Independent Thinker

Independent Thinker

He was gripping her arm so tightly that Millicent was afraid he'd cut off her circulation. She was almost as tall as Professor Snape, but his stride was so long and his pace so quick that she was having trouble keeping up.

A flick of his wand opened up the doors to his office in the dungeons and they stepped inside. He then practically flung her into a chair, pacing in front of her menacingly. For the first time in quite a while, Millicent felt a chill of fear.

"Explain what you have done," said Professor Snape dangerously, his eyes flashing.

Millicent simply glared back at her professor, saying nothing.

Professor Snape stalked behind his desk and sat down. "Miss Bulstrode, you are now facing expulsion from this institution. Speak or leave this office immediately."

She mumbled something under her breath.

"In English, Miss Bulstrode."

"I was just getting back at them!" yelled Millicent, her frustration bubbling over.

In the silence that followed, Snape's eyes narrowed slightly. "'I was just getting back at them," mocked Snape. "Forgive me, Miss Bulstrode, but if you wish to remain a student at this school, I will need more information than that."

Millicent realized that she had been breathing loudly through her nose. She took a deep breath and started from the beginning. "Some Gryffs tried to hurt me," said Millicent in a low voice.

"How so?"

"They charmed my broom so I'd fall."

"Who did you inform of this activity?" asked the professor sharply.

"No one," muttered Millicent.

"Let me see if I can summarize," said Professor Snape sarcastically. "You almost killed two Gryffindors for a stunt that you failed to report. You do understand why I'm skeptical."

"No one would have believed me," said Millicent, crossing her arms over her chest. "McGonagall hates me."

"That's Professor McGonagall, Miss Bulstrode," snapped Professor Snape. "Why did you not come to me?"

Millicent shifted uncomfortably in her seat and rubbed her arm, where she was sure a bruise was forming. She had wanted to tell him, but after some consideration, decided that it wasn't worth his time. That and other reasons...

"Well?"

"I didn't want to bother you," mumbled Millicent.

"Believe me, Miss Bulstrode, I would not have accepted the Head of House duties if I wasn't willing to be, as you so eloquently put it, bothered, by my students," said Professor Snape, raising an eyebrow.

Not much phased Millicent, but the way his eyes were boring into her was making her quite uncomfortable.

"You wouldn't have been able to do anything," said Millicent grumpily. "They were Gryffs."

"I certainly could have," he shot back.

"I wanted to handle it myself."

"You're making excuses, Miss Bulstrode," said Snape, more forcefully. "Why didn't you come to me?"

"Because I don't trust you!"

Professor Snape leaned back in his chair, drumming his fingers lazily across his desk. The corners of his mouth inched upwards. "Congratulations, Miss Bulstrode. You are finally beginning to think for yourself."

Once the words had left her mouth, Millicent had expected to be ordered to pack her trunk and leave the castle immediately. The last thing that she expected was his congratulations. "I don't understand," she said weakly.

He stood up quickly from his desk, his robe sweeping behind him. "You have been a sheep your entire life," he told her. "Until this moment, I didn't think that you had an original thought in your head."

Now Millicent was truly confused. "You're pleased that I don't trust you?"

"Extremely pleased," said Professor Snape, half sitting on the front of his desk. "I would like to hear your reasons why."

"You're a Death Eater," Millicent blurted out.

"You're in Slytherin," countered Professor Snape. "According to this school's logic, you will be a Death Eater."

Millicent shook her head adamantly. "No."

"You were on the Inquisitorial Squad last year, along with Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle, all three who have aspirations to join the ranks of the Death Eaters. You do not wish to take your place among them?"

"No!" shouted Millicent, half standing up.

"Then why did you join?" asked Professor Snape quizzically.

Millicent slumped in her chair. "Professor Umbridge asked me to. No teacher had ever singled me out before," uttered Millicent helplessly. "I was probably the only student that liked her."

"Even after she threatened Potter with the Cruciatus Curse?"

"That was wrong," said Millicent seriously. She closed her eyes, remembering how scared she was, pinning Hermione Granger to the wall and watching the insanity in front of her, terrified that things were quickly tumbling out of control.

"Yet you did nothing," said Professor Snape silkily. "Why not take a stand?"

"I couldn't do anything. Not with Malfoy in the room."

"I see," said Professor Snape, running his hand thoughtfully over his chin. "So Malfoy makes all your decisions for you?"

"Of course not," scoffed Millicent. "But you don't have to be in the Common Room all the time. I do."

"So it was peer pressure," said Professor Snape.

Millicent grasped at the words. "Yes. Exactly."

"So what," asked Professor Snape, "makes you think you are strong enough to resist the pressure that will mount to have you join the Death Eaters?"

She felt like she had been slapped in the face. "I don't know," she said weakly. Millicent looked up. "Why are you doing this? Aren't you supposed to be trying to recruit me?"

Professor Snape waved his wand and a straight back chair slid across the floor to him. He turned it, sat down, facing the back of the chair, resting his arms on the top.

"Do you want me to?"

Millicent froze. From the way Professor Snape was looking at her, she couldn't tell if he was being serious or not. She didn't want to be a Death Eater. There was no glory in that life in her eyes. All she wanted was to get through the next two years of Hogwarts and get out of here so her real life could start.

Millicent looked him right in the eye. "No," she said forcefully.

"Why not?"

"I don't have to listen to this," muttered Millicent, standing up. She started towards the door. "I will not become a Death Eater."

She pressed against the door. Nothing. She tried the handle. The door wouldn't budge.

"Do you really think that we're finished here, Miss Bulstrode?" asked Professor Snape dangerously.

"Fine." Millicent went back to her chair, turned it around and mirrored his sitting position. "I don't want to be a Death Eater."

"You've been in training as a Death Eater from the moment the Sorting Hat touched your head," said Professor Snape, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"That's not true."

"You were thrilled when the Chamber of Secrets was opened," he said forcefully.

"No, I wasn't." Millicent shook her head. "People got hurt."

"You were excited when you thought Sirius Black would kill Harry Potter." His voice was rising in pitch now.

Looking down at the floor, she again shook her head.

Professor Snape slapped his hand on his knee loudly. Pointing angrily at her, he yelled, "You thought Cedric Diggory got exactly what he deserved!"

"No!" shouted Millicent. The sight of Cedric's dead body on the ground still haunted her. Tears were stinging her eyes. She stood up, pushing the chair away from her forcefully. "Stop it!"

Professor Snape stood up as well, his eyes glistening strangely. "When you heard about the battle in the Department of Mystery, you rejoiced that the Dark Lord was out in the open at last!"

Without thinking, Millicent took out her wand and pointed it straight at Professor Snape's heart. "I'm going to the Headmaster," said Millicent angrily. "I'll tell him that you're trying to recruit me."

She knew that her Hogwarts career was over the moment she brandished her wand. But damnit, she'd bring him down with her.

"Why don't we talk to him together?" asked Professor Snape without ceremony, placing his hands behind his back.

Millicent paused. The angry professor that had been in front of her was gone. "Talk to him together?" she asked in disbelief, lowering her wand.

"Assuming you're not planning on killing me," mocked the professor, with a pointed look.

Millicent felt her face flush and she hastily put her wand back in the robe.

"Follow me," said Professor Snape. She nodded meekly and obeyed.

They walked through the hallways in silence. Millicent's mind was reeling. It was taking her brain a moment to catch up. It still seemed stuck on the fact that she just threatened Professor Snape with her wand, and that in spite of that, she still seemed to be a student.

She didn't quite know what to expect. Professor Snape just taunted her, teased her and berated her. She had threatened him and accused him of being a Death Eater. She also had finally convinced herself that she would never, ever be a slave to the Dark Lord.

Her heart seemed to be slightly bigger than her chest as they approached the Headmaster's office.

"Sugar Quill," snapped Professor Snape.

The Gargoyle sprung to life and Millicent and Professor Snape stepped on to the stairs. She looked forward, acutely aware that Professor Snape was staring at her.

Once the staircase stopped moving, Millicent felt her mouth go dry. Professor Snape held the door open for her and she stepped inside.

"Ah, Millicent," said Professor Dumbledore kindly, "I'm so glad that you agreed to meet with me today." He held out his arm, indicating that she should sit down.

"I'll be just outside if I'm needed, Headmaster," said Professor Snape lightly.

She looked at him sharply. "You're not staying?"

"This is a conversation for you and the Headmaster, Miss Bulstrode." He nodded his head and left the office.

"Please sit down," said the Headmaster. "Would you like a piece of candy?"

As she sat down, visions of her father yelling at her about her weight flashed before her eyes.

"No, thank you, sir."

"Do you have any idea why you are here?"

Her gaze fell on Professor Dumbledore's withered hand. It looked much worse up close than it had when she sat at Slytherin table for the Opening Feast just a few days ago. She forced herself not to stare. "Because I don't trust Professor Snape."

"Why not?"

Millicent sighed. She was simply worn out. The Headmaster would never believe her. "Because he's a Death Eater."

"I see," said Professor Dumbledore gravely. "Did he tell you this?"

She played the conversation back in her mind. He never once came out and said that he was indeed a Death Eater. "Not exactly, sir."

"But you believe him to be?"

"All the Slytherins know that he is," said Millicent mutinously, staring out the nearby window.

"What evidence do you have of that?"

Millicent looked back at Professor Dumbledore in surprise. "Evidence?"

The Headmaster nodded.

"Student's parents...they work with him...for him..."

"Him being Lord Voldemort?" asked Professor Dumbledore, his head tilted slightly to one side.

Millicent involuntarily flinched when she heard the Dark Lord's name. "Yes," she said darkly, not wanting to say anymore. Oh, she had heard things about Professor Snape. The torture that he was famous for, the potions that he had created in service to the Dark Lord...

"Would it surprise you if I said that it was on my orders that Professor Snape rejoined the Death Eaters fifteen months ago?" asked Professor Dumbledore. He was looking at her over his half-moon spectacles and she felt so insignificant under his gaze.

She shrugged, not willing to give an answer one way or the other. Keep them guessing, her mother's voice whispered in her ear.

"Then perhaps it would surprise you if I said that Lord Voldemort believes that Professor Snape is an active member of the Order of the Phoenix on his orders?"

Millicent looked up in surprise at that. "So you believe that Professor Snape is working for you and the Dark Lord-"

"Say his name, Millicent."

She continued, ignoring his request. "And the Dark Lord believes that Professor Snape is working for him."

"Exactly."

Millicent let out an unlady like snort. "So who's right?"

"I like to believe I am," said Professor Dumbledore. "As I'm sure that Lord Voldemort likes to believe that he is."

"Could you both be wrong?" asked Millicent curiously. "Maybe he works only for himself."

"That too, is a third possibility," said Professor Dumbledore. "But we are now straying from the purpose of this visit. You are here because of your beliefs."

"Excuse me?" asked Millicent in surprise.

"You would not have been brought here if I believed you to be someone easily manipulated, Millicent," said Professor Dumbledore, nodding his head slightly, almost in tribute. "You were brought here because you do not want to become a Death Eater."

"Great," said Millicent sarcastically, slipping into a role she knew far too easily. "Give me a medal and let me go start my homework."

"I want you to think about what I have told you," the Headmaster told her. "Needless to say, I would hope that you choose to keep our conversation private."

"I have no one to tell," said Millicent suddenly, painfully aware of her lack of friends.

"Even if that's true, you and I both know that there are ways of others getting information that they should not have," said Professor Dumbledore seriously.

Millicent looked down, knowing what the Headmaster said was true.

"I will ask to speak with you again in a week, Miss Bulstrode," said Professor Dumbledore. He seemed to be watching her intently for any sign of a reaction. Millicent wouldn't give him one. She simply stared back at him. "At that time, you will have two choices. You can refuse. If you do, I will not ask to speak to you again. Or you could accept.

"I hope that you will be willing to listen to what I have to say."