Blue Eyed Girl

Roxanne went through the next few days in a fog. She could barely remember anything that happened. Dumbledore had given her permission to leave the school for the weekend to attend her grandmother's funeral. It was extremely difficult to see her family, because they were all as devastated as she was at the loss of the beloved woman. However, she hadn't cried since that Friday night. She'd figured she'd cried so hard that there were no more tears left. Now, it was like she was a walking zombie. When she returned to school for classes on Monday, Katie was waiting for her and tried her best to comfort Roxanne. There wasn't much Katie could do, however, because Roxanne insisted that she was fine and didn't need to be consoled. Of course, it was all a lie, but Roxanne didn't know what Katie could possibly have said that would have any effect on her. Roxanne was completely numb to the world, but she tried her best to appear normal.

Roxanne had asked George a few times if she could talk to him, but he would answer with "not right now" or "maybe later" without even looking at her. He knew that she was going through a difficult time because of her grandmother's death, and he wished he could have done something to help, but he was so hurt by her actions that he just wanted to stay mad at her. He knew she would probably unintentionally say something that would make him feel guilty, even though she was the guilty party in this situation. He was being stubborn and wanted to continue being angry. She'd really hurt him, and she needed to understand that.

This whole ordeal had been rather difficult for Katie as well. One of her friends was angry at another, and she was trying her best to stay out of it, even though it was nearly impossible. From the way George said it, it sounded like Roxanne was all-out cheating on him. Katie felt that she knew Roxanne pretty well, and she knew Roxanne would never do anything like that. However, all she'd heard was George's side of the story, because Roxanne refused to talk about it. She knew Roxanne was going through a really rough time, and Katie tried to get Roxanne to open up to her, but Roxanne would refuse and say that she was fine. Katie knew she was lying. She could tell from the pained smile that Roxanne always had when she was around George, and also because she was eating even less than she normally ate. So until Roxanne finally revealed her side of the story, Katie had a hard time convincing George that it was all a misunderstanding like Katie hoped it was.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The three meals in the Great Hall used to be Roxanne's favorite part of the day. She could catch up with everyone and just enjoy herself. She was making great progress with her recovery from her eating disorder and was soon rivaling Ron Weasley for the title of biggest gourmand of Gryffindor House. However, she'd almost completely lost her appetite since her fight with George and the death of her grandmother. It wasn't that she was starving herself; she was just so upset. She knew if only George would let her talk to him that she could clear up this whole misunderstanding. Therefore, by having George back, her grandmother's death may not seem so devastating. But he refused to talk to her, so there was nothing she could do to remedy the situation.

On Thursday afternoon Roxanne went to the library to get a jumpstart on her homework after a long day of class. She also needed to get away from everyone. She knew Katie was only looking out for her, but she was constantly at her; asking her if she needed to talk, saying that she didn't look so good, telling her she needed to eat more. It was driving Roxanne nuts. She knew she just needed to get away before she snapped and said something she would regret. Katie was only trying to be her friend, and right now, she was the only friend Roxanne had. She didn't need to go and make Katie mad at her too. So she figured it was best to just stay away from everyone for the few hours before dinner.

It seemed like she'd been making Astronomy charts for hours when she finally looked down at her watch and realized that she had. As she'd predicted, she wasn't hungry, but she thought she could use a break. She rolled up all of her parchment and stuffed everything into her bag and walked to the Gryffindor common room to drop it off. Then she walked into the Great Hall and took her seat next to Katie as usual. Angelina and Alicia had switched seats with Fred and George after what happened, so they were now sitting across from Katie and Roxanne. They each greeted her like they did for every other meal and continued their conversation. Roxanne had made it a point not to look at George during the meals not only because it made her feel bad, but also because she felt angry. He just looked down at his plate and interjected in Fred and Lee Jordan's conversation every now and then. Sometimes Roxanne could feel him looking at her, so she would look over just in time to see him look down at his plate again. She wanted so much to just talk to him, but he kept refusing her. In her opinion, he was bringing this misery on himself. Because he wouldn't let her explain, he was allowing himself to continue to be upset and angry.

After she served herself some beef and mashed potatoes, she allowed herself to sneak a glance at George. He was talking to Fred about something and looked over to Roxanne at the same time. He didn't quickly look away like he usually did. He just gazed into her eyes for a moment, like he was trying to tell her something. Then he shook his head bitterly and looked away. Roxanne looked away too, exhaling angrily. How dare he look at her like that and try to make her feel guilty? It was his fault they weren't on speaking terms anymore. She tried desperately to talk to him, but he stubbornly refused. She shook her head slightly as she stared at her own plate, picking at her food.

"Still not hungry?" Katie asked when she noticed Roxanne picking at her food. Roxanne just shook her head in reply. She was annoyed with George and didn't want to take it out on her friend, so she figured it would be best to just keep her mouth shut.

"You haven't been eating much lately," Angelina stated with concern. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Alicia put in. "You know, you really need to eat more and get some of your energy back."

"They're right," Katie continued. "I know it's been hard for you, but you really need to keep yourself healthy."

"Would you just stop?" Roxanne cried as she slammed her fork down next to her plate. Enough was enough. She was sick of how they were constantly pestering her about what she ate. She knew she wasn't eating very much, but why does it matter? There was no reason for them to keep bringing it up. They were treating her like a child, and she couldn't take it anymore. She just completely snapped. "What difference does it make how much I eat?" Katie, Angelina, and Alicia looked at her stunned, as did everyone in the immediate vicinity. Even Fred, George, and Lee Jordan stopped in the middle of their conversation to look over at her curiously. No one had ever heard Roxanne raise her voice to anyone like that, but she just lost it. Between the constant pestering about her eating habits and George barely speaking to her as a result of this huge misunderstanding that he wouldn't let her explain, she just couldn't take it anymore. "I'm sick of how you're always badgering me about my appetite! There are more important things to talk about other than 'How much Roxanne ate today'!" she shouted irritably at the three girls as she jumped up from the table.

"Rox, I was only-" Katie started to say, still shocked by Roxanne's sudden outburst.

"Forget it," Roxanne cut her off, and she quickly walked out of the Great Hall with her head down, not making eye contact with anyone. She just needed to get away from everyone. She stomped up the main staircase, still fuming. Why couldn't everyone see that she just needed to be left alone? Why did they bother her with such stupid things like how much she ate? Who cares? She slowed down some when she realized she was alone. She didn't know where to go or what to do. All she knew was that she needed to be alone to calm down and think for a while. She decided to head outside to the lake, so she turned around to head back down the hallway, back to the main stairs. She was walking, staring at the carpet, when she heard the voice of the last person in the world she wanted to talk to.

"Well, look who it is," she heard Malfoy say with cool confidence. She looked up to see him smiling coldly as he walked toward her.

"Don't even start with me, Malfoy," Roxanne spat, annoyed. Of all people to run into when she wanted to be alone, it had to be him. He was the cause of most of her problems.

"Oh, a little testy are you, Mudblood?" he scoffed as he stopped where he was and crossed his arms in front of his broad chest. "Got your knickers in a knot?"

Roxanne was just about to leave and ignore him, but she decided against it. Now was as good a time as any to put Malfoy in his place.

"What's your problem?" Roxanne asked angrily, advancing closer to him. "What did I ever do to you?"

"You know what my problem is?" Malfoy sneered hotly, his cool countenance fading. "You're just this clueless, innocent, little prat who thinks the whole world revolves around you. You walked in here batting your eyelashes as if to say 'Oh, look at me. I'm new, and I'm so helpless. Somebody needs to take care of me.' And then you go and act like the teacher's pet, always doing what's expected of you. It's disgusting."

Roxanne just stared at him, her face contorted with contempt. She couldn't believe he just said that. She new damn well that she could take care of herself. She'd show him.

"Oh yeah?" she said, challenging him. She new it was immature, but what else could she say?

"Yeah," he scoffed, his voice full of disdain as if proving to her that there was nothing for her to challenge.

Roxanne had no idea where her next action came from. She was just so pissed off that she completely lost all sense of decency. Looking back, she probably wouldn't have handled the situation the way she did, but it was all she could think of at the time. She reached out and grabbed the front of Malfoy's robes. He winced, obviously thinking Roxanne was going to punch him, which probably wouldn't have been a bad idea, but she didn't punch him. Instead, she yanked him toward her and kissed him hard, full on the lips. He was shocked and didn't react right away. Roxanne was shocked too, but she didn't let up. She pulled on his robes as hard as she could to keep him from moving away from her.

After a few moments, Malfoy seemed to realize what was happening. Just as he started kissing her back, she pushed him away from her as forcefully as before. She let out a deep breath while thinking, 'omigod, omigod, omigod.' But she knew she couldn't let Malfoy see her unsure of herself, so she looked up to him with a smirk on her face and cocked her eyebrow as if to say, "Told you so." He just looked at her, breathing heavily, still somewhat shocked. She turned away from him and started walking before she could cause any more damage. She closed her eyes as 'omigod, omigod, omigod' continued to play nonstop in her head.

Before she got very far, Malfoy reached out, grabbed her hand, whipped her around to face him, pulled her toward him, and kissed her just as hard as she'd kissed him. Now, it was Roxanne's turn to be shocked. This was all so crazy, but she couldn't help herself. She was so mad at George for not letting her explain. This felt like a way to get back at him for the torture he was putting her through. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms tightly around Malfoy's neck, deepening the kiss. It was like this was a way for her to let all of her anger out. She felt like she was doing something bad, and it felt good.

Her hand slowly crept up Malfoy's neck and into his gelled hair. Upon feeling the stiffness of his hair she seemed to realize exactly what it was she was doing. She was kissing Malfoy. Not George. She hated Malfoy, and he hated her. She really liked George. She should be with him, not Malfoy. It seemed that at that same moment, Malfoy realized what he was doing too, because they both pulled away from each other. Roxanne examined his face for a moment before she pulled her arms away from his neck. They both opened their mouths to say something, but they were both so stunned neither could think of anything to say. Instead, they abruptly turned away from each other and quickly walked off in opposite directions.

The 'omigod, omigod, omigod' chorus that'd been playing in Roxanne's head grew louder and more frantic as she walked. Luckily, she was near the Gryffindor dormitory. She quickly said the password and stumbled through the portrait hole. She collapsed onto the couch in the empty common room and shouted, "OH - MY - GOD!" She didn't exactly feel guilty like she thought she would. What did she have to feel guilty about? It wasn't like George was her boyfriend, and she just cheated on him. He wasn't even talking to her. She knew that she desperately needed to talk to someone about this. She figured it was about time she open up to Katie; that is, if Katie would even talk to her after that stunt Roxanne pulled at dinner. She desperately hoped Katie would forgive her and stared blankly into the fire to wait until Katie returned from dinner.