Dumbledore's Man

Dumbledore's Man
by jynx67

"Dumbledore's man through and through."

Yes, I am and always will be dedicated to the one man who guided me through the last six years of my life. He was the one man who believed in me, who treated me like an adult. He'd actually been watching over me since I was fourteen months old and my parents were taken from me. He was the one who believed I could become the best Wizard and take out Voldemort.

But now he's gone.

And I did nothing to stop it.

I couldn't do anything. I was stuck in one place. I couldn't even scream when he fell. It was quite a shock to watch the only man you ever looked up to be killed with two small words.

Avada K...

I hate those words. I can't even say them anymore. They took him away from me right when we were making progress. We'd just returned with the second Horcrux. Two of seven. I can hardly believe he's gone. This is worse than Sirius' death. This will affect so many people. The school; what will happen to the school?

I remember the first day I arrived at Hogwarts. Everything seemed so incredible. Dumbledore seemed so strong and wise. I knew I would learn much from that man. I did, but it was all too late. It has taken me this long to finally realize the subtle hints he'd been giving me for five years.

Help is available to those who ask for it.

How many times had I heard him say that? But I've always been too pigheaded, much like my father from what I'm told. It wasn't until he asked me to help him did I realize that I should have done the same. But no, I've been taking it all upon myself. After all, the prophecy was about me.

Maybe I am self-centered. I'm sure the new Minister of Magic, Scrimgeour, really thinks that since I won't become his "poster boy". I would never do anything for the Ministry. They've been a thorn in my side since the beginning of my third year. To think that Fudge never believed that Voldemort was back. What a delusional idiot.

Maybe I do think only of myself. That's not so bad if everyone around you always gets hurt when you care for them.

Like Ginny Weasley.

She is the most beautiful girl I've ever known. Even when I told her I was breaking up with her, she took it so well. I hope she understands. She's already been hurt before and I never want that to happen again. Beautiful, strong Ginny Weasley. If things work out for the best, I promise I will return to you.

Sorry about the tear stain.

Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, the one man who protected me from the time of my parents´ death until.... until I couldn't protect him. We still had so much to do. I was so scared feeding him the poison. I will have nightmares from hearing him scream. Why did he put me in a full body bind? Why?

And why did he keep insisting that he needed Snape? I've said all along that Snape wasn't on our side. He PROVED it to me when he... I can't even say it. But still everyone believed he wasn't a traitor. Well, they can't say that now, can they? I've a few choice words I'd like to say, but I will refrain from using them until I see his face.

And what about Draco? I seriously did not mean to nearly kill him. I was angry and he is my enemy, yes, but why did that spell come to mind? Myrtle used to be infatuated with me, but now I'm sure she hates me.

The look in Draco's eyes when Dumbledore confronted him was... one of pure fear. Dumbledore just knew he wouldn't do it. Does that mean there is good in Draco? Perhaps he's just a scared little boy... like the rest of us. Though I'm not scared anymore. I have a mission; to rid the world of Voldemort and his followers. I have to stop him.

I wish Sirius was here. See, this is why I can't stay with Ginny. Everyone I've loved has been ripped from me. First my parents, then Sirius and now Dumbledore. I'm afraid to love now, at least until this is over. I really want this to be over.

I've never been to a Wizard funeral before. We didn't even have a service for Sirius. I feel sorry for Remus, though. He left for Greyback's right after it happened. He had no time to grieve. I can't believe he did it either, especially when he found out that it was Greyback who had bitten him. If I were Remus, I would have killed him on the spot.

Remus and Tonks.

I never saw that one coming. I thought Tonks was just upset with Sirius' death, like I was. But no, she was deathly worried about Remus. How odd, really. I knew they'd worked together, but I never expected... Perhaps now they will have a chance to grieve together.

Dumbledore would have liked the funeral. Everyone was there who supported him as well as the arse-kissers from the Ministry who were there only to be seen. Even Madame Maxine came all the way from France. Luna pushed Neville down from the hospital in a wheelchair. I was glad to see him. He's been incredibly brave recently, so unlike the nervous Neville from our first year. Even the Centaurs and Merfolk were there.

The ceremony was boring, except when the Centaurs fired a volley of arrows in Dumbledore's honor. I still can't believe Umbridge came. It was really cool when Dumbledore's body erupted into white flame and flew off in the shape of a Phoenix.

I wonder if that meant anything, especially with the way the older people reacted?

I actually think the most painful thing that happened was having to hear Fawkes cry. So sad, the poor Phoenix.... wait. Phoenix's are reborn. Dumbledore's Patronus was a Phoenix. What if?

I remember that first time in Dumbledore's office. Fawkes looked so brilliant and suddenly, he burst into flames and became ashes. Dumbledore told me not to worry; Phoenix's are reborn out of the ashes. I wonder if that happened to him. I almost hope so, because I am going to miss him so much.

But now I must go on. I have to find the other Horcrux and defeat Voldemort so my parents, Cedric, Sirius, Dumbledore and even Bertha Jorkins and Frank Bryce can rest in peace. He'd want me to do this, finish what we started. Ron and Hermione seem to want to tag along. I'm not sure that's such a good idea. I don't want them hurt either.

Albus Dumbledore, former Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Wizard, Founder and Secret Keeper of the Order of the Phoenix, former Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, and also Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot (demoted).

There are so many who will miss you, Headmaster. Let us hope this is not the end of Hogwarts. For as Minister Scrimgeour says, I am Dumbledore's man through and through.

***************

Harry read over the parchment several times, letting it seep into his mind. Thankfully neither Hermione nor Ron were there. He pulled out his wand and muttered "Incendio" watching it burst into flames. It burned into a pile of ash on top of his desk. "And from the ashes, the Phoenix shall be reborn."