Save Me

How can you see into my eyes like open doors.

Leading you down into my core

Where I've become so numb

Without a soul. My spirit sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home.

I miss Tom. Why did I toss away the diary? Maybe because things were becoming too strange around here? Maybe because you started questioning his friendship? Maybe because you like feeling miserable so you throw away the only friend you have? Or you could just be going nutters. Talking to yourself isn't a good sign.

Hogwarts wasn't as I imagined. This place is supposed to be fun. My brothers all love it here. Percy is trying to be the best perfect he can be. Fred and George are popular, brilliant Quidditch players, and are the jokers of Hogwarts. Ron, the one I used to be closest to, is best friends with the smartest girl in school and the famous, sweetest, cutest boy- the one and only Harry Potter. If only he'd notice me!

Ginny sighed. No one notices me. I'm just the youngest Weasley or the girl Weasley. Yeah, I'm smart and get good marks. That is probably the only reason why no one notices the way I've been acting lately. That and the fact I've been quiet. I never used to be, but then no one knows me well enough except my brothers and they're too busy to care. As long as my grades are good, I'll be ignored.

Except by Tom. He always knows just what to say to make me feel better. The diary seems to be a gift from the Gods, giving me my best friend just when I need him most. Just imagine how lonely it'd be without him. Oh, wait, I don't have to.

Why did I give up the diary again? Yeah, the odd things. This school is rumored to be exciting, but it's been downright scary lately. It hasn't felt right since November. About the time when Colin got petrified. I wish I'd gotten to know him better. He was funny, friendly, and just as obsessed with Harry as I am even if he's Muggleborn.

I really could see us becoming friends unlike the other Gryffindor girls. What a silly, stuck up group of hens they are. They are always gossiping and teasing me since I got here. Yeah, I fancied Harry. Who wouldn't? He's brave, cute, and my brother's best friend.

Got over him too, didn't you Gin? It was easy once things became so confusing around here. School distracted me, and then I just felt so tired. The nightmares that started to haunt me didn't help.

But I could deal, did deal. My marks were one of the highest in my year. Tom helped me learn my spells and listened to me. He cared when no one else did.

So why get rid of him? Why, maybe because he seems too good to be true. However did I deserve a friend as good as him? No, something had to be wrong. When I woke up with feathers in my bed, I had to do something. Either I'm nutters or something is controlling me. In a scary way, I'd rather be controlled than mad. At least then it wouldn't be my fault, my responsibility.

I threw Tom, the diary, down the toilet in Myrtle's bathroom. No one likes to go in there. See, I just couldn't bring myself to harm Tom. He'd been there for me thru my emotional summer and the stressful parts of school. Listening to me, helping me, advising me, my best friend. Without him, I'd have been alone. Without me he'd have no way of communicating with the world. Trapped as he was in the diary.

I couldn't kill him. Leave him, yes. Kill him, no.

But I still miss Tom.

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside.

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside.

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark.

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run.

(I can't wake up)

Before I come undone

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I've become.

Throughout the day dozens of surly-looking dwarfs wearing wings on their backs and carrying harps and cards kept barging into classes to deliver valentines, much to the annoyance of the teachers. You see, today was Valentine's Day. Professor Lockhart arranged for all the decorations and the dwarfs in celebration of this holiday. To spread good cheer and all that rot, it seems.

I wasn't having a marvelous time either. Sure, I sent a card to Professor Lockhart, but that was a certainty. He is such an egomaniac. My marks wouldn't hurt if the teacher favored me some. Err, that's right, that's why I gave that prat a valentine.

Now, there are one or two boys I wouldn't mind sending a card to. No, not my brothers. Mom would approve that, but they'd just tease me more. The two boys I'm talking about are very similar and very different from each other. Both of them wouldn't appreciate a valentine. Who are the lucky guys?

Well, one is thickheaded yet sweet...the famous Harry. It's not like he notices me, but I still admire him more than any other boy in the school. The only exception to that is the other boy. But we're not speaking, are we? Actually, it's more like not writing to each other anymore. I'd like to send a valentine to Tom. He'd been a good friend to me when I had none.

Nothing has happened around here lately except for Hermoine transforming half of herself into a cat. I still giggle over that comment I heard Harry and Ron loudly talking about in the common room. Maybe, I should get Tom back. He must be lonely and I do miss him. Still, it could mean that the diary somehow was the cause to all these attacks. I just don't know.

"Oy, you! 'Arry Potter!" One of those annoying dwarfs must be around. Oh, this looks bad. But hey, what late afternoon right before class is complete without a grim dwarf pushing its way through the crowd like a bludger heading for its target? At least Harry is trying to make a run of it. I wonder who sent this valentine?

From my place in line with the other first years, I watched the dwarf gain ground. A red-faced Harry only made two paces trying to escape. The dwarf certainly was determined and kicked many a shin in reaching him.

"I've got a musical message to deliver to 'Arry Potter in person," he said, twanging his harp in a threatening way.

I watched wide-eyed as Harry struggled and could barely make out what he hissed at the dwarf. Never before had she heard that tone come from him.

"Stay still!" The dwarf grunted, took a good hold of Harry's bag, and pulled.

"Let me go!" Harry snarled, still trying desperately to get away. He reminded me of a trapped animal trying not to get caught. Back home Scabbers sometimes acted like that when Mum chased him after he stole a bit of cheese from the table.

The other students were laughing at the show. A giggle escaped me. You didn't often see a hero brought to humility right before you. A loud ripping sound reached over the crowd's laughter as Harry's bag split in two. Its contents spilled onto the floor. His ink bottle broke, spilling ink over everything. Harry still tries to get away, but the dwarf springs upon him, hugging Harry's knees. He crashed and the dwarf sits on his ankles. His prey is caught.

Right, Here is your singing valentine! ...

His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,

His hair is as dark as a blackboard.

I wish he was mine, he's really divine,

The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.

Wait a moment! That is Fred and George's poem. They gave it to me as a joke right before Christmas because they knew that I fancy Harry and they wanted to cheer me up. It was one of the few times they gave me something that made me laugh, instead of scaring the wits out of me. How dare they use that as a joke on Harry! They even helped me draw funny pictures on that parchment.

Looking around, I notice that I'm one of the few who is not laughing. Harry is trying to laugh off his embarrassment. I also noted the absence of the twins and my roommates' excessively good humor. Susan gave me a pointedly gleeful look.

Damn them. Those horrid, horrid girls. They must have taken my poem from the room and copied it. My eyes start stinging at the betrayal of trust. We weren't friends, but this was a cruel act. Not just at me, but at Harry also.

Percy begins to shoo us away. He looks at me concernedly before telling me to leave as well. I want to say, "No, Percy. It wasn't me! That's not my poem!" I stay silent instead. They wouldn't believe me anyway. Everyone knows I fancy Harry, thanks to my brother, Ron.

My attention snaps back to Harry when a hush falls over the crowd. "Give that back." I look from Harry to who he was speaking. It is Malfoy. The blonde boy is holding something in his hands, a small black book - a diary.

"Wonder what Potter's written in this?" Malfoy says thinking the diary is Harry's.

No. No. This is not happening. Why me? I got rid of that diary. I threw it away in Myrtle's bathroom. I didn't think it possible that Harry would find it. How did he get it? Did Harry go into the girls bathroom? I stare at the diary as if wishing this all away. It won't help me, but will make me feel better. Almost anything would be better than the fear that has taken hold over my heart.

I didn't pay any attention to Percy trying to get Malfoy to hand it back to Harry. My total focus is on the diary, on Tom. Malfoy cannot have him. Harry can't find out about Tom. Just think of the things he could tell them! Normally I wouldn't of worried, but Tom might just be mad enough at me to tell them my secrets. He is a Slytherin and could be quite temperamental. Tom could also be so kind, sweet, understanding, and helpful. Knowing what he knows, Malfoy would have plenty of material to make my life hell. He'll try his best to get the diary just to spite Harry. Harry probably wouldn't say anything to me if Tom spilled the beans. He'd continue to see me as Ron's pathetic, silly, little sister.

"Expelliarmus!" Harry shouts. The diary shoots out of Malfoy's hand and into the air. Ron catches the diary.

Inwardly, I cheer even as Percy scolds Harry. The diary is much safer in Harry's hands than Malfoy's. Still not good, but better. The lesser evil I suppose.

It is almost class time and, now that the diary is safe, I can go into the classroom. To do so, I have to pass by Malfoy. He looks furious and glares at me. Probably because I'm convenient and a Weasley. Spitefully, he yells after me, "I don't' think Potter liked your valentine much!"

Some of the other first years snicker. I stiffened, and ran into the classroom covering my eyes. Tears of anger, frustration, embarrassment, and fear fill my eyes. Sniffling, I ignore my classmates. I don't contradict Malfoy. Does it even matter? Everyone knew that I fancy Harry. Why would they believe me? They wouldn't understand that my tears come more from the emotional situation other than being 'rejected' by Harry.

This is a nightmare. Alone. I am truly alone now. Before it might have been possible, but now I'll forever be known as Ginny Weasley - Harry groupie. My brothers will likely find this hilarious. With no other allies, no one will believe me if I deny sending the valentine. My roommates won't say anything and will embrace the rumor. Their 'joke' turned out to be a smashing success.

And what to do about Tom? Tom... I miss him even more now. He has been my best friend. Now he may be my only friend. That is, if he forgives me.

I just want to wake up from this nightmare and have Tom back with me. He can save me from this loneliness. Now I need him more then ever. I hope he didn't tell Harry anything. No matter the craziness, things were better with Tom around. Sure, I was tired from that cold and then there were those strange things happening, but at least Tom was there with me.

Harry has him. Well, I suppose there may be only one thing for me to do then. Get Tom back. But how should I?

Now that I know what I'm without.

You can't just leave me.

Breathe into me and make me real.

Bring me to life.

I stare at the diary. What should I say? I never should of thrown Tom away. He was my friend. I guess I wasn't acting like one. Taking up my quill, I cautiously write, and then wait.

A moment passes.

<Ginny. Whatever happened that reduced your resolve so? Remember, I sorry, Tom. I don't want to do this, but I feel that I have to. After so carelessly giving me up, why should I still be your friend? There was no reason for your actions.>

My breathing quickens as the words appear on the page. Tom is talking back to me! There still might be a chance. I hope he isn't too angry with me. The guilt at having my own words used against me is painful enough.

The words are quickly absorbed into the diary as I wait for a response.

<That still doesn't excuse you from discarding me, Gin. However, did you get me back? The last person I remember talking to was that bloke, Harry Potter.>

Brilliant! He is interested at least, it seems. I wonder what those two talked about. If Tom said anything about me to Harry, then the friendship is over. My secrets are supposed to remain secret and the fight was between Tom and me after all. So, what should I say? The truth should do.

My handwriting fades. I then wait a while. Tom must be musing over his thoughts. It's one of the things I love about him. As well as being a good listener, Tom always thinks about what he says. It's nice to be considered so seriously.

<I suppose after all that effort, I should be willing to forgive you. Must say, I'm impressed at the lengths you went through on my behalf. I don't suppose this could have anything about me speaking with a certain bloke, now would it?>

Such a Slytherin answer. Sometimes his ego is something to be catered to. Still, it looks like he forgives me. It'll be nice to be friends again. Now, if only he didn't say anything to Harry.

I wait.

<Ginny, dear. I've missed you too. The time away from you was dreadfully boring. Only once did your boy and I talk. That boy is not much of a conversationalist. Don't worry. It wasn't anything about you. He just wanted to hear about my school days. Don't you trust me? I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. You are too important to me.>

Letting out a big breath, I stare at the words. Tom had kept my secrets. He missed me like I missed him. I am still a bit nervous. After all, I did have reasons for my actions.

He interrupts my shaky, nervous writing. The words suddenly appearing.

<You immediately began to question me. Gin, you are not the heir of Slytherin. Trust me, I know. Was a Slytherin myself. Your heart is too big to do these horrible acts. As for Harry being a Parselmouth, I'm sure that surprised everyone. Your opinion and judgment means a lot to me, Gin. You see good in him, therefore he must be good. It hurt to think you didn't trust me.>

My eyes begin to water. Why did I ever doubt Tom? Without me he has no one to talk to.

The page remains blank for what seems like forever. Maybe I was being too emotional. Should I change the subject?

<You're my girl, Gin. Of course I forgive you. As for becoming uncomfortable with me being a diary... Well, we can't change that right now. The best way to prove that you care is to forget those silly doubts and trust me. Talk to me, Ginny, like you used to. The time you were away from me was like a cold, dark sleep. You can't leave me again. You make me real. Without you, I have no life.>

Look who's now is being over dramatic? Either that or emotional. Hmm. It's hard to tell with Tom. That was such a sweet answer! He really must have missed me.

I smile. Looking at what I wrote I must seem like a silly little girl. It was truth.

<No, Ginny that is where you're wrong. You bring life to me.>

He sounds so sure. I wish I could feel that certainty as often. I couldn't resist teasing him some.

<What can I say? It's true. You're my purpose. Someone who enjoys writing to me, for me. So, are you ever going to begin telling me what I've missed during your absence? Talk to me, Gin.>

Smiling, I began to think of all the things that have happened since we last talked. We had a lot of catching up to do. It is a good thing I have the time. This could take a while.

<Sounds interesting. I have a couple of ideas. Tell me more.>

The story comes back to mind as I start writing out the story. A familiar feeling of belonging overcomes me. My thoughts captivated by my conversation with Tom. We talk until I fall asleep. The diary still in my hands.

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside.

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside.

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark.

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run.

(I can't wake up)

Before I come undone

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I've become.

It has been a month since I got Tom back. I can't imagine being without him anymore. The three months alone were a tense trial, especially after the Valentine incident.

I had tried to make other friends, I really did, but none compares to Tom. Other people only see me as the Weasley's little sister or as The-Girl-Who-Fancies-Harry-Potter. I got tired of trying, so from then on I stuck with Tom. With him as my friend I feel that I can manage almost anything.

Unfortunately, events have started to cause me to doubt Tom once again. Oh, it was nothing that he said or did. No, just a disturbing feeling and the suspicious coincidences.

The morning after retrieving the diary was awful. I remember sitting at the table, tired from writing to Tom late into the night only to be woken up by a nightmare, when I heard the news. Hermoine and Penelope Clearwater had been petrified! Hermoine is best friends with Ron and Harry. Penelope is Percy's secret girlfriend.

Poor Harry, Percy, and Ron! This attack has hurt the people closest to me. I felt guilty about being happy while they were so sad. I tried not to, but was filled with mixed emotions. My talk with Tom had made me happier than I had been in a long while. After I told Tom the news and about my nightmare, he quickly started to make me feel better. It was no wonder I had a nightmare and these feelings with everything that has been going on. I was having a very emotional time.

So, why am I considering going to Ron and Harry about Tom. I know I'm not the heir just as they're sure they aren't. We are all Gryffindors not Slytherins and Tom and I talked all that night.

I woke up from another nightmare. In it was a scary, gloomy cave, a teenage boy, and blood. For the first time in a while I didn't reach for the diary. Sitting in my bed, I stared into the air at nothing and simply think.

Over the last couple of weeks I've been tired. I thought that perhaps I was ill again. Between the naps, class, studying, and writing I didn't have much free time. For the past week, ever since the announcement of final exams, I've felt odd. Something exciting or terrible is going to happen. Then there was the nightmare. I'm no Seer, but last nights dream appeared to be a message.

Tom is a Slytherin. The thought suddenly occurs to me. Maybe I'm not tired because of my emotions or schedule. I could be paranoid, yet I wonder if.... It seems so unbelievable and true that it frightens me. Could Tom be the Heir? Is he using me as his puppet?

I need someone else's opinion and help. Hermoine would have been great if she wasn't petrified. The Twins would be no help. Percy, I don't think would take me seriously. Although terrified by the thought, the only people I can consider talking to are Harry and Ron. Harry, after all, is a hero. If this is true, he'll need to know. He can help me, save me.

Dressing quickly, I stuff the diary in my robe's pocket. I'll tell them at breakfast. I try to quell my fear as it grows with each passing second.

There he is. Sitting with my brother. I pause. Professor McGonagall is making an announcement.

"I have good news," she said. The Great Hall erupted with noise.

"Dumbledore's coming back!" several people cried out throughout the hall.

"You've caught the Heir of Slytherin!" squealed a girl from the Ravenclaw table.

"Quidditch matches are back on!" roared Wood excitedly.

When the noise in the hall quieted, Professor McGonagall said, "Professor Sprout has informed me that the Mandrakes are ready for cutting at last. Tonight, we will be able to revive those people who have been Petrified. I need hardly remind you all that one of them may well be able to tell us who, or what, attacked them. I am hopeful that this dreadful year will end with our catching the culprit."

There was an explosion of cheering. I looked around shocked. This was it, the time. If Tom is the heir, then he must act tonight. Would the victims say it was her? Why ever did Professor McGonagall make that announcement? Surely she would realize that would provoke the heir to act? It's now or never.

I walk over and sat down next to Ron. They had just been talking about Hermoine. Feeling guilty and tense, I can't help but twist my hands in my lap. An old nervous gesture.

Ron helps himself to more porridge, not looking at me, and said, "What's up?"

What should I say? Should I just blurt it out here, or try to talk to them in a more isolated place. I look up and down the table, trying to decide.

My brother is now watching me. "Spit it out." Oh how I wish I could just do that. Then afterward I'd forget this whole thing ever happened. Rocking back and forth in my chair, I try to get pass all these emotions and just say it. I am so tired of all this.

I can't meet their eyes. I fear seeing judgment or pity in them. "I've got to tell you something," I mumble.

"What is it?" Harry says concern.

It's hard to put all this into words, but somehow I must. Before I say anything else, Ron impatiently says, "What?"

My mouth opens, but no sound comes forth. Harry leans towards Ron and me and asks me, "Is it something about the Chamber of Secrets? Have you seen something? Someone acting oddly?"

How does he know? Does he suspect me too? No, he doesn't. Otherwise he wouldn't have asked me if I had seen anyone acting oddly. Sure, the answers were yes to both. But he is on the wrong track, I think.

After my stunned, silent moment, I take a deep breath. I was just about to say that I think it was me and Tom when Percy shows up.

"If you've finished eating, I'll take that seat, Ginny. I'm starving, I've only just come off patrol duty."

I jump up from the seat and quickly leave after looking at my tired, perfect brother. There is no way I'm saying anything when he's around. He'd want to go to the teachers, rumors would spread, I'd be sent to St. Mungo's, and Tom would be taken away from me. I can't let that happen for many reasons. Yes, prevent anymore attacks, but kill Tom? Or St. Mungo's?

No, whatever happens, just let it not be that. I will not ruin my life. It has hardly begun. Maybe I can see them later.

Frozen inside without your touch without your love darling

Only you are the life among the dead.

I haven't been able to see them again. Now we're in the common room. There is no time to seek them out. There are too many people. What can I do? Is there anything I can do? Anyone I can go to?

There is no answer, is there? I'm alone. Strange. For being the youngest of seven children, I've often felt alone. The only girl, the youngest. In the end, it's always been that way. I guess it always will.

So, that means I'll have to solve this myself, right? Brilliant! Now I'm talking to myself. Can this get any worse? Why did I think that?

Well, there is only one thing I can do. No distractions, no interruptions. I must confront Tom. I must be strong. When I'm sure, then I'll decide what to do next. Must hurry. Time is running out. If it is Tom, he'll have to act soon. The year is almost over.

It took some doing, but I sneaked out of Gryffindor Tower and away into an old, abandoned classroom. Taking out the diary, I sit in the corner with just it, my ink well, and my quill. My fingers lovingly carress the leather one last time. Even if Tom is innocent, he'll never forgive me for how I'm about to treat him.

Roughly with determination I open the book. Dip the quill into the ink, and then write.

<Yes, Ginny?>

<I am. I must say you still have your memory Is that all?>

<Why do you ask? You don't reason I'm the one behind the attacks, do you? Ginny, please. I don't even have a body. How could I petrify people?>