Nothings and Everythings

Nothings and Everythings
A Glass Rose Side Fic

In Castle Ravenclaw, nothing was worthy of affection and everything was held dear. It was a bleak time, especially for the peasants and servants. It was normal.

Only one hated it all. After almost seven years in the world of the living, Rowena could not grasp the simple truth that the world was, and always would be, cold and cruel. Why though? Because, for someone who thought logically, she had a deep fondness of dreaming of better things. This may be from the books she read, or perhaps just because there was nothing exciting ever happening in the castle. Then again, maybe it was because of what she would become in years not yet passed. Nothing was truly certain.

But her mother did know that her birthday was coming up soon. And she wanted to do something for her daughter. Amelia knew she was not the same person who came to this dreary castle; she was more severe and sad. Though nothing had changed the love she felt for her child. She had other jobs to do, but her first priority was her children. Eleanor and her baby Thomas were fine; they were happy with the way things were. Rowena was not. Whether it was because she was conceived in their true home in her beloved glen, or it was just because she was the eldest of the three, she did not know. Nor did it matter. Rowena was in desperate need to cheer up. And for that matter, so was Amelia.

Amelia was currently trying to look for her. She knew that Eleanor was off somewhere, probably with Danielle. Thomas was asleep in their chamber. Rowena could have been anywhere. She could be in the library, her only solitude, or perhaps she was running an errand, or just taking a calming walk around the gardens. It had to be the latter, for she had checked the library. Twice.

Biting her lip, she turned a corner and raced to the nearest window. Where was that child? Amelia scanned the area for a head of long, dark hair. Most of the villagers were light haired so she could always tell it was her child. And besides, Rowena was her daughter. She was supposed to know. Amelia was looking down at the royal gardens. It wasn't very elegant, but it was the only garden big enough to be wanted by Nanettia. It was summer and the rose bushes (practically the only plants there) were in full bloom. Rowena was getting too tall to hide behind them so it should've been easy.

Amelia decided to give up trying and do it the easy way, "ROWENA!"

Of course half the castle probably heard her, but that meant there was a fifty-fifty chance that Rowena heard too. She sighed. Rowena would come sooner or later.

-=-

Eleanor sighed, bored. She glanced at Danielle who looked equally so.

She asked, "What shall we do?"

Eleanor shrugged, "How should I know? ... Hm... you want to infuriate Rowena?"

"What does in-fur-ree-ate mean?"

"Infuriate. Like: In fury, she ate. Without she. Rowena told me to stop doing that one-day. So I think it means annoy."

"She uses too big words."

"That is because she is older," Eleanor rolled her eyes; she couldn't count how many times Rowena told her that. The fact that she couldn't count wasn't the problem either.

"But only by two years. Is that not what father said?"

"Who knows? Papa teaches her that stuff. Of course, he taught us too."

"How old are we anyway?"

"I do not know. Ask your mum."

"My mum? No, your mum!"

"Later," Eleanor waved a dismissive hand. Danielle frowned. That was something her own mother did and it was strange to see Eleanor do anything like that. Seeing the look on her friend's face, she asked, "What?"

"Ellie, you are scaring me."

"Big baby."

"Uh-uh!"

"See? You are such a baby."

"So are you." Danielle had a mind to throw her out. It was her room after all, and she was the princess. Eleanor was just common folk. Though, she had been her best friend for a while. They talked about almost everything! She didn't want to be lonely. It was lonely business, being a princess.

"Oh all right," Eleanor mumbled, "I am sorry."

"It is fine," Danielle smiled to show that it was. Eleanor followed the gesture soon after.

"So let us go infuriate Rowena!"

"All right!"

-=-

Rupert frowned worriedly. Something was not right. It was not Amelia's call for Rowena that had him concerned. Something in the air just wasn't right. Of course, it could be nothing. It was a perfect summer day. The sun was beaming down on the city and in the castle, it was warm, but shapeless wisps of clouds still hovered in the sky. It was a beautiful day, but his qualms could not be buried.

He paced back and forth, rubbing his hands together. Something was not right. He closed his eyes. But what could it be? Nothing was out of the ordinary lately. Except that Nanettia was missing. Where was she anyhow?

A piercing scream interrupted his thoughts like a knife in the heart. His eyes snapped open. That was not good. He started to run towards the sound, meeting up with one of the knights.

"Your Royal Highness," the knight bowed.

"Stop that," Rupert frowned. "What was that?"

"We are not quite sure. It came from the servants' quarters downstairs."

"The servants' quarters," Rupert repeated. It could not be Amelia or the children. He had given her a chamber in the upper level. "What is the matter then?"

"I do not know Your Highness," the man shook his head.

Rupert sighed. Knights. Sure, they would sacrifice their life for him, but when someone of no nobility is in danger, they'd not go unless they were told. It was so absurd. Whatever happened to chivalry?

"Well go on," Rupert said, irritated. "People might be in danger."

"Of course, Your Royal Highness," the man took another bow before leaving.

Rupert hated being king. Hated it. He couldn't even help his people. He didn't know the first thing about it. And it wasn't as if he was raised to do this. His elder brother Regius was the soldier. It was he who was the strategic mastermind. The diplomat. The peacemaker. Rupert was the one his mother fawned over. The one who was educated not in the art of battle or politics, but the art of words and compassion. It was bloody unfair. Why did Regius have to die? And of all people, why did he have to be born of Ravenclaw blood?

Cursing his family name, he sought another way. Everything was wrong. His life, his kingdom, his marriage. The only thing right in his life was Amelia and the children. But he couldn't even declare them his, other than in secret. Everything was all wrong.

-=-

Rowena, meanwhile, had no idea what was going on. She was taking a walk, like her mother thought. And at first it was in the gardens, but she couldn't stand being in a confined space any longer. She had to get out--even just for a little while. She made her way towards the gate. The guard kept questioning her until she took out a piece of parchment, which declared her a personal servant to the King. Not that the man could read, but there was a scripted signature that was her fathers, a symbol of a servant, and the Ravenclaw seal.

"Ah, all right then. Fine missy, but you better be back in an hour," the man told her sternly. She was, after all, a seven-year-old girl. She might've been highly intelligent for her years, but she couldn't hide her age. Or, fend herself off if robbers came.

Rowena nodded, "I will not take that long."

The man frowned in disapproval. He might've been in disbelief that a young girl like that could hold her own in an argument with an adult. Or perhaps he was a father and disapproved that anyone would let their children outside of the kingdom's walls.

Rowena hadn't gone very far. There wasn't anywhere to go, so she settled traveling around the castle once or twice. That would only take her about half an hour, so she started on doing that. She was too lost in her thoughts to sense something wrong.

She wasn't aware that it was her birthday soon. Not at all. She just knew it was sometime in summer. They didn't celebrate any of their birthdays for the simple fact that they couldn't afford it. Indeed, her thoughts were not about birth, but about death.

She wasn't thinking about killing herself either. But she was just worried over her mother. She tended to exaggerate the worse scenarios to things. That was her way of thinking logically. To think out different scenarios of what could happen. Though sometimes her imagination got the better of her.

There had been a definite change in her mother from when she was a child. Her mother used to be more outgoing and full of joy and hope. And she used to smile more too. Now, her mother spent a lot of time in their chamber. Of course, half of that was because of Thomas, but even then... her mother was more tired and lonely. It was ever since she gave birth to Thomas, she was more depressed. Though Rowena thought it was because of the glen, where her mother used to live. She loved that place. It was the only home she ever really acknowledged. Her hopes for going back there were being shattered by having another child.

Rowena constantly worried about her family. If she didn't, who would? If she didn't... they'd would die. And she believed that.

That was when Rowena had felt it. The smell of danger wasn't very distinct, but Rowena could recognize it. Something was wrong. Her head was immediately drawn towards the castle. There was... something...

Rowena looked ahead, it was only a few yards to the gate. She took off at a run.

-=-

Danielle crossed her arms in frustration, "Where could she be?"

"I do not know," Eleanor said, pouting.

"Maybe Thomas knows."

"Thomas does not know a thing."

"Oh Ellie, that is a cruel thing to say," Danielle scolded. She didn't understand why Eleanor acted so vain sometimes. It scared her. She didn't want to lose her friend. Her only true friend.

"I am sorry," Eleanor said again. She seemed to be doing that a lot. Danielle's heart froze. What if she never meant it? What if she wasn't sorry?

"Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

Danielle frowned. She had enough. "Listen," she hissed. What seemed to be a barrage of footsteps were approaching. The floor was shaking slightly. "Get out of the way!"

Eleanor was just staring ahead, staring at what was currently an empty corridor. She was snapped out of her stupor as she felt a pair of hands grip her arm and pull her in a room. She blinked at Danielle. "What is it?"

"Something is not right."

"Like Rowena would say: That, I think, is obvious."

They peered through the crack in the doorway. They could see the guards and a few knights making their way towards downstairs. But to what?

Danielle and Eleanor looked at each other and nodded. They exited the room and silently made their way to a secret passage. They found it on accident. Actually, they met inside it. Eleanor was coming from the end which came from the kitchens, and Danielle was coming from the throne room (which was where they were now heading).

-=-

When Amelia had given up trying to look for Rowena, she headed for the kitchens to get some food for Thomas. He must've been hungry by now. She was tired, but she figured it was the least she could do. She was feeling rather useless. She wasn't really needed there. The only reason she came was Rupert... but everything was destroying him. And nothing would help. Not even her.

Now she was trapped. She didn't know what had happened. She had entered the kitchens, and was asking the cook for a few scraps of bread so she and Thomas could have a snack when it occurred. There was a scream nearby, somewhere in the servants' rooms. Amelia frowned. Something awful was going on, and she was at the worse place to be.

A servant girl burst in the room, panting and heaving. She could barely get out the words, "There... Is... a... Fire!"

Then, it just got worse as the door behind the girl burst into flames. Amelia's eyes grew wide. This wasn't good.

-=-

Rupert had gone to check their chamber before going down, to make sure. But they weren't there. Just Thomas, who was sleeping peacefully underneath the covers. Rupert bit his lip. Oh God. They were in trouble, he knew it.

Rupert hurried to Thomas, carefully shaking him awake. He groggily opened his eyes. Puzzlement shone on his face.

"Come Thomas... we must get you to safety... and then we must find your mother and sisters." Thomas nodded slowly. He had always been more obedient than the girls.

Rupert sighed. Where could they be?

-=-

Rowena ran as fast as she could through the city's busy streets. It was hard in the dress she was wearing. Nanettia had recently ordered servants who ran errands to deliver messages or packages in or out to wear "decent" clothes. Rowena hadn't heard anything more stupid. Especially forcing one to wear this itchy, rough undergarment inside. Her mother had spelled it to be softer and smoother, and also tried her best to lighten the color and weight of the fabric but it was still somewhat heavy. It dragged her down.

She was running into people and tripping as she went, but she got right back up. There was no time to worry about her own health. Her family might've been in danger. There were many times she almost ran straight into something that could seriously injure herself, but she paced herself and avoided it, then ran again. As she came nearer, she smelled it: burning.

She stopped suddenly, her eyes growing wide. No, it couldn't be. That couldn't possibly...

Shaking the thought out of her head, she continued running as hard as she could. She slammed into the door and started pounding. "Let me in! Let me in!"

A thousand possibilities ran through her head. Each one more gruesome than the next. "Oh God, please let me in!"

Salty tears made their way down her cheeks and she could almost taste it in her mouth. Bitter and desperate tears.

Somehow, the door gave and it opened. Though it seemed to take forever. There wasn't anyone behind the doors. She coughed. It was stuffy and hard to breathe suddenly. Muffled screams reached her ears and she knew where it was coming from.

Racing towards the kitchens and the servants quarters, she tried not to fall. There wasn't any time. When she rounded a corner to the corridor that led there, smoke was escaping through the cracks and even the door was starting to burn. She couldn't get through there. Her heart was pounding readily and painfully loud. There had a to be another way. There just had to be!

She turned and tried to go to the back way. She was worried she wouldn't get there in time. The back way was around on the other side. It would take forever. As she burst through a corridor and passed paintings, she heard a funny sound. She stopped suddenly. And stared at one of the paintings. It was one of the rather old ones, one that came from Nanettia's family. It was one of a fancy looking woman, draped with jewelry and family heirlooms. As Rowena was looking at it, she felt a shiver run down her back, and her neck burn as if someone was staring straight at her.

Turning a full two hundred seventy degrees, she scanned the area. No one was there. She looked at the painting again. There was something about it... Frowning heavily, she pushed it aside. It wasn't an easy task--it was a rather large painting with a heavy frame. What was revealed to her was a hole. It wasn't big enough to walk through but one could climb over and into it...It being a passage of some sort.

That's when she heard it again. It was someone, or some people, coughing harshly. It wasn't loud enough to be adults either. She quickly hurried in and followed the sound. The passage was smaller than she estimated and she had to crawl. The stone was hard and rough against her palms and knees. The closer she got, the hotter and stuffier it became. She ignored it until she could see them.

It was Eleanor and Danielle.

-=-

Eleanor couldn't breathe. It was so hot. It smelled like smoke too. She wasn't really a pessimistic person, but she felt like she was going to die. Each breath she took was fast and could not satisfy her need of fresh air. Indeed, the harder she tried to get air, the more she felt like suffocating. She tried to look at Danielle who appeared to be in the same condition, if not worse.

In truth, Danielle thought she would collapse any second. She couldn't take it anymore. She was just about to give up when she heard someone call their names. She whipped around and saw a figure in blue. It was Rowena.

She had come to save them. Her hair was messier than they remembered from that morning and her eyes were filled with worry. "Do not worry," she whispered to them. Her breathing was more evenly and calmer than theirs and both were envious.

They felt her hands on their wrists. They were unusually cold and clammy. Eleanor tried to give her a perplexed look, but she just ended up looking like she was in pain. Rowena guided them back and helped them out of the hole.

She wasn't very happy with them. "What were you two doing in there?"

"We wanted to know what was happening," Danielle admitted. "That is all."

Rowena sighed, a bit of relief flashing on her face. "Go outside, it will be safer there." The two nodded.

"All right," Eleanor said. "What are you going to do?"

"I am going to try to find mother."

"What can you do?"

"I do not know."

"But--"

"Stop that. That is my job."

The two girls gave a small smile, at least Rowena was aware when she was a pain.

"Now, you two--go!"

They gave each other a look, took each other's hands and ran.

-=-

Rowena was dimly aware that she might not be able to get to the other side, but she kept on crawling anyway. It amazed her how Eleanor and Danielle could keep a secret like this. And it made her angry that they didn't get help and showed someone the passage, if one was willing to call it that.

She put up a strong front for them, so they wouldn't panic, but now she could hardly breathe herself. It made her feel like she was in pan above a fire. Her world was spinning but she kept going. If her mother was there... if anyone was there... she had to save them.

It didn't matter if she was a child. It didn't matter if she'd lose her life in the process. She wasn't important. No one in history would remember her anyway, so why not lose your life for something noble as someone else's life?

She reached the end, and it was a wooden door. She had never seen a door that small in the kitchen. Her head was spinning faster.

Oh lord, she thought. I have to get out...

-=-

Amelia was coughing violently with the rest of them. The whole kitchen was setting fire. She started to think horrible things. What if it was spreading throughout the entire castle? What if Rupert and her children were still inside? It gave her a headache just thinking about it. As if she wasn't already in so much danger.

"What are we to do?" A servant cried in terror.

I do not know, Amelia answered in her head. It was throbbing with much pain.

A sudden pounding started. It wasn't in her head, but rather behind one of the draperies on the back wall where the fire had yet reached.

"What is that?"

"PLEASE! Get me out!"

Amelia's ears pricked. That was Rowena's voice. She hurried as fast she could to the sound, keeping low from all the smoke filling up the room. Amelia pushed the drapes aside and saw a wooden door. It was pushing towards her little by little.

"Rose!" She responded with much effort. "Do not come in here!"

"I cannot go back!" Rowena's muffled voice desperately answered.

Amelia watched in amazement a blue light unexpectedly brightly penetrated through the cracks. The door began to dissolve and Rowena collapsed in front of her, a faint blue glow around her.

"Rowena!" She gasped.

Rowena slowly opened her eyes. Amelia knew her head must have been in as much pain as she, if not more. Besides the pain, there was horror and fear.

The faint glow started to grow brighter, as much as the light she saw. No one but her notice however. Amelia's eye widened as a light flowed out of her heart, a bright ball of light. As the light started to float up, Rowena grew paler. When it came above her head, Rowena brought her hands to it and cover it without actually touching it.

A cold wind started to blow and Amelia suddenly fell to her knees and collapsed.

-=-

Rupert stared with sympathy at his daughter, lying in the bed. She was softly stirring, her face now flushed, unlike how they found her. She was pale and freezing, unlike all of those around her who seemed to be sleeping. The whole bottom floor was a mess, and a few lives were lost, but it was a mystery how Rowena got there. Or why she hadn't awoken.

Amelia had gotten up soon after he reached the kitchens. The first thing she had seen was Rowena frozen on her knees, her head looking above. Rupert immediately had them transported to their room.

Rowena hadn't opened her eyes for days. Rupert knew she couldn't last any longer without any food or water. He had checked up on them, concern written all over his face. Amelia was gently stroking her cheeks, saying comforting words. Rupert wasn't sure if she heard.

"You were very brave my Rose," Amelia said. "You saved us. I know it."

Rupert was sure of it, though he had not witnessed it himself. He was outside, trying to evacuate the people inside. Thomas had been left in the care of one of the ladies-in-waiting. He was surprised to see Danielle and Eleanor coming out and having trouble breathing. When he asked them was wrong, they replied that Rowena was going back in. Rupert didn't know what that meant, but he felt a sort of cooling cold around him before they went to inspect the fire. But found there was none. At least, not anymore.

Rowena moaned and he made his way to the bed. She opened her eyes quickly, blinking many time before seeing them. But she looked frightened and lost.

"Leave me alone," she cried, tears starting to flow. She backed away. "Leave me alone," she repeated in barely a whisper. It was more addressed to herself than to anyone else.

"She does not remember," Amelia stated flatly. Rupert looked at her, he had never seen her so hopeless before. "Anything."

-=-

Rowena would eventually find most of her memory returned, but bits and pieces were gone for good. For months, she could not remember any of her siblings. Or her father. She had oftened cried until Amelia stopped her.

To never remind her of that traumatizing event, Amelia had never celebrated her birthday and said she was born in the winter instead.

It seemed to fit her more besides. Rowena never did go outside the castle anymore, and she couldn't remember what happened or whatever it was she did, but she was worried. She didn't want to forget, though it might've been for the best. She was troubled by the thought of ever forgetting again.

She never considered that what she did wasn't normal for magical folks. She never suspected that she would be remembered. She never did lose her memory until old age had taken over her.

But she did know that she feared death. She never wanted it to witness it. Though that wasn't her choice.