Harry Potter and the Taming of the Shrew

Chapter One

Hermione Granger stormed through the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. People sidestepped to give her room to pass. If they didn't, she merely shouldered them out of the way. Despite the fast that Hermione had once been one of the most popular girls in school, she now took pride in being what no one else wanted her to be. So instead of the hair that she had once tried to tame, she left it to its own devices, which actually didn't look so bad. Her robes were a little too long, and the hems were starting to tatter. The only thing that had stayed the same was her marks. Her need to excel still ruled out over her newfound rebelling.

An unfortunate third year stumbled into her path of destruction, and Hermione nearly tripped over him. The boy cowered in front of her as she glared down at him, brown eyes flashing. "Hey," she snapped. "Watch where you're going." The kid scrambled away from her and she continued on her way.

Lavender Brown appeared at her side from a nearby classroom. Under her arm she had tucked a copy of William Shakespeare's King Lear. She had a strange obsession with the dead play master, and Hermione had no want to figure out how that had happened.

"Can you believe this?" she asked, gesturing towards an enchanted poster on the wall, advertising the traditional Seventh Years Dance. "It's such a stupid reason to gather around and get smashed."

"This is a school," Lavender reminded her. "We're not allowed to drink."

"Not the point." The brunette stalked back to where the poster hung, stared at it for a moment, and then ripped it down from its place. Lavender raised her eyebrows.

"Vandalism," she stated.

"So sue me," Hermione shot back, stuffing the poster into a nearby garbage can.

Ron Weasley shifted uncomfortably in his chair. The professor before him wasn't even talking to him; she was elegantly writing something on the scroll in front of her. He tried to see what it was, but she tucked it into a drawer before he could read any of it.

"Ronald Weasley," she said, peering down onto the paper he held out to her. He realized that he wasn't even sure of the professor's name. His green eyes scanned the desk, and they landed on a small plaque that read Professor Trelawney. He directed his attention back to her. "I'm sure that you won't find Hogwarts much different than Salem," she said. Ron was an American wizard whose parents had moved to England over the summer. "You've got the same juvenile delinquents everywhere." Ron's mouth dropped open.

"What?" he squeaked. "Are you...I..." he stammered, completely confused. But Professor Trelawney smiled back at him as if she hadn't said a word.

"Here's your schedule," she added, handing him a sheet of parchment. "Now off you go." But Ron was still totally lost.

"I don't think that..." She cut him off effectively.

"Scoot!" she demanded. He pushed himself out of his chair and hurriedly rushed from the room, running smack into a tall black-haired boy on his way out. The boy stared down at him for the second that Ron stayed put. Then he was off and running. This school was nuts.

Hermione found herself in Potions. Again. Professor Snape stood at the front of the room, blabbering on and on about whatever potion they would be doing next. She paid attention, but just enough to come up with a question to bug him.

"Any questions?" the professor asked. Without even glancing at her raised hand, he continued. "Ms. Granger?"

"So the Starjump Potion doesn't work on cats?" she asked angelically. Snape glared at her from his desk.

"No, Ms. Granger. And if you had been listening to my lecture, you would know that not only does the Starjump Potion not work on cats, it does not work on dogs, mice, horses, or any other animal. Humans only." Hermione smiled as if this was a huge enlightenment. Lavender snickered from behind her hand at the desk next to her.

"Any other questions, preferably from students who are actually interested in this class?" Snape asked. From near the back, Draco Malfoy raised his hand. Hermione shot him a death glare.

"You never did say how long the potion lasts for," Draco stated calmly under the heat of her look.

"Three hours, not a second more, not a second less," Snape said. "Five points to Slytherin for a good question." Now that ticked her off. Hermione was about to point out the unfairness of it all when Snape announced that class was over. She slouched from the room, Lavender at her side.

"Hey, Hermione," a voice from their left called. Briefly recalling that all evil came from the left, she looked up to meet Draco's cold gray eyes. "I thought you were over the whole grunge look. I guess I was wrong."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Draco," she answered soothingly. "I'm sure that one day you might be able to find a girl who actually likes you, and you won't have to go after me anymore." Draco's eyes narrowed.

"That's already done. Your sister..."

"Leave my sister alone," Hermione snapped. "Leave her alone or I'll break every bone in your body."

"I'd like to see you try," he replied, his infamous smirk already crossed his pale face.

"Me too. It'll be fun," Hermione snarled before pushing past him, towing Lavender Brown behind her.

Ron found the person he was supposed to be looking for; a shorter, somewhat rounder guy who went by the name Neville Longbottom. He was going to show him around Hogwarts and make sure he didn't get lost. Still, Ron wasn't quite sure if he liked his well being being placed in the hands of a person who looked about three years younger than he really was.

"See, our staircases move," Neville was explaining. "But really, that's not what you should be looking out for."

"Yeah, actually, it is. I'll get lost if it moves while I'm on it."

"Don't worry. They always move back. And there's more than one way to get to where you want to go. But that's not the point. Look out for the Slytherin's." Ron tried to tell him that he had no idea what a Slytherin was, so how could he look out for them, but now Neville was pointing at the portrait they had approached. The woman inside of it eyed Ron warily. "This is the Gryffindor common room. Just tell her the password..."

"I'm the Fat Lady," the woman in the portrait said, smiling. He wondered if she actually minded people calling her that.

"And it opens," Neville finished. "Strawberry jam." The frame swung towards them, almost knocking Ron off his feet. "Watch out for that one," Neville warned him. They climbed through the hole and into a room decorated with red and gold. Ron looked around him for a moment, then was determined to ask what a Slytherin was, when he got distracted.

A pretty girl flounced down from the staircase on the right side of the common room. Her short brown hair bobbed around her face, which was set in one of the prettiest smiles Ron had ever seen. Neville caught the direction of his eyes and shook his head.

"She's not worth it," he started. Ron waved his hands at him.

"Who's that?" he demanded, eyes glued to the girl.

"Candace Granger. A fifth year that has every guy in every year wanting her."

"Add me to the list," Ron breathed.

"I'm telling you buddy," Neville tried again. "You won't get anywhere with her. She's got a thing for Draco Malfoy, and besides, even if she didn't, she's not allowed to date."

"What?" Ron asked, finally tearing his gaze away from the gorgeous figure in front of him to stare at Neville in shock. "What are you talking about?"

"The Granger sisters. They're not allowed to date until they leave Hogwarts. Everyone knows that. Not like it affects her sister any."

"She has a sister?" Ron perked up. If she was anything like Candace...

"Yes. And don't get in her way. She hexed this Ravenclaw last year for accidentally running into her and scattering her papers all over the floor. The poor guy got sent to the hospital wing with little bat wings coming out of his face." Ron raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Wow." But then he turned back towards Candace. "Just wait," he told no one in particular. "I'll find a way."