I'll Never Forget

I know it's been a long time and I know I should forget. But I know I'll never forget him.

The rain plasters the window of my dormitory and then roll down and join the small stream of water collected in the bottom of the window. I can't join the rest of them. They have moved on and continued their daily lives and gone back to the way things used to be. But I can't. Things will never be the same. No, not without him.

I remember his eyes. They were the most enchanting eyes I have ever seen. He could warm up a room simply by stepping into it. And he had warmed my heart simply by stepping into it.

He's gone now, and I can't fight the tears. Sometimes I want to die, most of the time, I just want him back here in my life, the way it used to be.

I remember the last time he kissed me, it was a sweet and long kiss. His eyes shimmered with tears, but behind them I knew there was confidence. He was the one who never gave up, the one who never lost. I trusted he would come back to me. I was wrong.

I remember the night when he came to me and tried to comfort me. My mother had just passed away and I was ruined beyond repair, or so I thought. He had talked and listened, and that was all I needed. But then he kissed me, and I knew he was all I've ever wanted. We spent some of the best days of our lives together, and I'll never forget them.

People thought that he enjoyed his status. Of course, they must have thought why wouldn't he? He was beautiful, popular and wonderful. But behind the stunning, non-chalant boy he appeared to be, there was his dark past, and it traumatized his beyond belief. I tried to comfort him as he did me. I let him into my world, and he let me share his. I couldn't have asked for more.

And the time we made love for the first time in both of our lives, I knew it all. I knew he belonged with me and I belonged with him. It was our destiny. Not to be ruined, but shared for all time, and even past the time when we both would be gone. But his life took an unexpected twist and changed my world forever. No. It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

But it had. It was a cold March morning when Dumbledore had told me the news. Those words had plunged deeply into my heart and still have not left. I cried. I cried for days and days. I missed classes, I stopped eating, I stopped thinking, I basically just stopped. There was no more left of me than there was of him. I was just as good as dead. Why did it all have to happen now? Just when we found this thing out. By god, he was only seventeen. Why did he have to die? Of course, no one deserves death. I would not wish death upon anyone, not even my worst enimies. Death is a cold hand of pain that finds its way into your soul and rips and pulls at it until you are nothing more. I myself, am nothing more.

I don't even think I've tried to deal with his passing, I just let grief take its course. I didn't want help even though countless people have offered me it. I didn't want closure. Help and closure would not bring him back, nothing would and I tried my hardest to accept that. But I couldn't. And the thing that hurts me the most is I know that. Damnit, why does this have to be so hard?

And now I find myself walking out of my dorm. I rip down the staircase, run through the common room and eventually I am out of the castle. Tears sting my eyes as I run through the field and come to stop at the end of the forest. I collapse to my knees and break down. I clutch a rose in my hand. Tied to it is a small piece of parchment. On it is everything I need to say to him and everything I feel for him because He has never left me. Not really. I set the rose next to his tombstone. More tears flood my eyes as I stare at his name. That was enough to kill me again.

Here rests Harry James Potter, beloved friend and an extraordinary boy. He will never be forgotten as The Boy Who Lived. May he rest in peace.

1987-2003

I kissed my hand and brought it to the stone. I smiled, but I screamed inside. Most people can get over deaths, it passes, but I'll never get over it. I'll never forget how much he meant to me. I'll never forget how he came into my life and changed me. I'll never forget.

The small piece of parchment flipped over and revealed my message.

I love you.

I always will.

Love Hermione