Just a Girl

    October 12, 1995

    I got this diary for my birthday, on September 19. I couldn't be bothered filling it in until now.

    This was a gift from my parents, something to place my deepest thoughts in. Of course it was a gift from my parents. Like I'd get anything from anyone else. Huh.

    Harry gets presents from the both of us. Ron and I. Ron gets presents from both of us. Harry and I. What do I get from them?

    That's right. Big fat nothing. They're the boys. I'm just a girl. I don't matter. I'm just the ugly, plain old girl with a library inside my head. Just a girl.

    Whenever there's a fight, Harry always sides with Ron. I'm left to myself. When will they realise that they're my only friends in the world? When will they realise that I love them and need them more than I love and need anyone else?

    Harry has the fame. I don't mind. I think it would be boring, anyway, people staring constantly at your forehead. Ron, Ron's got the jokes. He's the comedian. I don't mind that, either. A sense of humour isn't something you can learn from a book.

    Me, I'm just the brainiac. I'm just there to correct their essays and help them with homework. I'm just good, reliable, sensible old Hermione.

    They think it's so easy. They think it must come naturally to me. If they ever worked, they'd know. Know that I work harder than they ever will.

    And Harry! My best friend, Harry. So selfish. Everyone speaks constantly of the good, great, NOBLE Harry Potter, who defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named four times! Once when he was just one year old! Snape's right. He's right. It's gotten to his head.

    He tells Ron everything. He doesn't tell me anything. When something awful happens to him, when he needs someone, he goes to Ron. I envy Ron. How I'd love to switch places with him. But I'm just a girl.

    Just a girl. That phrase has been used by Muggles and wizards alike, for centuries. Just a girl. Girls can't do anything. Girls are there to fall in love with and have children. Girls are there to be smart. Girls are there to be the quiet, brave heroines in novels, or the hero's best friend, whom he eventually falls in love with.

    Well Harry can fall in love with me all he likes. He is my best friend and he doesn't even pay me any attention.

    Lavender and Parvati are constantly talking about how cute and sweet and wonderful Harry is. Ginny practically swoons whenever Harry enters the room. And, believe it or not, Padma, Parvati's Ravenclaw sister, thinks Ron is simply adorable. They've both got everything going for them. What have I got?

    That's right. Brains. Brains are nothing for a witch in a wizard's world. I'll never be Minister for Magic, because I'm a girl. I'll never be head of the Department for International Magical Co-operation. I'm just a girl. I will never be Headmaster of Hogwarts, because I am JUST a girl!

    I love them both. They're my best friends. But I hate them. Hate them because I was born a girl.

    That's me. Good old sensible reliable Hermione. Just a girl.

    I think I'll go be sensible in the common room.