If Only

                If Only

Hermione apparated to the cemetery, like she did every year. Carrying with her, six red roses.

Gazing at the sky,thinking about how beautiful it was, she tripped and fell over a tree limb sticking out of the ground. She felt a sharp pain in her hands and knees, and when she looked at her hands she found that they were cut up by some glass that someone had left lying on the ground. She then looked down at her knees, they were also cut up pretty badly.

She hadn't been having a good day so she figured that this was as good a time as any to cry. When she started to cry she remembered the reason that she was crying in the first place. Because of Ron. She fell down next to the grave, silently sobbing to herself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder what could have happened. If only I wouldn't have been late. If only I had left work early, you would still be here. If only you had waited just five more minutes. If only we had to decided to meet somewhere else.

I don't think that I will ever forget the picture of you lying in the street. There you were lying in a puddle of you own blood. The crimson color staining your robes to match. Your body just lying there lifeless.

Every night I go to bed, only to wake up hours later screaming as I remember that night. I sometimes wonder why I even sleep...all that happens is I sleep for a couple of hours and then wake up. After that, I can never go back to dream land.

When I arrived at the restaurant we were supposed to meet at, I saw Ministry Wizards trying to get to your body without the Muggles being too suspicious of what had happened. They didn't want to have to explain why you were carrying a wand and a sack full of galleons. If only it had been someone else. If only it wasn't you.

Now that I am a teacher at Hogwarts, I have something to keep me from going totally insane. I teach Muggle Studies on account that no one will ever have to die like you did. I remember all those times I tried to convince you to take Muggle Studies. If only you had listened. If only we had learned about Muggle cars. You might not have tried to cross the street. If only you had apparated home instead, like you always do.

You were my best friend at school, so no one was shocked when we announced our engagement. We were supposed to be married and have a dozen kids by now running around the house.

Maybe instead of grieving over him so much, I should think of all of the good things that we had done. One thing that I remember very clearly is the first time I met you on the Hogwarts Express. I was looking for Neville's toad, Trevor, when I stumbled across you and Harry eating all the sweets that you could. You both thought that I was stuck-up. At the time I didn't think that it was very funny, but now when I look back on it, I find it quite amusing.

I was walking around the halls at school a couple of weeks ago, when I remembered the tunnel behind the Witch's Hump. I whispered the password and began the journey to Honeydukes. I stopped just before I reached the steps and lit my wand. There plain as it had been when we wrote it there 6 years ago was; R.W+H.G with a heart around it.

If only you were still here, I wouldn't have to base my life on 'If only...'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

With her speech done, Hermione set the 6 red roses that she had brought with her on Ron's grave, one for each year they had been apart, and left the cemetery. It would be another year before she would make the trip and give the same speech, wondering what would have happened, if only Ron hadn't been killed by the drunk driver.