Goodbye to You

Goodbye to You

The memories haunted her nightly. She saw his face every time she closed her eyes. He was always there, circling her mind like a vulture circling his prey. Although she didn't want to, she knew it was time to let him go. He'd fallen out of the bliss he'd fallen into. She really did love him you know. She loved him liked she'd never loved before. He was the one thing she was keen on keeping. She could've lost everything she had and kept him and she'd have been content.

The rain would pour and the thunder would clap outside, yet in her eyes the sun still shone. But it was over now, a shadow, a wisp of smoke or vapor like a weak Patronus. She stared out of the window into the evening and thought it was the perfect time to take a walk. She grabbed her cloak and headed out of the door.

Of all the things I believed in

I just wanna get it over with.

Tears form behind my eyes but I do not cry

Counting the days that pass me by.

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul

Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old.

Feels like I'm starting all over again.

The last three years were just pretend. And I said...

She walked down the road, which was still wet from the previous day's rainstorm. The thoughts still swam through her brain, leaving next to no room for anything else. It'd been such a beautiful time for her. When her heart sank so low and her face never seemed dry, he was there. He was always by her side, always finding a way to bring the smile back to her face and a lift to her spirits.

He could make love to her one night and erase a month's worth of tears. The warmth of him seemed to thaw her frozen heart. Feeling him move in rhythm with herself took her mind off of everything her mind had been on. He, surprisingly, had a gentle touch also. He could brush her face lightly with his hand and a small tear would trickle down her chin, which he would immediately wipe away with his thumb.

When he would snake his way through her robes, it wasn't anxious, but tender. His kiss wasn't rushed and restless, it was mild and loving. But the reality that once was is lost to her, and she's left here, kicking stones along in front of her, wishing she could travel through time.

She kept walking down the sodden path, feeling drizzle coming down to dampen the ground even more. The cold air began to sting her face, but she continued onward. She tried for a minute to imagine his lips on hers, to remember exactly what it felt like. To be loved physically as well as mentally and emotionally. It didn't matter how much she'd ever deny it, she would always miss him.

The rain, regardless of when the sun showed its shining face, would always be falling. She loved him, and he turned his back on her. She continued forward, shivering slightly in the chill of the night. At least the chill is what she wanted to be shivering from. If he were walking with her, he'd have his arms around her, guiding her to some sort of warmth.

Yet here she was, alone and cold, looking up into a starless sky and dreaming of the one person who'd have made it better. It was all his fault. He was the one who said it "wasn't working out" and it "wasn't meant to be." Her heart ached even more as she thought this. What had made him think they weren't working out? She was in love with him, and he'd crush the heart she'd put in his hands; her heart.

Goodbye to you.

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew.

You were the one I loved

The one thing that I tried to hold on to.

Goodbye to you, Draco Malfoy she thought to herself. I'm getting rid of my memoirs of you, of us. If you thought we were falling apart, then we were. The rain came down more heavily now and it seemed to be getting colder by the minute. She decided to start home again since it was getting later and icier at the same time. The visions in her head, however, weren't going anywhere.

It was hard to accept the truth that he was gone, but she had to do it. She wanted to be with him, she wanted it to go on. Having him warm up her body was something she considered more sacred than anything she'd yet encountered. She could've very much used it right now. But if he wanted to leave, then she'd give him what he wanted. She always tried to do that, give him everything he wanted.

She was saying goodbye to all the despair she felt after he disappeared from her. From taking away what was so important to her. Being without him wasn't going to be easy, but then again, nothing nowadays was. She finally arrived home again, going back to her original post by her bedroom window, watching the rain grow steadily more intense. Yet again, something that was going so well ended for no apparent reason. Saying farewell wasn't easy, but it wasn't farewell at all; it was goodbye...for good.

The End