Taijitu

Authors Notes: Hey everyone! Thanks for this chapter go to Jenni for all the lovely work she did with me on this fic! Thanks also go to both Michelle and pretty much everyone else who's reviewed my fic up until now! It's only because I keep getting reviews that I keep writing. So - thanks!

"Do you think we should knock?"

"I think we should just leave her alone."

"Really? Well, I don't. I think we should go in there..."

"I think," said Tonks, wrenching open the door to her bedroom and glaring at the two figures standing in the hall, "that you two still think I can't hear you when you're only one room away."

Her parents stared back at her, surprised by her sudden outburst.

"Well..." Ted Tonks scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Cup of tea?" Andromeda held out the china cup she held in her hands.

Tonks took the proffered cup silently. Then she disappeared from view as the door shut with a snap.

Andromeda looked taken aback. She reached her hand up to turn the doorknob, but Ted suddenly seized it.

"I dunno if that's a good idea, Dromeda..."

Andromeda flared up at once. "Well," she huffed, "what do you expect me to do? She turns up here, drenched to the bone, her husband missing, just been attacked by Death Eaters..."

"Yes, but still," said Ted in an irritatingly calm voice.

"I can still hear you, you know!" Tonks' aggravated voice carried from behind the closed door.

Ted gave his wife a look and tugged her away from the door. Heading down the stairs, Andromeda shook her head.

"What's happened?" she said to her husband desperately. "Where's Remus?"

Ted just shook his head. "I don't know," he said quietly.

Two days ago Tonks had turned up their doorstep, soaking wet and drenched to the bone, tears running down her face. She had asked to stay, and of course her parents had been happy to oblige. She'd been holed up in her room ever since, refusing meals and company, requesting a solitude that her father was not sure was entirely good for her. Neither of her parents had any real idea as to why she was so upset.

The pair of them entered the kitchen. Sitting at the table while Ted put the kettle on, Andromeda sighed.

"I don't understand," she said for what felt like the hundredth time since Tonks had arrived. "I just don't understand, Ted. We need to know what happened at Bill and Fleur's wedding."

"We know the basics," said Ted tiredly, tapping the kettle with his wand, which immediately began issuing copious amounts of steam. "You-Know-Who overthrew the Ministry, killed Rufus Scrimgeour, and then tried to find out where Harry is."

Both of them fell silent at Ted's last remark. Neither of them had forgotten their interrogation. Ted noiselessly poured the boiling water into two identical cups and brought them to the table, handing one to his wife. She accepted it with a small smile, and took a tentative sip.

"But what happened afterwards?" she said. Ted shrugged.

"I suppose they interrogated the people that were left at the Burrow. Dora said they spent some time being interrogated."

"Interrogated!" said Andromeda derisively. "You know what that means! They probably tried to torture the information out of them! Just as they did us!"

Silence fell between them again.

"What I don't understand," said Ted after a moment, "is why she won't tell us what happened afterwards."

Andromeda looked at her husband. "What do you mean?"

Ted shrugged again, sipping his tea. "Something must have happened between then and the time she turned up here. I got the impression that everyone was safe and relatively unhurt at the Burrow. Harry, Ron and Hermione are safe. Something must have happened when they got home..." Ted trailed off.

At the word 'they', Andromeda turned back to her tea, a small frown on her face.

"So this has something to do with Remus."

Ted just sighed. He was silent again for a few moments, and then suddenly got to his feet.

"Where're you going?" Andromeda asked, looking surprised.

"I'm going to go talk to her," Ted said decisively, picking up his cup of tea.

"Oh." Andromeda began to stand as well. "I'll come with you."

"Wait," Ted said, extending a hand to her. She stopped and looked at him questioningly. "Maybe - " he said hesitatingly. "Maybe I should just go."

"Why?" Andromeda asked, her eyes narrowed.

"Because I think she's still a little mad at you, Meda," Ted said honestly.

Andromeda looked down at the table, her face falling. "Yes," she said sadly, sinking back into her seat. "I think she is, too."

"Don't worry too much about it." Ted patted her arm. "She'll get over it soon enough, I should think."

Andromeda just nodded, looking glum. Ted bent down and kissed her gently on the cheek and she smiled slightly, cupping her tea in both hands.

"Back in a minute," he said, heading out of the kitchen. Andromeda nodded and Ted headed up the stairs. He stopped outside his daughter's bedroom door and knocked.

"Dora?" he called. There was no answer. Ted turned the doorknob and went in anyway.

The room was very dark. As Ted peered through the gloom he spotted his daughter lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"I'd like to be alone."

She sounded as if she had a bad head cold. Taking in her appearance, he noticed her mousy brown hair and haggard face. He shut the door behind him and turned back to survey her with mild concern.

"Dora?" he asked again.

She turned away from him, facing the wall. "Really, dad. Can I just be alone? Please?"

He approached her bedside, still holding his tea. "I think you've had just about enough time alone, don't you?" he said mildly, sitting beside her on the bed. She sighed and didn't reply, still facing away from him.

He placed his cup of tea on the beside table, noticing as he did so that her own cup of tea remained undrunk, the meals that she'd been given uneaten and cold.

He rubbed her shoulder. "Isn't it about time you told us why you're here?" he asked her softly. She sighed again.

"I'm here because I need a place to stay," she said in a muffled voice.

"You have a fine place to stay," said Ted logically. "You have your own house, don't you? Or - " a thought suddenly occurred to him, " - did the Death Eaters destroy it?"

"No." Tonks shook her head almost imperceptibly. "It's still in one piece."

"Then why are you staying with your mother and I?"

Tonks finally rolled over to face him. "Are you saying you don't want me here?"

"Of course not," said Ted calmly. "You are, of course, welcome to stay for as long as you like. But you know that's not what I was asking."

"What are you asking?"

"I'm asking why you're not at home with your husband," said Ted bluntly, his eyes boring into his daughter's.

Tonks was silent for a moment. Then she let out a watery, mirthless laugh. "Husband? What husband?"

"Your husband," Ted said again, watching his daughter for a reaction. She just stared up at him in silence, her face pale and exhausted.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said after a long pause, turning over again.

"Oh, no!" Ted grabbed her shoulder before she could get comfortable. She turned back to him with a frustrated groan.

"I don't want to talk about it!" she said again.

"Let's just get something straight," said Ted. "I'm not leaving this room until you tell me what the hell is going on." As Tonks stared at him, he continued. "Your mother and I have been very patient. But you turn up here, drenched and crying, missing a husband who you've only been married to for a month, after battling Death Eaters at a wedding and doing Merlin-knows what else, and you expect us not to ask questions? I don't think so. Talk to me! Maybe we can help you!"

She paused. "No one can help me," she finally said in a softly anguished voice, her face contorting with some silent emotion.

Ted was silent for a moment.

"Dora, where's Remus?" he asked quietly. Tonks sat up, her form hunched and miserable.

"I don't know," she said miserably. "I don't know where he is! We had a fight and...and..."

Tears slipped down her face and she found her throat constricted. She buried her face in her hands.

"Shh," he soothed as she hiccuped beside him. "Why don't you start at the beginning?"

Tonks nodded and tried to compose herself. "I suppose it all started when I told him I was pregnant," she started, taking a shuddering breath.

"Uh-huh." Ted nodded. Then he started. "Wait. What?" He stared at his daughter, dumbstruck.

"I said, it probably all began when I said I was..." Tonks repeated, but stopped when she took in her father's face.

"Pregnant?" Ted repeated faintly.

"Oh." Tonks suddenly realised. "Yeah. By the way, I'm going to have a baby," she said blandly.

"I...I don't..." Ted shook his head. Then his face broke into a grin. "Bloody brilliant!"

Tonks smiled against her will. "Really?" she asked.

"Are you kidding? I'm going to be a grandfather...me!" Ted looked overjoyed. "My first grandchild!"

He pulled his daughter into a spontaneous hug and squeezed her tight. Tonks burst into tears again.

Ted looked shocked and pulled away. "What is it?" he asked.

"You..." Tonks gulped. "You're going to be a grandad, and look at the way you're reacting...if you had've seen the way he reacted...I couldn't figure it out, I..."

"Okay, okay..." Ted put an arm around her shoulder again, his grin fading at the look of obvious distress on his daughter's face. "From the beginning, okay?"

Tonks nodded. "I told Remus that I was pregnant a couple of days ago, just before Harry's birthday party. Looking back, he seemed a little funny at the time, but I didn't think anything of it...and then when we got to Harry's party, Rufus Scrimgeour turned up and Remus insisted we leave. I've been getting hassled at work," Tonks added, as Ted looked confused. "Because of being married to Remus. I suppose I'm fired now anyway," she said with a watery laugh. "Anyway, so then we had an argument about the necessity of leaving. We didn't end up speaking until Bill and Fleur's wedding the next day. He seemed to cheer up a little bit near the end...but then the Death Eaters arrived and we were being attacked, and everything got a bit fuzzy."

Tonks shook her head and fell silent for a moment. Ted handed her his lukewarm tea off the dresser and she smiled at him gratefully, taking a sip.

"Bellatrix was there," Tonks continued in a whisper. Ted's face became pale as she kept talking. "We were battling, but I got distracted and she managed to knock me out. When I came to, she was standing above me, questioning me, trying to get Harry's whereabouts out of me..." A dark shadow crossed her face. "She taunted me, let me know she was interrogating me first because I'd bought contempt on her family, that I was a little blood traitor..." Tonks let out another mirthless laugh. "When she'd finally finished with me, she questioned everybody else, and then they let us go."

"They let you go?" Ted asked in surprise.

Tonks nodded. "They were on orders to question us only." Tonks shuddered. "I really don't think it mattered to Bellatrix whether or not she found out where Harry was, she was just having fun torturing me," she said hollowly. Ted's grip tightened on her shoulder.

"Obviously, she had no hesitation in telling Remus this?" Ted guessed. Tonks shook her head.

"No. And when we got home, we found that the Death Eaters had ransacked our house. I think it was that that finally drove Remus over the edge..."

Tonks looked into her father's eyes, tears streaming from her own. "I...I said something stupid...something about being able to put it all right after I'd had some sleep and...he snapped..." Tonks wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

"What do you mean snapped?" Ted asked. Tonks quickly filled him in on the details, and Ted's face became more and more set with each word.

"And then...then he said that the baby would probably be a werewolf," Tonks continued. "And that he, both of us, had been selfish to get married when there were so many things to consider..."

Here Tonks stopped and turned to her father. "You don't think the baby will be a werewolf, do you?" she asked him pleadingly.

Ted looked thoughtful.

"I'm not sure," he said slowly. "My first guess would be that no, the baby won't be a werewolf...but we should get you checked anyway. But anyway," he continued, looking back to his daughter, "I can tell that's not where the story ends."

"No." Tonks shook her head. "We started yelling at each other, until finally he said..." Tonks hesitated, the pain evident in her voice. "He said...it was all a mistake...he hadn't wanted a wife or a baby in the first place."

There was stillness in the room. Tonks took another shuddering breath. "I left. I...haven't seen him since," she finished quietly, staring down into her hands.

Ted was silent for a moment. Then he pulled his daughter into a huge hug.

"Okay, first things," he said to the top of her head. "Congratulations, sweetheart. I'm overjoyed for you."

He could feel her smile against him, and continued.

"Secondly, you can't keep holed up in here all the time. You're looking after two: it's not just you that you have to worry about now. So, we have to get some solid meals into you. Your mother will take care of that. Third, we'll schedule a visit at St. Mungo's as soon as we can, just to check everything out. Fourthly, and most importantly - Remus."

Tonks looked up at him as Ted stared down at her seriously.

"That man promised to take care of you on your wedding day. I was there, I saw it. Remus doesn't seem like the sort of man to renege on his promises. And he loves you so, Dora," Ted added, brushing the tears from his daughter's face as they continued to fall.

"Do you think so?" she whispered.

"I know so," said Ted. "That doesn't stop me from wanting to break his neck for leaving you, but..." He grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet. "Come on," he said, leading her out of the room. "Let's go tell your mother the good news!"

Tonks smiled slightly. "All right," she agreed, allowing herself to be led out of the room. "Grandad," she added as he closed the door behind him.

**********

"Remus, Remus come back!"

Hermione's anguished cry echoed after him as Lupin stormed from the kitchen of Grimmauld Place, the blood pounding in his ears. He opened the front door with such force that it rebounded on its hinges and crashed closed with an almighty bang. He saw the Death Eaters on the corner start, surprised, as the loud echo reverberated around the square. Swearing softly, Lupin turned on the spot and Disapparated.

He reappeared in Hogsmeade. He was still for a moment, furious with the young man he'd left in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place.

"I'd never have believed this. The man who taught me to fight the Dementors - a coward."

Harry's words echoed in his head. He looked so much like James...

Lupin groaned and shook his head in frustration and anger, shame starting to well up in him as he walked up the street and opened the door to the Hog's Head.

Aberforth's piercing blue eyes looked up from behind the bar as Lupin entered.

"Remus," Aberforth said gruffly. "What're you doin here?"

Lupin didn't respond. Instead, he walked right up to the bar and sat on one of the hard stools.

"I need a drink."

Aberforth raised an eyebrow.

"It's three o'clock in the afternoon."

"Don't I look like I know what time it is?" Lupin snapped, running a hand through his hair.

Aberforth shrugged. He grabbed a glass from under the bar and poured a generous amount of Firewhiskey into it. Silently he handed it to Remus, who swallowed the whole glass in one go. Aberforth's eyebrow rose slightly higher.

"You know that it's dangerous for members of the Order to be here, don't you?" Aberforth said quietly. "With the muggle-born register and the overthrow of the Ministry?"

"I don't care," said Remus, frowning. "I just want another drink."

"Another one?"

"Yes, dammit!" Lupin said, his voice raised and higher than usual.

"Okay, okay..." Aberforth took in Lupin's appearance with mild apprehension and poured him another drink, which he promptly swallowed. "Easy, Remus!"

"Remus?"

Lupin turned as a new voice called his name. A figure stood at the door, their back rigid, hair pulled severely off their face in a tight bun. Lupin squinted.

"Minerva?"

Minerva McGonagall closed the door to the bar quietly behind her and strode up the aisle to where Lupin was sitting.

"Remus," she greeted. She nodded to the drink in his hand. "Drinking so early in the day?"

Lupin shrugged, and Minerva didn't press the point. Sitting down on a barstool next to Lupin, she turned to Aberforth.

"One Firewhiskey."

Aberforth nodded and poured her a glass. Lupin snorted.

"Drinking so early in the day?"

Minerva smiled but didn't answer, instead taking the proffered glass from Aberforth and taking a small sip. She shuddered. "Disgusting."

Lupin surveyed her with mild amusement. "Then why are you drinking it?"

Minerva sighed. "Hopefully it'll take some thoughts away."

Lupin was silent for a moment. "Aren't the students supposed to be arriving today?" he finally asked.

Minerva shrugged again. "The Hogwarts Express won't arrive at the station until six o'clock." She lowered her voice. "I couldn't stand staying up at there for another minute with Snape and his...friends - " here she made a disgusted face, " - in the castle. There's just too many memories."

Lupin frowned. "How is Snape?"

"How is he?" Minerva repeated, laughing hollowly. "Oh, he's perfect. Why shouldn't he be? He's returned to the castle triumphant, his cronies at his heels, after murdering the man who...who..."

Here her voice broke off and she took another gulp of her Firewhiskey. Lupin turned away from her, uncomfortable, and took a sip from his own glass, noticing as he did so that the lines around Aberforth's face had become tight.

"So," Minerva said after a few moments, obviously trying to break the tension. "I understand congratulations are in order."

"Congratulations?" Lupin repeated blankly, turning back to the elderly woman. She smiled.

"Arthur told me yesterday after the battle. About you and Nymphadora and the baby."

"Oh." Lupin turned away from her. "Thanks," he said woodenly.

He could feel her surveying him with those sharp eyes of hers. "How is Nymphadora?"

"She's fine. She's at her parents' house."

"How is she after the battle?"
Lupin shrugged. "Fine," he said, wondering whether this was really true. He hadn't even really made sure before...

"Something's wrong," Minerva said, breaking into his thoughts.

"No." Lupin turned to her. "There's not."

"Remus, I worked with you for almost a year. Before that, I taught you. I think I know you pretty well. What is it?"

Lupin reflected on how strange it was that he was sitting here having this conversation. Behind the bar, Aberforth stood wiping out glasses with a rag, obviously listening intently.

"Nothing," said Lupin woodenly, draining the last drops from his glass and tapping the bar, signalling Aberforth for more. Aberforth poured another glass and went to hand it to him, but Lupin suddenly felt a hand close around his. It took him a moment to realise it was Minerva's.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" she asked quietly.

Lupin sighed and withdrew his hand, and Minerva nodded to Aberforth, who placed the glass under the bar.

"You say nothing's wrong. If that's true, why aren't you at home with your wife?" she pressed. "Is it Nymphadora?"

Lupin sighed, but said nothing.

"Is it the baby?"

Still Lupin remained silent, staring moodily at the bar.

Minerva took another sip of her drink and shuddered. "Did I ever tell you about my children?" she asked casually. Lupin turned to her.

"I didn't know you had children," he said, surprised. Minerva smiled faintly. "Minerva..." Lupin looked over to see Aberforth standing erect, a worried look on his face. Minerva held up a hand.

"No, Aberforth. It's all right." She turned to Lupin. "Yes, I have children. Two, in fact - a boy and a girl. They were the most important things in my life."

Lupin was silent for a beat, and his heart sank as he reviewed her words and found that she was speaking about her children in the past tense. He realised she was deliberately avoiding his gaze, staring deep into her drink.

"What happened?" he asked softly.

Minerva let out a sound that was halfway between a sigh and a grunt. "It was during the last war. Of course, it was too dangerous to keep them with me, and so while I was teaching at Hogwarts, they lived in a flat in London. It was a normal day - until we got the call." She looked up, but her gaze was still trained on the wall, as if seeing something from far away. "The Death Eaters were attacking a house in Winchester. The house belonged to the Prewetts - you remember them?" she added, and Lupin nodded, even though she wasn't looking at him. "By the time we got there, there wasn't much more we could do. Fabian and Gideon were dead - the Dark Mark was set over the house. We thought the Death Eaters had gone, but they hadn't. It was trap. When we entered the house, there were at least ten Death Eaters waiting for us. We battled and managed to win, but we suffered heavy casualties." Minerva sighed. "Usually, in those situations, we hide our immediate families, to protect them. But there hadn't been time in this case. After the battle was over, one of the remaining living Death Eaters took great pleasure in telling me that...that..."

Minerva took a big breath. Lupin glanced over at Aberforth and found that his face was ashen-grey.

"The Death Eaters stormed their flat. My children never stood a chance."

Minerva fell silent, staring back into her glass. Lupin shook his head, feeling horrified and saddened at the same time.

"I should have been with them," Minerva said softly. "I should have been there to protect them. But I wasn't. And it's hard not to think that, in that moment - they needed their mother." She took another gulp of her Firewhiskey, still determinedly avoiding his gaze. "I still sometimes wonder whether they called for me then. And what they thought when I didn't come to them."

She finally turned to him, her eyes over-bright, and for the first time in days, Lupin felt something pierce the self-pity he'd been feeling.

It took him a moment to realise it was sympathy.

"How old were they?" he enquired softly.

"Natalie was twenty-one. Liam was fifteen," she said briskly, trying to blink away the moisture in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said honestly.

Minerva turned back to him, reaching out a hand. "Don't make the mistake I made. Be there, always. Be there to protect them, to make sure nothing happens to them. I know you love your wife."

Lupin was silent, and Minerva pressed on. "Treasure your family, Remus." She grasped his forearm tightly. "There's nothing more important. Nothing," she added in a whisper.

Lupin was silent for a minute more. Then, slowly, he nodded.

Minerva nodded, obviously relieved. "All right." She checked her watch. "I should get back up to the castle. The students will be arriving soon." She put down her glass and nodded to Aberforth. "I'll see you later. Oh, and Remus?"

Lupin looked up.

"It's probably not safe for you to stay here too long."

Lupin nodded, and a hint of a smile flitted across Minerva's face. She turned on her heel and left. Lupin stared at the stop where she'd been for a long time afterwards.

"Remus?" Aberforth finally asked gently. "You okay?"

"I never knew," Lupin said slowly, turning to face the barkeep. "I worked with her for almost a year at Hogwarts. We've been working together in the Order for ten times longer than that. And I never knew."

Aberforth shrugged, his face becoming impassive. "Minerva doesn't talk about it much."

"But you know."

"Yes - I know."

"I never knew," Lupin repeated again. "How long ago was this?"

A shadow passed over Aberforth's face. "Eighteen years."

Lupin shook his head. "I never even knew she was married. Where's her husband?"

Aberforth paused, his face darkening further. "Dead," he said bluntly, returning his gaze to the glass he was holding. "Murdered by You-Know-Who."

"Dead?" Lupin repeated. Aberforth nodded, and Lupin sighed. "She never said anything..."

"She's a very strong lady," Aberforth said briskly, wiping down the bar. "Very strong. She doesn't talk about any of it much." He finally looked up. "Look, Remus. You're welcome to stay here tonight. It's getting late, and Minerva's right - it's too dangerous for you to stay out here any longer."

Lupin nodded, sensing the conversation was closed. "Yes, please."

Aberforth nodded in assent and opened up a flap at the side of the bar, allowing Lupin entrance. As he led him through the back room, Lupin felt a little bit unsteady.

"Too much to drink, ey Remus?" Aberforth asked, smirking slightly as Lupin stumbled.

"I think so," Remus grimaced. Then he stopped dead in his tracks. "Aberforth - who's her husband?"

Aberforth froze, turning back slowly to look at Lupin. "Who? Minerva's?"

Lupin nodded and Aberforth's mouth curved into a half-smile.

"You don't expect me to give all of her secrets away, do you? Here," he added, gesturing as he opened the door to a large room which contained a bed. "You can stay here tonight."

"Thank you," said Lupin, moving over towards the bed. "This will be fine."

"All right," Aberforth said gruffly. "I'll see you in the morning, then."

He left the room. Lupin sighed and lay back on the bed, staring up at the dark ceiling. His mind buzzed with the events of the day, churning and tumbling, until he felt quite dizzy.

He'd never known about Minerva and her children...why hadn't he ever asked? Minerva said she regretted not being there with her children... Lupin couldn't help wondering how he would feel if he learned of Dora's death whilst he was skulking away somewhere.

The thought made his stomach churn. He could never forgive himself, knowing that if he had been there, she might have stood a chance of surviving. In a way, it would be like he had contributed to her death.

He shook his head in the darkness. What was he doing? He loved Dora. He wanted to be there to protect her - always. And yet, when they'd approached their first hurdle, he'd run away, like some scared child.

His wife needed him. And, to be quite frank, he needed his wife. He felt somehow incomplete without her.

And what would James and Sirius say if they knew what he'd done? James had died to protect his son...and Sirius had died defending his godson. They'd be horrified to learn of his actions.

"Oh, I don't know Hermione, I'd be pretty ashamed of him."

With Harry's words echoing in his head, and his own shame filling his heart with icy-cold regret, he rolled over and fell into a fitful sleep.

**********

Lupin woke at noon the next day.

For a moment he looked around, wondering where he was. Then the pounding in his head started. He took in this sensation and combined it with the fact that he felt as if something had died in his mouth, and surmised that he'd been drinking.

"Ouch," he moaned, sitting up and putting a hand to his head. He'd been drinking a lot.

He jumped as the door was suddenly thrown open and Aberforth came striding into the room, carrying a glass in his hand.

"Morning!" he said, flinging open the curtains.

Lupin winced as the light flooded his eyes. "Morning," he muttered.

"I take it that you're not feeling well?" Aberforth said gruffly, returning to the bedside.

Lupin nodded slightly. "I'm not a big drinker."

"So I saw. Sirius would've been ashamed of you."

"Sirius could always drink enough for the both of us. Besides," Lupin added, his half-smile slipping off his face, "he'd have more important things to be ashamed of me for right now."

Aberforth watched him closely for a moment. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gruffly.

"Yes," said Lupin. "But not with you. No offence," he added, grinning up at Aberforth, who smiled back.

"Thank god - I get tired of people coming to me with their problems. Just because I'm a bartender, people think I have the answer to everything."

"People need to solve their own problems," Lupin said, half-talking to himself.

"I'm assuming you're going to fix yours now?"

"I'm going to try," Lupin replied, a sudden frown flitting across his face. He stood up gingerly, putting a hand to his head. "That's going to take some getting used to."

Aberforth smiled as Lupin made for the door. "Oh, and Remus?" he called as Lupin was about to leave the room. Lupin looked back.

"Good luck."

Lupin smiled slightly and left.

Aberforth sighed. "Love crazy freaks," he muttered, heading back out to tend bar.

**********

It was very quiet when Lupin arrived at the Tonkses' house. Opening their front gate quietly, he prayed that his wife was here.

It had taken him four hours to pluck up the courage just to go looking for her. When he had finally convinced himself he had checked their house quickly, just in case she had returned, but apart from the wrecked furniture and the heavy atmosphere still present in the living room, there was no sign that anyone had stepped foot in their house for five days. The only other place she might be, and the place he had told Harry and the others she was, was at her parents' house.

He considered knocking, but finally opened the front door without announcing his presence, allowing that it was quite late. It was pleasantly warm as he walked through the front door and closed it quietly behind him. He let his eyes adjust to the dark and slowly things came into focus. He stepped quietly into the living room and looked around.

On the couch lay a curled up figure.

Lupin stepped forward quietly. Moving around to the front of the sofa, he sighed as he took in Tonks' appearance.

She had her eyes closed and was breathing deeply, obviously fast asleep. A fire burned low in the grate in front of her. Her hair was mousy brown, her heart-shaped face pale and exhausted-looking, even though she was sleeping. Her forehead was wrinkled with worry lines and small frown played on her lips, as though she were having a bad dream.

As though she sensed she was being watched, her eyes suddenly flew open. Lupin leapt backwards, startled, as she let out a shriek and fell off the sofa and onto the floor with a thud.

Scrambling to her feet, she pulled her wand out of nowhere. With a loud bang, Lupin found himself being hurtled across the room, where he crashed into the wall with a loud clunk.

"Dora! It's me!" Lupin cried in desperation as she approached him with her wand, obviously ready to hex him.

She halted, frozen to the spot as Lupin clambered to his feet and faced her. Then she raised her wand again.

"Prove it!" she hissed.

"I - what?" asked Lupin, startled.

"How do I know you're not a Death Eater impersonating my husband?" she countered. Lupin had only a moment to reflect that at least she was still calling him her husband, before she raised her wand higher.

"Well, you don't, I suppose," replied Lupin, nonplussed. She shook her head.

"What do I look like when I'm not metamorphmagised?" she shot at him.

"Uh-well..." Lupin glanced at her apologetically. "Like that, actually." He nodded at her appearance. She glanced down at herself and swore loudly. Then she quickly looked back up, her wand still steady.

"Fine, then," she said coolly. "Show yourself!"

"It's me, Remus John Lupin, sometimes known as Moony, werewolf, married to Nymphadora, hopefully still, who is sometimes known as Tonks..." He realised he was rambling and took a deep breath. "Who can't do a household spell to save her life," he finished softly. Tonks stared at him.

"It is you," she said in a strained voice. Lupin nodded. Slowly, she lowered her wand, still staring at him.

"I think we need to talk," he said.

But evidently this was the wrong thing to say. Her face suddenly became thunderous, and a furious flush ebbed its way up her neck and face.

"We need to TALK?" she shrieked, grabbing a book off the nearest shelf and hurling it at him. He ducked quickly and the book disappeared into the kitchen with a loud bang. "You bet your sweet wand we do!"

She grabbed a delicate crystal ornament and threw it at him. He ducked again and it narrowly missed his head, instead shattering with a loud crash against the wall.

"You...you disappear for five days, without even telling me where you're going," she shouted, still throwing things at him. "I don't know whether you've been hurt or killed! I've been worried sick! And then you come strolling in here at nine o'clock at night! And...and..." She suddenly halted and stared at him incredulously. "Have you been drinking?"

"Uh..." Lupin went to open his mouth, but Tonks snatched up her wand and he had to duck again as a newspaper flew at him and began to smack him over the head.

Tonks seemed beside herself. "You no good, lying, horrible...I don't have bad enough words to call you!" she shrieked as Lupin heard footsteps thundering down the stairs and suddenly Ted and Andromeda appeared at the entrance to the living room, looking around for the source of the commotion. When Ted saw just who was in the living room, he lowered his wand with a sigh.

"Remus," he said calmly, as if he found his daughter and son-in-law having a blazing row in his living room every other day. "Nice night, isn't it?"

Lupin, for his part, had his hands over his head as the newspaper repeatedly smacked him.

"Dora! Stop it!" said Andromeda sharply as Tonks continued to hex her husband, still shouting over the commotion. Tonks lowered her wand, breathing heavily: immediately the newspaper dropped to the floor and Lupin stood upright. He moved forwards to close the distance between them, but Tonks just glared at him, made a disgusted noise, and stomped from the living room. They heard a door slam loudly.

There was silence in the living room for a moment while the three remaining adults stared at each other. Then Lupin sat on the couch slowly.

"I guess I deserved that," he said.

Ted gave his son-in-law a look. "I'd better go check on her," he said, moving from the living room. He was almost at the stairs when he looked back.

"Remus?"

Lupin looked up.

"Don't you dare leave this house until I come back down."

Lupin nodded miserably and Ted headed up the stairs. Lupin returned his gaze to his shoes. The minutes ticked by. Lupin was torn between wanting to stay to talk to Tonks, and leaving because he felt uncomfortable, when something suddenly appeared under his nose. He looked up to see Andromeda looking at him and holding a cup of tea.

"Here, take this," she said. "You look like you need it."

"Thank you," said Lupin quietly, grasping the proffered cup and taking a sip.

Andromeda analysed his appearance for a moment more before sitting next to him with a sigh. They were both silent for a minute, Lupin concentrating on his tea and Andromeda looking extremely uncomfortable. Then they both spoke at once.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you - "

"Dora will be okay - "

They both smiled awkwardly. Then Lupin cleared his throat. "After you," he said politely.

Andromeda paused, and then faced him squarely. "Oh, what the hell are we doing?"

Lupin started, his mouth halfway towards his teacup. "I beg your pardon?" he asked, surprised.

Andromeda shifted slightly. "You're my son-in-law. You're married to my daughter."

"I know," said Lupin, looking confused.

"We need to talk."

"I said that only minutes ago, and look what happened." Lupin waved his hand towards the stairs and Andromeda smiled.

"I'm being serious, Remus."

"So am I," Lupin muttered. He glanced involuntarily towards the stairs again.

Andromeda followed his line of vision with her eyes. "You love my daughter, don't you?"

"Yes," Lupin answered immediately.

"Yet you left her." It was a statement, not a question, and Lupin turned back to his mother-in-law.

"I left for her own good."

"Hers? Or yours?"

Andromeda's questions were so direct that it took Lupin a moment to compose his answers.

"Hers," said Lupin slowly after a minute. "And the baby. And mine, I suppose, if we're being totally honest."

Andromeda surveyed him for a moment. "You don't like me, do you?"

Lupin looked surprised. "What makes you say that?"

Andromeda shrugged. "You certainly think I don't like you."

"Well," Lupin said carefully, choosing his words. "You don't."

"What makes you say that?"

"You didn't come to our wedding."

A shadow passed over Andromeda's face. "No, I didn't come to the wedding," she admitted slowly.

"And since I know you have no quarrel with your daughter, I have to assume that it was something to do with me," Lupin finished logically.

Andromeda paused, taking a sip from her own cup. "Did Dora ever tell you," she began, "what happened when Ted and I decided to get married?"

"No," said Lupin, surprised by the sudden turn in the conversation.

"Well, Ted and I met at Hogwarts and, in our seventh year, Ted proposed. I gather you've heard about my mother?"

"Yes," said Lupin, shuddering as he remembered the portrait of Andromeda's sister hanging in Grimmauld Place. Andromeda saw his reaction and smiled.

"That portrait of my sister is nothing compared to what my mother was like. My sister was mild compared to her. When I told my mother I had accepted a marriage proposal from a common muggle..." Andromeda smiled bitterly. "She was...unhappy...to say the least. It caused such a stir in my family that, finally, just to put an end to all the trouble, I ended it with Ted."

"You ended it?" Lupin repeated. Andromeda nodded.

"I told him I wouldn't marry him. My mother was immensely pleased. My sisters were getting married to nice, respectable purebloods, she was sure she could find one for me. So, I resigned myself to having to live out a miserable life as a wife of someone whom I didn't really love. But Ted had other ideas." She looked down at her feet and continued. "He actually came to my mother's house to find me. My mother was furious, but Ted stood his ground, yelling in the parlour for me to hear...And when I finally agreed to meet him, he managed to convince me that love was all that really mattered, that it didn't matter what sort of blood status he had. I left with him that night. And we've been happy ever since." Andromeda looked up and smiled. "I see a lot of myself in Nymphadora. I see my stubbornness and need to be right, but I also see some of my spirit in her." Andromeda smiled as Lupin stared at her.

"I never disliked you, Remus. I see myself and Ted all over again in you and Dora. I don't like that you're a werewolf..."

"Neither do I," said Lupin dryly. Andromeda blushed slightly.

"And I don't like that you got scared and left my daughter..." she continued doggedly.

"But can you understand?" said Lupin urgently, leaning forwards. "Surely you can see what marrying me has done to her? To her career? And the baby...it might be afflicted with my...condition..."

Andromeda nodded slowly. "I can understand why you might have thought it was necessary," she said. "As for the child...none of us can predict what will be. As soon as possible, Dora can have that checked. But, when all was said and done..." She stared at Lupin intently. "You came back."

Lupin nodded slowly. "If Dora's reaction was anything to go by, I thought you'd be furious with me."

"Oh, I am," Andromeda assured him. "Believe me, when I first found out what happened, I was ready to skin you alive."

Lupin smiled faintly.

"But, when push comes to shove..." Andromeda paused. "Dora loves you. You were her choice. And Dora has good judgment. Most of the time."

There was a slight pause.

"It's...it's still going to take some time for me to accept this," Andromeda said hesitantly. "But I've already done things I'm not proud of. I don't want to make any more mistakes. I don't want my daughter to have the relationship with me that I had with my own mother."

Andromeda looked downwards. Lupin was silent for a moment, and then nodded.

They were interrupted as Ted came trudging back down the stairs.

"She's pretty upset," he said to their questioning looks.

Andromeda stood up. "I'm going to go and see her," she announced. Then she turned back to look down at Lupin. "I'll see you later."

Lupin nodded. "All right. Thank you."

Andromeda nodded and left the room. Ted disappeared for a moment and then reappeared with an armload of blankets and a pillow.

"Here." He handed the pillows to Lupin and then sat down on the sofa.

Lupin looked surprised. "What are these for?"

"I'm gathering you're going to want to stay the night?" he asked briskly. "Dora certainly won't talk to you tonight."

Lupin was silent for a moment. Then he nodded. "Yes, thank you. She might be more willing to talk in the morning."

Ted was silent for a moment. Then he sighed. "Remus..." he began. Remus took a big breath, ready for the onslaught. If the look Ted had given him when he first arrived was anything to go by, Lupin was in for a long argument. Instead, however, Ted paused and then picked something up from the table.

"Have you read this?" he asked. It took Lupin a moment to realise he was holding a copy of the Daily Prophet.

"The Muggle-Born Registration Committee?"

Ted nodded.

"Yes," Lupin sighed, leaning back on the sofa. "He didn't waste any time rounding them up, did he?"

Ted shook his head. "I'm not registering," he said grimly. "Andromeda and I were discussing it...She wants me to just go and do it, but I still remember what it was like last time You-Know-Who was in charge. Muggle-borns were rounded up, accused of stealing the magic they possessed, and thrown in Azkaban."

The two men were silent for a moment. Then Ted spoke again.

"I'd imagine they're going to be after you as well, Remus."

Lupin nodded. "Yes," he said slowly. "I thought that myself, as soon as I saw the Prophet this morning. If they're going after Muggle-borns, they're most certainly going to come looking for a werewolf blood traitor who's in the Order. It was another reason I considered not returning."

Ted glanced at him quickly. "And now?"

Lupin hesitated. "As soon as they know she's pregnant, she'll be at an even higher risk than she was before," he said finally, evading the question.

Ted hesitated for a moment. Then he nodded. "What happened, Remus?" he asked softly. "I was there the day you got married. You were so happy. You can't tell me you didn't mean any of it."

Lupin shook his head. "No. I don't know what came over me. I said things...things I most certainly didn't mean. But just the shock of seeing her tortured, not for Harry's whereabouts, but just because she was married to me...It pushed me over the edge. I guess I just figured then that she'd be better off without me. Her and the baby."

"But you were planning on leaving before the attack."

"Did Dora tell you that?" Lupin asked, surprised by both the perceptiveness and bluntness of the statement.

"No. But from what she did tell me, I could figure out what must have been going through your head."

Lupin was silent for a moment. "Yes," he admitted finally. "I'd decided to leave at the wedding. I couldn't help but think that the baby was going to be like me. I guess..." He shrugged. "I guess I didn't want to deal with it. I don't know if I would've ended up leaving, but there you have it."

The two men were silent for a moment. "Remus," Ted said finally. "I want a guarantee from you. I want to know my daughter is going to be safe. I want to know she's going to be looked after and cared for and loved. You took those vows the day you got married. If you're not prepared to do all those things...just admit it now." Ted turned to look into the younger man's eyes. "Admit it, and let my daughter get on with her life. Don't put her through all the heartbreak for nothing. A marriage is like anything - it needs work in order to succeed. But it also needs the commitment of two people. If you can't come to terms with what's going on - then you need to leave. Now."

Lupin looked up, surprised by this statement. He was very quiet for a minute. Then he spoke.

"I couldn't imagine living without her." His voice was hoarse. "I don't know what I'd do."

"So you've decided to stay?"

Lupin nodded slowly. "Over the past few days, I've thought a lot about things. I left under the pretence of protecting Dora and the baby. But I can protect them more if I'm here - not hiding somewhere." Again he was reminded of Minerva McGonagall and her two children, and he suppressed a shudder. He wouldn't let that happen to his family. He couldn't. "I love her," he said softly.

Ted nodded briskly. "Good," he said. "Because now you'll need to prove it to her. She's very angry at you, Remus."

"As she should be," Lupin said dryly. For the first time since Lupin had arrived, Ted smiled.

"We all make mistakes."

"I'm almost forty years old," Lupin sighed, resting his head on the back of the sofa. "And I'm beginning to realise I know nothing. How depressing is that?"

"If you've realised that, then you know more than you think." Ted stood up. "It's late, I'm going to bed." He bent down and clapped Lupin on the back. "Will you be all right down here?" he asked, motioning to the blankets and pillows. Lupin nodded.

"Thanks again, uh..."

"Call me Ted." Ted started to head out of the living room. "Night, Remus," he called over his shoulder.

Lupin sighed and began to stretch out of the couch. Laying his head down on the pillow, the sofa still gave off the slight scent of Tonks' hair shampoo and his sigh became deeper.

"Goodnight, Nymphadora," he murmured, closing his eyes and wishing his arms were around his wife.

Little did he know that upstairs, Tonks was wishing for the very same thing.

Authors Notes: Well, what did you think? Pleeeeeeease let me know! I L-O-V-E feedback! And, as always, if I don't get any reviews, Leprechauns and Veela and Mermen all come and make me tap-dance...and I still don't wanna... *grins*