I Will Be Here

I Will Be Here

"Gray ceiling on the earth, well it lasted for a while, take my thoughts for what they're worth I've been acting like a child......"

Draco heard the song coming out of the muggle device he had found, or stolen, depends on how you see it. It was called a CD player. Although what the hell it was used for beat the hell out of him. He kind of liked the melody tf described the way he felt.

Gray ceiling, Ha! That was a laugh, it even described the weather. It had been pouring for days, no trace of sun. It was as if the sky had swallowed all the light, and never intended on giving it back. And that's exactly how he felt inside. Gray, as gray as his merciless eyes. He felt as if all the hope he ever had, had vanished. True, it was his fault for acting like such a git. He never intended on hurting her, its just that they had a secret to keep, he had a reputation to uphold. Maybe he HAD acted like a child, calling her names, hurting her. He hadn't meant it really, it was all appearance as usual, all pretend. Draco hiding behind a Malfoy mask. She knew this, or at least he thought she knew.

"Your opinion and what is that? It's just a different point of view....."

She was always telling him what she thought, always trying to figure what his thoughts were. At first he resisted, he had promised never to let anyone take off his mask, but some how she had managed to do it, to lift that mask off, leaving him naked and cold, like an opened book she could read. She was the only one that knew him, the REAL him, the man behind the stone mask, the man that had fears and hopes and dreams. And still, after all she knew, after all the understanding she gave him, he had hurt her.

"What else, what else can I do, I said I'm sorry, and I'm sorry...."

He had gone after her that day, making sure no one saw him. He had begged for forgiveness, one of those rare moments, probably the first ver begged. Malfoy's never beg, or so his father told him. He had said he was sorry, but would she listen? No, just like a girl not to listen to anything but her own damn self. She had run away, screaming that he didn't care, but he did, he cared so much it hurt his soul.

"I said I'm sorry but what for? If I hurt you then I hate myself, I don't want to hate myself, don't want to hurt you."

He hated himself for what he had done, for acting so immature, for making her cry. He hated to see her cry. It made his heart bleed, but he didn't know what else to do. He wanted to tell the world about them, wanted to scream it, but they wouldn't understand. If he hurt her now, it was only to prevent her an even larger pain. Still, he hated to do it, he didn't want to see her cry.

"Why do you choose your pain, if you only knew how much I, Love you, Love you.... I won't be your winter, I won't be anyone's excuse to cry, we can be forgiven, I will be here..."

It was true, he couldn't be held completely responsible for this situation. It was her fault as well. She knew what she was getting into, right from that first kiss. He had asked if she was sure, he had told her it would be hard, and she had said she didn't care, and now here it was, all blowing up just like he had said, but she seemed to forget she had agreed to this. She had known she'd get hurt. Maybe she liked being a drama queen. He had seen her do it before, with her brothers, crying like a baby just to get her way. But, no, this was different. He knew she loved him, even though the words were never said, he loved her too, more than she knew, more then she would ever know. It was too hard to explain it to her. How could he tell her that she owned his heart? How could he give her all that power?