Karma

Karma

He stood watching her, his body carefully hidden in the foliage of the age old forest. There she was, back at the same place that they fought only a few days prior. The battle that was so fresh in both their minds, but seeming as if it happened a lifetime ago. And still she stood, not 50 feet away from him, past the tall grass of the clearing that whipped towards the east as the wind blew off the sea. Standing, staring off into the expanse of water, atop the cliff which only a mere foot from her jutted away to meet the sea angrily where it washed ashore upon the many jagged rocks. There she was, perched upon the pedestal where just two days ago, they both saw him fall.

Silently he stared at her, almost willing her in his mind to turn around. He watched the wind turn the long chocolate locks that cascaded down her back savage, easily being tossed about in the summer breeze. He saw how wisps of curls scattered across her face, some catching on the soft protrusion that was her nose, but yet she made no effort to brush these pieces away. Still she stood, unmoving, illuminated by the setting sun, her tanned skin accentuated by the plain white sundress she wore which fluttered about her legs, intertwining itself among her slender limbs.

She stood oblivious to a world that was still revolving around her, staring off into the great expanse of sea that lay in front of her. Somewhere out there, across the Channel, were people who were still alive inside, still out living their life, unaware of the changes in the world.

Her chestnut eyes were suddenly hidden, as her lids squeezed shut in a desperate attempt to steam the flow of tears that threatened to slide down her cheek. Still she stood, feeling the wind whip through her being, winds that whispered to her, threatening to take her away with them, with promises of a better world.

Her mind was a constant slideshow that played over and over again the images of the past few days. Faster and faster the pictures went through her head, becoming a blur of colours and voices shouting out to her. The looks of horror on all their faces, the tear stained cheeks and the panic wrought eyes. The blaming glares, screaming silently at her asking her why she was still here, and he wasn't. Demanding that she turn back time, and stop his sacrifice of his life for hers. And through it all came the screams from that night that she had memorized, the high-pitched tune that sung unmercifully through her mind as if it would never end. And then, above this all came the taunting voice from that very day after the proceedings, saying defiantly, 'It's not your fault,' coupled with a glimpse of sad, puffy red eyes, that mirrored the hypocritical sympathy and pity of all the others.

And yet no tears had fallen from her eyes.

A twig snapped behind her. Her eyes flew open, and the harsh sea winds coated with a frosty bite, wiped away all traces of her unfallen tears. Slowly, as if she was afraid of what, or who, might be there, she turned around. For the first time in days a smile graced her face, however sparse it was, her eyes - rid of pain and anguish, softened. She drunk in the sight of him, his own hair, startling blonde, now being tossed about carelessly in the wind, tickling his forehead. His gray eyes were downcast, a sad faraway look to them. His pale ivory skin was taunt, as if stretched over a body a few sizes to big. The clothing he wore hung limply off his frame, the red of his shirt long since faded away, partnered with gray pants that may have some day once been a crisp black.

Here he was, the one person she knew could understand.

His voice rang out in the silence. "I'm going away," he said in a dull, expressionless tone, his eyes not meeting hers.

She was not surprised, knowing this day was inevitable, somehow knowing the way things would turn out.

"I will come with you," was all she could reply.

"No." he said forcefully. "I am going myself, alone. I just came to say goodbye to you and.. have a nice life." He stuttered over his final goodbye, his eyes finally looking up, seeking hers, pleading silently with her.

"But, where are you going to go?" she questioned in a rush, laughing suddenly like it was all one big joke. It came out cold and hollow, so unlike the hearty laughs and girlish giggles that would have emitted from her only a week past.

"I don't know," he replied honestly. "It doesn't matter. I have to go away from here, and I will never be coming back."

With that he turned around, and was immediately swallowed up by the forest. One word formed on her lips, a question she knew the answer to, but didn't want to accept the truth. "Why..." she whispered in a voice barely audible to even herself.

She turned around then, and again stared aimlessly out at the sea, all reality ripped from her. 'This isn't real..' The past few days must have been just a dream, this was all just a dream. And she would wake up with him beside her, and the others happy, healthy, alive.

She could feel someone behind her, staring at her with earnest. Of course! It must be a joke, it has all been a joke, just some lesson that they planned out for her, not real. He wasn't truly gone.

A smile broke out onto her face, a smug little look overcoming her features. She slowly turned around, ready to lash out at him for playing such a cruel trick on her. She look out across the forest. Then, her face fell, and as realization hit her she sunk to the ground. She pulled her grass stained knees to her chest and buried her head between them. As heart wrenching sobs finally overtook her, reality came and slapped her in the face. Another voice flashed through her mind, one she had tried to lock away with logic telling herself that her fiery friend, both in appearance and nature, was just overcome with grief.

'It's karma you know. He died for you, and now you will die on the inside for him'