Outside

A couple of Gryffindors looked at Ginny strangely when she began sitting with the Slytherins, but nobody else really noticed. Now that Harry and Hermione and Ron and Draco weren't around, everything had gone back to the way it was before they'd all come to Hogwarts. Which, Ginny observed, meant there wasn't a lot of inter-House mingling, but there also wasn't a lot of animosity or acrimony either. Snape took a lot of points from Gryffindor, but not as much as when Harry or Ron were around, and he gave a lot of points to Slytherin, but not as much as when Draco had been there, and he ignored Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, except for when he needed one or two of them to help make sleeping draughts or painkillers for Madame Pomfrey's stores.

Ginny liked this new Hogwarts, and she liked sitting with the Slytherins. They asked her questions sometimes, but nobody at any Slytherin table ever really participated in a discussion, because they didn't really care about things like whether or not the House Elves were earning a decent wage or who was on the cover of Witch Weekly. It was like sitting at a Gryffindor table, except every once in a while, someone acknowledged her existence without mentioning The Great Bloody Boy Who Lived or one of her brothers.

Once they fought about Voldemort. Two students she barely knew, whose names she could never remember, came to blows. They were separated by the boy who was a Beater, who lectured them: "The Dark Mark is not a fashion statement..."

Ginny tuned them all out and opened the letter from her mother. She'd only just had one the week before last, filled with details of Ron and Harry's Quidditch match and the hols. This one was short and to the point:

Dear Ginny,

Your father and I would like to see you. Sometime before you graduate would be nice. Please come home for a weekend.

Love,
Mum

Ginny rolled her eyes and chewed on a piece of crust. When she'd finished, she brushed crumbs off the parchment, shoved a skinny fifth year away from her coffee, which he was staring at with great longing, and pulled a quill out of her bag. She brushed the feather against her nose once, twice, and penned a reply.

Mum, I'll come this weekend if Dumbledore says it's okay. Love to you and Dad, Ginny.

#

Molly Weasley pointed her wand at Ginny's forehead. "Valetudinis."

"Mum, I'm not ill. I'm just tired. I told you that already."

"Well, you look terrible. You can't blame me for being worried. That's what mothers do."

"I know. I just..." Ginny sighed.

"Ginny is fine, Molly," reported the wand. "She needs a nap and a hug, and possibly a psychiatric evaluation."

"Ha ha." Ginny scowled.

"Ginny..." Molly sat down across the table from her youngest child, and folded her hands. She stared down at her fingers, arranging and rearranging them.

"Mum. What's going on? I know I haven't been myself lately--I've just been studying hard, and--"

"I'm not stupid, Ginny," said Molly sharply. "Neither is your father."

"What?"

"We know you spent the holidays with the Malfoys. Did you think Lucius wouldn't tell anyone? He would say anything, do anything to discredit your father with the Ministry. Having the youngest Weasley over for tea and pudding was a coup! What were you thinking? Are you mad? Are--" Molly stopped herself and took a deep breath, then another.

Ginny waited for her to finish, nibbling on her bottom lip. On the one hand, she wasn't quite a spy yet, wasn't quite all the way into the darkness. She had options. She could back out now--Dumbledore wouldn't care. Snape would be annoyed, but Snape was always annoyed. And she wasn't really participating. Would she ever really be able to do anything important to help? Probably not. She'd be just another nameless casualty of the war--but it would be worse, because she'd have done it voluntarily...

"Virginia Weasley, you look at me." Her mother's shrill voice cut into Ginny's thoughts and she dragged her eyes up from the tabletop. "What were you thinking?"

"Mum, I--"

"Lucius implied there was something between you and Draco. I know you're terribly upset about Harry, dear, but can't you find someone more suit--"

"Mum. Mum! I am not interested in Draco. I have not had a crush on Harry since my fourth year. I was over at the Malfoys because... Because..." Ginny blinked slowly. It's now or never, Ginny. Make your choice. "Because they invited me."

"They invited you?" repeated Molly. "Why would they do a thing like that?"

"Recently certain... things have become clear to me. I know you and Dad can't understand this, that we believe differently, that... Well, that there are times when I think you are both just plain wrong." And all of this is true, Ginny told herself. Things have become clear--I must stop sitting on the sidelines and join in the fight. There are times when I think Mum and Dad are wrong. And we do believe differently about certain things. And... Ginny sighed. Molly's eyes were round and her mouth hung open a bit. "It's not the end of the world, Mum. Lots of families have different political beliefs."

"Virginia Weasley. Are you going to take the Dark Mark?" Molly sounded horrified, and Ginny was surprised that she found herself fighting back tears. Did her parents' opinion mean that much to her?

"I don't think so, Mum. I've nothing against Muggles, you know. That's not what this is about." Ginny swallowed hard and ignored the impulse to crawl into her mother's lap and promise to be a good girl. The look of disappointment on Molly's face wasn't something she'd easily forget.

But Molly's expression was slowly changing, tightening, becoming less readable. "Well then," she finally said. "Perhaps you'd better go back to school today instead of Sunday. You can Floo to Diagon Alley and then Floo to the Great Hall from there. I suppose we'll see you again at your commencement. I'll let your father know you said goodbye."

Ginny blinked. Charlie could sleep with anything that moved and Percy could be a sanctimonious git and Ron could completely screw up saving the world and Fred and George could blow up countless toilets, but Ginny couldn't have dinner with the Malfoys? What?

Yes, she thought as she packed her overnight sack back up. Sometimes I definitely disagree with my parents.

#

"No going back now." Snape swept into the room, robes flapping.

Ginny didn't look up from behind her desk, where she was pulverizing mandrake root. "Going back from what?"

"It's all over the school, you silly girl. Everyone knows your parents sent you away for consorting with the Malfoys." There was an odd note of satisfaction in Snape's voice.

"Didn't you believe I'd really do it?" Ginny asked dully.

"No, I didn't. You may not be a typical Gryffindor, the rest of them all running headlong into danger and playing the fool, but you're also not a Slytherin, no matter how many lunches you spend at our tables." Snape raised his eyebrows at her.

Ginny glared at him a moment before going back to her mandrake root. "My parents are important to me, and it hurts me to have to hurt them."

Snape was quiet for a moment, but Ginny knew he was coming closer to her because she could smell him--that weird chemical tang he brought into every room. "But you will hurt them, because that's what you have to do."

She looked up into his eyes, and they weren't as sharp as she'd expected, but they still cut into her, the way they always did. All seeing. All knowing. Not like Dumbledore, with a wise and kindly understanding, but harsh, and judging, seeing to the heart of the matter and discarding it with a graceful flick of his wrist.

"I'll do what I have to do, Professor." She was relieved to note that her voice was steady. "And you're right--I will hurt them. But they hurt me too. It didn't take much at all to convince them that I was consorting with Death Eaters. My mum just sat right across the table from me and believed everything I told her."

"And somehow you were expecting she would be sensitive to your teenage caprice? That your father would want to understand"--Snape sneered--"why you've chosen to align yourself with those who have destroyed so many of his compatriots?"

"No." Ginny pushed away the mandrake root, laid her pestle to the side. "I just thought maybe they would fight a little bit harder for me."

Snape rolled his eyes, leaned over the table. He presented an imposing figure, but Ginny ignored the menace inherent in the gesture and glared at him some more. "Did you ever think, you stupid child, that they didn't fight for you because they knew they didn't have to?"

She was taken aback. She blinked her eyes rapidly and thought about her mother's reaction. Thought about the lack of communication from the rest of her family. She had expected an owl from at least Ron, if no-one else, but hadn't received anything except a half-hearted Howler from Percy, rambling on about the family's honor and letting oneself be seduced by veela. "So you're saying--"

"I'm saying nothing, and if you are half as smart as Dumbledore thinks you are, you will say nothing as well. The walls have ears, and rumor can be deadlier than fact. If you would ever think to pay attention when I teach, you would know this already." Snape glanced down at her mortar and lifted his eyebrows again. "And while crushed mandrake root is helpful in several of the potions we'll be making this week, destroyed beyond recognition mandrake root is not. Do it again. Do it properly this time. Ten points from Gryffindor."

#

"I've been holding my breath."

"No wonder your Potions grade has dropped," replied Snape caustically.

"You know what I mean." She handed him the coarsely chopped camomile flowers just as he opened his mouth to ask for them, and he scowled at her. She scowled back. "I'm just waiting for that other foot to fall. Now that I am totally estranged from my family, I'd like something to justify it. Something other than dinner with the Malfoys every week." She shuddered. Watching Lucius Malfoy eat wasn't an experience she enjoyed. He was as single-minded at cutting his meat as he was at everything else, and it was disturbing.

Ginny watched Snape stir the sleeping draught. More than twice as strong as what Madame Pomfrey gave to students, alucinari was intended for professors, for lucid dreaming, so they could be awake inside their dreams and control what was happening. It was one of Ginny's favorites to make, because it smelled like flowers and the countryside and that little patch of land on the stream near the Burrow, where the water ran clean enough to drink.

"You are getting something out of it," Snape replied dryly. "You're sleeping with that sixth year. If I recall correctly, Slytherins are nothing if not good in bed."

"Mordrin? No, he fancies boys. It just suits our purposes to let everyone think that--rumor can be deadlier than fact, you know. We're studying Advanced Divination."

Snape snorted. "Tea leaves. Almost as useless as that wand-waving you Gryffindors are so fond of. At least that sixth year has the good sense to keep his predilictions hidden."

"Why?"

"For crying out loud, girl. The Dark Lord's always going on about purity of the blood. It's the duty of all his followers to present him with pureblood children, sexual preference notwithstanding." He paused. "Wormwood extract, two drops."

Ginny added the requested herb, and then opened her mouth to ask a question.

"Before you ask, the reason I have yet to present the Dark Lord with an heir is because I have other uses. If I'm off taking care of children, I have no time to spy on Dumbledore."

"Do--no, nevermind. I don't want to know."

"Oh no?" Snape raised one eyebrow at her over the cauldron, and she realized that was where Malfoy had to have gotten the gesture from. Snape did it so well--she just hadn't noticed it before. She handed him crushed rose hips, and frowned as he used his wand as a whisk.

"No. I don't want to know. I'm curious, but not that curious. And anyway... there are other things I'd rather think about."

Snape cooled the potion off with a touch of his wand. His dark eyes held Ginny in place when he looked up at her. "Do not dare do something as foolish as what you must be thinking. That your murky status isn't well-known in the Wizarding world yet can only work in your favor. Do not forget you are still expected to take your NEWTs in a few short weeks, to go out into the world and find yourself a job, to become a useful member of society, your status with Dumbledore aside. Your family knows, the Miinistry knows, Death Eaters know. Everything else is just hearsay, gossip, that keeps the power with you."

Ginny shrugged. "I just can't stand the waiting."

Snape drew in a quick breath. "It seems you won't have to wait too much longer." He clutched convulsively at his arm. "We are being summoned."

"Summoned? Oh!" Her eyes opened wide. "Suddenly I'm not so sure this is a good idea. I think I've changed my mind."

"Miss Weasley, it is far too late for you to decide you don't want to do this." He clenched his jaw. "We have to go now. Do you have all your potions?"

Ginny nodded. "And I've been getting the contraceptus from Madame Pomfrey every week. It was Mordrin's idea--give everyone something to think about."

"Excellent. Now we have to go down to the outskirts of the grounds and Apparate from there."

"I can't Apparate yet! Why can't we Floo?" Ginny followed him out of the room, wishing she'd thought to wear something warmer than a lightweight work robe over her uniform skirt and half-sleeve shirt. Despite that it was springtime, the air was still chilly.

"Because the summoning is coming directly from Voldemort. I don't even know where we're going." She was following behind him, but he suddenly turned and grabbed his arm. "This is real now. This is life and death and everything in between. All of your nightmares come to life."

"You know nothing about my nightmares," she replied quietly.

#

"Draco, would you like her? I know you have a special affection for Weasleys, and she is your father's, after all."

"Sir, I am honored, but I am still a novice. I would not want to ruin your fun with a clumsy mistake due to inexperience."

"I'll take her! I'll take her!"

"Silence."

"But, my Lord--"

"Avada kedavra." Green light. A chuckle from behind her. "Have another child, Goyle, and make sure this one isn't so irritating. I am tired of my followers whining at me all the time."

"Yes, my Lord."

"Draco, I think perhaps you and Severus together... It will be a good learning experience for you. And the thought of Severus and one of his students--a Gryffindor no less... That pleases me."

"My Lord, if I may?"

"Yes, Lucius?"

"Will we all be allowed to watch? I..." Pause. The clearing of a throat. "Severus is always a learning experience. And there are many of us who would like to watch the last Weasley brat be... tested."

Ginny felt her face muscles try to contract into a scowl, but of course she couldn't move. Petrificalus totalus, she thought in disgust. One would think that Dark Wizards would have something more interesting.

"Let's proceed." The Dark Lord, the one everyone was so afraid of, clapped his hands together. Ginny was sort of appalled. He wasn't scary or intimidating. She could feel his power, but it was weak, substandard, and he wasn't even entirely corporal yet. Plus he was ugly. Even though her parents had tried to instill in her the belief that witches and wizards shouldn't be judged solely on their looks, it was hard to not judge him on his looks. She'd had plenty of time to stare at him and make that judgment, too, because she'd been frozen right from the moment Snape had Apparated them into the clearing where Voldemort had called the Death Eaters.

Ginny couldn't be sure, but she'd have guessed they were somewhere near Muggle Manchester in England. No wonder Voldemort's power was weak, if he'd called just under one hundred wizards from all over the world to north England. Even she knew that wasn't very good strategy.

Voldemort made a hand gesture and she floated through the clearing to a stone table that she was pretty sure hadn't been there before. Wandless magic? she wondered. No--it was Avery's wand floating her.

She was placed on the stone table and found she could move again, but instead of struggling, she lay there, staring up at the sky as the Death Eaters moved closer. Voldemort's weird, scratchy voice sounded in her ears. "So you want to follow the Dark Lord, Miss Weasley? You want to know what it is to give yourself over to my will and do my bidding? In this time of war, how can I be sure you're not just trying to save yourself from the fate that awaits all of your Harry Potter-loving cohorts?"

"My Lord, I will do anything you ask to prove my loyalty." Ginny almost choked on the words. What if she had to kiss someone like Avery... or Malfoy...? Ick.

"So you will submit to the test, that which all Death Eaters must? To bring your true Dark powers to fruition within you?"

"Yes, my Lord." She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Didn't Voldemort sound just like a character from a silly, overdone Muggle novel?

Ginny couldn't help but wish that there was something of Tom left inside that ugly shell. She knew it was silly and stupid, the hope of a young girl who was too optimistic for her own good, but... But she wished it nevertheless, because Tom... Tom... He...

"A new Dark Wizard, a new member in our family, a new help against the Muggle problem! Perhaps she will be worthy of the Dark Mark; most women aren't, but we shall see. If she entertains me, we will keep her. She may be useful--"

"And think of the scandal!" cried someone in the back.

"An excellent point. From what I understand, there's already much strife in the Light community at the thought of one of Arthur's brats leaving his fold." Ginny gave in and rolled her eyes. This is what scares the great Boy Who Lived? This pathetic creature and his dimwitted followers? "Severus, if you will."

Oh. Wait. No. Anyone but Severus--Snape. She could handle anyone else, anything else. But not--not--

And then his face was there, and so was Draco Malfoy's. "Severus, I am honored that you would teach me with your pet."

Ginny took a deep breath and held it. Snape's eyes were blank, as hard as the stone under her, but she knew if he could allow it, she'd be able to see all the regret he buried.

"She was your father's pet, and now she is the Dark Lord's," Snape reminded him briskly. "Now then." He took up his wand and drew it down Ginny's body. and her robes fell apart as though he'd cut through them with one of his potions knives. "Watch carefully, Draco. It is important that they bleed."

#

So this was torture. So this was one of the ways one had to prove loyalty to Voldemort. So this was the third step. To hang naked from invisible chains in the middle of a clearing in front of all Voldemort's Death Eaters, legs spread, shoulders popping out from the strain, sweat coursing over skin, panting.

Despite all of Dumbledore's hints and Snape's thinly veiled warnings, Ginny had not expected anything like this. She wasn't sure what she'd expected, maybe pulling wings off butterflies, or--or something. Not this.

She was trying feverishly to keep at least part of her mind intact. To not let go.

First you sup with the Death Eaters. You talk about your dissatisfaction with the Light. You talk about Dumbledore and Harry and how insipid they all are. Then you go to an informal meeting, and you watch them, and you say all the right things, and you don't interfere when they kill a Muggle. Then you meet Voldemort. The Dark bloody Lord, petulant as a child. Then you do this. Why didn't Severus--Snape--say anything about this? Why didn't he warn me? Because then it wouldn't have been such a surprise. My reactions wouldn't have been authentic. He--

Ginny winced as the transfigured wand came down on her back again. It should have hurt, she knew it should have hurt, but she was shuddering with pleasure, and the enraptured Death Eaters were crowing. Snape had given her a numbing potion for Christmas, disguised as a bottle of fancy body lotion, but it wasn't working, and Ginny knew as well as anyone that one of the marks of a true Dark Wizard was to feel pain as pleasure.

Perhaps this was destined after all.