Cave Canem

Cave Canem

Chapter Three: Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

For the third time, Sirius searched each and every cubbyhole and drawer of the writing desk. "Where did I put that card? The last time I had it, I was--" Sirius gazed around the flat. He jumped up, ran into the kitchen, and opened the refrigerator. He smiled triumphantly as he held up a greeting card with a cartoon stag and doe nuzzling and holding hooves under a full moon. When he had seen it in a store yesterday, he had known that he had to give it to James and Lily.

"Now we can go to dinner." Since James and Lily's wedding several months ago, it had become their tradition to all gather at the Potters' house for dinner before apparating to whatever place they had chosen to enjoy the full moon. Lily said that she enjoyed the opportunity to be a small part of "her boys'" adventures.

Sirius knocked softly on Remus's door. "Remus, it's time to go." A few moments later, a very pale Remus emerged from the darkened bedroom. "Did you get any sleep?" Remus shook his head and walked ahead of Sirius toward the door. "Got your wand?"

"Yes, Mummy."

"When I ask if you're wearing clean underwear, then you can accuse me of acting like your mother." Sirius grabbed their cloaks as he waited one beat, then two. "So, are you wearing clean underwear?"

Sirius was rewarded by seeing the hoped-for smile on Remus's face. Remus always became tense before the full moon, too full of "what-if's." And Sirius couldn't see someone tense without feeling a corresponding need to lighten the mood.

They had just stepped into the hallway and away from Remus's wards in order to apparate when Morris Burdock strode into view. Two younger wizards accompanied him. One was large and muscley--if he were a Muggle, he would have been a rugby player. The other was tall and thin, with eyes the icy blue of the winter sky. Even colder than his eyes was his smile. In fact, all three were smiling in a way that made Sirius uncomfortable, and all three were holding their wands. Sirius instinctively stepped in front of Remus, but Remus grasped his arm and pulled him back, gently but firmly. Remus kept his hand on Sirius's wand arm, a subtle reminder to do nothing.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Burdock?" Remus asked calmly.

Burdock ignored him and addressed Sirius. "Well, Black, I told you we'd be back for you today."

"You've got to be kidding. You know I'm not a werewolf--we proved it."

"You proved nothing. A trick with a coin. I don't care how you did it." He took a step closer to Sirius and lowered his voice. "And maybe I don't care if you're a werewolf or not. You've been reported and that makes you mine at least until the moon rises tonight. Do--you--understand?" He jabbed his finger repeatedly into Sirius's chest, emphasizing each word.

Sirius felt sick at heart thinking of Remus locked in the Potters' cellar instead of running free, but at least Prongs and Wormtail would be with him. They'd keep him from tearing himself to bits. Sirius dropped his head in defeat.

"I'm so sorry, Remus, You'll have to go to James's without me."

Burdock smirked. "I don't think so. Lupin's coming with us too."

"Why?" Sirius knew that he sounded angry, but he didn't care. "He's registered. He has a safe place to go. Why are you taking him?" Sirius felt Remus increase the pressure on his arm.

"Officially?" Burdock asked, still smirking. Sirius nodded slightly. "Lupin said that you're the one who keeps an eye on him during the full moon. It would be terribly irresponsible of us to take you away from your pet monster and leave him unsupervised."

"He won't be alone, he'll be--"

"And unofficially?" Remus interrupted.

Burdock finally looked at Remus. "It'll teach Black a lesson in respecting authority if we take you both." He took a step back and held out his free hand. "Your wands, slowly." Remus handed over his wand, but Sirius hesitated.

"Just do it, Sirius," Remus said quietly. "They want an excuse to kill you. Don't give it to them."

"And while we're on the subject," Burdock said as he pocketed their wands, "apparate and you'll be considered fugitive werewolves. Mr. Styles," he nodded in the direction of Blue Eyes, "is very skilled at tracking wizards after they apparate. Try it and you'll be dead before moonrise."

"Our friends are expecting us," Remus said. "May I send our owl to them so they don't worry about us. It will only take a minute."

"No." Burdock pulled out a large silver pocket watch, opened it to check the time, and then closed it with a snap. "Almost time. Touch the portkey, and we'll be on our way." As he spoke, he held out the pocket watch, flat on the palm of his hand. A silver portkey.

"Bastard," Sirius muttered. Burdock just smirked all the more. Remus reached out without hesitation and touched the watch with the side of his little finger. He wouldn't give Burdock the satisfaction of showing pain, but he would make sure to locate the burn where it would give him little trouble. Sirius touched the watch as well and prayed, for Remus's sake, that Burdock had told the truth when he said the portkey would activate soon.

* * * * *

"James, come away from the window. Watching for them won't make them get here any faster," Lily pointed out as she wrapped her arms around his waist. James released the curtain that he had been pulling back and turned away from the window with a sigh. He wrapped his arms around her as well and rested his chin on top of her head.

"Where are they?" he asked no one in particular.

"They're less than an hour late," Peter pointed out. "For Sirius, that's nothing."

"But it's not 'nothing' for Remus--especially tonight. You know he doesn't like to apparate too close to moonrise. Takes too much concentration."

"Then go," Lily said. James pulled back and looked down at her. "Go look for them. They're probably back at the flat sound asleep or something." James smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Wanna come, Peter?"

"Sure."

"And I'll get dinner on the table," Lily said as she pulled away and headed for the kitchen. "Wake them up, hurry back, and you'll just have time for a quick bite before you go a-roving."

* * * * *

Burdock seemed to enjoy jingling the keys as he led the way down the stairs into the sub-basement of the building. He had the power to imprison them, and he wanted to keep rubbing it in. Salt in the wounds. Remus tried to stay calm. He had been locked up alone before, and undoubtedly, he would be locked up alone again. But it was all he could do not to bolt and run away. He knew it was illogical. The two wizards behind him would kill him before he got three yards. However, the logical human was subsiding, the instinctive wolf was emerging, and the wolf felt with every fiber of his being that he wanted to run free. "At least Sirius is behaving himself."

Burdock unlocked a thick oak door and opened it to reveal that the inside of the door was covered with silver plates. The brick-walled chamber was slightly larger than Remus had expected, but two men in Muggle clothes were already inside the cell. One had a comforting arm around the shoulders of the other as they sat on the bare floor, backs against the wall.

Remus had never been with other werewolves at the full moon before, and he wondered how violent they would be toward each other. He suspected he would react they same way he initially had with Padfoot. They would fight to establish dominance, but then they would be able to enjoy the companionship. Remus walked in without hesitation. He felt a strange thrill at the opportunity to test himself against other wolves.

"You too, Black. In."

Remus whirled around at this. Burdock and his accomplices were all pointing their wands at Sirius. All three were smiling sadistically. Sirius stared at Burdock, unable to believe what he heard.

"Together?" Sirius asked. "You're joking." Remus realized that Burdock was neither joking nor bluffing. He didn't just want Sirius humiliated; he wanted Sirius dead. Remus had been brought here so he would have to live with the knowledge that he had killed his friend. However, Burdock was probably planning not to let him live with it for long.

"He's not joking, Sirius." Sirius's face hardened from disbelief into hatred. He wisely refrained from growling and walked into the cell. He stood just inside the doorway, his back to his captors as he listened to the heavy door slam shut and the key turn in the lock.

"Well, Moony," Sirius said with a smile, "things could be worse." Come morning, he would have to face the consequences of being an unregistered animagus, but at least he would live to face the morning.

"No, they couldn't," one of the young men by the wall said. "They keep getting worse." The other man tightened his grip around the speaker's shoulders.

"It's better that they're here, Eddie," he said. Then he looked up at Remus and Sirius. "I'm Brian, and this is my brother, Eddie."

"Remus, and that's my friend Sirius."

"Glad you're here," Brian said with a tense smile.

"No offense, but I can think of a few places I'd rather be," Sirius grumbled. He slouched against the door, oblivious to the silver. He watched Remus begin to pace.

"So can I," Brian replied. Eddie wiped at his eyes with the cuff of his sleeve.

"I'm so sorry, Brian," Eddie murmured.

"Not your fault, little brother. Not your fault."

* * * * *

James and Peter had no difficulty entering the flat. James had lived there before the wedding (and still insisted on paying half of the rent until the end of the lease), and Peter was a frequent guest, so neither of the front door wards were a problem.

"SIRIUS! REMUS! WHERE ARE YOU? Check the desk, Peter. See if either one left a note." James headed back toward the bedrooms. Both were empty. Remus's blinds were drawn and his bed rumpled. "Remus tried to take a nap before coming to dinner, so he was here this afternoon," James thought. He returned to Peter. "Anything?"

"No, and their owl is still here."

James glanced around. "The wards are still working. No sign of a struggle or a duel."

"At least it doesn't look like Death Eaters were here," Peter said. The tension was clear in his voice.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing."

"Should we go back to your house?"

"Not yet. Why don't you go to Mrs. Lupin's and check for Remus there. Try not to worry her."

"Sure, no problem." Peter then affected a bright and cheerful tone. "Hi, Mrs. Lupin. Your son is missing and moonrise is in just over an hour, but don't worry."

James looked at Peter's baleful expression and nodded. "You're right--impossible task. At least tell her that we think Remus and Sirius are together. Sirius can conjure a cage or something if necessary." Peter nodded and started for the door. "Oh--and Peter?" Peter paused with his hand on the doorknob. "Tell her we'll send an owl as soon as we find him."

"What are you going to do?"

James scanned the flat quickly as if hoping that a clue would jump out at him. He remembered hearing about Sirius's visitor from the Werewolf Registry. "I think--I'm going to Greystone."

"Where?"

"It used to be a Muggle insane asylum, until they abandoned it as 'unfit for human habitation'," James explained as he walked to the door. "Now it's where the Ministry locks up werewolves who won't lock themselves up or who don't have any other safe place to go at the full moon. Most of the Muggle werewolves end up there every month."

"Why would Remus be there?" Peter asked as they went into the hallway.

"Remus and Sirius, the unregistered werewolf." James saw understanding dawn on Peter's face.

"Oh, the wizard from the Registry that Sirius pissed off."

"The problem is, I only know that it's in Surrey; I don't know where. Lily grew up in Surrey. I hope she knows."

"Good luck," both friends said just before apparating away.

* * * * *

Remus stopped pacing and looked down at the two brothers as a sickening realization struck him.

"Brian, why are you glad we're here?"

"I'd rather you two kill me than Eddie. It'll be easier for him that way."

"Oh shit," Remus whispered. "He's not a werewolf. We're going to kill him."

"You're not a werewolf?" Sirius seemed to have difficulty comprehending that he wasn't the only non-werewolf in the room. "Oh my God, Remus, he's not a werewolf."

"Yeah, I got that, Sirius." Remus began pacing again.

"I don't believe it. That bastard. That absolute bastard."

"Shut up, Sirius!"

For fourteen years, Remus had endured being locked into small rooms like this, endured being locked away from the human prey he craved. Now he was locked in with his prey. He felt more trapped than he had ever felt before. For the first time, his human side wanted out even more than the wolf did.

* * * * *

"This place gives me the creeps," Lily murmured as she and James made their way through the deserted ground floor of Greystone. James held her hand to help her over the lichen-covered stones of a partially collapsed wall.

"HELLO! ANYONE HERE?" James called out again. Everywhere he looked were signs of decay and neglect: rotted wood, peeling paint, rusty door hinges.

"Are you sure this is where the Ministry locks up werewolves?" Lily asked.

"Remus told me about it once, but that was--five years ago. Maybe they've stopped using it since then." James fought to control his mounting panic. "Damn. I've got a really bad feeling. They're in trouble, and I don't know where else to look for them."

Lily squeezed his hand in reassurance. "Listen to me. They're together. Remus will keep Sirius out of trouble until moonrise, and Sirius will keep Remus out of trouble after that." James squeezed back and smiled at her just briefly before looking around again.

"Let's try that hallway," he said as he gestured to the right.

* * * * *

Remus leaned back in the corner farthest from Brian as if to delay the inevitable. Sirius was still slouching against the door, his arms wrapped around himself. His gaze seemed unfocused and turned inward. He was clearly as worried about tonight as Remus was.

"Come here, Padfoot." Sirius started at the sound of Remus's voice but obeyed without hesitation. Remus winced inside as he saw Sirius's hand push off against the silver. Remus then spoke quietly, for only Sirius to hear.

"Listen. Whatever you see tonight, remember this, I killed Brian, not Eddie, no matter who asks or why."

Sirius nodded solemnly and then put on a brave smile. "You'll have to get through me first."

"No," Remus said harshly. "You'll be crazy to try." Remus knew his friend. He knew that Sirius would try to protect Brian as long as possible. He also knew werewolves. They would kill Padfoot if he kept them from the human prey they craved.

"Sirius, I know you want to save him. I want you to save him, but I know that you can't. You're used to two against one, odds in your favor. Tonight it's two against one, odds against you--all night. We'll keep coming at you until we get to him. He'll be dead before morning, and you have to accept that."

"I can't do nothing; you know I can't."

Remus knew he was asking the impossible. He didn't really expect Sirius to just step aside and let the wolves kill Brian. If the roles were reversed, he knew he would fight to his last breath to save a person in danger. But the roles weren't reversed. Remus's life wasn't in danger; his friend's life was. The only way Remus could protect Sirius was to talk him into saving himself. He hoped that he could convince Sirius to bow to the inevitable before he was mortally wounded.

"The only death you can prevent tonight is your own. The most you can do for Brian is to delay us, and that's not worth dying for, Sirius. Don't let me kill you."

As he spoke, Remus watched Sirius grow slightly paler and his breathing grow shallower and more rapid. Sirius comprehended how much danger he was in, yet Sirius forced a smile again.

"Kill me? Moony kick Padfoot's ass? Not going to happen. I don't care how much help you have, Moony. No one is going to kill anyone tonight."

* * * * *

James and Lily had only gone a few yards when their shadows suddenly ran out ahead of them. James whirled around to see the source of the light--a lantern carried by a young man in wizard robes.

"Can I help you? Are you lost?" he asked.

"I hope you can help us," James replied. "We're looking for two friends of ours. One of them is a werewolf."

"You're in the right place. The stairs are over here." He held the lantern high as he led the way through a twisting and confusing path. "We made it difficult to find the way upstairs. Keeps out the curious Muggles, most of 'em at least. Name's Simon."

"James and Lily."

At the top of the stairs, Simon pushed open a pair of doors to reveal a hallway in slightly better repair than those below. The paint was still peeling, and the door hinges were still rusty, but no walls were crumbling, and debris didn't choke the passage.

"Charlotte!" Simon called out. "We've got visitors!" A moment later, a witch wearing a long apron over a mossy-green robe emerged from a room halfway down the corridor.

"I'll see you in the morning, Emily," she said to someone in the room just before she closed and locked the heavy metal door. She then approached Simon and the Potters with a welcoming smile. "Simon, could you go visit with Philip? He seemed more anxious than usual when he arrived."

"Sure," he said. He walked down the hall whistling.

"Now, what can I do for you?" Charlotte asked.

"We're looking for two friends of ours, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Remus is--"

"Say no more," Charlotte said with a smile. "I've met them both, and neither is here. What made you look for them here?"

"They were supposed to be at our house an hour and a half ago," James explained. "Remus usually spends the full moon with us. Now we can't find either one, and I started thinking about that man from the Werewolf Registry who visited them--"

"Morris Burdock," Charlotte said with a frown. "Haven't seen him today, either." She bit her lip as she thought and glanced at her watch. "SIMON!" His head popped out of a doorway a moment later. "When I was out sick last week, did any reports of unregistered werewolves come in?"

"Just one," he replied while walking back. "I met Mr. Burdock there. Turned out to be two brothers. They both denied it, but I'm sure at least one was. They'd certainly gone to a lot of trouble to make their cellar escape proof. Problem is, they're Muggles, so they couldn't make it soundproof--that's why we got called. Some of--"

"Simon," Charlotte held up a hand to silence him. "Did Mr. Burdock say he was going to bring them in for the full moon?"

"Yeah, both of them."

"Has he?"

"Oh--no. That's strange, isn't it?"

Charlotte turned back to James and Lily. "He should have brought them here. There's one other place I can think of where he'd lock up suspected werewolves, a couple of cells in the sub-basement of our offices. I think we'd better go right away, but I need one of you to stay here. Simon knows all there is to know about this place," she gave him a kind smile that made him blush with pride, "but he needs a licensed witch or wizard on hand."

"I'm a squib," he explained with a slightly embarrassed shrug. "All the doors lock and unlock manually, and the silencing charms coincide with moonrise, so you're pretty much here for the 'just in case'."

James immediately looked at Lily with the unspoken question in his eyes.

"Of course I'll stay," she said with a smile. "Go!"

"Love you, Lily." He gave her a quick kiss and followed Charlotte through the doors.

"Love you too, Prongs!" she called after him.

* * * * *

Sirius sat in a corner watching Remus pace. At least he watched Remus's feet. He didn't want to meet his eyes and risk resuming their argument.

Brian and Eddie were still sitting near a back corner. Eddie had run out of tears at last. The strain was starting to show on Brian's face. He was staring fixedly at the vaulted ceiling. Occasionally, one or the other would say, "Remember when..." and begin to reminisce. Sirius found it very disturbing.

Remus's feet suddenly stopped just in front of Sirius, and Remus crouched down to look him in the eye.

"O.K., Padfoot, which side can you defend yourself better on?"

"What?"

"In a dogfight, can you protect yourself easier if I come from your left or your right?"

"I don't know--right."

"Then this is the corner you want to be in."

"Remus, I already told you--"

"Tell Brian to stay in this corner; you can get in front of him. We'll have to get near the door to attack from your left, and we won't want to get near the silver. It'll push us into attacking from the front and the right."

"Thank you." Sirius's vision blurred as tears welled up in his eyes. He felt as if an enormous load had been lifted off his shoulders knowing that Remus approved of his decision to fight. He hadn't wanted to go into tonight with tension between them.

"Just promise me that you'll win."

Sirius smiled. "Don't worry, Moony. I promise to kick your ass."

Remus did not return the smile. "I'm not joking, Sirius. Fight to kill. We will."

Time seemed to slow for Sirius as he watched Remus gracefully unfold from a crouch to stand and then walk away. He wanted to call Remus back, but he couldn't speak. He had no words. He had only emptiness inside. He wanted to save a life. He hadn't realized that he'd have to take lives to do it. He threw his head back against the wall and expressed himself the only way he could, a puppy's whine of despair. Remus understood.

"REMUS! SIRIUS! ARE YOU HERE?"

Remus's and Sirius's eyes met as hope was reborn. "JAMES!" they shouted together. Sirius bolted to the door and began to pound on it with his fist.

"We're in here!" he yelled. The door swung open, and James rushed in to embrace Sirius.

"I've been so worried about you two!"

"Thank you, James! You saved my ass--again!"

"Thank you, James," Remus said quietly. "Now, get out, please."

"No one is going anywhere," said a gruff voice. All eyes turned to the doorway where a scowling Morris Burdock and a worried Charlotte Stirling stood side by side. "Moonrise is minutes away--"

"Less," Remus stated.

"--and as far as my office is concerned, all four are werewolves. All four have to be locked in."

"Damn," Charlotte said with a worried glance at Remus. "All right. We have two cells. Time to tell the truth, everyone. Who can stay in here with Remus, and who should go into the other?"

"Eddie has to stay in here. Brian and I in the other," Sirius stated. He deliberately put his hand flat against the silver door as he looked back at Brian.

Brian stared in shock. "But--you--"

"Go!" Eddie urged as he pushed his brother forward.

Sirius heard the door of Remus's cell being relocked as he walked into the neighboring one.

"Sorry about this," Charlotte said as she closed their door. This room was the same, albeit slightly smaller. Brian put his hand flat against the cool silver and then turned to face Sirius.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

Sirius shrugged. "What was there to say?" "I can save myself if I want to, but I can't save you. Or, I can try to save you, but I'll have to kill your brother and my friend to do it." "Did you want me to tell Eddie that he might kill me as well as you?" Brian sighed and shook his head.

Unearthly cries of agony suddenly filled the air. The screams were neither fully human nor fully lupine. Moonrise was ripping the werewolves' bodies apart and reshaping them. Sirius saw Brian go pale as he turned toward the wall separating him from his brother. He reached out and put a hand against the wall. Sirius suddenly felt very cold, as if dozens of ghosts filled the room.

"I'll never get used to hearing that," Brian said as he brushed away tears. "He's in so much pain."

"How long has he been a werewolf?" Sirius asked. He hoped a conversation, any conversation, would help distract them both from the horrible sounds.

"Since he was sixteen, three years ago." Brian began pacing the floor in an unconscious imitation of Remus. "Our dad was killed saving him, and then these wizards--I didn't even know about wizards before that--wizards from 'Werewolf Control' or something showed up and killed the wolf. They'd tracked him from someplace. And--God help me--I was glad they killed it--him. Now I know that it wasn't his fault, but then--he had just killed my dad." Brian stopped pacing and looked at Sirius, his eyes pleading for understanding.

"Of course," Sirius said softly.

"But then the wizards started saying that it was good my dad had died. They said that if he had been bitten and lived, he'd be a werewolf too. And they laughed and said they would have had to kill two werewolves that night instead of one."

"So you kept it a secret that Eddie had been bitten."

"I had to! They wanted to kill him." Brian's voice was full of anguish now. "Are they going to kill him?"

"No, Brian," Sirius said as he put an arm around Brian's shoulders, just as Brian had done for Eddie. "As long as he doesn't hurt anyone, he'll be O.K." Sirius knew it wasn't as simple as that, but Brian needed reassurance now.

Sirius heard a key turn in the lock and realized that the cries of agony had ceased. Remus and Eddie had fully transformed. Muffled sounds of growling and snarling hinted at the dogfight taking place in their cell.

"You gentlemen are free to leave now," Charlotte said as she opened the door. Then she turned and addressed someone outside Sirius's line of sight. "Unless you'd still like to argue that they are werewolves, Morris? I will be lodging a formal complaint to your supervisors about your actions tonight."

"You know they'll take my side," he replied smugly as Sirius stepped out into the hallway. "You and your idiot squib assistant are they only freaks in the ministry who like monsters."

Sirius wanted to pound the smug look off his face. He charged at Burdock, but James grabbed him and struggled to hold him back.

"Let me go, James! He tried to kill us!"

"Just once, Padfoot, don't make things worse! Think about Remus!"

"FUCK!" Sirius knew he was right, but he was not happy about it. He pulled away from James and stalked to the end of the hallway where he could slouch against the wall and watch Burdock from a safe distance. He saw Burdock return the two confiscated wands to James, and James pocket them both. He saw Charlotte Stirling put a hand on Brian's arm and speak to him reassuringly. He was close enough to hear everything that was said, but all he heard was the blood pounding in his ears. Burdock had arranged things tonight so one friend would kill another, so one brother would kill another, and he would get away with it.

Sirius was so intent upon watching Burdock leave that it took a few moments to register that the person Burdock passed on the stairs was none other than Peter. James assured Peter that Remus was safe (he and Eddie were already much quieter). Peter explained that Mrs. Lupin had sent him to the Werewolf Support Services office to look for Charlotte Stirling and to ask for her assistance in locating Remus.

After assuring Brian that she would soon be in touch, Charlotte returned to Greystone to relieve Lily. Brian opted to spend the night in the unlocked cell, where James conjured a bed for him.

"Go home and get some rest, Sirius," James said.

"We are not leaving Remus here alone. I don't trust that bastard." As he spoke, Sirius looked up the stairs Burdock had climbed.

"I'll stay," James said. "I think you need to go cool off. Come back early tomorrow morning with clothes for Remus. He didn't get a chance to undress before transforming, so that robe is history."

"I'll come with you, Sirius," Peter said. "I'll buy you a drink at the Leaky Cauldron. You look like you could use one."

"Yeah--thanks, Peter."

* * * * *

Peter put a second pint in front of Sirius. "O.K., Padfoot, talk. You've hardly said two words since we got here, and that's definitely abnormal for you."

Sirius leaned back in his chair and stared up at the heavy beams supporting the ceiling. "Yeah--it's just--oh, hell."

Peter chuckled. "Wow, the Registry creep achieved the impossible. He left Sirius Black speechless."

Sirius scowled. "No, about him I have plenty to say. He's a fuckin' sadistic bastard. Locking up three possible werewolves in a cell with one known werewolf. I was willing to believe he made a mistake with me, but me and Brian, no. He was trying to kill us. And, I'm willing to bet all the money in my--scratch that--in James's Gringotts' vault that he's done this before."

"Big bet," Peter said with a frown. "Unfortunately, I think you're right."

They both sat in silence for a few moments. Peter drew a circle on the table with spilled foam, and Sirius raked his fingers through his hair with a sigh.

"Tonight was so bizarre," Sirius murmured. "Remus--" Peter waited patiently for Sirius to collect his thoughts. "Everything was fine until we found out that Brian wasn't a werewolf. I mean, I had no idea how I could keep two werewolves away from him all night, but I had to try. I had no choice, did I?"

Peter shook his head. "No, I guess not. That's who you are."

"But Remus--" Sirius wasn't sure if he should continue. He couldn't comprehend why Remus had said the things he did. He was torn between seeking Peter's possible insight and keeping the matter private.

"You can tell me," Peter urged. "We don't have secrets between the four of us."

"You're right." Sirius took a large gulp of beer, "For courage," and stared down at the table away from Peter's eyes. "Remus told me to let them kill Brian." Sirius glanced up at Peter's face and was relieved that he did not seem horrified.

"Did he give a reason?" Peter asked calmly.

"Yeah, he said that they'd kill me if I tried to protect him, and he didn't think it was worth risking my life."

"That makes sense."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'THAT MAKES SENSE'?" Sirius shouted. The half dozen patrons of the Leaky Cauldron all turned to stare, and Sirius lowered his voice to an angry growl. "If saving someone's life isn't worth risking your own life, then what is?"

"For some people, nothing is worth the risk." Peter then leaned in closer, as if what he had to say was being shared in the strictest of confidence. "Sirius, you're an idealist. You would lay down your life for another's without a second thought, so you assume everyone else would do the same. But people like you are rarer than you think."

Sirius didn't want to believe the bleak picture Peter was painting, and he shook his head at the thought.

"No, listen to me." Peter spoke with conviction. "James would do it. He proved it the night he risked his life to save Snape in the tunnel."

"Thank you for bringing that up," Sirius snapped.

"But before tonight, I had no idea how you or Remus would react in that sort of situation." Peter stared at Sirius intently. "You were willing to risk your life to save that Muggle. And Remus told you--he came right out and told you--that he didn't think it was worth the risk. If your roles had been reversed, he would have let the Muggle die."

"No!" Sirius said angrily. "I can't believe that. Not Remus." But Sirius was starting to believe it, and it made him feel sick inside.

"Don't be angry at him," Peter continued. "As I said before, people like you and James are rare. Remus is the norm. Most people would opt for self-preservation."

Sirius saw a possibility that Peter was misreading Remus. "But he didn't keep opting for self-preservation. Once he accepted that I was going to fight, he encouraged me to fight to kill. He encouraged me to kill him."

Peter sat back and considered this. He put his hands flat on the table and stared down at them. As he looked up at Sirius, he pulled his hands back and hid them under the table.

"He was telling you what he'd do if the roles were reversed. He would kill you to save himself."

"No," Sirius whispered, and then again more forcefully, "No, he wouldn't do that, not Remus.'

"Sirius," Peter said with a sigh, "for someone so smart, you can be completely stupid. It's like you're wearing blinders. You ignore what you don't want to see."

Sirius wanted this conversation to end. He wished it had never begun. He didn't want to believe the things he was starting to believe, but he couldn't bring himself to stop Peter either.

"You know that Remus is a werewolf," Peter continued, "but you don't understand what it means."

"Don't even go there, Peter," Sirius warned. "One more bigoted comment tonight and I'll explode."

Peter held up a hand to silence him. "Please, let me finish--then you can get angry if you want." Sirius leaned back with a scowl and crossed his arms. "Remus is always telling us that he is controlled by both wolf instincts and human thoughts. In a situation like tonight's, the wolf's instinct of self-preservation plus the human evaluation of the danger, both would tell him not to risk his life. And, if he chose to fight, like you did, the wolf instinct would be to fight to kill--not to injure, not to hold you at bay--to kill."

Sirius dropped his head and dug into his eyes with the heels of his hands. "I don't want to hear this; I don't want to know this."

"Don't get me wrong," Peter added. "I love Remus like a brother, I do. But if my life were in danger, I'd rather have you or James by my side."

Silence filled the air while Peter let Sirius reflect on what had been said, let him see Remus through new eyes. When Sirius finally spoke, he asked one question.

"What about you, Peter? Would you risk your life to save someone else?"

Peter smiled slightly. "I don't think anyone knows until it happens to them. Of course, I'd like to believe that I would, but-- Do I know for sure?" He shook his head.

* * * * *

After a few hours of troubled sleep, Sirius got ready to return to the office building housing Werewolf Support Services and the Beast Division of the Ministry of Magic. After packing an old pair of jeans and a sweatshirt for Eddie, he went into Remus's room to get one of his robes. He found himself staring at the embroidered pillow that read, "Amatis Lupum."

"Cave lupum," Sirius whispered.