Out of the Shadows

Hermione fumed as she walked down the hall. Ron was unbelievable! Couldn't he see how unreasonable he was being? Though how she could plausibly expect Ron to see reason at this point was beyond her. Blast you, Ron, she thought. How am I supposed to keep ahead in my classwork if I can't focus on my studies?

As she continued on her way to Gryffindor tower, she sighed and absently pulled out the Marauder's Map, making sure no one else was around in the hallway. Harry had asked her to hold onto the map for him while he was at Quidditch practice because recently someone had been messing with Harry's things in the change room and he felt the map should be kept in safe hands. How the map was any safer in Hermione's pocket was a mystery to her, but she'd learned long ago not to antagonize Harry before practice.

Suddenly, Hermione stopped in her tracks. There, on the map, were two unlikely names, together...Draco Malfoy and Moaning Myrtle? Clustered in the boys' bathroom on the sixth floor? Several minutes passed as Hermione considered her options. Despite her logic telling her not to stick her nose where it didn't belong, her curiosity got the better of her as she promptly turned around, heading back towards the staircase that would take her down to the sixth floor.

As she approached the bathroom, she hesitated, looking at the map again. There was her name, right next to Draco's and Myrtle's. Hearing Draco's muffled voice through the bathroom door, Hermione slowly crept towards it and inched the door open. She thought she heard him...sob? No, that wasn't possible.

"I can't do it..." Draco was saying. "I can't...It won't work...and unless I do it soon...he says he'll kill me..." Hermione edged a bit further into the bathroom, trying to get a glimpse of Draco. There he was, standing at the sink, gripping it tightly with both his hands. She looked up into the cracked mirror in front of the sink and saw Draco's reflection, which showed tears freely streaming down his face. For a moment she was so stunned she froze completely. She had never seen such an unguarded, open expression on Draco Malfoy's face like this ever before. Vulnerable. Helpless. She clasped a hand over her mouth to muffle her involuntary gasp of surprise, but she was too late.

Hearing the noise by the door, Draco spun around, startled, and immediately pulled out his wand.

"You!" Draco shouted, incensed. That expression Hermione had seen on his face moments ago had completely vanished, replaced with Draco's customary scowl. "What do you think you're doing in here? What do you want?"

Hermione held her hands up in front of her in a supplicating gesture. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to...I heard voices-"

"What did you hear?" Draco demanded. "Whatever you think you heard...it doesn't mean anything." He advanced on her, wand still drawn. "You're a smart girl - for a mudblood, anyway. I'm sure you understand my meaning?" He pressed his wand into her neck with light pressure.

Hermione took a deep breath, closing her eyes and calming herself down. She thought of the vulnerability she had just witnessed, and she recalled the feelings of pity and concern that had passed through her. When she opened her eyes again and found a wavering Draco still holding his wand at her neck, she looked him straight in the eye.

"Yes, Draco, I do understand. I understand that sometimes we have to do things we don't really want to do, or we can't say things we want to say. I understand that sometimes this forces us to be on our own, and that sometimes we feel like there isn't anyone we can talk to about it. And I'm telling you that there's always help available if you're willing to ask for it. And maybe not from where you'd expect."

Draco's scowl flickered momentarily. "What are you-"

"I'm always here to help!" Myrtle interjected. Draco looked startled and dropped his wand arm back down; he'd forgotten that Myrtle was still there. He shook his head a bit as if to clear his mind.

"Look, just watch yourself, Granger," he said sharply, glaring at her. "I'm sure you're planning to run off and tell Potter and Weasley all about what you think you know, but I would reconsider if I were you." He turned and abruptly left the bathroom.

Hermione stood there for a few more minutes, blinking, gathering her composure. Suddenly, Hermione realized there was somewhere she needed to be. How long had she been in here? Glancing at the wall clock, she rushed back out to the corridor; she was late for a Slug Club meeting in Slughorn's office.

As she raced to his office, her thoughts were whizzing through her mind just as quickly. Exactly what had just happened? What had she just witnessed? Draco had assumed she would want to tell Harry and Ron about it, but she wasn't so sure herself. Harry didn't need any more reason to be suspicious of Draco, and Ron...well, Ron was Ron. She didn't really want to talk to him at all, at the moment. And Draco had been crying...no, they didn't need to know about that, and she hadn't learned anything more from the encounter than they'd already known. No, it would probably be better to keep this to herself. She came around the corner to Slughorn's office, out of breath and flushed, and stopped abruptly. Harry and Ron were there, outside the door.

"Hi, Hermione," Harry greeted her, uncertainly. He glanced surreptitiously between Ron and her; the tension there was palpable. "Where have you been?"

"Probably off snogging McLaggen again, from the look of it," Ron muttered to Harry, under the pretence that he thought Hermione couldn't hear him. "He just got here a minute ago, too."

Hermione chose to ignore this and looked over to Harry awkwardly. "Ready to go in, Harry?" she asked, and she and Harry headed into Slughorn's office, leaving Ron to continue muttering to himself out in the hall and doing poor imitations of McLaggen.

The next day in Potions class, Harry sat with Ron while Hermione chose to sit with Ernie MacMillan instead, whose desk was conveniently facing away from Ron and Harry's, where Ron was glaring daggers into her back. When she saw Draco saunter into the classroom with the other Slytherins, she couldn't help staring at him. She'd been thinking about their encounter in the boys' bathroom since yesterday and couldn't figure out why it bothered her so much. Something about that meeting had thrown her off, and she didn't know what it was.

"Miss Granger, that potion doesn't look quite right," Slughorn said, jolting Hermione out of her ruminations. It was a little later on in the class and Hermione hadn't been giving her concoctions her usual level of attention, being too preoccupied with shooting covert glances at Draco between adding ingredients to her potions. "Are you sure you're feeling all right, dear?" Slughorn continued.

"Sorry, Professor. Yes, I think I may be coming down with a bit of something. May I please be excused?" Hermione asked, trying to act normal.

"Yes, of course, Miss Granger," Slughorn agreed. "You should go and see Madam Pomfrey."

Hermione nodded in thanks and gathered up her things. As she passed near the door of the classroom, Draco bumped into her shoulder. "Watch yourself, Granger!" he said loudly so that those closest to him could hear. "Something on your mind, Granger?" he hissed to her, under his breath. "Don't think I haven't noticed you staring at me. Meet me by the tapestry on the third floor after dinner, and come alone." She hesitated, but after a moment she nodded almost imperceptibly and continued on, willing her steps not to falter.

At dinner, disgustedly watching Ron stuff another bread roll into his mouth, Hermione got up, mumbling an excuse of some sort to Harry about needing to research something in the library for Ancient Runes. As she made her way to the third floor, she wondered what would happen at this meeting. She really had no idea what Draco would have to say to her, or whether meeting with him was actually a good idea. She pressed on regardless; she had to find out what he would say, and besides, she would never give him the satisfaction of knowing that she was nervous about meeting him.

When she arrived by the tapestry, he was already there, leaning on the wall nonchalantly. Hermione had to admit to herself that he pulled off the cool, casual stance rather well. "Nice of you to finally show, Granger," he drawled as she approached.

"You're the one who demanded this meeting, Malfoy," Hermione pointed out irritably, "so don't pretend like you're doing me any favours." The hallway was quite deserted at this time of day; most of the students would still be finishing their meals or be heading back to their house common rooms now.

Draco looked her in the eye, moving to stand upright. "So I suppose, since Potty and Weasel haven't tried to hex me with anything since yesterday, that I can assume you didn't tell your little friends about our chat yesterday. Why is that, exactly, Granger?"

Hermione looked away. "I...well, honestly, I don't really know why. They just...didn't really need to know, that's all. Sometimes it's better that I keep some things to myself. Besides, I'm sure they already suspect you're up to no good. What more would I have had to tell them?"

Draco snorted. "Right. More like you've finally learned to pay attention when I tell you not to do something."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "No, more like I don't respond to empty threats. If you'd been planning to do something to me, Draco, you'd have done it by now. You had no reason to think I wouldn't tell Harry and Ron what happened."

"Or maybe," Draco sneered, "you didn't want to tell them because you thought they'd interpret it wrong, meeting me alone in the boys' bathroom. Is that it, Granger? You don't want them to know about your little crush on me?"

"Oh, don't flatter yourself," Hermione shot back, her cheeks reddening slightly. "Your bravado isn't fooling me for a second, by the way. Do you not remember what I witnessed yesterday?" Draco's sneer faltered a bit. "And just so you know," Hermione continued, "I would never waste my time longing for you to love me. You aren't worth the thought."

Draco stepped closer to her, closer than she was comfortable with. She tried not to show her uneasiness at his proximity.

"Who said anything about love?" he said. He didn't look as composed as he normally did, but his smirk was the same familiar one as usual. "Do you really think that's what people meet up in covert places for?"

Hermione gasped. "I...I have to go," she said quickly, turning. "I won't be meeting with you again. I have better things to do with my time." And with that she started walking briskly up the hall.

About halfway up the hall, however, she overheard something that made her stop abruptly and head back the way she'd come.

"I'm not worth the thought," Draco had muttered to himself, leaning on the wall again, with his head down. "It's true. She's right. They're all right."

Hermione approached him again, without him noticing. "Draco?" she said softly, tentatively placing a hand on his shoulder.

When he turned towards her, she was shocked by the change in his demeanour. The look on his face was one of pure misery. "You're right. Nothing of what I do will make any difference. I'm just wasting my time. Everyone's time. Yours." He looked at her warily. "What is it that you want from me, Granger?"

"I...I don't want anything, Draco; really. You know," she said cautiously, "I don't know if you recall what I said about help coming from unexpected sources, but...my offer does still stand. If you need to talk about anything..."

Shoving her hand away from his shoulder, Draco stepped back. "What makes you think I have anything I need to talk about?" he shouted angrily. "Least of all, why would I want to talk to you?"

Hermione sighed. "Fine, Draco. Have it your way. You know where you can find me." She started to leave again.

"I'm sorry," she heard Draco say quietly this time as she walked away. She paused momentarily, considering stopping again, but then shook her head and continued on her way hurriedly before she could change her mind again.

Later, Hermione was in the Gryffindor common room, working on her Ancient Runes assignment while Harry sat by the fireplace thinking faraway thoughts and Ron snored steadily in the armchair next to Harry's. Her thoughts were jumbled; she couldn't seem to get the point of her paragraph across clearly and she'd already magically erased her sentences twice. She sighed and put down her quill, deciding to go to bed early. She said good night to Harry and headed up to the dormitory.

All night, she couldn't fall asleep; there were so many things on her mind that she could not relax. What was Draco up to? Did he really need help? What if he was up to something really horrible? Should she tell Harry about any of this? No, better not. She wondered who'd shaken Draco up so badly that his calm and confident exterior was showing signs of slipping. What had he meant about her having a crush on him? That was ridiculous...wasn't it? This was Draco Malfoy, after all. He was joking about that, right? He had to be. Although, with the events of the past two days, Hermione could not seem to get Draco Malfoy out of her mind.

In the morning, Hermione was the first one up, as usual, despite her sleepless night. She groaned sleepily and got dressed, deciding an early-morning walk outside in front of the school would help her clear her head.

She'd been walking around for nearly an hour, lost in her thoughts, when she stopped by a large rock to sit down. That's it, she resolved to herself. I am not going to think about Draco Malfoy any longer. Honestly, Hermione. What are you thinking?

"Hermione," she heard Draco's voice say quietly, from somewhere close by. She had to be imagining things. She turned, and was surprised to note that Draco was actually there, standing next to her rock. She closed her eyes in disbelief. Then she opened them again slowly. Nope, he was still there.

"Draco?" She stood up, facing him.

"I saw you through the window," he told her quickly, avoiding her gaze. "And I...I just..." he trailed off.

"Draco, look at me," she said firmly. He hesitated, then slowly brought his eyes up to look at hers. "You asked me what I want from you. I think the question here is this: what do you want from me?"

"I don't...I..."

"What do you want?" she asked again, gently. She put her hand on his shoulder again, like she had done the night before.

"I don't want anything, I don't need...all I need is..."

"What do you need, Draco?" she asked.

"You," he whispered finally. "I need you. You're the only one who's even bothered to talk to me for more than five minutes all year, Hermione. Crabbe and Goyle are useless, and with my father in Azkaban...I just...it's been hard, and people are expecting things from me... I won't always be able to tell you what I'm up to, I just can't...there are so many reasons why I can't, but I'm sure you already know why. But just knowing that you'll be there, if I need to talk, or..."

"Or what?" she whispered back.

"Or if I need to do this," he said, grasping her head in his hands and kissing her. Hermione was so stunned that for a moment she didn't respond; then, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back fervently.

When they pulled apart, Hermione was out of breath. "What...what is this, Draco?" she rasped.

"I don't know," Draco admitted. "I've been thinking differently about you ever since that day you punched me in the face all those years ago." He smiled at her softly, noting her bewildered expression. "Hell of a thing to change somebody's mind about somebody else, isn't it?"

Hermione smiled, recalling the incident with fondness. "Draco...I don't think I need to tell you that this is going to get complicated."

Draco grinned. "I'm counting on it. In fact, I look forward to it."

"I don't really know what this all means, or where it's going..."

"Me neither, believe me." He grasped her hand with his. "Do you mind...what do you say we keep this to ourselves? I can think of a few people who would want to stop this, whatever it is. I have to be honest, Hermione...being with me won't be easy, and I think there might be trouble for you if word gets out..."

"What did I tell you?" Hermione said, squeezing his hand softly. "Some things are better when I keep them to myself." She smiled at him and, with one more kiss, they walked back towards Hogwarts Castle, hand in hand, hearing the early-morning sounds of nature around them but not listening to any of them in the slightest.