The Morning After

Abe sat in the windowsill wrapped in his dressing gown though he wasn't looking at the early morning world passing by outside. His attention was solely concentrated on his bed or rather the person in it. Severus was still dead to the world, sprawled on his stomach across more of the bed than seemed possible, his hair covering most of his face and the sheets bunched around his waist. It was a sight that had Abe more than a little thoughtful and contemplative as he waited for the young man to wake up.

For truth be told, he had no idea how Severus was going to react. The young man hadn't been entirely sober last night though he'd also been nowhere near drunk. Abe himself had been stone-cold sober and would not have permitted this to happen had Severus been drunk. He'd have fended him off and tucked him up in one of the rooms with a hangover potion for the morning. No, Severus hadn't been drunk but, unless he was very mistaken, this was the previously very heterosexual Severus' first excursion into homosexuality and it was with a man much older than himself and a Dumbledore to boot. A negative reaction to all of the above would not be unexpected.

He supposed he should have said no. Should have told Severus to find someone his own age. But he hadn't wanted to say no and who else was Severus supposed to turn to? Someone with as little experience as himself, who might hurt him? Someone whom he didn't trust, who might spill his secrets? Besides he liked Severus. For all that he could act like a spoiled sullen sulky child at times, he had a fine mind and a sly, sarcastic way about him that Abe liked enormously. Merlin only knows what Albus would say if and when he found out. That would be quite the lecture. Abe proposed to ignore it as thoroughly as he'd ignored any number of Albus' lectures over the years.

There was, of course, a very good chance that this was going to go badly. It had happened to him before and it was never pleasant. At least these days he didn't worry about being beaten or hexed. He was a good enough wizard to put a stop to that very firmly. Though Severus didn't strike him as the type to resort to physical violence. No, he suspected any retaliation would be far more subtle and just as unpleasant. Well, he'd faced that before as well. He knew how to deal with it. It would be ugly and dirty but he could do what needed to be done.

As he watched Severus shifted and drew in a deep breath. He watched the muscles in the young man's back as he slowly woke and saw the precise moment when Severus recalled what had happened the previous night and remembered where he was. The way the muscles in his back tied themselves into knots was truly impressive. It also looked painful and if this is how Severus reacted to stressful situations, it went a long way to explaining his moods on occasion. The tension headaches must be awful.

He waited while Severus thought things through, tracing the way the muscles shifted and unknotted and knotted in his back, wondering whether they meant good things or bad things. There was a possibility he might get to learn the language of Severus' back. He suspected it might be very useful. The young man seemed about as adept as he was at actually talking about things that mattered personally to him. And it was interesting to contemplate how he'd react if every time something tense or uncertain or personal arose, he was asked to strip off his shirt and turn around. It might cause some spectacular arguments but then again it might derail some spectacular arguments as well.

"Abe?"

Severus' voice was low and tense and uncertain and he didn't move but his back was once again a mass of knots and tension. It made something in Abe's chest tighten; the young man sounded like he was certain that the world was about to fall on top of him and crush him.

"Here," he said quietly though he didn't move from where he was sitting, letting Severus have his space while he sorted things out for himself.

Now Severus did move, rolling onto his back and sitting up, clutching the sheet to his chest with a sort of maidenly modesty that almost had Abe chuckling. Only Severus' expression stopped him - uncertainty, hesitation, confusion mixed with a blush that stained his pale cheeks. He was also clearly struggling to meet Abe's eyes and Abe knew he would have to handle this carefully or Severus would be out of the room in an instant.

"I don't sleep much these days and I didn't want to disturb you," he said mildly when it became obvious Severus was struggling for words.

"I..." Severus began then he stopped. He seemed at a loss and he was still blushing. He did manage to raise his gaze to look Abe in the eyes, which Abe counted as a win.

"I won't take offense, get angry or be upset if you want to get up and leave right now," he said calmly. "Or if you want to forget this ever happened."

He could see that Severus was torn, that part of him desperately wanted to take that offer, to avoid the complications that last night had created. He even saw the minute shift as he made the first move to accept. But then he stopped. He didn't precisely relax or settle back on the bed but he stopped and he stayed. Abe was intrigued. He was also surprised to find the faintest glimmer of hope curl around in his chest. He wanted Severus to stay? So it seemed.

"I just... don't understand." Severus' confusion deepened as he looked down at the bed. So too did his blush. Abe assumed the memories of last night had prodded at him. Really, he did like Severus' blush. It was strangely endearing and a reminder that this often sardonic and bitter young man could be as awkward as anyone else.

Abe raised an eyebrow and an imp of mischief made him say, "I know 'The Talk' usually doesn't involve describing the actions of two men but I would have thought the extrapolation was easy enough." He smiled slightly as Severus' blush deepened further then he sobered. "What don't you understand?"

"I... just... I don't..."

"You've never considered men before," Abe said, knowing where the strangled words were going.

"No!" Severus said, sounding confused and baffled and lost.

"Most men don't," Abe replied. He shrugged and shifted slightly on the windowsill, turning so that he was facing Severus properly. "It's not considered normal or acceptable so even if they have thoughts, they deny them and push them away. Go back to what's 'normal'."

"You didn't."

Abe snorted and one shoulder lifted in something that was possibly a shrug. "I like women as much as men. Gender has never been an issue with me." He paused and gave a short harsh laugh. "Well, it was when I was your age but that passed. I saw too much, went through too much. It put things into perspective." He gave Severus a shrewd look. "Did you like it?"

There was that blush again. Deeper and more extensive than before. That and the unconscious lick of the lips told Abe the truth before Severus even opened his mouth to speak.

"Yes."

It was whispered and there was an undercurrent of shame that was wasn't that surprising but it was an answer. Abe had been half expecting Severus to lie even as his body language told the truth. He was oddly pleased that he hadn't.

Now for the harder question, the more challenging one. "Do you want it to happen again?"

He was greeted with silence but it didn't bother him. He'd have been suspicious if Severus had answered quickly. He was able to wait. Severus deserved the patience.

"I... don't know," was the eventual answer. It wasn't one that surprised Abe though when Severus continued, he was surprised.

"With you... I... maybe. With anyone else..." Severus shuddered and ducked his head.

Abe's eyebrow went up again and he was silent for a moment as he contemplated his answer. He wasn't sure whether he liked Severus' answer or not or whether he believed it. Merlin knows his more carnal side liked the answer but his rational side was hesitant.

"You're welcome here whenever you like," he said. It was the best compromise he could come up with right now.

Severus' eyes met his own then and he saw the lingering confusion in them as well as a growing hint of speculation. He seemed to be turning some thought over and over in his mind and coming to a conclusion Abe couldn't guess at right at this moment. He suspected that at some point he'd be able to read Severus' expressions better but that wasn't the case right now. His best guess was that Severus was thinking of the best way to leave gracefully so that he could think about all of this.

Which was why he was caught by surprise when Severus let the sheet drop and pool at his waist with a narrow-eyed look that said he had several theories that he would like to test to see how accurate they were.

"What about right now?"

Abe blinked and then shook his head ruefully and chuckled. He wondered if Severus was always going to catch him by surprise just when he'd thought he had things figured out. As he rose from where he was sitting he could only think that he hoped so.