Memories in Time

"You know you make me get tongue twisted. You've always made my brain shut off. How do you do it? When I close my eyes, I still see you smile; I hear your laughter in the silence." Draco was flushed and nervous, but it was something he had to say to Harry. His lover was staring at him where he sat across the bed. This talk was a long time coming, but now that the time had come Draco felt as if his throat would burst as the words rasped out of his throat between sobs.

"Harry, I love you so much. I never want to let you go, but I don't want to be your second choice, and I don't want to just be friends. You keep saying you're not in love, and yet I am, but I don't want to be in your way, either. I can't stay away from you. I don't want to let you go. It's killing me, but if you're telling me the truth, then I will try to let you go. I'm sorry if it meant more to me than it did to you. But I can't lie to myself anymore. Goodbye...Potter."

There were no more tears from Draco; he had cried them all out years ago. All that was left was the ice cold ache from his chest. He stood and walked out of the room before Harry could say anything. There was nothing Harry could say that would stop this pain. Opening the door to their flat, Draco walked down to the street and continued on to the coffee shop on the corner. He just wanted to be alone and have his thoughts stop racing through his mind. Sitting down with his coffee, he felt the memories start to creep up on him. Slowly, the tears reformed along his red-rimmed eyes as the past played itself out again.

It had been such a quick hook up. One night at a club, a drink or two and the years of pain and hurt had fallen away. Damage that Draco had thought would have been irreparable just seemed to melt as the two boys talked and laughed. They had danced to many songs and Draco marveled at how Harry's body had moved to the fast techno songs that were a staple of most gay clubs. The serpentine movement of Harry's hips against Draco's pelvis was scintillating.

He had walked Harry home and Harry had invited him in for coffee. One thing had led to another and they ended up on the couch snogging. Draco's lips flushed as he remembered those first few kisses. They were surprisingly normal, but Harry had meant each one and that made them special.

Their friends had been accepting and the new couple soon began talking of long term goals. Draco had finished his apothecary license and was in the market for a new shop and Harry had begun an apprenticeship at Ollivander's. That had surprised Draco quite a bit, but Harry had said that he was tired of fighting and he wanted to be more involved in the theory of magic rather than its destructive properties. Things seemed to be coming together nicely.

Then, after six months of being together, Harry comes home one afternoon from Ollivander's and Draco could tell something was wrong. Harry would never mention or discuss the obstacle in their relationship to Draco, but Draco knew something was wrong. Things had dramatically cooled off in the week since that afternoon. From then on the 'obstacle' seemed insurmountable. Draco had no idea what was going on in Harry's mind.

Draco knew that Harry was a private person and hated people prying into his emotions...at least that's what Draco told himself. For weeks, he kept repeating that to himself trying to quiet the worry that he was losing Harry. A few weeks later, Draco could no longer stand it. He was going to find out what was wrong with his boyfriend and they would deal with it together. Draco had had no one since before the war, no family or trustworthy friends. He couldn't lose Harry too.

Surprisingly, all it took was Draco coming up behind Harry and enveloping in a hug. He felt Harry tense, predictably, and he asked what was wrong. Harry needed no further prompting. Facing straight, ahead he began to talk.

"I'm not in love with you Draco. I'm sorry that it took me so long to figure it out, but it's true. I thought that if I didn't say anything the problem would fix itself. I still love you as a person and as my friend. I will never ever let that go. You have been the most important person in my life these last few months and you have loved me more completely than anyone ever tried to, but this...I'm getting any better."

That was all it took for Draco's reality to come crashing down around him. All the future hopes and dreams were gone. In shambles, they lay in his mind. His coffee did nothing to melt the icy pain inside him. The sobs wracked his small frame as he gave up trying to save his pride and not cry.

He felt a pair of arms encircle him. He flinched, but immediately relaxed as he recognized the scent of his 'aggressor'. "Harry?"

"Yes love, it's me. Draco, can you ever forgive me? I don't deserve it, but I don't want to lose you."

Draco looked up into Harry's green eyes and felt something inside of him move.

"Harry, I love you more than anything. If you can't see that...well I can't change that. You're the best thing to ever happen to me. I just wish you would realize that I'm not going to leave you like Ron, or Neville. I'm never going to give up. I'm a Slytherin and we are second to none at patience. I will always be here for you Harry."

To all the pedestrians on the street walking by the couple at the coffee shop was so adorable. Each passerby couldn't help but think that as long as love like that was present, the war against Voldemort had been a success. And a few silently thanked the two boys hugging in front of the coffee shop for reaffirming their own beliefs in love.