Alone

Alone

Alone. It seems so simple, doesn't it? Haven't you ever wanted to be alone? Maybe, if your parents were screaming at each other, your girlfriend or boyfriend left you, or maybe your pet died? Same with me. But it wasn't my parents screaming, it was me, and my friends, as our world fell apart. And it wasn't my girlfriend or boyfriend that left; it was my family, my friends, and my life. And it wasn't my pet that died, it was my friends, acquaintances, probably half the people I ever knew.

I'm alone now. I don't have to be. I could be out celebrating, with most of the wizarding world about the death of Voldemort. Or I could be mourning with the rest about the death of Dumbledore, Ginny Weasley, Tonks, Mad-Eye Moody and all the others who were lost in the war. No, I chose to be alone. It seems I deserve to be alone. After the war it seems hard to find a purpose. I chose to be alone.

My friends, the ones that survived the war, are together, mourning for losses and cheering for new beginnings. I suppose they've forgotten me, or are just trying to put me behind them. I don't think they want to, I think they know they have to. This war has taken up so much of my life, of my childhood and my adulthood, it seems like I caused it all.

Everyone is trying to forget that I exist, that I ever did exist. But they can't. No matter how much they try and pretend what I did didn't happen, they know it did. And they'll never forget. That's why I'm alone. Because everyone wants to believe that I never was a part of their lives, but I was. They know the truth, so I'm alone.

You know, it's kind of funny. I mean, I was supposed to be savior. Ha. Some savior I turned out to be. I don't think I saved anything. Well, maybe I did. I suppose I saved them all from something. It just wasn't whom I was supposed to be saving them from. I was saving them from me. And I didn't even do that. They certainly didn't seem very safe when... well, it happened.

I don't think I deserve to be a part of this world anymore. After what I did, I don't think anyone wants me to be a part of this world. Everyone would rather I was gone. So maybe I should go. It wouldn't be hard, you know. I mean, there's a wand in my pocket and it's not hard to use. God knows I've used it before.

So why don't I just end it? I could. No one would know. No one would notice. No one would even care. I would finally be alone. No more disturbances, no more fighting, no more pretending I don't exist. It wouldn't hurt or anything, although if it did I suppose I'd deserve it. It's so simple, you know? Just a quick wave a wand, and I could vanish from this Earth forever. I could make everyone happy, with just a simple wave of a wand.

So I'm alone. Nobody's trying to forgive me for what happened, and no one is going to. Nobody wants to. Why would they? It's not forgivable. I guess I'm going to be alone forever. So I'm not going to stay. There's no point in staying and pretending not to exist. It's easier just not to exist.

"I'll finally be alone..."

The End