Maybe Tomorrow

Maybe Tomorrow

By: J. McKenna

If I could go back in time to change one thing, one thing out of everything I've ever done wrong, I would go back four years to the day I left the wizarding world.

On first thought, I don't know why I left. I guess I finally realized how I impacted the wizarding world. I tried to fix what I had done but my father caught on and disowned me.

A few days later, my mother was murdered. Why? I don't know, but I presume it was because she tried to talk my father into returning to his senses. As mean and as cold as she seemed, she really did love me.

At her funeral, I discovered that my girlfriend really did care about me. Ironically enough, in sixth year she was my mission from the Dark Lord. I had to get close to her and in the process we came to trust one another, to love each other. We never did get to spend much time together while I was in school, but when I finally graduated we never left each other's side.

Okay, we did, but it wasn't like we had a choice... She would have work, I had training, and we both always had some mission from the Order. However, when we were together, we just... fit. Her hand in mine, her body against mine, her red-auburn hair, her bright brown eyes... gosh, she was beautiful - and from what I gathered from her brother, almost the carbon copy of her mother, save her eyes.

I want to go back to her, I really do, but something is holding me back. I guess, to put it simply, I'm scared of going back. I'm scared of going back to the wizarding world and not having anyone. What if she's moved on, found someone better, or has a family of her own? I don't think I could live with myself.

I want to go back and I probably will someday, but right now I am not sure if I am ready to face the fact that I've lost her. How could she want me back? I deserted her.

God, if my father could hear me.... He's probably rolling over in his grave at the moment; his son's gone soft. That may be true, but guess what father? I'm still alive.

Harry managed to defeat Voldemort; I don't think he really had any other choice, mind. It was very confusing though. It seemed that old Voldy had kidnapped Hermione. Even though Harry and Hermione had no romantic relationship, he still cared for her and she was still one of his best friends. It's something I have trouble comprehending.

So Voldemort got what he wanted; Harry. But he wasn't alone. The Order, knowing what Voldemort was planning, showed up right behind Harry and was able to kill off the majority of the Death Eaters. One could think that the Order planned for Voldemort to kidnap Hermione and set him up! There were casualties on our side, like Albus Dumbledore, but they were proud to go down the way they did.

After, everyone concentrated on Harry and Voldemort. We were able to help Harry hold him off. Then, when he was weak enough, Harry killed him with the same curse that Voldemort had used upon his parents. I kind of feel sorry for Harry. All that he had gone through, I understand now.

I left that night. I couldn't deal with what had happened, I guess. I didn't even get to see her one last time; I just left. I'm such a coward. Five years ago, I would have never thought I could be where I am now. Half of my school friends are dead or in Azkaban and I, The Great Slytherin, in a muggle world. It's laughable really.

Maybe I will return someday, just to see her. Maybe, maybe someday I'll set things right. You must always remember that tomorrow is another day. Maybe tomorrow.