Harry Potter and the Serpent's Tongue

"Come on, boy, hurry up and get in the car," Uncle Vernon's gruff voice demanded.

Harry sighed and reluctantly complied. Dudley wanted a puppy for his birthday. Aunt Petunia didn't really want a dog in the house, but if Dudders wanted one, then by Jove, Dudders would get one. They hadn't really wanted to drag Harry along, of course, but as Mrs Figg had broken her leg, they couldn't get another sitter on short notice, so they reluctantly took him along.

"Now remember to behave, boy. No funny business at the pet shop!" Uncle Vernon told him, shaking a fat finger at him meaningfully before turning to start the car.

Harry stared out the car window silently during the drive over and climbed out again quietly once they had arrived, content to be ignored for the moment as the Dursleys doted over Dudley. The pet shop was large and crowded with pets of every shape and color waiting for homes, but what immediately drew Harry's attention was the row of snakes on the left hand side.

"Oh, look, more kids. I hope the fat one doesn't squish me."

"I'm bored. I hate being in this stupid cage."

"I wonder when they're going to feed me another mouse?"

Harry glanced about the room tentatively as he approached the snakes. Nobody else gave any sign that they could hear the snakes talking. He was sure he must have been imagining things at first, but he could hear them as clearly as he could hear Aunt Petunia speaking with Dudley over with the puppies.

"Do you want a cute ickle beagle, Duddykins?" Aunt Petunia was saying.

"No, no, I want a real dog."

Harry walked up closer to the snakes, peering thoughtfully over the different colors and varieties offered for sale here. After glancing about to make sure nobody was nearby, he said to them quietly, "Hello, snakes."

"Hi, human," replied one of them, a snake with orange patterned scales and about half a meter long.

"This may sound like a stupid question,"

Harry said tentatively, "but can't anyone else hear you? The other humans, I mean."

"Nah,"

the snake replied. "You're the first one I've seen that could."

"That must get awfully lonely, even if there's other snakes about. Nice to meet you, anyway. My name is Harry. Do you have a name?"

"I call myself Thissa,"

the snake told him.

The sign in front of Thissa's cage indicated that the snake was a juvenile corn snake, originating from North America, and non-venomous. Harry glanced about. On the other side of the shop, Dudley was looking at a young Irish Wolfhound, and Harry wondered how they'd ever manage to deal with having such a large dog in the house when it grew up, if he got it. Harry highly doubted that they would allow him to get a pet snake, unfortunately.

Aunt Petunia was telling Dudley, "If you don't like any of the dogs here, we could always talk to Aunt Marge about it and see if she has any puppies she'd be willing to let go at the moment."

Harry wasn't sure if it was accidental or if Dudley had intentionally let the dogs loose, but he suddenly found three young, fierce-looking dogs running toward him barking, the Irish Wolfhound, a bulldog, and a Rottweiler. Crash! There were suddenly sounds of shattering glass, cages abruptly flying open, and animals flying loose and scattering. Harry stumbled back in surprise, knocking over a bird cage and sending it clattering to the floor. His vision was obscured by the flapping wings of budgies, and he hardly noticed the feeling of a snake slithering up his trousers and coiling around his ankle.

As patrons panicked and the pet shop workers scrambled to try to get the animals under control again, Uncle Vernon's voice bellowed, "HARRY! IN THE CAR! RIGHT NOW!"

Harry didn't need to be told twice, nor even bother to question why he was being blamed for the incident. Dodging past the other customers (many of whom were quickly leaving also), he made his way back to the car and got inside to quietly wait for the Dursleys to exit as well. He hoped nobody of them noticed the slight bulge in his trousers where Thissa remained calmly coiled up, and for once in his life was grateful for Dudley's oversized hand-me-downs. He hadn't exactly been trying to smuggle the snake out, and he wondered what the Dursleys would do when they found out about it.

The Dursleys emerged from the chaotic pet shop shortly after, conspicuously lacking a puppy. Dudley was shaken up and near tears about it, and Aunt Petunia promised to buy him two extra presents on the way home to make up for it. The minute they got back to Number Four, Privet Drive, Uncle Vernon sent Harry to his cupboard without supper and locked him in.

Sighing a bit, Harry leaned back against the wall and pulled up the leg of his trouser to reveal the young corn snake patiently waiting there. "So why'd you come with me?" Harry asked quietly, afraid that the Dursleys might hear him. "Not, mind, that I'm complaining. But how are you going to get fed and such?"

"Oh, you have any idea how boring it is at that pet shop?" Thissa replied, loosening its firm but gentle grip from around Harry's ankle and crawling up around his arm. "Sure, they fed us regularly, but it was all looking at the same walls all day long, and stupid humans coming in and out, and certainly none of them could understand us or speak with us like you can."

Harry had always known he was a bit different from other boys. Besides Uncle Vernon making it a point to frequently tell him how "abnormal" he was, strange things occasionally happened around him without explanation, and if the Dursleys found out about them, they would punish him. But none of them had been quite so blatant and undeniable as this one.

"I hate you tell you this, but I spend entirely too much time stuck in this cupboard for my own liking, too,"

Harry replied.

"Bah, I'm sure that'll change sooner or later,"

Thissa assured him. "Maybe I can help?"

"How could you help?"

Harry wondered, frowning a little. He fondly ran a finger along Thissa's patterned scales, thinking that it really was a beautiful snake. "And, um, sorry for asking, but are you a he or a she?"

"I am female,"

Thissa said. "Your guardians did seem to be most unhappy with you. I wonder, do they not like snakes?"

Harry smirked faintly as he imagined their likely reaction. "They'd go spare if they saw you. They probably wouldn't even realize you're not poisonous." He frowned thoughtfully as he considered the possibilities. They'd certainly be angry, he thought, but maybe they'd be more frightened of the snake than angry and would give where they normally wouldn't?

"Well, you should try it. What could possibly go wrong?"

Thissa suggested. "Well, worse than being stuck in a cage like an animal at a pet shop in the first place, that is."

"That's a point, I suppose,"

Harry admitted.

Several hours later, Aunt Petunia opened the cupboard and shoved in a plate of scraps from the table without even looking inside to notice the snake, and closed the door again quickly. At least this time she did not lock the door.

Although they were clearly angry at him again, perhaps most of the ensuing chaos had been the doing of the dogs getting loose. That was what he told himself, at any rate. Even though they punished him for it regardless, he was sure he'd gotten off lighter than if it hadn't been plausibly deniable that it wasn't entirely his fault.

Keeping Thissa with him wherever he went, it wasn't long before someone noticed the snake. "Mom!" Dudley said accusingly. "Harry's got something!"

Aunt Petunia came to take a closer look, already prepared to punish Harry for whatever it was he must have done wrong this time. "Oh, my goodness," she said. "A snake!" She proceeded to faint dead away.

Uncle Vernon stormed into the kitchen upon hearing her outcry. "Boy!" he bellowed. "What are you doing with that--that--thing? You stole it from the pet shop, didn't you?" He leaned over to look at Aunt Petunia in concern, grabbing a newspaper and waving it at her in an attempt to revive her. After a few moments, Aunt Petunia came around again, then quickly vacated the kitchen.

Uncle Vernon promptly sent him to the cupboard again, and his punishment this time was much longer than just the incident in the pet shop had warranted. He called the pet shop to ask about their missing snake, but they had said that they were not missing any snakes. Harry wondered if they had just miscounted or if they had forgotten about Thissa entirely. The Dursleys shortly brought home a pet bulldog for Dudley, who was upset about Harry having a pet, and while Thissa did not stop them from ordering Harry around as usual, they didn't dare get close enough to touch him or try to take the snake away from him.

They eased up on him a bit with the dog around, at least. Aunt Petunia became all the more flustered each time it made a mess all over her immaculate house to pay attention to him. Harry was glad for the respite, however temporary it might turn out to be. When Dudley wasn't within earshot, Aunt Petunia complained more about the puppy than anything else, including Harry.

Then, one day, the Dursleys sent him to get the mail and he found a letter plainly addressed to him, even including his cupboard, which seemed strange. He delivered the other items, a postcard and a bill, to Uncle Vernon, and proceeded to see about opening the strange, yellow envelope, wondering who might be writing to him.

"And what have you got there, boy?" Uncle Vernon said when he saw what Harry was doing. "Give me that." He reached over and tried to snatch the envelope out of his hands.

Thissa's head darted out at Uncle Vernon and she hissed, "Don't you dare touch him." Uncle Vernon involuntarily took a step back and almost tripped over the dog. He may not be able to understand what the snake said, but the intent was clear.

"It's my letter," Harry replied defiantly. "They were writing to me." He continued to open the envelope, stepping well out of easy reach of his uncle as he did so.

"It must have been a mistake," Uncle Vernon insisted. "No one would be writing to you." He gazed at Thissa as if considering trying to risk it, but one flick of the snake's tongue made him think better of it. Making a sound halfway between a grumble and a growl, he made as if to shrug it off and went back to sit down and read the newspaper.

Harry stepped out into the hall to pull out his letter and read it over. He stared at it in disbelief and confusion for several long minutes. It said that he'd been accepted to "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." Perhaps Uncle Vernon had been right. It must have been addressed by mistake, or was just some bizarre practical joke being played on him by one of the kids from school. He read over it again, and a third time, before finally rolling his eyes and sighing, folding it up and tucking it away in a pocket.

When he wandered back into the kitchen, Uncle Vernon said to him, almost casually, "What was that letter about, boy?"

"Nothing important," Harry replied a bit dejectedly. "It was probably just some kids from school playing a prank on me."

"Figured as much," Uncle Vernon snorted, then proceeded to return to his routine of ignoring Harry again.

Harry was left to wondering, though. What if, on the off chance, it wasn't a joke? The idea seemed ridiculous, of course, but so did the idea of talking to snakes and having the snakes talk back. He certainly wasn't about to tell the Dursleys that, though. Once alone again, though, he took out the letter and envelope and read them over again. If this was really just a prank, how did the kids know where he slept? And where did they get this old, heavy parchment and wax seal for it? They'd certainly gone to a lot of trouble for it, if so. But even if it was genuine, he had no idea how he might respond to it, and didn't understand its reference to owls. If somebody really wanted to talk to him, they'd have to do better than that.

He continued to think it over for the next several days. When no more letters came and nobody showed up at the door, Uncle Vernon seemed to have entirely forgotten about the strange incident. However, a week later, on his birthday, there came a loud knock on the door.

Harry listened from the safety of his cupboard as Uncle Vernon answered the front door. "Who in blazes are you?" he heard Uncle Vernon's voice demand.

"Rubeus Hagrid, an' I'm here to see young Harry Potter," a loud voice boomed in answer.

Harry's heart skipped a beat. Someone was here to see him? Uncle Vernon said angrily, "There's no one here by that name." Harry heard the door slam.

After tentatively climbing out of his cupboard, Harry looked to the door and asked, "Who was that?"

"Nobody," Uncle Vernon snapped. "Get back in your cupboard."

Their visitor was not so easily dissuaded, however. "Open the door, Dursley!" Uncle Vernon ignored him and shrank back into the kitchen. Harry stared at the door for several long moments, considering whether he dared incurring the Dursleys' wrath in opening it, but his decision was made for him when the door suddenly blew off its hinges and into the floor. Standing in the doorway was a giant of a man, with height and girth as such that Harry wondered how he managed to even fit. "Ah, there yeh are, Harry."

"Hello," Harry said hesitantly, not sure what to make of the massive man.

"Haven' seen yeh since you was a baby," Hagrid said, approaching Harry and looking over him. "Got yer mother's eyes, but yeh look like yer father."

"You knew my parents?"

"Aye, they were a great witch and wizard," the huge man replied. "I remember when they first arrived at Hogwarts."

"They were what?" Harry asked incredulously.

Uncle Vernon appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, his face looking practically purple in rage. "You broke my door! Get out of my house! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!"

"You?" Hagrid snorted. "And what's a Muggle like you teh stop me?"

"What did you call me?" Uncle Vernon said, his expression wavering between anger and fear of this stranger.

"You mean that letter I got about Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry wasn't just a joke?" Harry said in scarcely more than a whisper.

"Blimey, Harry," Hagrid grumbled. "Dumbledore said there might be trouble gettin' yeh, but I didn' think it'd be that bad."

"Out! Out! Get out!" shouted Uncle Vernon, shaking a finger at the larger man. "Don't speak to the boy! I won't have him involved in that funny business! I tried to stamp that abnormality out of him!"

"You knew about all this?" Harry said, looking over toward Uncle Vernon.

"Yeh mean teh tell me yeh didn' tell him anything?" the giant roared in disbelief. "Harry Potter, growin' up not knowin' anythin' about Hogwarts or wizards or magic or any o' it? Unbelievable! Come on, Harry. I got lots to tell yeh, then, an' we can talk on the way."

"Where are we going?" Harry asked as he approached the door. He was a little leery about going off somewhere with a perfect stranger, but he could hardly be any worse than the Dursleys and he seemed to have known his parents and, if he was telling the truth about all this, he could probably take him someplace an awful lot better than this.

"Dumbledore sent me to get yeh and take yeh to Diagon Alley to get yer school supplies and such," Hagrid explained. "Make sure yeh could get there an' all, since these Muggles here have clearly been no help at all."

Uncle Vernon sputtered a bit, torn between trying futilely to tell the large man that he could not take the boy, and the more realistic outlook that he couldn't really do anything about it and he'd hardly mind all that much if the boy wasn't around anyway if he was going to be getting involved with that sort of thing. Along the way there, Hagrid began to tell him all about the wizarding world, answering Harry's questions about it and making sure he had a better idea just what he was getting into here.

"Hagrid, can all wizards talk to snakes?" Harry asked, indicating the young corn snake coiled languidly about his forearm. "I found out I could a couple months ago when we went to a pet shop for Dudley's birthday, and Thissa here's been with me all the time since then, except when she's poking around looking for mice to eat."

"You can talk to snakes?" Hagrid said with a little surprise and a hint of worry, glancing down at him and raising a bushy eyebrow at him. Harry nodded, and Hagrid went on, "No, some wizards can do that, but not very many o' them. They're called Parselmouths, an' the language that they can speak in is called Parseltongue, which is the language of snakes and serpents and such." He seemed like he had something more to say about it, but he trailed off again as they finally arrived at a small, dingy pub and went inside. "The Leaky Cauldron."