A Time for Understanding

Chapter 11: A Wish

Severus stood stock still in the center of the over crowded hallway, taking in the outrageous picture before him. Dumbledore had wasted no time sending the children home. They were everywhere; littering the floors, jostling about, some sucking in great mouthfuls of air as they sobbed their parting farewells. The litany of sniffles irritated him, as did the sound of those students too dense to levitate their travel bags. The dragging sound of the valises upon the floor was grating to the nerves, although in their overwrought state perhaps it was best that there were only a small number of hovering cases to watch out for. The great arched ceilings could barely contain the floating baggage as it was. He fully expected an accident to occur, some unfortunate soul's rumpled clothing to rain upon them in a torrent of socks and underthings.

Rudely jostled from behind, Severus turned to glare at a tiny first year whose arms were overflowing with an assortment of clothes and books. She muttered an apology, not bothering to look up at the black wall of cloth with which she had collided. He watched her body diminish as it further made its way into the hall, melding into the mess of rustling robes, howling familiars and steep mountains of personal belongings. For once the students seemed to be paying his dark figure little attention. Severus supposed it was just as well. At the moment they had greater things to fear then the wrath of their potions master. Albus had seen to that quite nicely.

He had been rather pleased at the Headmaster's announcement of evacuation; it had not been turned into an excuse for student coddling. Severus had quite expected their eviction to be masked by some absurd excuse of renovation or newly established holiday. However, it seemed that soothing the children had not been on Albus' agenda, which truth be told was rather full at present. He had been quite frank with them--his words simple but serious. However, it seemed that the acknowledgement of such nearby danger had sent the little blighters into quite an upheaval. Poppy was currently trying to assuage those in the most amount of distress by plying them with ample doses of potion and pats on the back.

Severus glared as a suitcase went whizzing by his head at uncommon speed. Where was she? He scanned the hall again. Although looking for one specific person in this great heap of humanity was perhaps an exercise in futility, he thought her massive amount of hair might have facilitated his search. As it was, he'd had no sight of her, and was instead being tormented by the company of sniveling little creatures who were miserably failing to respect his personal space.

He scowled, surveying the room once more as he readied to leave. He'd have gone had his eyes not caught hold of that shock of red hair bobbing amongst the rest. Severus grimaced, wishing he had left before he'd sealed his fate. Teeth clenched tightly, he cut through the throng in angry strides, children leaping out of the way so as not to be trampled.

Ron, arms heavily laden as he helped a fellow student with his books, opened his eyes wide as he saw a unmistakably irritated Severus Snape stalking in his direction. Severus came to rest directly in front of Ron, consequently blocking the boy's view of the surrounding commotion.

"Mr. Weasley."

"Yes, Sir?" Ron shifted uncomfortably, trying to balance his burden.

Severus eyed the boy doubtfully, anticipating the tower of books to come crashing down about their feet.

"I have been trying to locate Ms. Granger, but have found it...difficult. Do you know where she is?"

"No." The response came quickly, barely a breath in between Ron's words and those of his professor.

Realizing he would receive no help from the boy, Severus sneered and pivoted, a step already leading him away from this madness. Before the second step was taken, he heard above the clamor a heavy sigh.

"Professor?"

Snape turned around, eyebrow raised.

"I might try the library." Ron looked his professor directly in the eye, before heading towards Creevey, who seemed to delight in taking pictures of his crying companions, exclaiming something about "publication" as his camera nauseatingly flashed an irregular, bright light. Severus stared after Ron for a moment, wondering at his change of mind. Deciding it was not worth the effort, Severus hurriedly pushed through the bodies in his path, taking the shortest and most direct route to the library. As he made his way past the last few patches of students, he breathed a sigh of relief.

As he strode towards the library Severus heard his footsteps echo in the vacant passageway--all too slowly in his opinion. Time was of the essence. There was no hesitation as his arms reached out to push open the heavy doors, his feet only gaining momentum as he entered the now abandoned room. It was poorly lit in this section of the castle, and as opposed to the horrors of the first floor, utterly emptied and silent. He stilled for a moment, his eyes searching for the small shape he expected to be consorting with the books or hiding behind some darkened shelf. His first glance fruitless, he strode towards the back of the library, his eyes detecting a faint glow that grew stronger with each passing step.

A moment later he turned a corner, and there she was. As he had expected, she was partially obscured by the shadows that danced upon the walls around her, partially hidden by antique, hardbound volumes. His eyes skimmed over the dusty, browning tomes heaped in clusters. It seemed this was an area of the library that Madame Pince had not yet finished shelving. Books lay discarded about them in chaos, though preferable to the type he had just fled. Severus drew closer, not announcing his presence--just watching her. Her slight fingers were absentmindedly hovering above the pages of a thick text, just barely grazing the paper. She shifted in her seat, her eyes squinting slightly as she finally turned the page. The abundant hair he'd searched for was a knot of curls, amber in the candle light. Her robe was resting on the back of her chair; she sat in skirt and jumper, both rumpled.

He cleared his throat, the deep rumble reaching her ears. Brushing back her mutinous mane, she turned to face him, a faint smile on her lips.

Severus slowly approached her seated form. Looking down at her thoughtfully, he asked in a low voice, "It's not good to read in the dark, Ms. Granger. Might I ask why you only have one candle?"

Hermione gestured about the room. "It was like this when I got here. It was so quiet and peaceful; any more light would just ruin the effect."

Severus listened as he took a seat across from her; table, candle and book all that separated them. He deftly reached across the wooden surface, closing the book so that the title was made visible.

"Hogwarts a History? I know you are the dedicated student, but I'm sure under the circumstances Binns wouldn't hold it against if you were to forego your homework this evening." Severus' lips turned upwards in a mock smile.

Hermione took in his words and the small twitch of his lips, her eyes warming at his attempt at small talk.

"I wasn't reading it really. I was just thinking, when this is all said and done, they are going to need to add a few new chapters, won't they?"

Severus eyes darkened. He didn't respond, and the room was filled with a sudden stillness that wrapped itself around the room's two inhabitants. Hermione studied Severus' face raptly, searching for the unspoken question that must have brought him here.

"Were you looking for me?" she prodded.

"Yes." Severus stared directly in to her eyes. So intent upon finding her, he'd had no time to prepare a preface. Now here, he wasn't sure how to begin. He paused for a moment before tentatively stating, "There are those who are not meant to fight."

Hermione looked at him in confusion before realization slowly crept into her eyes. Upon digesting his words her chin rose in defiance. "I'm staying."

Severus scowled. Brows knitting together archly, his voice rose. "Why? Out of some sense of loyalty to Potter? I'm sure he would be happy to see you go home as well. Where it's safe."

Hermione leaned back into her chair. "I don't want safe. I want to be here. I need to be here, just like you do."

Frustrated, Severus balled his hands into fists, a throbbing vein appearing near his temple from the tension.

"You are far too intelligent for this, Hermione. There are so many possibilities for your life. You should not risk that for a place on the battle field."

Hermione's brows rose at being called by her first name. She hadn't realized with what sincerity he was trying to convince her. She looked at him with newfound appreciation.

"The same could be said about you." The honesty in her eyes did nothing for Severus. Nor did the compliment.

He drew closer, aggravation displayed in the crease between his eyes. "Look at me, Hermione. This is my fault. This 'intelligent' man is the one whose actions spurred Voldemort to make his deciding move. We would not be in our current predicament had I not been caught."

Hermione shook her head, her voice filled with disgust as she answered him. "Please. We have all lived these past few years knowing that this moment would arrive sooner or later. And to be honest...I'm tired of waiting. Maybe it's better that it happens now. This could be a good thing. Voldemort is so enraged that he is rushing into confrontation without much preparation. And he's doing so here, on our home ground. I would say this is as good as it's going to get." She softened her voice as she spoke the last few sentences. "So I don't want to hear anymore self condemnation. What's done is done. We just have to make the best of things as they are."

"Your life will be in danger." Severus felt as if he would choke on the words.

"I know that." She met his eyes gravely.

Dubiously, Severus looked at her innocent face. "You aren't afraid?"

"Of course I am. But I'm staying, regardless." She said the words kindly but firmly, her knowing eyes drilling into Severus'.

There would be no convincing her then. He leaned his elbows on the table in silent defeat, his head hanging slightly. "I very much wish that you would reconsider." Severus' wishes had held very little sway in the past, and he fully realized they would have no effect now. He was mystified as to why he allowed the words to escape his lips at all.

"How can I leave when all I hold dear is here?" The words were softly whispered--words with a plain enough meaning.

Severus jerked his head up to stare at the girl. She was watching him, her brown eyes expectantly fixed upon him as she waited for his reaction.

He averted his eyes, instead watching as the candle lighting the room began to flutter about in a last desperate, dying dance. He saw the shadows begin to more fully envelope her face, weaving its way through her hair, creeping into her eyes. He clenched his hands once more, knuckles becoming prominent and white. So she would not leave. Even so, the danger would not touch her; he would see to that. Here was a mission he would not fail. He could not. As Severus made his silent promise, the candle extinguished in a curling wisp of invisible smoke.