Marauders Redux

Chapter 4: Gearing Up

The black trousers turned out to be black leather trousers. And the blue shirt was a loose billowing affair in the same shimmering midnight-blue color as Nymphadora's trousers. After staring at the clothes for a few minutes, with dread swirling around in his stomach, he finally decided he'd better at least try it on. If he didn't, he'd never hear the end of it.

He wasn't sure whether or not to be relieved when the trousers fit quite well. He'd been somewhat hoping for an excuse not to wear them, but on the other hand Nymphadora might have forced him whether they fit or not. However, he decided he might have to draw the line at the shirt. It had a strangely oversized collar and loose puffy sleeves that made the whole garment almost comical. He tried tucking it in, to see if it looked any better, but it didn't. He stood staring at himself in the mirror. He looked ridiculous. No--this simply wouldn't work.

He heard a knock at the door. "What's taking you so long?" called Nymphadora from the hall.

"I can't wear this," he called back.

"Why not? I made sure it would fit."

He sighed. This might be another fight he couldn't win. "I look absurd."

"Let me be the judge of that," she said, as she opened the door and walked in looking stunning in her own club-gear. It made him feel even more ridiculous in comparison.

He stood there blushing while she looked him up and down with a sly little smile on her face. She stopped in front of him, and reached up to unbutton the top few buttons of his shirt--sending chills of excitement up and down his spine. "You aren't supposed to button it all the way up, silly," she said. "And you definitely aren't supposed to tuck it in," she added, pulling it back out of his trousers. "There. That looks about right." She stepped back from him, looking him up and down again.

He glanced back down at the absurd ensemble. Now that the top few buttons were open, he was certain that the ridiculously oversized collar would flop embarrassingly around his neck every time he moved. And a little chest hair was peeking out from the opening at the top, making him look like a furry animal--not an association he wanted to encourage. In fact, he looked like a furry old animal, for several of the visible hairs were gray. This was not a good look for him. "So this is how it's supposed to look?" he said despairingly, staring in the mirror once more.

"Yep. You look just right," she said.

He once more stared at the mirror to survey the outfit. Then he turned back to Nymphadora. "I look," he said, "like a middle-aged gay pirate."

"A bit, perhaps," she answered with a little laugh.

"So can I put my normal clothes back on?" he asked hopefully.

She shook her head. "Absolutely not. You have to trust me, Remus--khaki trousers and one of your old jumpers will make you stand out like a veela in a room full of hags. This lovely ensemble, however, will allow you to fade anonymously into the background, just like you want. Besides--no one will be able to see you that well in the dark."

Remus sighed. He had one more tactic he could try. "Couldn't I just borrow some jeans and a t-shirt from Bill? Nothing with moving eyes, of course, but I'm sure he has something more subtle than that."

Nymphadora put on an expression of long-suffering, and replied, "I suppose you could, but it really wouldn't be you, Remus."

"And this is?" he said, gesturing down at the offending outfit.

Nymphadora huffed and rolled her eyes. "It has buttons. When was the last time you wore a shirt without buttons?" He opened his mouth to answer, but she cut him off. "Other than a jumper?"

He closed his mouth again, and thought for a moment. "I think it must have been... 1978," he said finally, suddenly feeling very old.

"And I would hazard a guess that it's been just as long since you last wore jeans?" she asked archly.

"Even longer. I gave them up when I was made a prefect."

"There you have it," said Nymphadora. "Jeans and a t-shirt would not be you. This will do much better."

Remus knew when he had lost a fight--and this fight was over. "Very well then. I'll wear the blasted outfit."

"Lovely!" she replied with a smile. "Now, we'd best get downstairs, and get on with it."

"Yes indeed," said Remus, giving himself another look in the mirror. "If I don't get out of view of this mirror soon, I might be tempted to rip this shirt off and burn it."

"I don't know--an incendiary striptease might be worth the wait," she said slyly, edging closer to him. His heart started to beat faster again.

Suddenly, they were interrupted. "What's this about a striptease? You going to put on a little show for us, Moony?" said Sirius, walking into the room with Bill behind him.

Remus instinctively took a step back from Nymphadora. He felt unexpectedly annoyed at the interruption, but suppressed the feeling before answering. "I would--but it might make us late for our big night out on the town."

He stared in growing delight at Sirius' outfit--some relics from his motorcycling days. He was wearing blue jeans covered by black leather chaps, and a black tee-shirt topped by a black leather vest studded with rivets and chains. Padfoot was back in action. "I can't believe you still have that," said Remus. "I thought for sure your mother would have thrown it out!"

Sirius shrugged. "She must have held some sort of lingering affection for me after all--I found most of my old clothes stashed in a box up in the attic. And I'm glad I did--this one cost me a good fistful of galleons. This is genuine dragon-belly! Expensive stuff! You're looking mighty fine yourself, Moony."

"You really think so?" asked Remus skeptically.

"Certainly," said Sirius dismissively.

Remus looked down at the outfit again, wondering if he was seeing the same clothes that Sirius was seeing. Suddenly Sirius' comment about his expensive outfit stirred something in the pit of Remus' belly. Just how much money did Nymphadora spend on this?

"So Tonks talked you in to it, has she?" said Bill, eyeing Remus' outfit with amusement.

"She has quite a way with words," replied Remus, glancing uneasily at Nymphadora as his guilt over the possible expense of his outfit increased.

Nymphadora stepped forward. "If you boys are done checking each other out, we really should get going."

"Let's go back downstairs and get you dosed, Black. It's time to assume your new identity," said Bill.

"Let's do it!" said Sirius, heading down the stairs.

Remus managed to get a quiet word with Nymphadora on the stairs. "How much did you pay for this outfit?" he asked her in a hasty whisper. "I need to know how much I owe you."

She stopped cold, staring him straight in the eyes. "It was meant as a gift, Remus."

"But it's not my birthday," he replied.

She shook her head. "Then consider it an early Christmas present. Really. This whole night is on me."

"I don't feel right about that, Nymphadora," he said earnestly.

She rolled her eyes at him. "You really need to learn how to accept a gift once in while." She started trudging back down the stairs. "And anyway," she added, "It was a bargain at an estate sale I went to last week."

"Estate sale?" he said, startled. "You mean the previous owner of these clothes is...?"

"Dead," she finished for him with a wicked grin. "I wouldn't worry too much about it. I don't think it was anything catching.

With that, they reached the parlor. Bill reached into the bag he'd left there, and pulled out three more flasks. He passed two of them to Nymphadora and Remus. "Remember, keep these on you at all times, just in case."

Remus managed to get his into his back pocket, and Nymphadora slipped hers into a tiny purse that she had produced out of nowhere. In the meantime, Sirius had pulled his own out of an inside pocket of his vest. He uncapped it, and prepared to take a swig, when Bill stopped him. "Wait!" he said. "Tonks--did you have a chance to go over the cover story with Lupin yet?"

She shook her head. "I didn't have time. I was too busy talking him into the outfit."

Sirius snickered, and said, "Is that all you two were doing up there? Surely you were up to something more interesting than that?"

Remus glared at him. "I think Bill said something about a cover story?" he asked, avoiding Sirius' question, and half-wishing that they had been up to something other than talking.

Sirius' grinned, and replied, "From here on out, you can call me Colin Weasley--Bill's cousin from Ireland."

Remus looked at Bill. "Do you even have a cousin Colin from Ireland?"

"Of course not," replied Bill. "But no one needs to know that."

"But what if some of your old classmates are at the concert? Won't they wonder why this mysterious cousin of yours has never been mentioned before? Or why he didn't attend Hogwarts?" Remus asked the first few of the many questions that were flitting through his mind.

"Well," said Bill, "they won't remember him from Hogwarts because his progressive parents sent him to the Blue Sky Academy for Artistic Wizardry, in Los Angeles."

"Good God!" exclaimed Remus. "Is that place still in business?"

"I can't believe you've actually heard of it!" said Sirius. "I thought it was just a pile of dragon-dung when Weasley told me about it."

"I discovered it about eight years ago, when I was applying to teach overseas," replied Remus. "It's the strangest place--spends as much time on art and music and drama as it does on the basics of magic. It's a wonder any of its graduates ever find work."

"From what I've seen they certainly don't find good work," said Nymphadora, smiling up at him. "My first year out of Hogwarts I had a flat-mate who went to Blue Sky. She was a real nutter--worked as an assistant in Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor, but claimed she was really a song writer. But I never once heard her singing."

Remus laughed. "So what will you be, 'Colin'? An out of work actor? An ill-tempered painter?"

Sirius replied, "I was thinking, world-traveling poet and play-write."

Remus nodded with a grin. "It suits you."

"Why thank you, Moony," said Sirius with a bow.

"So, have we all got the story straight?" asked Bill.

They all nodded in assent. "I think we've got it figured out, Weasley. Now let's get on with it," said Sirius. He opened his flask again, and without another warning took a few large gulps of the potion within.

Sirius grimaced as he swallowed the last of the thick liquid in his mouth, then stood perfectly still--waiting. Slowly, his skin and hair seemed to blur, and ripple. His pale skin began to darken into a tan. His hair gradually lightened. His jaw grew more square, his nose a bit wider, and his grey eyes shifted into a vibrant blue. In just a short moment, Remus' old friend had been replaced by a handsome, athletic and young blond man.

A broad, white-toothed smile flashed across the new Sirius' face. "Did it work?" he asked in an eerily changed voice. "How do I look?"

"It worked like a charm," said Bill.

"You look fabulous," said Nymphadora, in a dreamy sort of voice.

Remus just stared. Sirius had become one of the most beautiful specimens of humanity that he had ever seen.

Sirius eyed him nervously. "What is it? Is something wrong?" He started patting his face and hair anxiously.

"No ... no," replied Remus. "Nothing's wrong. You just look so ... so..." He was at a loss for words.

"I have to see it!" cried Sirius, dashing over to the old gilt mirror hanging above the fireplace. He paused in front of the mirror, staring wide-eyed at his unfamiliar reflection. He reached up to pat his new face some more. Then, he grinned at himself. He ran his fingers through his thick, wavy blond hair. Then he winked at himself. "What a handsome devil!" he said.

"I know," said Nymphadora, walking up to Sirius and throwing an arm around his shoulders. "I picked him out just for you. I had to frequent Muggle pubs for more than three weeks to find just the right one. After all, I couldn't choose a wizard, or you might run into your alter-ego at the concert! But I figured if you were going to be wearing a Muggle face for a night, I ought to choose you a lovely one."

"Lovely!" cried Sirius. "I'm bloody gorgeous! A veritable Adonis! The girls won't be able to keep their hands off me!"

"They certainly won't! I was completely overwhelmed the first time I saw him--he took my breath away. I've never seen anything so beautiful," said Nymphadora, gazing at the reflection in the mirror with a strangely hungry look on her face.

Remus coughed uncomfortably. "So," he said, "how exactly did you get your...sample, of him, to use in the potion?" He wasn't sure he really wanted the answer.

She turned to look at him with a devious smile. "That's my little secret," she said with a wink.

Remus felt an unexpected lurch of something akin to nausea in his stomach. She wasn't the kind of girl to fool around with strange Muggles--was she? How well did he really know her? Get over it, Remus--this jealousy is ridiculous. He told himself. Besides, you're too old for her. She'd never want someone like you. Not when she could have someone young, and safe.

"If you're done mentally undressing yourself, Sirius, let's get out of here," said Bill. "Where'd you put those tickets?"

"Over here," said Sirius, pulling himself from his new reflection to stride over to a side table to pick up the tickets. "Hey!" he exclaimed, "Who's this fifth ticket for?" He got a frightening gleam in his eye, and asked, "Are we going to bust Harry out of Hogwarts for the night? Smashing!"

Bill and Nymphadora exchanged an uncomfortable look, and Bill answered, "Actually, it's for Fleur."

Sirius' face fell momentarily, but then he perked right back up. "Of course--of course! Naturally you want to bring your girl along. And I've certainly been wanting to meet her. But you'd better watch out, Weasley. In this get up I might give you a run for your money."

"In your dreams, Black," replied Bill with an amiable smile.

"We'll see," countered Sirius, with a broad white grin.

"If you don't mind," said Nymphadora, stepping in between Bill and Sirius, and giving both of them dirty looks, "none of us have eaten dinner yet, and I was hoping we would have time for a quick bite before heading to the concert. Let's get going!"

They all nodded, and Remus asked, "So where do we go first?"

"The Apparation point at the Gringotts end of Diagon Alley," replied Bill.

"Remember the way, Sirius?" asked Nymphadora.

"Of course I do," huffed Sirius. "Let's move."

They all focused on their destination, and, with four loud cracks, they Apparated. They emerged from the tiny alcove outside Gringotts to step onto Diagon Alley.

Sirius strode to the center of the street with a silly grin on his face. He spun slowly in a circle, staring eagerly around at the glowing shop fronts and the busy evening foot traffic of Diagon Alley. He took a few deep lingering breathes of the cool night air, as all his friends gathered around him. He stopped, looked Remus in the eye, and declared, "We did it, Moony! I'm free!"