Taijitu

Authors Notes: Thanks go, as always- to my lovely and very helpful beta, Jenni. She's the best! I've been getting bugged about putting this latest chapter up here, so...here you go! I hope it lives up to expectations!

"I'm home!"

As dusk fell, Lupin entered Ottery Cottage. Taking off his cloak and hanging it in the closet, he sighed.

There was silence.

There was something decidedly cautious in Lupin's tone as he called to his wife again.

"Dora? I'm home!"

Lupin reflected that his caution was not unwarranted, given his wife's recent behaviour.

Tonks had been acting very strangely for the past couple of days. Last night she'd come home with a mysterious package, which she'd refused to show Lupin, and a box of what had looked like chocolate cake mix. She'd then proceeded to hide said strange package and eat the entire packet of cake batter, uncooked.

And dear Merlin, the mood swings. She kept laughing, crying, and then laughing through her tears before suddenly and unnecessarily becoming incensed at the tiniest things. Last night she'd actually sobbed over an ad for fabric softener on the wireless for two hours. And when he dared to ask her what was wrong? She gave him such a fierce look that he was afraid that he'd be sleeping on the couch for the next ten years.

Lupin had heard of "that time of the month", but this was getting ridiculous.

"Dora?" he called for a third time. "You're not cooking, are you?" he added in a softer tone, moving into the living room. Looking around, he found that his wife was nowhere to be seen. Poking his head into the kitchen, he saw to his relief that it was dark, and that the stove was cold.

"Remus?" Lupin suddenly heard Tonks' muffled voice. "Is that you?"

"Where are you?" he called.

"Upstairs!" her disembodied voice called back to him and he began to climb the stairs. He entered their bedroom to see Tonks sitting on the bed. She looked radiant, and as he appeared in the bedroom doorway she grinned.

"Hi, honey!" she said cheerfully, jumping off the bed to greet him and placing an extremely passionate kiss on his lips.

When they broke apart, Lupin held her at arm's length. "Is everything okay?" he asked mildly.

"Everything's great! Why?"

"You wanted me to come home early?"

"Oh, yes..." Tonks' smile widened. "Yes, I wanted to talk to you before Harry's birthday party tonight."

"About what?" Lupin enquired, moving around the bed and kicking off his shoes with a contented sigh.

"Oh, this and that," said Tonks airily as Lupin moved into the bathroom.

"This and that?" repeated Lupin as he turned on the taps to wash his face.

"Uh-huh." She moved into the bathroom and Lupin watched her reflection sit on the edge of the bathtub behind him. "But I want your undivided attention."

"All right," Lupin agreed, wiping his dripping face on a towel before turning to her. "You have it. What's going on?"

Tonks smiled. Then she seized his wrist.

"Come in here."

She dragged him into the bedroom. Lupin surveyed his wife with mild apprehension as she shoved him down on the bed and then plopped herself down beside him, bouncing cheerfully.

"Comfortable?"

Lupin nodded slowly, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Good. Okay." Tonks took a deep breath. "I have something to tell you."

"All right." Lupin was finding this conversation unnerving already.

"I missed work today."

"I - what?" Lupin looked confused. "You missed work?"

Tonks nodded.

"Uh...all right...is that what you had to tell me?"

"Well, not really," said Tonks, her eyes dancing merrily. "I missed work because I had to go to St. Mungo's."

"What?" Lupin asked sharply, sitting up abruptly. "You're not sick, are you?"

"No, no." She hurried to clarify. "I'm not sick."

Lupin relaxed again.

"Then what is it?"

"Well," she started, "you might have noticed lately that I've been having some slight mood changes..."

"Slight?" Lupin asked before he could help himself. At her look, he hurriedly amended, "I mean, yes, I might have noticed something..."

"Well, I bought a test last night to find out what was going on..."

Ah, so that was what the mysterious package had been. Lupin looked up as Tonks continued.

"Anyway, I went to St. Mungo's today to check out the results. And..." She paused slightly. "I'm pregnant."

Lupin's face registered a blank for a moment. Then it went slack and his jaw dropped.

"What?"

"I'm - I'm pregnant." Tonks' smile faltered as she took in her husbands' shocked face.

"What...I don't...pregnant?" Lupin finished lamely. Tonks nodded.

"The healers say about five weeks."

Lupin remained silent, his face extremely pale. Tonks looked very disappointed.

"Aren't you happy?" she asked haltingly. Lupin quickly looked up.

"I...of course I am..." Lupin said slowly. "But...I thought... I thought we were using...you know..." He trailed off uncomfortably.

"Protection?" Tonks supplied. Lupin nodded.

"We were. But obviously it didn't work," said Tonks. She was scrutinising her husband's face closely, obviously watching his reaction. When Lupin continued to remain silent, Tonks' eyes began to fill with tears.

"I...I thought you'd be happy," she whispered. Lupin looked up again quickly.

"I am," he assured her, although his face continued to remain grim.

"You don't seem to be," she replied, getting up from the bed and moving away from him.

"I am," he said again mechanically.

Tonks stared at him from her place by the window, her arms crossed. "Don't try for too much enthusiasm there," she said scathingly.

Lupin was silent again for a moment. Then he slowly got up from the bed and extended his arms, beckoning to his wife. She remained stationary, her arms tightly folded.

"I'm just shocked," Lupin said. "I didn't expect this..."

Tonks' expression softened and she moved closer to her husband as he held out his arms again.

"Thank God," she murmured into his chest as his arms closed around her. "I thought for a moment that you were unhappy...that you didn't want the baby..."

With her head in his chest, Tonks missed the look of complete despair on her husband's face as he slowly stroked her hair, his fingers trembling. He was silent as Tonks continued talking, his heart thumping wildly in his chest, dread closing around his heart like an icy fist.

**********

"Happy birthday, Harry," said Tonks, hugging him tightly.

Lupin smiled as he shook Harry's hand, but he felt the smile slide off his face as soon as he had completed the handshake. He saw Harry give him a questioning look, but was distracted from asking any leading questions as Hagrid engaged him in conversation.

All the way up the lane to Harry's birthday party at the Burrow, he and Tonks had walked beside each other silently. She kept shooting him concerned looks and he knew it was only a matter of time before she started asking questions.

Leading her to the table where a huge iced cake shaped like a giant Snitch took prime place in the middle of the table, he was just helping himself to a drink and getting one for Tonks when he saw a streak of light flying across the yard and land on the table. It took Lupin a moment to register that it was a Patronus shaped like a weasel. It stood on its hind legs and when it spoke, it was Arthur Weasley's voice that issued from it:

"Minister for Magic coming with me."

Lupin felt his stomach drop.

"We shouldn't be here," he said at once, ignoring his wife's look of mingled surprise and annoyance. "Harry - I'm sorry - I'll explain another time -"

He seized her wrist and pulled her away. The wind whipping his hair, he and Tonks ran for the fence and climbed over it. Lupin saw the Burrow disappear from sight as he dropped to the ground below, and then watched as Tonks jumped over the fence and stumbled slightly, off-balance. He grabbed her elbow to steady her and she was silent for a moment, slightly out of breath and panting, staring at her husband as if he had grown two heads.

"What the hell was that about?" she demanded, wrenching her elbow out of his grip.

"You know how the Minister would react if he'd seen us there," Lupin said tersely, starting to move down the path that led to the village. Tonks remained stationary, her arms folded.

"What, if he'd seen us at a birthday party for your best friend's son? Shocking!" The last part of her sentence was dripping with sarcasm.

"You know what I mean." Lupin stopped and turned back to face her.

"No, I don't," said Tonks, folding her arms tighter, her expression thunderous.

"You've already seen how negative the Ministry is towards you because you're married to me! How do you think the Minister would've reacted if he'd seen us at a gathering for the 'Chosen One'?"

"I don't give a damn what he would've thought!" Tonks said angrily.

"Well, I do," Lupin said shortly. "Harry can't risk anyone finding out he's not going back to Hogwarts, especially the Minister of Magic."

"And how do we come into that?"

Lupin laughed bitterly. "What, the werewolf and his blood traitor wife?"

Tonks just stared at him in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding."

"Nope, not kidding." Remus was quickly tiring of the conversation. He felt irritated, edgy, and not just because he'd been forced to leave Harry's birthday celebrations. He surveyed the woman in front of him and again felt a jolt of shame well up within him. She had no idea of what was to come, no idea at all...

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she demanded. "What's the matter with you tonight, Remus?"

He shook his head. "Nothing," he said brusquely.

The wind was starting to pick up and it was rapidly becoming dark. Lupin glanced back over his shoulder at the high fence that blocked the Weasley house from view.

"You feel like going back?" he asked Tonks, gesturing with his head.

"Not really," she said curtly. "Besides, with all the charms on the house, we can't, can we? Not now we've left."

Lupin ignored her tone and nodded. "Fine," he said. "Then we might as well go home."

"Yes." Tonks' voice reflected her disappointment with her husband. "I suppose we might as well."

And together they silently walked down the lane, their cloaks whipping around their ankles.

**********

The next morning Tonks was unusually cold with Lupin. The morning passed in a wave of tenseness, and an eerie silence descended on the house like a thick fog. Once or twice Tonks could feel Lupin's eyes on her, and she could swear he was about to say something. But each time she looked to him, he closed his mouth and continued whatever he was doing.

Tonks felt helpless to bridge the gap she felt opening up between them. She didn't even really understand fully what they were arguing about, only that Remus was acting more cold and distant towards her than he had since they had first "broken up" in Grimmauld Place, just before Sirius had died. Add to that the fact that she was just starting to experience her first bouts of morning sickness, and Tonks was feeling extremely depressed.

She emerged from the bathroom mid-morning, feeling distinctly ill, to find Lupin sitting on their bed. He looked up as she entered the room.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, a trace of concern visible on his otherwise unreadable face.

"I'll be fine," she replied, closing the bathroom door and folding her arms in a defensive position, leaning up against the wall.

"Are you sure?"

"It's just morning sickness, the Healers said it'll go away in time."

Lupin nodded slightly and looked down again. It was only then Tonks noticed that he held a picture in his hand.

"What's that?" she asked curiously, trying to glimpse a look at the figures in the photo without leaving her place beside the door.

Lupin looked up again. "I'm not going to bite you, you know," he said mildly.

"You sure?" Tonks shot back. When Lupin didn't respond, she sighed and walked to the bed, closing the distance between them and sitting next to him. She then plucked the picture out of his hand, stared down at it, and smiled.

"I remember this."

It was a picture of them on their wedding day. It had obviously been taken when they weren't looking: Tonks, wearing her white dress, was holding a piece of cake in one hand, some of it smudged on her nose. She was laughing as fireworks went off in the background of the picture, bright red against the dark sky. Standing slightly behind her was Lupin, his arms wrapped around her, looking contented. In the background Fred and George Weasley waved cheerfully, their wands controlling the fireworks.

Tonks stared down at the photo for a moment more, and then looked up. She was surprised to find Lupin staring curiously, almost wistfully, at her face.

"What?" she asked gently.

Lupin seemed to shake himself out of a reverie. "Nothing," he said. He made as if to get up from the bed, but Tonks placed a hand on his thigh.

"Wait."

Lupin froze. Tonks surveyed him with a mixture of confusion and melancholy as she took in his expression. It seemed as though he was almost...afraid of her.

"What's going on?" she asked him quietly.

She saw that she had touched on something. She saw something unidentifiable flicker behind his eyes for a moment, and then his face became impassive once more.

"I don't know what you mean," he said woodenly. "I'm fine."

"I think I know you better than that," Tonks said, trying to keep her voice light. "There's something bothering you."

"No, there's not." Lupin's face was becoming blanker with each passing word.

"Yes, there is."

"There's not."

"There is!" Tonks insisted.

Something suddenly seemed to snap behind Lupin's eyes and he shot off the bed, glaring at his wife. She stared up at him in surprise.

"There's nothing wrong!" he practically shouted at her. "Just leave me be! Why can't you just accept the fact that there's nothing wrong!"

She stared at him, face pale and heart pounding in her chest. She swallowed, determined not to cry.

"Because," she whispered, "the Remus Lupin I know would never speak to me like that. But maybe I don't know you as well as I thought I did."

There was silence as Lupin glared at her for a moment, his chest heaving. Then a light seemed to go out behind his eyes and his face became suddenly and completely emotionless.

"We need to get going for the wedding soon," he said coldly, turning away from her. "You should start getting ready."

And with that, he turned and walked out of the room.

**********

The afternoon was bright and sunny. The Weasleys' yard was filled with chattering people, a brilliant marquee was set up, and the atmosphere was generally jolly as everyone began to anticipate the arrival of Fleur and her marriage to Bill.

Lupin, however, had never felt more miserable.

After their disastrous conversation at home and Lupin's uncalled-for explosion at his wife, the temperature at Ottery Cottage had dropped about ten degrees. Lupin had paced downstairs as he waited for Tonks to get ready, trying to form an apology in his mind.

What, what, what had come over him? It wasn't Tonks' fault he felt as if everything was falling apart. She was just trying to find out what was bothering him, as any good partner would do.

So why had he felt so furious with her?

And so he'd waited at the bottom of the stairs leading to their bedroom. When she finally emerged down the stairs, he could tell immediately that she'd been crying, although she tried to hide it.

He had wanted to apologise, to make her feel better, but he just hadn't been able to get the words out.

"Let's go," he'd grunted at her as she'd approached him.

Their journey to the Weasleys had been spent in silence.

"Wotcher," said Tonks' voice suddenly, bringing him out of his reverie. He looked up to see a large, red-haired boy with freckles and rather large feet approaching them, grinning. Lupin realised with a start that it was Harry.

"Arthur told us you were the one with the curly hair," Tonks continued as Harry began to lead them down the aisle towards their seats. Lupin flinched inwardly at her forced cheerfulness when she spoke next. "Sorry about last night, the Ministry's being very anti-werewolf at the moment and we thought our presence might not do you any favours."

"It's fine, I understand," said Harry, giving Lupin a grin. Lupin managed a smile, but again it slipped away almost immediately as a feeling of despair overwhelmed him. Harry gave him a look as he and Tonks sat in their seats, but had no time to question him further as a loud splintering sound made him turn his head towards the back of the marquee. He hurried off, shaking his head.

Hagrid's muffled apologies reached Lupin's ears, but he didn't pay much attention. He instead turned to his wife, who looked as miserable as he felt. Feeling his eyes on her she turned to face him. He opened his mouth to speak, but just as he did so, loud strains of music began to issue from the golden balloons up the front of the marquee.

She continued to stare at him for a moment. "The ceremony's about to start," she said quietly.

Lupin nodded and turned back to face the front. There was a collective sigh as Fleur walked down the aisle on the arm of her father, but all Lupin could think about was the woman sitting beside him, and how she had walked down that same aisle only a month before. He had been so happy on that day...

Or had he? He distinctly remembered having doubts about the whole thing, actually. It had taken a lot of thinking before he went ahead with their wedding. But did that mean he had made a mistake marrying Tonks? Did he love Tonks? Really love her?

His brain felt fried, overworked, and he rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly. He didn't know what he felt anymore. Beside him, Tonks stared up at the ceremony in progress, but her eyes were glassy and Lupin knew she was paying as little attention to the beautiful ceremony as he was. Was she thinking, like him, that maybe they had made a mistake?

And now she was going to have a baby...a baby that would, surely, carry his affliction?

Lupin couldn't bear the thought of having knowingly and willingly passing on his condition to another human being. Why hadn't he thought of that before they'd gotten married?

There were so many things he hadn't thought of...

He tried to tune his thoughts into the ceremony as the young couple exchanged vows. Lupin felt a surge of envy as he studied them. They had none of the problems Lupin was worrying about. They would be free to continue their lives after the wedding, unworried about things such as employment, support and children.

The ceremony ended and there were loud cheers as the couple embraced down the front. Lupin and Tonks, along with the rest of the assembled audience, stood. The marquee transformed itself into a large reception venue, with tables, chairs, waiters and a magnificent view of the orchard and countryside. Lupin and Tonks looked at each other and then, silently, turned and began to walk to the nearest table. Sitting down, Lupin watched wistfully as Bill and Fleur took to the floor to have their first dance as man and wife.

Slowly evening fell. Fred, George and two of Fleur's Veela cousins soon joined them, and the tables began to fill. When dinner came, Lupin ate only half-heartedly, and watched as Tonks pushed the food around on her plate as well, evidently not hungry. Eventually, the dance floor began to fill with people.

Lupin glanced at his wife. She was watching the dancers on the floor, her face half-hidden by shadows caused by the paper lanterns hanging over the marquee. From this angle she looked quite beautiful, and Lupin's heart gave a tug.

And, quite suddenly, his mind suddenly presented him with a disturbingly vivid mental picture. Once again, he was back in a small and cramped bathroom, trying to calm himself down while Tonks was lying seriously wounded on the Weasleys couch. In his minds eye, he saw himself washing Tonks' blood off his hands, the crimson making strange patterns in the sink as it swirled away down the drain.

"It doesn't get any easier, you know."

Arthur Weasley had spoken those words that night, unable to predict what would happen in the very near future. It was only now that Lupin was finally starting to understand the full impact of his words. He was draining the life out of his wife, just as surely as he had watched her blood flow down the drain the fateful night he had proposed...

He came to a decision. With a new song starting up on the dance floor, Lupin turned to his wife.

"Dance with me," he said suddenly.

"What?" Tonks looked surprised and stared at him.

"Dance with me," Lupin repeated, standing. He looked down and extended his hand to her. She smiled, but remained sitting.

"Remus, be serious."

"I am," he insisted. "Please, Dora?"

She caught something in his tone. Hesitatingly, she nodded and he took her hand. Pulling her up gently, he guided her to the dance floor where people dancing to a slow, haunting tune.

They were silent for a moment or two, the low, husky voice of the singer washing over the chattering crowd.

"Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you."

Lupin took a deep breath, taking in the feel and smell of her against him, and trying to memorise everything his senses were telling him about the woman he was holding.

"All you have to do is close your eyes

And just reach out your hands and touch me..."

She shifted against him and looked into his eyes, smiling, evidently thinking that this meant their argument was over. He guided a hand to her hair and stroked it, and she snuggled her face into his chest. Realising that all he had left was this last dance, his heart gave a lurch and to his horror he felt a burning sensation behind his eyes.

"Hold me close- don't ever let me go

More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
I'd already know."

"I love you," he said hoarsely.

He felt her smile against his chest. "I love you, too."

He felt as if his chest was going to burst; he reached up with his fingertips and hurriedly wiped away the sudden moisture at the corners of his eyes as they continued to dance. Gathering her closer to him, he took a deep breath and looked up at the starry sky visible through the marquee, saying a silent prayer of forgiveness for what he was about to do.

He struggled to control his emotions as the song ended and Tonks broke away from him, applauding with everyone else. He felt a sudden emptiness about him, as if his insides had been hollowed out. As his wife turned to him, he couldn't manage to hide his expression, nor the tears that lingered in his eyes. She gave him a look of deepest surprise.

"Remus..."

However, whatever she was going to say was suddenly interrupted as a silver lynx suddenly came bursting through the canopy and landed gracefully in front of Tonks. When it spoke, Kingsley's deep voice issued from it.

"The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming."

Lupin had enough time to glance at his wife, alarmed, before a dark figure appeared right between them.

People screamed: all around them cloaked and masked figures were appearing, the protective charms around the Burrow seemingly broken. People were Disapparating at a frantic rate, running everywhere, and generally causing mayhem.

Lupin saw Hermione and Harry, still disguised as a Weasley cousin, run past him, calling frantically for Ron, who was nowhere to be seen.

"Stupefy!" he heard Tonks shout. He turned just in time to duck as a spell came at him from the masked figure that had appeared right next to them. The figure keeled over, stunned, and Tonks turned quickly to her husband.

"Are you okay?"

Lupin nodded, glancing around at the chaos. "Stay at my back, okay?" he shouted through the din.

Tonks nodded. Standing back to back, they raised their wands.

"Protego!"

Their cry was echoed on all sides. A masked figure approached them but was unable to come too close, the shield charm protecting Lupin and Tonks holding strong.

There was a sudden loud 'crack' right near them. Lupin whipped around, ready to curse whomever it was, but a sudden shout stopped him.

"Remus! Remus! It's me - Kingsley!"

Remus lowered his wand slightly. "What's going on?" he shouted to the other man.

"The Ministry's fallen!" Kingsley yelled back. "Voldemort's taken over, the Death Eaters have control of The Ministry, Remus, it's-"

He broke off as another curse flew over their heads. Looking around, Lupin realised that most of the guests had managed to get away, but that the members of the Order were still battling fiercely with the masked and cloaked figures. Fred and George were fighting two between them, Arthur was duelling a Death Eater who looked like he'd swallowed a bottle of Skele-Gro, Bill was fighting a squat figure near the arbour, and Molly and Fleur were standing on the sidelines, desperately trying to cast protective charms around the members of the Order. They were outnumbered by two to one.

He turned back to Kingsley, but he was gone. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Kingsley had become distracted by another Death Eater, their wands flashing as they battled furiously.

Lupin heard a yell of pain and turned to find George on the floor, clutching his leg which was bent at a strange angle, while the Death Eater bore down on Fred who was now trying to battle two against one.

"Stupefy!" Lupin yelled. The Death Eater keeled backwards, stunned. From the floor George aimed his wand at the Death Eater battling his brother. The Death Eater immediately froze and toppled over backwards, as stiff as a board.

But still the flashes of light continued. Suddenly a figure jumped in front of Lupin, their wand held ready. Lupin raised his wand again but the Death Eater was too quick.

Lupin felt as if he had been punched: he soared backwards through the air, his wand flying out of his hand, landing with a crash against the fence that led to the orchard and sliding to the ground. Winded and feeling as though he had broken a few bones, he sat for a moment, stunned and quite unable to move. The cloaked figure approached him and Lupin looked around frantically for his wand.

"Where's Harry Potter?" the Death Eater demanded, closing the distance between them. Lupin remained silent, still looking quickly for his wand. He found it lying only a few feet away and snatched up it.

"I said- where's Harry Potter!" the voice said again. Lupin had been so preoccupied with trying to locate his wand that it had taken him until now to realise that he knew the voice behind the mask. He felt the anger welling up inside of him and struggled to his feet, facing Bellatrix Lestrange squarely.

"Go to hell," he said quietly. The force of his spell threw her backwards across the dance floor, and she landed with a thud in the thicket of the still raging battle. She jumped to her feet, her hood flown back, relatively unhurt. Lupin hurried forwards to continue their duel, but was hindered as someone was blasted off their feet and landed right in front of Bellatrix. With a feeling of horror, he realised it was Tonks. Somehow, without even realising it, they had become separated.

"You!" Bellatrix hissed as Tonks stirred feebly at her feet, seemingly unable to get up. "You..."

Tonks seemed to be only half-conscious. Lupin started to run towards her to try to protect her, but was suddenly thrown off his feet again as a Killing Curse cracked the floor at his feet, sending him skidding across the ground.

Macnair's mask slid off as he hurried towards Lupin. Lupin sent a curse flying at him from his position on the floor, which Macnair ducked. Lupin jumped to his feet and the pair continued to duel, neither gaining the advantage. Lupin managed to glance quickly over his shoulder at his wife and Bellatrix. Tonks had somehow managed to get to her feet, but her spells were feeble, and Bellatrix was quickly gaining the upper hand on her niece.

"The wife of the werewolf!" Bellatrix sneered, her eyes glittering manically, shooting a killing curse at Tonks, which she narrowly ducked. "Having trouble? Is that husband of yours sapping all your strength? Sucking your blood?"

She made a crude facial gesture.

He saw Tonks lift her wand higher, her eyes flashing with anger, and send a curse flying at her aunt, which connected with her chest. Bellatrix shrieked and fell to the floor, writhing in pain. He saw Tonks step over her, ready to stun her.

Suddenly there was a horrible shriek of pain. Lupin turned quickly to find Fleur on the floor, screaming. One of the masked Death Eaters stood over her, laughing manically while he performed the Cruciatus Curse on her. He saw Bill look over quickly, his face contorted with rage. He made to move towards the Death Eater, but was obstructed as two other masked figures jumped in between them and he was forced to begin duelling both of them.

"Somebody help her!" Bill yelled in desperation to the crowd at large, his wand moving furiously as he tried to fight off both Death Eaters.

Tonks moved forward. "Stupefy!" she yelled. The Death Eater who had been torturing Fleur fell forwards. Fleur rolled away, sobbing, and Ginny Weasley grabbed her by the arms, hauled her to her feet, and pulled her away from the battle.

However, saving Fleur had distracted Tonks from her opponent. Finally managing to stun Macnair, he turned just in time to see Bellatrix get to her feet and aim a spell at Tonks.

"Dora!" he bellowed. "Dora, look out!"

She turned and raised her wand, but it was too late, as jet of light from Bellatrix's wand hit her squarely in the chest. She looked surprised for a moment, then crumpled to the floor and lay quite still.

"DORA!" Lupin roared. He rammed through the battling crowds, approaching Bellatrix so fast that she didn't notice him until he was right on top of her.

"Incendio!"

Bellatrix shrieked as her robes caught fire and she tried to stamp them out. Lupin aimed his wand at her again and she toppled, stunned. Lupin skidded to a stop beside his wife and fell to his knees.

"Dora!" he shook her, but she remained motionless.

"REMUS! LOOK OUT!"

The call came from behind him, but he had no time to react. He suddenly felt as if he had been thumped violently over the head.

He slumped forwards and blackness enveloped him.

**********

Lupin's head was pounding as he opened his eyes.

"Gak..." he mumbled. His tongue seemed to be stuck to the roof of his mouth.

"Remus!" A blurry figure bent down in front of him and it took him a few seconds to realise that it was Molly Weasley.

"Grarlk..." Lupin said again. He gingerly sat up and touched the back of his head, his fingers coming away encrusted in dry blood.

Looking around, he realised that he had been lying on the Weasleys' living room floor. The Weasleys in question were scattered all around him. Fred was tending to George, whose leg looked broken. Molly was peering down at Lupin in obvious concern, while Arthur was whispering with Kingsley and Charlie in the corner, looking grave. Ginny was sitting next to her mother, trying to clean a cut above Hagrid's eye, her face pale. Lupin heard a small sobbing noise and looked over to see Bill holding a weeping Fleur, her lovely white dress thoroughly ruined, tears flowing down her face.

"What happened?" Lupin asked quietly, finally managing to unstick his tongue.

"We lost," said Molly shortly. "They finally overpowered us about ten minutes ago, just after they knocked you out. They're searching the house now."

"For what?"

"Harry."

It wasn't Molly who spoke this time, but Ginny. She turned away from Hagrid and addressed Lupin. "They've found the ghoul in Ron's bed already, they think Ron has a bad case of Spattergroit, they didn't want to get too close..."

Lupin nodded and touched the back of his head again, wincing. Molly bent forwards to examine the cut, but before she could do a thorough examination, Lupin started, his mind suddenly thrown into overdrive. One of their number was missing...

"Wait...where's Tonks?" he demanded. In his mind's eye he could see her on the dance floor, motionless, Bellatrix standing over her triumphantly...

A hush descended amongst the group assembled. Arthur stopped talking abruptly and hurried over, leaving Kingsley and Charlie watching apprehensively.

"Where is she?" Lupin demanded again. Arthur bent down next to his wife and glanced at her.

"Remus..." Molly started.

"Is she...she's not..." Lupin stared around at them wildly, imagining the worst.

"No, she's...she's alive, Remus," said Arthur hesitantly.

"Then where is she? What's happened to her?"

"They're...they've taken her for interrogation," Molly said gently.

"Interrogation?" Lupin said blankly. Then he blanched. "Oh, god..."

"I'm...she..." Arthur seemed to be at a loss as to how to proceed as Lupin stared at him, horrified.

"How was she?" Lupin demanded, resisting the urge to grab the front of Arthur's robes and shake him. "Was she conscious when they took her? Where is she now? Was she hurt? Did they..."

"Remus, calm down!" Kingsley approached them now.

"I can't calm down!" Lupin said, his voice rising. "You don't...none of you understand..." He struggled to his feet, ignoring the pounding in his head.

"Remus, there's nothing you can do!" Kingsley said, seizing the front of his robes as Lupin made to dive from the living room.

"No!" Lupin struggled against him. "You don't understand! She's pregnant! Pregnant!"

There was a ringing silence.

Lupin could suddenly hear footsteps just outside the living room. He made to move forwards again, but Kingsley grabbed his forearm just as Bellatrix Lestrange walked into the room.

"You!" Lupin snarled, struggling against Kingsley. "Where's my wife!"

Bellatrix just laughed. "Your wife and I have been getting reacquainted," she said, approaching Lupin. "The little blood traitor brat wouldn't tell me where Harry Potter was, but it was no matter." She tossed her hair. "I still had fun discovering why she would marry a filthy little half-breed like you."

She turned away from Lupin and addressed the rest of the room. "We got enough out of the little werewolf mistress to find out that Harry Potter isn't here. But be warned that servants of the Dark Lord have infiltrated each and every one of the Order's strongholds. Many of your comrades have been killed." Bellatrix eyed them all with satisfaction. Then she turned to the door and clicked her fingers. Macnair suddenly appeared in the doorway, dragging a figure behind him.

He shoved Tonks into the room and she stumbled to her knees, gasping, as tears coursed down her face. Lupin hurried forwards and bent down next to her, gathering her up in his arms.

He heard Bellatrix laughing above him and turned to her, hate etched in his features.

"She has been marked," Bellatrix said harshly, "as a blood traitor and lover of half-breeds. From now on, it's our mission to rid the world of such people. I have only spared her life as the Dark Lord wishes us to concentrate on finding Harry Potter. For now," she added viciously. "But rest assured- I will be back."

She then turned to Macnair. "Bring the next in for questioning," she said dispassionately. "One of them must know where Potter is..."

She swept from the room, laughing. Macnair started forward and grabbed Molly Weasley, who immediately began to struggle against him.

"No!" said Arthur loudly. "I'll go..."

And he walked from the room, wrenched his arm out of the grip of Macnair, and disappeared.

Immediately everyone gathered around Tonks except Molly, who stood rooted to the spot, sobbing. Charlie put an arm around her.

"Dad'll be fine, mum, you heard her, they're here on orders to question only, it'll be okay..."

But Lupin wasn't listening. His eyes were rooted to the woman on the floor in front of him. Scooping her up, he carried her to the couch and laid her gently upon it.

Tonks' eyes opened. "I didn't tell them anything," she sobbed. "She...she wanted me to tell her...but I wouldn't...I wouldn't..."

"It's okay, Tonks," Kingsley soothed.

But Tonks just continued weeping, her whole body shaking. Lupin, bent next to the couch, examined her with his eyes and hands, trying to find any physical wounds.

"Are you hurt?" Lupin demanded, but Tonks seemed to be unable to answer. Her breathing was ragged and shallow, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her eyes closed.

"Help me," Lupin flung over his shoulder at Kingsley, who immediately bent down next to him and examined Tonks.

"The Cruciatus Curse," Kingsley said immediately.

Lupin nodded. "How bad?" he asked as the others gathered anxiously around the couch.

Kingsley shook his head. "It's hard to tell, Remus, she's so out of it..."

"Remus!" Tonks' eyes suddenly flew open again, panicked. "Bellatrix said...she said she'd been to my parents' house...she said she'd murdered them..."

"Shh." Lupin stroked her hair. "It's okay, Dora, it's all okay. Just try and rest now, okay?"

Tonks still looked panicked, but managed to nod her head. Lupin exchanged a look with Kingsley that plainly said that everything was not okay, but they said nothing.

The night passed in strange spurts of time. About half an hour later Arthur returned, looking whole and relatively unscathed. Throughout the rest of the night, other members of the group were periodically called in for questioning, but no one else was put under the Cruciatus Curse, not even Lupin, who found this strange considering he was a dangerous half-breed. Tonks slept on and off, her head in Lupin's lap, shivering and shaking, drenched in a cold sweat. By early morning, most people fell into fitful dozes, leaning up against walls or each other, but Lupin remained wide awake.

It's me, he realised as the sun rose over the Burrow. They used the Cruciatus Curse on Dora to teach me a lesson. They knew it would be more painful to watch my wife suffer than to perform the curse on me...

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard several footsteps approaching the living room. He sat up straight as three Death Eaters, including Bellatrix, sauntered into the room. Most people jerked awake at once, several leaping to their feet.

"Your lives have been spared," Bellatrix sneered, "by the Dark Lord. This time."

With that, she and the other three Death Eaters moved out of the room. It took everyone a few minutes to realise that they'd left the Burrow. Tonks struggled to sit up.

"Remus!" she said. "My parents! I need to check on my parents..."

Lupin nodded. Everyone else seemed to come to their senses. Arthur turned to the group and addressed them as a whole.

"We have to check on everyone," he said. "Kingsley and I happen to know where Harry, Ron and Hermione are, I managed to send them a message last night..."

"You did?" Lupin asked, helping Tonks to her feet. Arthur nodded.

"They're at Grimmauld Place, they seem to be fine for the moment, that's what Kingsley and I were talking about before...We have to check on the other members of the Order, though. Here..." Arthur had hurried into the kitchen and was handing everyone their wands.

A few minutes later they had their answers: Deladus Diggle's house had been burned to the ground, all the other houses had been ransacked, but there didn't seem to be any fatalities...

"And Tonks," said Arthur hesitantly. Tonks, sitting at the kitchen table looking pale and wan, looked around quickly. "Your parents are fine."

Tonks stood up. "Are you sure?" she said urgently. "Are you positive they're all right? My mother and my father? Both of them?" Arthur nodded.

"They had the Cruciatus Curse used on them, but they're both okay."

Tonks sat again, tears falling freely over her robes again. "Oh. Oh, thank god. Thank god." She took a deep breath and composed herself. "I suppose it could have been worse," she said slowly. "No deaths...Harry, Ron and Hermione safe...Ta, Molly," she added, accepting the cup of tea Molly handed her.

Around her everyone was silent, taking sips from their own cups. Fleur looked wan and ill and excused herself shortly thereafter to check on her parents and lie down. Bill accompanied her, and slowly the kitchen emptied out, people going to lie down, or to check on other members of their family, until only Arthur, Molly, Tonks and Lupin remained in the kitchen.

Lupin sighed and put down his cup. "We should go," he said to Tonks, who nodded and stood up. She turned to Molly and hugged the older woman.

"See you later," she mumbled, and the two of them left the Burrow, Lupin still supporting Tonks with one arm.

**********

"So...they've been here, too."

Tonks looked dully around the living room of Ottery Cottage. Their once pleasant and cheerful home had been transformed into a wrecking ground. Chairs were overturned, stuffing had been torn out of cushions, curtains were ripped and hanging limply on their rods and all their windows had been smashed. It was obvious the Death Eaters had searched their house with vigour, leaving no stone unturned in their search for Harry.

Lupin shook his head and surveyed the damage. He bent down and picked up a vase they had been given for their wedding. It was cracked down the middle, the blue-green glass damaged beyond repair.

As he stared at the fragment, all the anger, hurt, panic, frustration and sadness he had been feeling for the past few months came rushing back, so that Lupin suddenly felt as if he were staring down at the pieces of his life.

Tonks turned to him, still pale.

"Well, I suppose it can all be put right," she said with a sigh. "I'm going to check on my parents and then we should go to bed. Cup of tea before we hit the sack?" she continued, moving towards the kitchen. "Dunno about you, but I'm knackered."

Lupin shook his head and Tonks stopped, giving him a funny look.

"What?"

"This." Lupin gestured with his hands. "Look what they've done. And you say you can just put it right?"

"Well, we can," said Tonks, looking confused.

Lupin shook his head again, frustrated. "Look at what they've done!"

Tonks turned slowly on the spot. "It won't take long to fix all this stuff," she finally said after surveying the room, sounding perplexed. "At least our house wasn't burnt down, like Dedalus's."

Lupin laughed humourlessly. "Yes, at least it wasn't burnt down," he said bitterly, turning away from her.

Tonks stared at him. "What-" she began.

"You!" he said harshly, spinning around. She looked startled as she took in his expression. "Don't you know what I've done to you?"

"Done to me..." Tonks looked lost. "What the hell have you done to me?"

"Weren't you listening back at the Burrow?" he said roughly. "Didn't you hear what Bellatrix said? 'You have been marked,'" he said, imitating Bellatrix. "You've been marked, all because you're married to me!"

She stared at him for a moment. Then she made a disgusted face. "Oh, please," she said. "Not this again."

Lupin didn't even realised he had moved forward until he felt himself seize her arms.

"Yes - this!" he exclaimed, shaking her. She stared up at him, her eyes wide.

"They'll target you!" he yelled, flinging her away from him. She stumbled a few feet away, her breathing ragged and face pale. "They'll target you, just to teach you a lesson, and to show me that I have no business marrying a witch! You're in constant danger, all the time! The wedding was just a taste of what's to come!"

"I'm going to be in danger no matter what!" said Tonks, trying to reason with him. "I'm a part of the Order, for Merlin's sake!"

"No!" Lupin's voice rose. "You're in even more danger! Bellatrix won't stop until she's killed you! Don't you get it? Don't you understand!"

He snatched up one of the last items that remained intact in their living room and hurled it at the wall: it hit with a resounding crash and shattered.

"Stop it!" Tonks screamed at him, tears pouring down her face. "Remus! Just stop it!"

But he didn't listen. His heart pounding furiously, every pent up emotion he had been feeling suddenly came streaming out of his mouth in a wild and unstoppable torrent.

"I knew this marriage was a mistake!" he said furiously. "But I let you talk me into it! I went against my better judgement, and look what happened! You almost got killed!"

"You let me talk you into it?" Tonks now looked as furious as her husband. She stalked over to where he stood and threw him around to face her. "So you never really wanted to marry me in the first place?"

"You knew I had doubts!" Lupin yelled back at her desperately.

"You proposed to me!" Tonks said incredulously.

"I know!" Lupin said, shaking his head violently. "I told you my concerns... but you wanted to go ahead anyway, you and Arthur and Molly..."

"I wanted to go ahead because I love you!" she shouted.

Lupin didn't seem to hear her. "And now...now..." His face contorted. "The child...the child..."

"WHAT child?" Tonks yelled.

"Our child!" Lupin roared back. "Didn't you ever stop to think that this child will be a half-werewolf!"

Tonks looked thunderstruck. His torrent of words seemed to be coming from nowhere. "There's no evidence that that will be the case!" she said, trying to inject some sense back into the spiralling conversation.

"Evidence? Evidence?" Lupin looked at her, his eyes flashing. "No other werewolf has ever dared to try such a thing! No other person has ever been so selfish..."

"What's so selfish about wanting a family!" Tonks said in desperation, grabbing his shoulder.

Lupin shook off her hand and began to pace, aggravated. "It will be like me, I know it will!" he said angrily. "And if that's the case...then it's better off having never existed!"

Tonks looked shocked. "Are you trying to tell me," she said slowly, "that you're having these kind of thoughts...about our child?"

Lupin stopped pacing and glared at her. "What's the point?" he said bitterly. "I couldn't protect you at the wedding, I couldn't protect you against Bellatrix Lestrange, and I'd never be able to protect our child from the shame of having a werewolf as a father."

"What's the point? What's the point?" Tonks shrieked, firing up. "The point, Remus Lupin, is that you have a wife and a child that love you! Isn't that worth anything to you?"

"A wife and child that I never wanted in the first place!" Lupin yelled back at her.

Tonks looked stunned for a moment. Then, quite suddenly, Lupin saw her hand fly across his life of vision. A loud crack reverberated around the room.

It took Lupin a moment to register that she had slapped him across the face.

Tonks looked horrified. Slowly lowered her hand, her eyes swimming with tears, her breath coming in great gasps. Slowly the silence in the room extended to breaking point, the atmosphere as heavy as cold custard.

Then, without warning, she turned and fled from the living room, her cloak whipping behind her. He heard the front door slam.

Lupin stood for a moment, stunned by the events that had just taken place, his whole body shaking. For a moment his face crumpled and it looked as if he were about to burst into tears. But then he drew himself up and his face became blank and cold. He walked slowly through the wreckage to the front door. Grabbing the knob with both hands, he made to leave. Suddenly, though, he hesitated and turned once more, taking in the living room with sad eyes, as if trying to memorise what events had taken place within its walls.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

And with that, the door swung shut silently and Lupin moved down the path, his cloak whispering softly behind him.

Authors Notes: So...What did you think? Please - let me know either way! Or...I'll have to tap dance. With spiders. And I don't wanna tap dance... *cries*