With the Swish of a Veil

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Come on, you can do better than that!

I heard him yell, laughing merrily as though the whole thing were a game. His shout reminded me more than ever of a bark, the bark of a dog, a black shaggy dog that briefly flashed before my mind's vision.

I wanted to run in between him and Bellatrix, to stop their dueling, to make them realize that they were the only ones still battling now that Dumbledore had arrived. I was frozen, midturn, indecisive, wanting to spring into action, to do something...

Everyone was looking at them, everyone apparently as frozen as I-- and for one moment, everything was still in the chamber, still except for the deep reverberations of echoing doglike laughter that thrummed through me and I couldn't help but let a compulsory shudder run through my bones, my very marrow... and I was holding onto it for some reason, as though sure I would never feel it again, such an eerie, wholesome feeling I needed--

And Bellatrix broke the compelling, awful silence with a mutter of a curse-- Sirius was still laughing as the jet of red light pummeled into his chest. His eyes widened, bulging in shock, as the impact blew him backwards and he fell, fell, fell as the scene played itself in slow motion before the audience, the audience of disbelieving, helpless bystanders-- I half expected him to continue his graceful death descent forever-- And the sound he made as fell through the veil, a soft whoosh as it enveloped his body--

Only then did the present come back to itself and with a shocked jolt everyone's self sprung back to life-- only I stood there, numb, uncertain. Everyone was yelling, the confusion and chaos overwhelming and I was slowly realizing that Sirius wasn't going to pick himself up and walk back right through that doorway again-- and Bellatrix's triumphant screech of laughter booming above all, overtaking all my sense, so unlike that of Sirius', so proud and defiant and uncaring, so evil...

And Harry finally screamed, sprinting toward the dais. Somehow his cries of Sirius' name unfogged my brain, and I instantaneously dashed towards him, managing to grab him, to halt him... As though from far away I heard myself saying, There's nothing you can do, Harry...

He struggled viciously against my grip, yelling at me, He's only just gone through, we can still reach him-- and while I subconsciously murmured that it was too late, too late, a part of me wondered why not let Harry, he was right after all, Sirius was right there, right behind that veil, if only someone were to whisk it aside Sirius would be standing there, that trademark smirking grin on his face, coolly asking what happened to the battle, you shouldn't have stopped it for me--

A stronger, clearer voice interrupted the mindless babble, pierced its way through membrane and bone and larynx, declared firmly: There's nothing you can do, Harry...

A moment passed before I realized that the voice was being issued through my mouth-- that was my voice-- and I suddenly, jerkingly realized reality, that I was about to have released Harry and that Sirius was dead. Now in control of my own voice I continued, Nothing... he's gone.

I retained a stronger hold on Harry, who was thrashing about violently and yelling desperate cries, but I couldn't feel him, I couldn't hear him. All I knew were Sirius' last words:

Come on, you can do better than that!

A tease. A provoke. I snorted, only noticing then the omininousness of his statement that all were oblivious to. As I remnisate, I wondered idly if it was at those words, that I knew already that it was lost-- that I knew what was to be of Sirius Black.

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