In the Valley of the Night

In the Valley of the Night

You stand before the window, gazing outward, ever outward.

I cannot know what you see.

You turn to face me, looking away from the world beyond, what world there is, turning your back on it. The steady, unchanging glow frames you in a ring of gold, shrouding your face in darkness.

"Kill me. Please. I want to die."

So thin, your voice, so very weak. The fragile words tremble in the still air between us, shattering the silence.

I shake my head sadly.

"You know that that's the one thing I cannot do." Not now, not ever.

Your shoulders slump slightly, though you can't be that surprised. You know I will never kill you. The blunt answer still manages to dismay you. You don't bother hiding anything anymore. Really, do I?

"Why?"

A strange question, that. So easily misinterpreted. I know what you are truly asking though. You want me to tell you why you are still alive, why you linger on.

"I don't know." It's the only answer I can give you, the only one that is true.

You continue to gaze at me, silent, desolate. You will not cry, you never cry anymore. You did once, long ago, when the nightmare had only just begun. But somewhere you lost the will to fight. Now you only stare.

"Why?" there is a bit more urgency in your tone, you have a sudden desire to know.

I blink, surprised. "I can't tell you that. I don't know."

You look almost angry for a moment, a passion that has not been in your face for a long time, as far as time has meaning for us. But there's no way of knowing, the light is always the same. I don't know how long we've been here. I don't think you know, either.

"This isn't fair."

It's an old refrain, familiar, one I've heard a thousand times before.

"No, it's not."

Agreeing with you is easiest. It is the avenue that requires the least thought.

Looking at you, it is sometimes hard to remember what you were before. But I can, if I try. You used to sparkle, in a way. Not any longer.

Did I sparkle once, too?

It doesn't really matter. You are faded, and I'm faded, and perhaps one day we will no longer exist at all.

Swallowed by the solitude.

And what will I do, my oldest of friends, if you finally disappear?

Perhaps, I, too, will fade away.

I think we are dead, here in this place; that we died and were sent here. And why not? We have no needs, we just... are.

And it frightens me.

Does it frighten you, too?

Sometimes I wonder.

Do you still feel anything at all?

I open my eyes; I didn't realise that I had closed them. You are watching me as though you're only seeing me for the first time.

You look lost, like a child in a wood.

The desolation in your still-dry eyes is heartbreaking.

"Don't leave me, Blaise. Please, don't leave me."

I manage to smile, a faint shadow of a smile.

"Never, Draco."

You nod once and smile, too. And then you turn away, back to the world outside.

You stand before the window, gazing outward, ever outward.

I cannot know what you see.