The Marauders

Chapter 6

The rest of that day Sirius said nothing. He avoided Kira when possible and refused to look at her during classes. No longer did he socialize in the common room after dinner, but fled to his dormitory to brood. His hatred for Snape was swiftly replaced with depression every time he thought of Kira. When he glimpsed them together, he could feel his heart break again. The pain was unbearable. Yet even during his most miserable moments, a fire would awaken deep inside. Snape's face would swim into view and he would focus all his attention on his vengeance.

He spent hours that night in the Restricted Section of the library hunting for the perfect curse. Hundreds of gruesome spells poured forth from the books like an overfilled cauldron, yet none satisfied his lust for revenge.

James and Lily knew nothing of his plight, nor of his plans. They were occupying the day, between classes, with romps in the snow and hushed conversations in the nearly deserted common room. James, as usual didn't pay attention in class, but daydreamed about Lily and wrote the occasional love note to her.

Kira, however, noticed him. She knew she had made a rash decision, but the mistake wasn't one she wanted to rectify just yet. Sirius had to learn when to quit- when to keep his mouth shut. During lunch, she sat at the Gryffindor table, just opposite Snape at the Slytherin table. Despite her location, her gaze was always on Sirius.

Once, she met his gaze, for no longer than a few seconds. Her insides turned to ice and a lump rose in her throat. Her stomach clenched and an overpowering wave of guilt crashed over her. His eyes were pools of pain- pain that she had caused; pain to which there was no medicine.

A touch on Kira's hand pulled her out of the depths of his eyes.

"Are you okay? You look like you're about to cry."

Severus' brow creased in concern. Her gaze flickered back to Sirius, who had turned sullenly back to his food. Severus followed her gaze. His hand pulled back and she turned back to him.

"You love him, don't you," he said, his voice icy.

"No, Sev, I..." she pleaded as he withdrew further.

"Figure it out, Kira. It's me or him. You can't have us both."

He stood and stalked out of the Great Hall.

Kira's face turned pale at the sound of Lily's words echoed by Snape. She started after Severus's retreated back. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Sirius glance at her, a grim expression veiling the hurt she had seen before. His eyes flickered with hatred as Severus passed him.

It took her a moment to decide. She'd made a choice and she couldn't go back on that. A promise was a promise. Kira pushed he plate back and stood. With each step her pace quickened. As she neared Sirius, she slowed, but swallowed resolutely and straightened her gaze, hurrying to catch Severus.

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Sirius sighed heavily and returned to his Astronomy assignment.

New moon last night, quarter moon... Oh, this is hopeless. I should have done this yesterday.

As always, Sirius regretted procrastinating his work. He continued filling in the moon chart and stopped when he reached the next full moon: December __, the day of the ball.

Remus...

"Remus mate," he said, "sorry to interrupt your lunchtime stare-down with Enna, but you might want to see this."

Remus shifted his attention to Sirius.

"Sure, what's up?"

Sirius slid the chart across the table to him and Remus's face fell, the color draining slightly.

"Joy. Rapture," he said sarcastically, his head dropping to the table with a thud.

"What's wrong?" Enna asked, leaving over to see the chart. She raised an eyebrow, obviously not seeing the problem. Sirius pointed.

"Oh." The news had a similar effect on her. Then her face broke into a smile and she sat up straight.

"Remus, don't worry. I'll go with you. Sirius, you and James go to the dance. I'll--"

"Be killed if you try. It was a miracle you weren't mauled the other night! Enna, it's way too dangerous. I won't have it," Remus urged.

"Any human near Remus on a full moon is like a meal on two legs," Sirius added.

Enna snickered, and Remus blushed.

"Oh, grow up. You know what I meant."

Enna struggled to regain her composure. When she had, she retorted, "Then I won't be human."

"Wha...? No, you don't mean--"

"Teach me. Teach me to become an animagus."

Her eyes burned and her heart thudded in anticipation.

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I'm going to become and animagus. I can't believe it! They're actually going to teach me...

Enna practically skipped to class. It had taken a bit of convincing, mostly because of Sirius. By the end, he said he'd talk to James and tell her tomorrow. She had high hopes- especially since she knew Sirius would need something to concentrate on to keep his mind off Kira.

Enna still wasn't quite sure Kira has made the right choice. For on, Sirius had been so hopeful, and now... to be perfectly blunt, she's broken his heart. On a more personal level, she'd been avoiding Sirius, and consequently the rest of them had been ignored as well.

I'll talk to her tonight. Someone has to talk to her.

Professor Rizia had to shout to calm the students down. Everyone was riled up in light of the coming break. Everyone, that is, except two. Kira and Sirius were grim, a solemn thorn in the side of the merry bustle and chatter of the class.

Once thing had quieted some, Professor Rizia collected the homework. As she did, conversations broke out again and she sighed in submission.

"Alright, everyone, settle down!" she cried. Silece fell and just as the talking ceased, the classroom doors swung open and James and Lily tumbled in, red-faced and winded.

James' shirt was half untucked and his hair was more tousled than usual. His tie was crooked and, although only noticed by a select few, his zipper was quite conspicuously down. He mumbled and apology and plopped down in his seat.

Lily was in just as bad of shape as James. Her normally tidy appearance was completely disheveled. Ginger hair was fly away and frizzy. Her robe hung half off her shoulder and her skirt was askew. While her cheeks were flushed from running, she was also blushing brightly. She too mumbled an apology, handed in her homework, and slid into her seat.

Enna looked appalled. Remus wore a bemused expression, and the rest of the class had broken out into excited whispers scattered with sniggers from most of the guys and quite a few of the girls. The noise grew louder, and finally Professor Rizia threw up her hands and cried, "I GIVE UP!" She walked to her desk, calmly sat down, and proceeded to plop her head on the desk and await the end of class.

"What on earth were you two doing?!" Enna inquired of Lily, her eyes wide.

"Nothing, Enna. Nothing at all..." Lily slid off into her own world, a smirk adding to Enna's fear. Her eyes narrowed with suspicion.

"Lillian Evans!" Enna's voice rose. Lily continued to smirk.

Kira let a small smile grace her features for a mere second before returning to her previous gloom. Sirius raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Lucky bastard he thought.

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The common room was a hive of activity that night. Teachers had started assigning loads of homework and the more ambitious Gryffindors were attempting a head start. Others played Wizard's Chess or sat and chatted. Lily and James were cuddling near the fireplace with Remus and Enna opposite them, doing the same. Sirius sat in the third armchair writing a potions essay.

He was just looking up the length of bat intestines used for the Morto Vampyre potion when the portrait hole opened and Kira walked in. She glanced at Sirius and turned pale, then bee lined for her dormitory.

Sirius turned back to his essay, but his mind floated elsewhere. After he realized he had read the same three words seven times without understand a word of it, he packed up and went to his room. He didn't know what he was going to do there, maybe sleep or think, but he knew he wanted to be alone for a while.

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The morning sun beamed in on Sirius's face. He had fallen asleep fully clothed, on top of the covers, with the curtain open. He felt refreshed somehow- gloomy, but refreshed, as if he'd just had a very good night's sleep.

Funny, I don't even remember being that tired.

Thursday followed as Wednesday- an air of gloom hung over Sirius and Kira, and little things went wrong for them. Kira melted her cauldron twice in Potions, and Sirius had to take a trip to the hospital wing when the second time left him with pus filled boils all over his left hand. Kira apologized several times, but Sirius said nothing. She was hurt, but didn't comment. I deserve it.

The day passed and Friday morning dawned anew. Sirius's mood had become routine by now, and things were just expected to go wrong for him. It was the last day of school, and he was in competition with Kira for the gloomiest disposition.

Late that night the boys sat in their beds talking. Remus and James discussed Christmas break.

"We can play a bit of Quidditch. Sure, it'll be cold, but it's nothing a hot mug of butterbeer can't fix, eh Padfoot?" James edged.

"Sure, whatever you guys say." Sirius lay covered up, staring straight up at the canopy above his head.

"Sirius you gotta let her go, mate. Things are going to happen like this, and you're going to turn into a miserable toad if you turn into a depressing lump every time a girl dumps you!" Remus scolded, assuming the reason for his woes.

"Dumped? Dumped, Remus? I didn't even get that far! Compared to this, I think I would have loved to be dumped by her, because then I could have at least enjoyed what time we had together. But no, I had to go and fuck things up with my bloody big mouth, and now there's no chance of ever being with Kira. Zip, nada, none. We were never a couple. We'll never be a couple. And to make matters worse, she stares at me constantly. It's torture, absolute torture, seeing the girl of your dreams sitting with the slimeball of the school, talking with the scum of the earth, eating with that slug Snivellus. Insult to injury, salt on the wound, pick your cliché. They all fit. Not only that, you two sit there and snog the bloody hell out of your "significant others" in the middle of the fucking common room! Have you no sense of privacy? GET A FUCKING ROOM. It's not the scene of a British porno here- there's plenty of empty rooms where you can mack on whatever girl you like, just don't do it in front of me, okay? You guys are supposed to be my mates, then start acting like it, would you?!"

By now Sirius was standing, breathing hard, his face red. James and Remus were dumbstruck. Words failed them both as Sirius sat there fuming like a smoldering log.

"Sirius, I didn't realize..." James started.

"Of course you didn't. You were too busy--"

"For Merlin's sake, Sirius, just shut up, would you?! You got to rant. He was only trying to apologize! You never know when to quit, do you? That's what pushed her, wasn't it? You insulted Snape until to spite you, she agreed to go with him. Merlin, Sirius, are you that dense? Are you so thick that you haven't noticed how she looks at you? James and I noticed. Lily and Enna noticed. Hell, I bet even Snape noticed. She's every bit as miserable as you are, and you're so bigoted that you can't even recognize that. You deserve to be miserable. Do you hate him so much that you're willing to risk losing an incredible girl like Kira? Pull yourself together, Sirius, and go apologize to her, or to him. Do whatever it takes. If you're so fucking miserable without her, then do something about it! Don't sit on your ass and moan about it, because the only thing that accomplishes is to drive the rest of us completely bonkers."

Now it was Sirius's turn to be stunned into silence. James was surprised too- Remus was usually the level-headed one of the group. Rarely did they hear him respond so, and never at one of them.

"He's right, Sirius. Stop with the self-pitying routine and go say something to her. She and Lily went to the Room of Requirement earlier to finish up that potions essay. Why don't you go and see if they're still there?" James suggested. He was surprised how Remus-like he sounded.

Without a word, Sirius pulled on a pair of jeans over his boxers, grabbed a shirt and a sweatshirt, and strode defiantly out of the room.

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The corridors were dark and cold. Sirius was glad he'd grabbed a sweatshirt and pulled it on over his head. It was forbidding, walking in the castle this late at night. It was quiet; the only sound was that of the pictures rustling in their sleep. Something ahead meowed.

Shit. Mrs. Norris. Where's the Invisibility Cloak when you need it?

Sirius ducked behind a nearby quit of armor and waited. The whishing sound of claws on stone grew louder as the cat approached. Sirius held his breath.

Damnit, I left the map too!

In the dark, all he saw was a slightly darker blob moving toward him, slowly. He heard sniffing and he knew she had caught his scent. He pulled out his wand, the Imobilus charm on his lips in case he needed to make a run for it. Closer and closer she drew, and then stopped directly in front of the suit of armor. Again she meowed. Something was strange about her meow though. It was more... friendly, not quite as harsh. She moved forward and wrapped herself around Sirius's legs and purred.

"Lumos," he muttered and the tip of his wand lit up, illuminated a 2 foot circle around him. The cat meowed again.

"Crookshanks," Sirius sighed with relief, "What are you doing out here? Did you get locked out of the tower? C'mon then, we'll go find Kira together."

He picked up the orange fur ball and Crookshanks clambered up to perch on his shoulder as he again stepped towards the Room of Requirement.

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Lily, Enna, and Kira sat around a roaring fireplace in the Room of Requirement. Kira sat on the couch with her knees tucked up to her chest and she had her chin resting on them. Lily and Enna had taken two of the chairs and looked expectantly at Kira. Not a word was spoken for quite a while, and the atmosphere had developed an awkward ringing in the silence.

Enna coughed expectantly. Lily raised an eyebrow, never taking her eyes from Kira's stony face. Enna coughed again.

"Could you guys just let me be for a while?" Kira snapped.

"Kira, we let you alone and now you've gone a screwed everything up," Enna retorted.

"Me? Me? What is it with you people? How am I getting the blame for this? And why is there anything to blame for?! It was a simple choice; I made mine, end of story, check please!" Kira blurted, her voice rising in pitch and volume.

"It's not that easy, Kira. You know it isn't anywhere near that simple. If you go through with this, you know things will never be the same. You'll become an outcast, not only with Sirius, but Gryffindors in general, and Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs. It's already spreading around that you're a Slytherin Sympathizer. Enna and I have tried to calm things down, saying that you're just doing it to pull an elaborate prank on him after the dance, but I don't think people are buying. Sirius is too upset," Lily informed her.

Kira became fascinated with her toes at the mention of Sirius.

"Have you seen him? He's a mess. And so are you, in case you haven't bothered to pay any attention. The two of you are in a right state. You're both distracted; sneaking glances at each other when you think the other's not looking, silently crying yourselves to sleep."

"I don't--" Kira objected

"You do. And you cry in your sleep," Enna confirmed.

"I don't want you guys getting involved with this! There are too many people involved as it is... I chose Severus, that's the end of it! Let it die, please!"

"Why did you accept? I never got that part of the story."

The color rose in Kira's cheeks. "Why? Because Sirius is a cocky, egotistical prat who doesn't have any interest in me. All he cares about is making Snape's life miserable, and I'm not going to be his pawn!" Kira shouted heatedly.

"You're willing to let your and Sirius's friendship die because he got a little cocky?" Lily said incredulously, "Listen, Kira, I almost made that mistake with James. I thought he was just concerned with his image and wanted me just to show off. But you know, he truly cares about me. He's just a guy, and the number one thing every girl must know about guys is that they can never express themselves properly the first time. Something always happens to screw it up. You just have to give them a second chance."

"He doesn't deserve a second chance." Kira said coldly.

"Just answer me this one question, Kira, and Enna and I will take care of the rest."

"No, Lily I don't want--"

"Kira, do you love Sirius?"

"Wait, I--"

"Just answer the question, Kira."

"It's not--"

"Yes or no. No maybes, no buts, just yes or no. It's that simple."

"No, it's not--"

"Kira! Answer me, do you love Sirius?"

"I..."

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