Marauders Redux

Chapter 6: The Cool Teacher

With a jolt, Remus felt his feet strike a hard floor. He tumbled out of the shooting green flames to find himself emerging from a massive fireplace into a large, dimly-lit entry hall. Ahead of him, a long line of witches and wizards snaked back and forth through the narrow stone hall before disappearing through a massive door.

"Move it along," said a gruff orange-robed security wizard stationed beside the fire. "Don't block the Floo!" Before he could respond, Remus was roughly pushed into the queue behind Nymphadora, right as another wizard popped into the fireplace that he had just vacated.

"Popular place," he muttered into Nymphadora's ear. He felt a sudden sharp jab in his back from another wizard's elbow as yet another hapless concert-goer was yanked from the fire and pushed into line.

"Popular bands," she replied. "You should have been here on their last jazz night. Much smaller crowd. Felt downright cozy and intimate."

"How often do they have these jazz nights?"

"Once a month."

"Let me know when the next one comes up. I'd love to go. I rather like jazz." He left out the fact that he'd much rather have her feeling cozy and intimate with him than with whomever she'd gone with the last time.

"Sounds like fun--we'll definitely have to do that," she replied. He wished he could see the expression on her face, but she was still ahead of him in the queue, and the hall was dreadfully dim.

The queue slowed considerably as it merged with another queue--the Apparators who had come in the outside entrance. But eventually, their little party reached the security wizards at the door to the club. Sirius pulled out all their tickets with a flourish, and acted as if he was treating all his friends, rather than the other way around. Remus smiled at his friend's antics. It's his birthday party--let him have his fun.

Finally, they were ushered through the entryway and into the club itself. "Let's hit the bar, and survey our surroundings," said Sirius, taking a quick swig from his flask. "Plus, I need something to wash out the foul taste of this potion," he whispered to Remus with a little laugh.

As Sirius led the way to the long bar at the far side of the room, Remus noticed that the basic layout hadn't changed since its days as Monique's Manor. On their way to the bar, his little party wove their way through the milling crowd of young witches and wizards, and around the various tables and booths that surrounded the dance floor. Quite a few of the young concert-goers were already flowing down the small four-step staircases that led to the recessed dance-floor, which was separated from the seating area by a railing.

As they walked, Remus surveyed the dimly lit club. A darkened stage dominated one entire side of the dance-floor, directly across from the bar. It was currently swathed in a thick, illusory fog, hiding the instruments that were undoubtedly already in place.

The layout of the club may not have changed since he last entered it, but the décor was dramatically different. Where the walls and ceilings had once been festooned with red velvet draperies and gold cords, they were now textured with grey-blue faux stone and hanging stalactites. The plush upholstery had been traded in for slick shimmering green faux dragon-hide. Columns of ghostly green heatless flame shot up from the dance floor in random intervals and ever-varying locations. And in place of the gaudy crystal chandelier that had once dangled over the dance floor flew three half-sized illusory dragons, shimmering purple, green and blue. They swooped in an unending circle casting an eerie glow over everything beneath them. Faux stone, faux dragon-hide, faux flames, and faux dragons--is it faux everything? I hope this place will offer some real fun. Or at the very least, real alcohol.

As the group of friends moved through the dim light toward the crowded bar, Remus accidentally jostled against a young man headed in the opposite direction. He turned to apologize, only to see a startled look of recognition in the young man's face. It took just a second longer for Remus to recognize the young man in return. It was one of his old seventh-year students from Hogwarts. He felt so flustered that he let the apology die unspoken on his lips, and hastened to follow Sirius to the bar, looking about himself anxiously.

Please let him be the only one. Please! But his silent plea was to no avail. As he reached the bar, one quick glance showed him at least three more of his former sixth and seventh year students at the bar alone. Who knew how many more would be out on the dance floor, or sitting at the tables?

"A round of Firewhiskey for me and all my friends!" called Sirius in his silly Irish brogue as he slapped his hand down on the bar. Firewhiskey! Yes--if I'm to spend the evening in this place, in these clothes, with dozens of my former students, then Firewhiskey is exactly what I need.

The bartender placed five Firewhiskeys in front of Sirius, and he began to pass them around to all his friends. As Bill received his, he held his glass out and said, "I propose a toast! To my dear cousin Colin, on his thirtieth birthday. Farewell to the frolicsome days of your youth, and hello to the long dreary night of your manhood!" With laughs all around, they clinked their glasses together and took a drink. Remus downed his whole glass in two lusty gulps.

"Thank you for your kind words, cousin--but the night-time has always been very kind to my manhood, and I expect tonight to be no different!" said Sirius.

Remus noticed two more young men from his seventh year class walking by, staring at him. One of them pointed and whispered something to his friend, who laughed. Remus could feel the blush rising in his face, and did his best not to stare back down at his ridiculous outfit. Instead he slammed his glass back down on the bar, and called for another. He had no ear for whatever his friends were talking and laughing about--all he could think about was the night-long humiliation that had only just begun. As soon as his second drink arrived, he downed it as quickly as he had his first.

"Are you alright?" asked Nymphadora quietly, a look of concern on her face. "I've never seen you drink like this before."

She was right--he wasn't normally a heavy drinker. And if he kept on going like this, he was bound to get thoroughly pissed and make an even worse fool of himself. He forced a smile onto his face, and shook his head. "I'm fine--just trying to calm my nerves."

"Nerves?" she asked with a crooked little smile.

"I've never been terribly fond of crowds. Or parties. But I think I've probably already reached my acceptable alcohol intake for the night--hopefully it will help."

She leaned against the bar next to him, looking completely at home. "You have nothing to worry about--Sirius and I will look after you."

He could feel the alcohol relaxing him already. "You're going to look after me, are you? So exactly what does that entail?"

Before she could answer, Bill broke in. "Tonks! Look over there! It's Eddy Balfour!"

Nymphadora quickly looked over to where Bill was pointing. "Crikey! It is him! I haven't seen him in ages." She turned to Remus and Sirius to explain. "He was the captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team who gave me a chance to play. A really nice chap, Eddy. Not many blokes would have given a tiny little girl like me a shot at playing Beater, but he did. And I proved him right."

"Charlie still has the scar to prove it," added Bill. He and Nymphadora both laughed. "Let's go say hello."

"We'll be back in a few minutes," said Nymphadora lightly, as she and Bill with Fleur tagging along headed toward their old friend.

It was at times like this when Remus remembered just how vast a gulf separated him from Nymphadora. He had been out of Hogwarts for nearly six years before she even began school there. Before she had grown out of girlhood he had already lost all of his dearest friends, his family, and so much more.

Before she had ever had her first boyfriend, he had already given up on love forever. Or so he had told himself.

Why did I let my guard down? Why did I let myself relax enough to start fancying someone so young?

He thought knew the answer--it had to be Sirius. He had been twenty-one when he was locked away in Azkaban, and had never really matured beyond that point. And the more time Remus had spent around him lately, the more his own long lonely years seemed to melt away. He'd begun to feel like a young man all over again. But standing there in the club, watching Nymphadora mix and mingle with people from her own generation, he felt like the thirteen years that separated them were a vast ravine that he could never hope to bridge, no matter how much he might like to.

He cringed as another former student walked by, giving him another strange look. Maybe a third Firewhiskey wouldn't be so bad, after all.

Sirius, on the other hand, seemed delighted by everything going on around him. He was staring around the club with a wide grin on his face, occasionally locking eyes with a pretty witch to flirt from afar.

Remus took the time to survey the crowd himself, and, just as he feared, his former students appeared to make up a sizable portion of the crowd. He sighed--at least there were plenty of dark booths to hide in.

"Isn't it fantastic, Moony?" said Sirius.

"Yes. Fantastic," responded Remus.

Sirius appeared to miss his friend's tone of voice, because he continued gushing. "It's just like old times--music, and drinks, and fun. I can hardly believe I'm really here. It's like a dream come true. And would you just look around you?"

"I'm looking," said Remus, still seeking out the faces of his old students.

"They're everywhere!"

"That they are," agreed Remus morosely.

"I've never seen a collection of this many beautiful girls in my life!"

"Girls?" Remus blinked in confusion--maybe two Firewhiskeys really had been enough.

Sirius barked in laughter. "Of course, girls. Who did you think I was talking about?"

Remus shook his head. "No one--nothing."

"Moony--I know that look. It's the I'm really glad you're having fun but I wish I could curl up under a rock and hide look. You used to get it all the time back at Hogwarts. So what exactly am I doing to embarrass you this time?" asked Sirius. Even through his new face, Remus could see his irritation.

Remus sighed. "It's not--it's not you. It's just... I've noticed..." He rubbed his forehead, as Sirius continued to stare at him. "I've noticed some of my old Hogwarts students here in the crowd."

Sirius laughed. "Is that all? What's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong is that they're staring at me."

"And?"

"And... and... well, thanks to Severus they all know I'm a werewolf! And they're all seeing me in this absurd outfit! They probably all think I'm some sort of deviant!" Remus said.

Sirius laughed even harder. "A deviant? Merlin's beard Remus--you have way too much imagination."

"What?"

"They're probably just thinking--Wow, I knew he was a cool teacher, but I didn't know he was cool enough to come to a Weird Sisters concert with a bunch of hot-looking young friends. Maybe I should have paid more attention in his class!" Sirius was chuckling jovially.

Remus shook his head. "You don't really believe that, do you?"

"Of course I do! Oh, there might be one or two of them that are as paranoid and suspicious as you are, but most of them are probably just surprised to see their favorite teacher someplace like this."

With a smile growing on his face, Remus replied, "As much as I appreciate the flattery, I doubt I was their favorite--at least not for all of them."

"Oh, Snape probably managed to turn all the Slytherins against you, but I'm sure you were favorite to the rest. You were certainly the Weasley kids' favorite. And Hermione's. And Harry's," said Sirius.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Oh yeah! They all gushed about you when you weren't around."

Remus was beginning to feel a lot better. Harry's favorite? And the Weasleys'? And Hermione's? He didn't know what he'd done to earn that honor, but it certainly cheered him up to know it. And maybe Sirius was right about the other kids as well--maybe they really were surprised to see their old favorite at a concert. A slow smile spread on his face. "So--I'm the cool teacher."

Sirius laughed. "Now you're getting it! You're the coolest of the cool! Could you have ever seen any of our old professors showing up at a rock concert?"

Remus shook his head, "Goodness no! Not in a million years."

"And what other Hogwarts teacher would look that good in leather trousers?"

Remus burst out laughing. "You just gave me an awful vision of Severus in this outfit!"

"Oh, Lord no!" exclaimed Sirius. "Don't turn my stomach before I even have the chance to get drunk first!" The two old friends were still laughing when Sirius glanced eagerly at the nearest stairs to the dance floor. "Hey, Moony--are those two birds some of your old students?" He pointed at two lovely, scantily-clad witches coming up the stairs.

Remus blinked in astonishment at seeing them dressed--almost undressed--in something other than their school robes. "Y-yes," he stammered. "They were in my Newt-level class."

"And they're headed right toward us," said Sirius. "Now remember--you were the cool teacher, and now you're the cool older man-of-the-world. Got it? Don't blow this one for me, Moony."

"I'll do my best not to drive them away," Remus replied hastily as the two girls drew close to them.

"Professor Lupin?" said one of the girls--a short brunette with ample curves in all the right places.

"Yes indeed! Miss ... Corrington?" Remus tried to sound as casual and relaxed as possible, even though his stomach seemed to be tying itself in knots.

"You remember us!" said Miss Corrington with a bright smile, clapping her hands and bouncing distractingly. Remus could feel Sirius nudging him lightly in the side.

"Of course I remember you--and Miss Ablewood," he added with a nod to the taller, more slender blonde. I was the cool teacher. They all liked me. I was the cool teacher... He kept up the silent mantra, trying to make himself feel more comfortable. It wasn't working.

"Oh, you can call us Eva and Millie, now, Professor," said Miss Ablewood, leaning toward him with a smile.

Sirius' nudging grew more pronounced. "Eva, Millie," said Remus, forcing a bright smile on his face, "allow me to introduce a friend of mine--Colin Weasley." Sirius took his cue, and stepped forward with a bow.

"Good evening, ladies," he said in his exaggerated Irish accent. He took each of the girl's hands in turn. "So lovely to meet you. I've been overseas for many a year, and your beautiful smiles remind me that the most precious jewels in all the world are not to be found in exotic climes, but in the land I left behind."

Both of the girls giggled and jiggled appropriately in response, and Remus sighed. Apparently being the "cool teacher," meant being able to set his friend up with a bevy of girls half his age.

"So are you related to Percy Weasley?" asked Eva--the shorter of the two.

Sirius sighed. "I'm sorry to say, I am. He's a cousin of mine, whether I like it or not."

The girls laughed, and Millie said, "We never much cared for him either. I still don't know what Penelope saw in him--she's an old friend of ours that used to go out with him," she added as an aside to Sirius.

The girls continued to flirt with his handsomely disguised friend for a few more moments when, much to Remus' surprise, Millie turned back to him. "I was so sad when you had to leave Hogwarts, Professor." She edged closer to him. "You were my little brother's favorite teacher, and he was so disappointed not to have you around for his OWL-year."

"Well, I was sorry to go, but it was an...unfortunate necessity." Remus attempted to inch unobtrusively away, but, to his dismay, found his retreat blocked by the crush of customers surrounding the bar. Millie smiled widely, and moved in to an uncomfortably close proximity.

"Such a shame, Remus--may I call you Remus?" she asked.

"Of--of course."

"What have you been doing since?" she asked.

Remus coughed in hesitation. Time for some creative half-truths. "Well," he began, "I did odd jobs for a while, and looked after a property I own. Lately I've been translating some academic texts from German." There. That sounded suitably impressive. Maybe I can pull this off after all.

"That's wonderful!" exclaimed Millie, leaning even closer and resting her hand lightly on his arm. He immediately began to tense up. She continued to speak. "It's good that you're getting by so well, in spite of the Ministry. Personally, I think that the Ministry has been dreadfully unfair to Lycans. When the proper precautions are taken you're just as capable of contributing to society as any ordinary wizard," she said, drawing closer to him.

"Well, thank you for the sentiment..." he began, but she interrupted him.

"I actually think that in some ways Lycans function even better than ordinary wizards. I dated a Lycan for six months earlier this year, and it was a most--enlightening--experience." Millie was now leaning against the bar right next to him, her eyes roaming up and down his body, and her cleavage bulging dangerously. "Has anyone ever told you that you have an amazing physique for a man your age?" she asked, stroking his arm lightly with her finger. "One of the benefits of the condition--or so I've been told."

"Well... I ... I..." Remus was at a complete loss for words. He averted his eyes from her chest, and tried to edge away from her--but the bar was dreadfully crowded. He had heard that there were women who sought out Lycans for lovers, with the belief that the condition increased the men's sexual prowess--but he had never met one before now. And she was his old student! Apparently being the "cool teacher" had its downside. He glanced toward Sirius, looking for help, but his friend seemed engrossed in Eva and her curves.

He turned back to Millie, still unsure of what to say to her hungrily smiling face, when his young friends made a timely return.

"Is that little Millie Ablewood?" said Bill loudly, striding up. "Why, I haven't seen you since Percy's birthday party six years ago. My you've grown!"

Millie glared at him, and answered, "Hello, Bill."

"Remus--can you believe that last time I saw her, Millie still had her hair up in pig-tails, and was afraid to pet our neighbor's dog? And just look at her now." Bill was grinning, and Remus was beginning to feel much more relaxed. It was good to have friends.

"There's no shame in being afraid of dogs, Miss Ablewood," replied Remus, stressing the formal name. "There's nothing wrong with having a well-regulated sense of caution around canines--you can never be certain what they might do next."

Nymphadora, who had joined them during Bill's last comment, appeared to be turning red with barely contained laughter. She walked up to Remus and leaned against him with an air of casual possessiveness. Remus decided to play along, and wrapped an arm around her waist. Millie's expression was growing dark, and she straightened up, allowing her cleavage to recede to a safer level of containment. She seemed get the hint.

"Apparently not," she said. "Nice to see you again, Professor, but we promised to meet some friends." She pushed away from the bar and pulled the protesting Eva back into the thickening crowd.

"What was that all about?" exclaimed Sirius indignantly.

"We were just extricating Remus from a sticky situation--that's all," said Nymphadora, snuggling deeper into Remus' embrace. It felt wonderful, and supremely comfortable in comparison to his close encounter with Millie Ablewood.

"Well, you also managed to extricate a very lovely young lady from me!" Even through his charming mask, Remus could see the anger on Sirius' face.

"There will be others, my friend," Remus said. "With a face like that, it's practically a guarantee. Besides," he added, "she was too young for you. She wasn't even twenty--barely more than a child!"

An outraged huff burst from Fleur's mouth, and Remus could feel himself flushing in embarrassment. He had forgotten just how young Bill's girlfriend really was. Bill wrapped an arm protectively around her, and spoke up quickly. "Some ladies that age may seem very young--but I assure you that I have met some who are extremely mature, and competent, and intelligent. I wouldn't be so quick to judge all women that age by the same standard."

Fleur melted into Bill's side, giving him a sparkling grin. "'E is very right, Remus. Perhaps ze problem is not with ze young women--but with ze older men?" With her final comment she gave Remus a venomous glare.

"You might be right about that, Fleur," replied Remus, removing his arm from Nymphadora's waist so that he could step forward. "In fact I may have just proved your point. You have my sincerest apology."

"Apology accepted," she replied, her stiff expression softening. "Now let us get down to ze floor before all ze good places are taken!"

"Come on," said Nymphadora, taking Remus by one arm and Sirius by the other, "Let's go. The Hobgoblins are about to start their set."

They spent the next few minutes wading through the jostling crowd of rowdy young wizards and witches and columns of ghostly flame, until they arrived at a position that Fleur declared had an adequate view of the stage. Here, closer to the stage, Remus noticed that he wasn't the only person his age in the crowd. Actually there were quiet a few people his age--they simply all happened to be women wearing t-shirts bearing slogans along the lines of "Save Stubby!" and "Support Sirius!". This didn't help him feel any less out of place.

Sirius quickly detached himself from Nymphadora's arm, and edged his way closer to a group of attractive young witches standing nearby. Remus smiled as he watched his friend go--Sirius always had been something of a ladies' man. Twelve years in Azkaban seemed to have done nothing to diminish his appetites.

"Look--it's starting!" said Nymphadora, just as the stage burst into life with billowing plumes of green flame stretching from floor to ceiling.

Gradually, the flames in the center of the stage diminished to reveal a six-man ensemble. A drummer and his kit sat on an elevated dais in the center of the stage, flanked by two guitarists and, astonishingly, an accordion player.

In the front center of the stage stood Stubby Boardman himself.