From Out of the Past Is the Future Born

"Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?"

Mae looked up into his bright blue eyes, surprised. He was looking down at her, his beautiful crooked grin ready to persist if she said no.

She blushed and glanced around the common room. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were huddled in the corner supposedly studying for their O.W.L.s.

They were going to give her a hard time. Going on a date with Gideon Prewett, the best beater the Gryffindor Quidditch team had seen in years, the best looking Seventh Year around.

A whole two years older...

It would be worth it...

Mae smiled up at him. "I suppose," she replied quietly.

"Great," he said, his grin growing wider. "Want to meet me at Hog's Head?"

"Sure."

He nodded. "I'll see you then. Have a good night."

"You too..."

~

It was almost unbearably warm in Hog's Head. Mae pushed her way through the crowd of students by the bar and saw Gideon sitting at a table in the corner. His face broke into a grin as he saw her and waved.

Mae sat down across from him and smiled.

"Hi," she said quietly. What's wrong with me? She thought. Why am I so shy all of a sudden?

"Hi," he replied fondly. "Ready to order? I already got us some butterbeers. You like them, right?"

Mae nodded. "Thanks." She took a sip.

"So are you excited for the match next Friday?" she asked, watching his eyes light up.

"Am I ever! My last Quidditch match and we're going to pummel Slytherin, I promise you."

Mae laughed. "You'd better."

"You'll be there, right?" he asked hopefully.

Mae chuckled. "Of course! I wouldn't miss it."

"Good," he replied, taking a sip of his butterbeer.

They continued to talk for another hour, until Gideon looked at his watch and said, "Ah, bugger. We need to get back to the school, I think."

Mae felt the excitement of the past hour drain out of her. She was having a good time.

Gideon looked up at her and smiled. "May I walk with you?"

"I'd like that."

Gideon stopped her outside of the common room, taking her hand in his. He turned her around to face him.

"I had a great time with you today," he said softly.

She felt her cheeks color and silently cursed herself. "I did too."

Gideon smiled and brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "We should do it again sometime."

"We should..."

~

"WOOOOOO!"

Mae laughed as Sirius and James did a victory dance around the common room.

"WE WON!"

The common room was decked out in maroon and gold banners, a radio was turned up loudly somewhere, and everybody was dancing and talking excitedly.

Mae leaned over to Remus and started to say something, when a tap on her shoulder distracted her.

She turned around and looked up at Gideon, grinning down at her.

"We won," he said simply. Mae smiled and felt her stomach fill up with butterflies.

"I know. You were great, by the way," she said.

He smiled down at her for a moment, then reached down and pulled her into a kiss...

Only a few steps away, Sirius dropped his goblet...

~

"I love you, Mae-belle," he whispered softly into her ear.

She laughed and pulled away from him, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. "I told you not to call me that!"

"And I said too bad, didn't I?" he replied, pulling her close to him.

Mae glanced out her bedroom window at the stars. It's late, she thought.

"Mae?" Gideon whispered, hugging her close. "I should probably be leaving."

She felt herself stiffen slightly. She didn't want him to leave. It was just her in that big house, all by herself.

Not to mention, it felt so good to be so close to him.

"Stay," she whispered into his chest.

He hesitated, resting his cheek on her head. "I thought you were okay here by yourself."

She took a deep breath and whispered, "I still have nightmares sometimes... about their death..."

He sighed and kissed her forehead. Looking down at her, he said, "I'll sleep on the couch if it would make you feel better."

She pulled his face down to her and kissed him lightly. "I'd rather you stay in here with me," she whispered.

She felt her breathing pick up, and felt his heart beat pick up as well.

He nodded slowly. "Alright."

She gave him a small smile and pulled him around to the side of the bed. Pulling back the covers, she crawled in and motioned for him to join her.

Hesitating only briefly, he crawled in beside her. She snuggled up against him and pulled him into a long, slow kiss...

~

"You slept with him?"

"Shut up, Sirius," Mae snapped, glancing at James standing uncomfortably beside her.

Sirius furrowed his brow and suddenly stalked off down to the pond. Mae looked up at James, who was avoiding her gaze, watching Sirius walk away.

"James?" she asked tentatively. He glanced at her, but didn't make eye contact. "You alright?"

James scuffed his foot against the grass and ran a hand through his hair.

After a moment, he said quietly, "Did you know that after we broke up, he accused me of using you?" He nodded towards Sirius, now attempting to skip rocks across the pond.

Mae looked up at James curiously, who still wasn't looking at her. "Well," she began with a small smile, "you were using me to get closer to Lily."

James sighed. "That's not what I mean, Mae," he replied, exasperated.

Mae shifted uncomfortably. "Well, what do you mean?"

James hesitated, and then muttered, "Using you for a shag..."

Mae felt her eyebrows rise. "For a..." She stared at him as his cheeks colored slightly, and then barked a laugh. "That's ridiculous."

"He's very protective of you, Mae," James replied seriously, finally looking her in the eyes.

Mae hesitated and turned to watch Sirius, still skipping rocks in the pond...

~

"Mae-belle, I think it's best if we take a break..."

She knew it had been coming. They hardly got a chance to see each other since school had started back up, and he was so busy with training.

Mae nodded and looked out the grimy window of Hog's Head.

He started talking again, softly. "You're busy with your studies, and I'm training ten hours a day... we just don't have the time right now, I think."

"You're right," she said quietly, standing up from her chair and looking down at him. "It's silly to keep trying."

She turned around and stalked out of the pub...

~

"Mae? What's wrong?"

Sirius stood up when she came into the common room, slamming the portrait shut behind her. James, Remus, and Peter all looked up at her curiously as well.

"Nothing," she said defensively, flopping down on the arm of the sofa beside Peter.

The boys chose not to persist - they knew better. But Sirius stood, watching her.

When Mae caught him looking at her, she stood up, said loudly, "I'm fine!" and stalked back out of the common room.

She was walking across the grounds when she heard someone call her name. She kept walking, hoping the voice would give up.

No luck.

She stopped in front of the Whomping Willow and watched it, waiting for him to catch up to her.

"Mae," Sirius said breathlessly, finally stepping to her side. "What are you doing?"

Mae pursed her lips briefly before saying with a gesture to the trunk of the willow, "Hit the knot for me."

Sirius looked at her, confused. "Why are you going to the Shrieking Shack - "

"Just do it!" she said, feeling tears starting to well up in her eyes. She stared ahead at the slashing limbs as she felt Sirius change into a big black dog beside her. She watched as he dodged the limbs briefly, before reaching the trunk and pushing the knot.

As the limbs froze, Mae crossed over to the hole and climbed through it, Sirius following, in human form once again.

As they climbed into the shack, Sirius let the trap door slam shut. He walked up to her and asked, "What'd he do?"

Mae looked at him momentarily then climbed the steps to the little bedroom.

She wandered over to the bed and sat, staring at the floor. Sirius sat down beside her and tentatively put his arm around her.

She stiffened briefly as the tears returned, then leaned into his shoulder. "He broke up with me," she whispered.

Sirius hesitated, not sure exactly what to say. "Want me to hex him?" he asked lightly.

Mae choked a laugh, but shook her head. "He had a point, you know," she began, sitting up to look at Sirius. "He said we're both too busy, basically."

Sirius nodded. "Not to mention, he's not local, either."

Mae gave him a small smile. "No."

Sirius rubbed her back and studied her. Her curly brown hair was mussed up, her eyes red, though she hadn't actually shed a tear. She looked so sad and hurt, and all he wanted to do was take it away.

He reached up and brushed her hair out of her face. She looked up into his eyes and gave him a small smile, which he returned. Then, he leaned in and kissed her softly...

~

"Lily!" Mae called, rushing down the hallway. Lily turned around and watched Mae rush up to her.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked. Suddenly, she knew something was wrong by the look on her best friend's face. She looked paler than usual, and a little scared. "What's wrong, Mae?"

Mae sighed, glanced around at the other students wandering past them in the halls. "Not here."

Lily nodded. "Okay... here, this classroom should be empty." She put her hand on Mae's arm and pulled her into the deserted classroom. She shut the door behind her and dropped her bag onto a nearby desk. "Now, what's going on?"

Mae glanced around uneasily. "I don't know what to do... I'm late."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "You mean... late?" she asked pointedly.

Mae grimaced and nodded, brushing her hair out of her face frustratingly...

~

James moved to stand in front of the fire, across from Lily. He cleared his throat, ran his free hand through his hair, and said, "Here is to those of you who have shown me what my life is meant for. You've all given me something to fight for. I thank you for that."

He smiled around at his friends. "Cheers."

Mae took a small sip with a glance up at Sirius.

"Erm," James said suddenly. "I have something else I would like to say." He put his hand behind his back as everyone looked up at him.

He shifted nervously before saying, "I have spent six entertaining years trying to win over the heart of Miss Lily Evans, here." Lily blushed. "I've known, since our very first Potions lesson, when I knocked her book into her cauldron, that she was the woman I loved, and who one day would love me back." He paused as he walked over to her and got down on one knee.

Lily's jaw dropped slightly as he pulled a tiny velvet box from behind his back. Mae turned to look at Sirius, Remus, and Peter, each of whom looked equally surprised.

"And starting tonight, Lily," James continued softly. "I would like for your heart to belong to me forever more, just as my heart has belonged to you since the second of September 1970. Will you marry me, Lily?"

Lily had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. She shook her head 'yes' and hugged him, whispering something inaudible to those around them.

"WOOHOOO!" Sirius had leapt up from his seat. He proceeded to shout to the entire common room, "I would like to introduce to you all, the future Mr. and Mrs. James Potter!"

It seemed like everyone was laughing and smiling, hugging and kissing. In one swift movement, Sirius had pulled Mae to her feet and pulled her face to his and kissed her fiercely.

"I love you, Mae," he whispered. Mae started to smile, but stopped suddenly when she realized she couldn't say it back right then. It was the first time he had said that to her.

The moment has presented itself, she thought to herself sadly, wishing with all her heart she could simply say 'I love you, too'.

"Can we go talk, somewhere?" she whispered back...

~

"Mae?"

She opened her eyes to see James looking down at her, concern written all over his face.

"When Sirius came back downstairs, he was in a right foul mood," he said casually. "He proceeded to drink three straight glasses of Firewhiskey, then strike up a game of chess with Remus... and we all know Sirius doesn't have the patience for chess unless he's really buggered about something."

Mae sighed as more tears came to her eyes. Must be hormones, she thought.

James noticed the tears and laid down on his side next to her. "You broke up with him, I figured that much," he said softly. He reached out and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "But I have a feeling it wasn't something you wanted to do, but felt you had to."

Mae closed her eyes. She felt a tear slide down her face, and James' thumb gently wipe it away.

"You can't tell him," she whispered, opening her eyes and looking at him. He looked down at her curiously. "You cannot tell him, James," she repeated a little more strongly.

He stared at her for a moment before saying softly, "Okay."

Mae pressed her lips together and glanced away from him briefly. "Promise?" she asked, her voice cracking, in an attempt to procrastinate. She already knew he'd promised.

"I promise, Mae," he replied gently.

She took another deep breath.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered. "And it's Gideon's."

He stared at her a moment, his jaw dropping slightly. Suddenly he pulled her close to him and closed his eyes. He kissed her forehead as his gesture broke all of her control and she sobbed into his chest.

"My god, Mae," he whispered. "How could you not tell me?"

"I'm sorry," she cried in between sobs.

"Lily knows, doesn't she?" he asked.

"Yeah," she sobbed.

He held her until she stopped crying a few minutes later. "What are you going to do?"

Mae wiped her face on her sleeve. "Meet up with Gideon... and tell him," she said thickly.

"He's a good guy, he'll take care of you," he said gently. "But so would Sirius."

Mae sniffed, but didn't reply.

"Why don't you want Sirius to know?" he asked softly.

She gave him a short laugh and sighed, shaking her head. "Because... I think I love him," she whispered. "And this would hurt him."

"You can't just hide this from him forever, you know," he said gently.

"I know," she replied helplessly.

"Do you love Gideon?" he asked quietly after a moment.

"Yeah," she whispered, feeling her eyes begin to water again.

"Okay, it's alright," he whispered, hugging her again. "It'll be alright..."

Once she'd calmed down again, she sat up and wiped her face.

"You should get some sleep, love," he said quietly, rubbing her back. "I can cover for you."

"Thanks."

"Anytime, Mae," he whispered. "You know I'd do anything for you."

She smiled at him, kissed him on the cheek and watched him walk towards the door.

~

"I want to talk to you," Sirius said, grabbing Mae's arm.

She sighed and nodded. They waited for the rest of their friends to climb through the portrait hole. Mae leaned back against the corridor wall as the portrait swung shut. She looked up at Sirius.

"Mae, I don't want to end things on a bad note," he said quickly, giving her a small smile. "You've been my friend for years, a hell of a lot longer than you've been my girl, and I don't want to lose you."

Mae smiled slightly and glanced around the corridor, but didn't reply.

"Look, I don't know what's going on in your head," he continued. "I wish you'd tell me, but I'll respect your right to let me know in your own time. If you need space, I'll give you space... I meant what I said last night, you know," he added quietly. "I love you, in more ways than one. And I'll do anything for you. And if that means breaking up for a while, then so be it."

Mae looked down at the floor, trying not to let him see the tears forming in her eyes. After a moment, they were gone, and she looked up at him, smiling.

"Thank you, Sirius," she said softly.

"Of course," he replied. "Come here..." He put out his arms and hugged her briefly.

She turned around, muttered the password, and stood back to let the portrait swing open.

"Oh, and Mae?"

She turned around to see him smiling sheepishly.

"You'll always be my girl."

~

"I'm sorry about what happened on your birthday, Mae," Gideon said quietly. "I don't know how many times I've started to write to you to apologize... I've missed you so much. I was thrilled to get your invitation."

Mae smiled back at him. "I've missed you, too."

Gideon reached out a hand and touched her hair. "So what now, Mae?" he asked gently.

Mae sighed at the touch of his hand. She felt her stomach flutter, but whether it was from nerves or his touch, she wasn't sure.

"I have something to tell you, Gideon," she said quietly, her voice shaky.

He noticed the tone of her voice and sat forward, setting his wineglass down on the table beside the sofa. "What is it?"

Mae hesitated, glancing around the room. Finally, she said, barely audible, "I'm pregnant."

She watched the expression on his beautiful face go from concern to shock. She was surprised she was able to keep her tears at bay as she watched him. He stared at her for a moment before looking away, his eyes closed. He was silent for a moment.

He looked back at her. "Pregnant?" he asked, his voice shaky. She nodded. "You're sure?" She nodded again. "And... and you're sure it's mine?" He asked the last question carefully. He didn't know if she had been with anyone else since they'd broke up, but he had to ask.

Mae was slightly offended at first, but she assumed it was not worth going into her relationship with Sirius.

"I'm sure, Gideon."

He stared at her for another moment before a smile broke onto his face, surprising her. He reached forward and pulled her into a kiss. She melted into it without hesitation. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off from her, and it felt so good to be in his arms again.

She pulled away from him a moment later as the tears finally broke through. "I love you," she whispered as a tear slid down her cheek.

He looked at her tenderly and stroked her cheek. "I love you too, Mae-belle."

~

"You're avoiding me."

With a quick glance into the house behind her, Mae stepped out onto the front step and shut the door behind her quietly. She crossed her arms and looked up at Sirius, staring her down.

"You're avoiding me," he repeated, running a hand through his hair. "I've sent owls - many, many owls, and I've heard nothing back - "

"Sirius - " Mae said with a sigh.

"Not even a short and sweet 'I'm good, how are you doing, Sirius'. It's been almost two months since we left Hogwarts - "

His voice was getting louder with each word and he was fidgeting. "Then James let it slip that he and Lily were coming over here for dinner tonight - and this isn't the first time! So I thought well maybe it was time for me to just stop by - "

Mae tried to calm him down again. "Sirius - "

"No!" he barked, glaring down at her. As she caught a whiff of alcohol on his breath she sighed and rubbed her brow. "No," he started again, a little softer. "I have something to say and I'll be damned if I don't say it!"

Mae shook her head softly and looked up at him. He reached his hands out as if to grip her shoulders and said softly yet fiercely, "Mae, I love you. I want to marry you, and - and have kids with you! I want you to be the one I start my day with, look forward to coming home to, and the last person I see before I go to sleep at night. I want you - " He grabbed her shoulders and brought his face down close to hers. She shut her eyes and put her hands out to his chest to push him away, but her arms went weak. She felt tears welling up behind her eyelids.

"You're drunk," she whispered.

"I - I love you, Mae," he replied helplessly. "I love you! I don't want anyone but you - "

"Sirius," she said softly, expecting him to interrupt her again.

She looked up to him with tears in her eyes, slightly surprised that he was looking back down at her expectantly.

She took a deep breath, trying to hold her tears at bay. "I - "

They both jumped when the front door opened suddenly behind them. Mae turned around as Sirius' hands dropped from her shoulders. Gideon was standing in the doorway, glancing curiously between his fiancé and Sirius.

"Everything alright out here?" he asked.

Mae nodded and said quietly, "We're fine, I'll be in shortly."

Gideon gave her a short nod, then glanced at Sirius again before shutting the door.

Mae turned back to Sirius, his face slightly pale, his jaw dropped a little, and his eyes locked on the spot where Gideon had been seconds before.

"Sirius," Mae said quietly.

"You left me for him?" he asked quietly as his eyes wandered back to her. She shook her head and opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by him yet again, his voice a little stronger. "You left me for him? You - "

He stopped abruptly and took a step back from her. "I don't believe it! Why the bloody hell didn't you just tell me? But why the hell would you leave me for him in the first place? What the hell is going on with you?" He was yelling at that point, causing Mae to start crying. But he continued on. "And I'm the idiot standing here pouring my heart out to you - "

He stopped as he watched Mae back away from him and lean against the door, sobbing, crossing her arms across her abdomen.

He quickly followed and put his hands back on her shoulders, his face barely an inch from her own.

"Tell me what is going on with you!" he whispered fiercely, with a hint of helplessness. "If you just need to get this out of your system - tie up loose ends - have a fling - whatever - "

"Sirius," Mae choked through her sobs. He stopped and watched her curiously. "I'm pregnant."

For a moment she was unsure if he'd heard her, as he didn't react right away. Then she saw his jaw drop, and felt his hands fall from her shoulders. She winced at the look in his eyes: anger, hurt, jealousy, disbelief... She felt a sharp pain cut through her stomach.

"It's - " she began.

"It's Gideon's," he finished in a whisper.

Mae nodded, tears rolling down her face.

After a moment, Sirius said quietly, "You left me because you're having his child."

Mae nodded slowly, unable to meet his gaze.

"You - you're having his child," he whispered.

Mae winced again as yet another pain hit her. She leaned her head against the door and looked up at him through tears, her heart racing.

He shook his head slightly and stumbled back a few steps then turned around and walked down the path to the front gate.

"Sirius," she sobbed as she watched him vanish.

Suddenly another sharp pain stabbed her abdomen, one that raked throughout her entire body. She cried out and doubled over in pain, sliding down the door to sit on the steps.

She reached up for the doorknob, but couldn't reach, so she hit the door with her open hand, hoping someone would hear. Lightheaded, she caught a spot of red forming on her white skirt.

She felt weaker with each wave, which began coming quicker. She caught a glimpse of Gideon's pale, worried face just before everything went dark.

~

"What do you think about orchids?" Mae asked from the kitchen table, flipping through a wedding magazine.

Gideon came up behind her and leaned down, wrapping his arms around her. "Orchids for what?"

"For the centerpieces."

"Ah," he said softly into her ear. "I told you already, whatever you want, love."

Mae tried to hide a smile as he kissed her neck. "And I told you it's dangerous to let me run wild with the wedding plans."

He chuckled and sat down beside her, taking hold of one of her hands. She looked up at him curiously.

Gideon smiled nervously. "Mae," he began, hesitating. "I've been thinking..."

He looked up into her eyes and chuckled. She almost looked worried. "I've been thinking that - that I'd like to have a baby. I would like to try again."

He watched her, concerned as she sat back in her chair, a strange expression on her face. "I wish I could read you mind right now," he teased. "I know that what happened last time hurt. I know. But the Healers said that there is no reason not to try again."

He paused and squeezed her hand. "What do you think?"

Expression came back to her face. She smiled at him softly and replied, "I'd like that."

Gideon nodded, smiling back at her. She laughed suddenly and threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.

"Say," he whispered in her ear lightly. "I don't have to be to work for another hour... we could get a head-start..."

Mae pulled back and grinned mischievously.

~

Mae paced up and down the length of the kitchen, down the hall, peeked out the sitting room window, and back down to the kitchen.

He should have been back by now, she thought, glancing at her watch, and then checking it against the clock on the wall. She grabbed her cigarettes off the counter and lit one shakily.

He always let her know if he was going to be late.

She huffed angrily and stormed back out into the sitting room. She reached into the little pouch on top of the mantle -

No, she thought. I'm not supposed to call Dumbledore...

I'm not supposed to call anyone. I'm not supposed to even know anything is going on tonight...

She pulled her hand out of the pouch and stared into the fire. She didn't know what to do. She knew there was no way she could fall asleep without hearing from him.

She sighed and paced around the sitting room once more before sitting down on the edge of the sofa. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down.

Not working, she thought after a moment, opening her eyes. The fire was flickering softly, casting strange shadows around the room. It was unnerving.

She stood up quickly and lit every candle in the sitting room. Better, she thought. Not so many shadows...

She glanced at the old grandfather clock before heading over to the liquor cabinet.

Two hours and thirteen minutes... late...

She rummaged through the cabinet before finally deciding on an old bottle of Muggle vodka they had picked up in London a few months before. She poured herself a glass and sat back down on the sofa.

She had enjoyed the taste of it so much that she preferred to sip it straight. It had a plain taste, but she knew it would do the trick. She could drink it like water...

Beep, beep, beep...

She stood up quickly and ran to the window, peering through the glass at the figure now standing in front of her door, knocking.

He wouldn't be knocking, she thought worriedly. But she knew it was someone she could trust since they had made it through the spells, curses, and jinxes leading to the door.

She walked over to the door and opened it to reveal Dumbledore, hooded and weary-looking.

She felt her heart racing and her stomach twisting.

"Albus?" she whispered, staring up at him.

He stepped into the foyer and shut the door behind him, pulling back his hood. "Let's sit down, Mae," he said gently, gesturing towards the sitting room.

Mae shook her head jerkily. "No - is - is he okay?" she choked.

"Mae - "

"Is he okay, Albus?" she asked, a slightly hysterical tone in her voice.

Dumbledore sighed. "I'm so sorry, Mae," he replied quietly, watching her carefully.

She stared at him a moment before laughing nervously and shaking her head. She wouldn't believe him. She couldn't believe him.

She backed away slowly and turned away from him when the tears started.

"They were outnumbered... greatly," Dumbledore's voice said gently. "But they fought valiantly."

Mae put her hand over her mouth and fell to the sofa.

Beep, beep, beep...

Dumbledore turned away from Mae as the door burst open. Mae jumped and stared.

"I just heard," Sirius gasped, glancing at Dumbledore before striding over to Mae. "Oh, Mae," he whispered, pulling her close to him as she began sobbing harder. "I'm so sorry..."

Dumbledore watched for a moment before saying softly, "I'm sorry, but I must be going. There are other's I need to see about what happened tonight. Sirius, would you stay with her?"

"Of course," he replied, stroking Mae's hair as she continued to cry into his shirt.

Dumbledore nodded. "Thank you, Sirius." He paused at the door before turning back and saying loud enough for Mae to hear. "His death was not in vain. He and the others will be remembered as heroes. Gideon Prewett sacrificed himself for the good of our world... He did his job so that we could continue to do ours..."

~

Remus smiled down at her. "Where have you been all day, Mae?"

"Reminiscing..."