I Believe You

Hermione's heart was still singing when she realized that Ron's lips were no longer on hers. She opened her eyes to see his concerned and aggravated face looking upon her. Her heart had no time to float down from its emotional high when Ron started ranting. She was far too preoccupied with the kiss, damnit! What was he doing cutting off a perfectly good snog?! When he apologized, her heart fell. When he confessed, it jumped up through her chest and out of her body. Then he left and Hermione just stood there gaping at him. That man would be the death of her! Intelligent as she was, she just couldn't understand the complicated--or was it simple, maybe daft--mind that was Ron Weasley's.

It took only a moment for Hermione to realize that Ron had actually gone and left her before she took off after him. She strode towards the door ready to run after Ron and take him bodily back into her apartment if it came to that. She was the one who needed to explain and apologize. After all, she was the one with the boyfriend, who she had been dating for two weeks now, and who was really a great, sweet guy...Hermione recalled. But then she thought of Ron and there really was no comparison. She loved Ron.

"Ron!" The object of her thoughts popped out of her mind and into the hallway just in front of her door. He didn't leave after all. The tall redhead was bent over, head bowed, hands resting on his knees apparently trying to keep himself up. Hermione was suddenly concerned. He wasn't breathing normally. "Ron? Are you okay?"

Ron stayed silent and tried desperately to gain control of himself.

"Hey..." Hermione said again. She walked closer and extended a hand to his shoulder. She peeped at his bowed head and tried to catch his eyes. He was staring fixedly at the ground. "Ron, look at me," Hermione said firmly.

Ron sighed and stood up straight. He was trying to gain confidence through mere height advantage. Maybe if Hermione hadn't known Ron for 12 years she would've been intimidated; unfortunately, she knew him far too well. She smiled inwardly admitting to herself, he's definitely tall. "Can you please go back inside so I can explain?"

Ron looked at her, wrongly reading the expression of regret on her face. He was hurt at what he saw there, but complied with Hermione's request. He walked slowly back into the apartment and plopped himself tiredly in the big armchair by the fireplace. Hermione followed after him with a determinedly. If Ron was brave enough to admit the truth to her, then she should be too. Consequences be damned. She sat down in front of Ron.

Here goes nothing, Hermione thought to herself. "Ron, I was the one who kissed you first. I am sorry, okay? I should be the one to apologize." She stressed the words I. "I just..." She bowed her head and closed her eyes not knowing how to say it. How was it that he so easily said those three words to her when she was starting to lose breath just thinking about doing it? "I love you too," she mouthed faintly to herself. Nervous that he might have heard it, she peeked at him through a bowed head. He wasn't looking at her. Maybe he didn't hear it. He looked so cornered and helpless, just staring straight into the fire. Hermione felt her confidence increase as she studied him. He needs to hear it as much as I need to say it to him, she thought to herself. Gathering her strength and courage, she stood up and walked right in front of him. She kneeled on the floor leveling with him. Ron tried to look somewhere else, but Hermione caught his eye. "Please, don't look away," she pleaded.

Ron looked at her resignedly and Hermione saw a hint of hurt hiding behind his eyes. She raised her hand to cup his cheek, and his eyes started to glisten. "Ron, I love you too...don't you understand?"

Ron stared blankly back at her. Hermione wanted desperately for him to react. He can't just stay quiet now. She had said it and it felt great. But why wasn't he happy? Why wasn't he instantly on her, devouring her eager lips and gathering her in his arms? Hermione frowned, unsure of what to do next. She suddenly felt conscious under his gaze. She remembered Greg guiltily and felt selfish. She had always known in her heart that what she felt for Ron was true. But this was the first time she ever doubted if it was right. Did Ron think she was jerking him around or maybe toying with his emotions? Probably not. But she felt so insecure at that moment, that all rational thought went out the window. All that mattered was that Ron knew what she felt was true. "Ron, did you hear me?"

"Yes," Ron answered softly. A moment passed, and he didn't continue.

Hermione's nerves were getting so strained now. She released him from her touch. She willed the tears to stay deep inside of her. But she couldn't control them. She inhaled haltingly as her eyes moistened with tears.

"Hermione, I don't know what to say..."

Finally! Hermione exhaled with relief. "I...just please say I didn't hear you wrong--"

"I love you. You heard right."

"And I believed you. I know you heard me say it too. But why does it feel like you don't believe me."

Ron looked closely at Hermione. "What are you trying to accomplish Hermione? I'm a big boy, I can take rejection...you don't have to say it back."

Hermione glared at Ron now. He was so dense, it was infuriating! "I said it because it was true, Ron! I love you! You want me to shout it to the mountaintops? I will! I love you! Get that through your thick head!"

"But..." Ron faltered. His innocent, self-conscious, I'm-not-good-enough façade would not work on Hermione. She knew him far too well.

"No, buts, Ron. I do love you," she said softly assuring him.

Ron thought about this a moment. He couldn't wrap his mind around it. "But what about Greg?" Ron insisted.

Hermione sighed. "I've been feeling so lonely and frustrated...and he was there. He does make me happy. He makes such great and interesting company." She paused unsurely. "I don't know..."

"Do you love him?"

"I love you, Ron."

"Please stopsaying that."

"Ron, you're really starting to get on my nerves. Why the hell not?"

"You're committed to someone else, Hermione."

"I know that. But that doesn't make me love you any less."

Ron couldn't find an answer to this. Tired of the fighting and the thinking, he reached out for Hermione's hand and said. "Okay, Hermione. I believe you."