Snape's Worst Memory as Told by Remus Lupin

A short fic of Snape's Worst Memory told in Remus Lupin's POV with an ending that could have been.

Answer thirteen. Answer thirteen seems out of place. I think I'm missing something. Remus Lupin was sitting in a desk in the great hall rereading his Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL Exam. He scratched his chin with the end of his quill thinking hard. He was sure he was forgetting something.

"Quills down, please!" squeaked Professor Flitwick.

Oh well. Remus sighed. I suppose it's only one question. The exam papers flew into the air and Professor Flitwick lamely tried to catch them. They were free to go.

Only one OWL to go. Remus joined James, Sirius, and Peter who were making their way outside.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" Sirius asked.

"Loved it. Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent Question."

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern.

"Think I did, One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin." That question surely makes up for thirteen. Hmm...but what was the answer?

"You run around with a werewolf once a month--"

Remus snapped out of his train of thought.

"Keep your voice down." I don't think anyone heard him...but if someone did. You think after the countless times I've told him he would hush up around other people! Will James ever learn?!

The four boys stopped at a beech tree near the lake throwing themselves in the grass in the shade of its branches.

Perfect place for a bit of reviewing for Transfiguration. Remus pulled out his text and began to read.

It was like any other day the friends spent outside. Prongs was playing with a snitch while Wormtail watched in excitement. Then Padfoot asked him to put it away.

"I'm bored," said Sirius. "Wish it was a full moon."

"You might." It might be fun for him but it is not for me. "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here..." Remus held his book out to Sirius.

"I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all," Sirius said.

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," said James. "Look who it is..."

Sirius looked up. "Excellent. Snivellus."

Oh god. Won't they give it a break? There are so many other things they could do. Well that's Prongs and Padfoot for you. Remus turned back to his book, a faint frown line appearing between his eyebrows. He stared at the pages but kept an open ear.

"All right, Snivellus?" James said loudly.

One. Two. Three. Yep, there they go.

Snape had reacted quickly taking out his wand, but James was faster. "Expelliarmus!" Snape's wand was now in the grass behind him.

Cue crowd. Sure enough, everyone around turned to watch, slowly making their way over to James and Snape.

If Wormtail would only stop squirming. If he wants to see that badly he can go with the crowd. I am trying to review here. It's times like this when I wish James and Sirius would just grow up.

Several people laughed as Snape struggled to get up under James' Impediment Jinx. James and Sirius continued to tease Snape as he let out a grumble of swear words.

"Wash out your mouth," James said coldly. "Scourgify." Pink soap bubbles filled Snape's mouth.

Cue Lily Evans. James is just going to make a fool out of himself once again. He needs to realize that showing off is not going to help him get a date with her.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," said James, "it's more the fact he exists, if you know what I mean..." Everyone laughed.

That wasn't funny. How many times have I told James that he wouldn't like it if he was the one being bullied?

Lily insulted James.

Lily insults James. James goes on about stopping if she agrees to go out with him. Lily turns him down with an insult. It's the same every time. Hmph. Remus chuckled quietly to himself. At least it will make something interesting to mention at their wedding.

"OI!" shouted Sirius.

Snape shot a flash of green light from his wand at James, the Impediment Jinx having worn off. James' cheek started to bleed. Remus looked over out of the corner of his eye, still making it seem that his book was the only thing of interest to him.

This is going a bit too far. I should stop them. How many times have I told them before? Sure, every once in awhile the pranks are a good laugh but it's never funny when the victim gets hurt. Both of them are taking it too far.

"Let him down!" Lily screamed in frustration.

Remus looked up. Snape was hanging upside-down in the air. His robes were over his head, a graying pair of underpants revealed. He fell to the ground. Lily had her wand out, pointing it at James and Sirius. James muttered the counter-curse to the Petrificus Totalus he had placed on Snape.

"There you go," James said. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus--"

Snape struggled to his feet. "I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her."

Remus froze. This is going way too far. It has to stop...soon.

"Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."

Ouch. Remus smiled slightly.

James was angered and was demanding an apology from Snape. Lily had started shouting at James, she didn't want an apology. Lily was screaming insults at James. It seemed she thought he was as bad as Snape. She turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!"

He is never going to learn, is he?

Remus looked up. Snape was hanging upside-down once again.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" James said.

Alright. Remus sighed as he placed his book down and got up ignoring the shocked expression on Wormtail's face. Time for it to end.

"Expecto Patronum." Remus' Patronus soared through the air making its way to a window of the castle.

Professor McGonagall came running out the Main Doors followed by two other teachers. Remus watched the scene clear away before sitting back down, picking up his text.

Now what do we have to know about Vanishing Spells...