thought dripping with sarcasm. Merlin, help me to control myself.

At dinner, she tried to concentrate on her food, but frequently her eyes wandered up to the staff table. To her embarrassment, she found the pair of eyes she searched for looking straight back at her. Sirius--Oi!--Professor Black and Dumbledore appeared to be talking about her. Hmm...and he seems to be quite invested in the conversation, or is it just my impossible imagination at work again? She pretended to listen to Harry's news from the Ministry (which he got from his girlfriend and Grace's best friend, Violet, so she already knew it all) while feeling someone's gaze on her, a very particular someone.

At precisely 7 o'clock, Grace walked up to the door slowly, breathing hard. Her heart beat like a rabbit's as she ran her fingers over the gold letters of his name. How could I dream of the door so accurately if I have rarely been by his office? I best just go in before he comes out and finds me gaping like an idiot at a door. She knocked and sucked in a deep breath as if she were about to dive into the ocean's depths with little hope of survival.

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Sirius opened the door and asked her politely inside his private office. The room was cluttered, but comfortable with many interesting magical knick-knacks for defense, several pictures in frames from the marauder days, and one of he and Harry from just last year. She seemed pleased by the atmosphere, but there was some underlying emotion beneath her calm which felt frighteningly similar to his own hidden anxiety. However, he was positive that her nerves were of a completely different sort than his. They made polite conversation for some time, merely acquainting each other with little things they secretly longed to know. Merlin, she's gorgeous, he thought repeatedly. She wore dark-wash jeans that flattered her long, slim legs, a pearl-colored knit top that draped in all the right places, and an amethyst velvet jacket with flower embroidery and a rhinestone button. Her hair was shining and straight as usual, and with her big doe eyes she gave Sirius the impression of a graceful deer. Soft and lovely, oh how he wished he could take her into his arms.

He was looking at her so strangely. Oh dear, am I revealing my feelings? Grace wondered. At the moment, she knew her mind was absorbing every detail of him. His unkempt hair that somehow managed to look perfect, his lean torso under his black button down shirt, the first few buttons opened to insinuate his muscled chest, his heavenly masculine scent, and most noticeably his silver eyes that pulled her in like Dumbledore's Pensive. She decided to direct the conversation to the main point, in order to keep her observations from getting out of hand.

"Professor, what exactly did you want to meet me for today? I mean, don't get me wrong, I am enjoying our conversation immensely, but--"

"Ah, yes of course. First of all, if you wouldn't mind, I would like you to call me Sirius outside of class. It's only been a few years, and I'm not used to being an authority figure just yet." He winked at her. Dear goodness, that's sexy! She sheepishly blushed.

Then a solemn, focused curtain fell over his face as he told her, "Miss Wentworth, I have asked you here today because I see a creative drive in you that this school needs in the midst of the rebuilding of wizarding world. Music lifts the spirit with a magic that no wand can create. I honestly believe that you, Grace, are the key to releasing that priceless magic throughout Hogwarts. These students and teachers still need healing and restoration. Shall we help them, Grace?"

All she could manage was a wide-eyed nod. She was speechless, no person had ever spoken to her with such utter faith and honesty. Not to mention the tingle that ran down her spine when he said her name in that intoxicating voice of his.

"Good! Dumbledore agrees with me as well." His face shone, "If you would be so kind as to follow me, Miss Wentworth. I have something to show you." She nearly melted when he held out his hand for hers. Such a gentleman, and yet it was impossible to miss the mischief in his smile.

He led her silently through the hallway, up a complicated set of stairs, and into a seemingly unimportant unused classroom. Upon their arrival, Sirius quickly dropped her hand. He hoped that she hadn't noticed how long he had held it, his fingers still savoring her gentle touch. He walked up to a beautiful painting of floating faeries clothed in ivory muslin playing angelic lyres. At the sight of Sirius, they twittered and flew around in excited circles. "Tranquility" he said clearly, and the painting opened. It was a secret door. He looked back at her with a look that said do you trust me? And then Sirius opened the door and led her inside as he lit the lamps with his wand.

Her astonished face, soft mouth hanging open, was worth whatever risk he was taking (he placated his fears with the reminder of Dumbledore's approval of the idea). It was a music room. Hogwarts had received a few students in its centuries that showed a deep desire for the practice of music, and Dumbledore ordered the creation of the room long ago. It was open and airy with a large window on the left. Shelves were filled with music books (some of which contained spells specifically designed for musicians, he would teach her those in time), music scores, and abandoned instruments. But nothing else in the simple room could compare to the beautiful grand piano. Grace had never seen anything like it, or so her face showed. The outside of the piano was constructed of light teal marble, and the keys looked slightly faded but were perfectly in tune. Sirius had made sure of that.

"Prof--Sirius," Oh how good it felt to say his name out loud, "what is this place?"

"Do you like it? This is a private place for you to practice, sing, write, play, create or whatever else you feel like doing. Throughout Hogwarts history there have been a few students allowed use of the room, but when I brought it up with Dumbledore at dinner he thought you a brilliant candidate for the privilege." She was still only staring; it made Sirius worry if she liked the idea or the room. What was she thinking about? If only he had some of Snape's mind reading powers for these occasions. Not like he had been in this situation, caring for a woman, for quite some time. Perhaps he should open up, then maybe she would as well. He decided he would chance it.

"I've only admitted this to a few people, but the last student with full access to this room...was me." She looked up at him curiously. "Although I could be quite the egotistical, troublesome prat back in my days of being a student here, I always loved the peace music brought me. Just like Remus had his little secret of being a werewolf, so I had mine. The marauders and Dumbledore knew, but no one else. That is how I dealt with my family of pure-blooded proud snobs and death eaters. I placed the same sound-proof charm on the attic piano room at home as I have here on this room. I would just play until I couldn't hear my mother shouting curses anymore...." He stopped, realizing how much he had said. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have dumped all that on you. This was meant to be a joyful occasion for you. So, what do you think?"

She seemed to find her words all at once. "Sirius, I--I don't know what to say. It's beautiful, it's bloody brilliant, it's excellent! You're excellent. You don't know how often I have to sneak off to the other side of the lake to sing just to keep from bothering anyone, and now I can just come and sing and play and I just--Oh!" Her ecstatic rambling reached its verbal height and suddenly she embraced Sirius with a squeal of joy. Flabbergasted, all he could do was hopelessly hold on to her forbidden form until she regained her senses. He breathed deeply of her sweet fragrance, like a bouquet of lilies and roses.

After the initial shock of the physical contact, the embrace relaxed into something more tender. Surprisingly, she did not pull away though it was clear she knew what she was doing. Sirius did not understand why this was happening, but he wasn't going to fight it for the moment. He cherished the very feel and warmth of her, she was just as soft as she looked. His entire world flipped from darkness to light in that one moment and wrapped itself around this woman. Peace and love swam over him like a powerful waterfall. He held her tight for some period of time--five minutes or an hour, he didn't know, he didn't care.

At last his passion could be withheld no longer, he pulled back only slightly, still in a daze. Slowly he lowered his face towards hers, flickering his silver eyes at hers with desperation, asking permission from their depths. Parted lips only a centimeter away from the others, they equally closed the distance in the perfect kiss. Like tasting the forbidden fruit from the Garden of Eden, he took hold of the sin, let it sink into his chest as he deepened the kiss, all consequences forgotten for this precious moment.