Drops of Lily

James looked down at the other end of the table and sighed. He glumly forked some eggs into his mouth and swallowed them without bothering to chew. He couldn't chew. He was surprised he could even open his mouth, it was so dry. Ever since yesterday night, his mouth had been dry and sealed, opening only now for food. James thought it wasn't worth eating the food, as it tasted like sawdust, anyway.

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey

It was the day after their Defence against the Dark Arts exam. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had all gone down to the lake. There had been a bunch of other students there: Allie Harper, the girl Peter liked; Michael Thompson, the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain and Seeker; Snape (or Snivellus, as the gang had called him not so affectionately,) and of course, Lily. James had made an absolute fool of himself by teasing Snape the way he had. It was mean, James knew that. No, more than mean. It was disgusting. No wonder Lily wasn't impressed. But then, Lily was never impressed by his dumb jokes or accidentally-on-purpose-messed up hair. And the only reason James did all this was to impress her!

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there

'Does she even know that I like her?' James automatically stopped himself. 'Do I like her?'

He closed his eyes and pictured Lily. Red hair, long and flowing down her back; bright green eyes that smiled more than her mouth; and a laugh that sang. Yeah, he did. She didn't notice him, no, not at all. She was too busy sticking up for Snape. Snape was a creep. A hex-happy creep. Didn't Lily know that? James scowled. How anyone could not know it was beyond his comprehension.

James did a mental rewind-and-freeze. He had never really liked someone before. There were all those good-looking girls in other houses, but he didn't really care about them. They were good for a butterbeer, maybe a quick snog if they were really nice. He'd never stared at them for hours on end. Ok, maybe minutes. Not hours. Never hours.

She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there's time to grow, hey, hey

Suddenly Lily laughed. The laugh echoed, travelling all through the hall and making Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkle and McGonagall's pursed mouth relax into a tight smile. Dumbledore's bright blue eyes scanned over the Hall, seeming to settle on James. James was sure he'd seen Dumbledore wink, but he wasn't certain. 'Even the teachers can tell!' James yelled in his mind. Did the teachers know everything? Did they know that James loved the way Lily hummed Muggle songs under her breath in between classes? Did they become cheerful at the sound of her laugh, or the way her eyes smiled? The way she was?

I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ole' Jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

No. 'She thinks I'm a jerk,' James told himself. Of course she did. The way he made fun of Snape, the way he was loud in the halls, the way he was always playing with the Snitch he'd nicked, the way he let Peter fawn over him. 'I'm a coward,' James realised. 'A big, fat, ugly coward who is afraid to stop showing off in case no one likes me anymore. In case they realise I'm nothing special, just plain, nothing special James Potter; while she's spectacular, pretty, smart, has-real-friends Lily Evans.'

And tell me, did Venus blow your mind

And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Lily's cheerful laugh echoed through the Hall again. She got up with her friend Nadia and the two walked out of the Great Hall. James scowled into his eggs. Why was she so happy? Why wasn't he happy like that? Could he be?

"James!" yelped Sirius, waving an arm in front of James' face. "Are you alive there? We're going outside for a bit. Come with us." Sirius got up, and motioned to Remus and Peter. Peter jumped up and hurried after Sirius. Remus took another sip of juice and got up slowly. He gave James a tiny smile and walked after Sirius and Peter. From the entrance, Peter gave a squeak and a wave; Sirius grinned mischievously. James got up, slung his bag over his shoulder, and started walking towards his friends. James realised just then that Lily was different from any other fifteen year old girl - very different. He looked back at his friends and started walking outside. Lily had found herself. James was still looking.

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way.