What Not To Do When Things Go Wrong

Warning: I may write a sequel to this story..

One day Harry was walking down a cobblestone path in the middle of Hogsmeade. All of the sudden, something happened.

Ron ran into him and yelled, "Hey Potter-Head, I have a great plan!"

"What is it this time Weasel-face?"

"I think I am going to go on a quest and become someone cool...like that guy on Barney!"

Potter-Head was utterly confused. "You want to become Barney, Weasel-Face?"

"Well...yeah...I guess...I mean...it can't be that hard..."

Little did Weasel-Face know that becoming Barney would change his life forever.

* * * * *

"Hey Potter-Head! Look at me!" yelled Ron running down the Great Hall.

Harry was thoroughly disgusted. Ron has dressed himself in a purple day-glo full body suit, with googly eyes and a button nose.

Immediately, Harry smacked Weasel in the mouth.

"Hey! What was that for?" whined Weasel-Man.

"I dunno...I've always wanted to do that..." said Harry.

Hermione, who has a strange secret she is willing to confess, interrupts the dynamic duo.

"You guys...I think...I want to become...Osama Bin Laden."

"WHAAATT?!" cried Weasel-Face and Smoke-Potter.

"Hey, I'm not finished!" shrieked Osamione.

"Oh...sorry...sorry...very sorry...go on and finish..." mumbled Potter-Head.

HermiLaden put her hands on her hips. "Thought so."

"Thought so..." says Weasel, mocking her.

In a split second, Hermione picks up Barney-Boy and slams him on the floor.

She steps on him repeatedly until Professor Lupin falls out from the ceiling.

"Where in hell did you come from?" asks Hermione.

Professor Lupin, who is slightly stoned, stops to think about where he was.

"To tell you the truth, I was somewhere over the rainbow..."

"Oh really...?" says Weasel.

"Really Really," replies Lupin.

"Really Really Really?" asks Potter-Head.

"Yes..Really Really Really," says Lupin, with a hint of anger in his voice.

"Oh, ok," says Hermione quickly.

Then, all of the sudden, in a strange turn of events, the trio plus one other person is swept away in a tornado, and are dropped in a video game-like place.

There is a long silence, and then Ron yells out, " Hey, I know this game...it's Super Fario World! It's pretty simple...you just have to watch out for these cannonballs that fly everywhere."

Lupin asks sheepishly, "Like that big black thing coming right at..."

The cannonball mutilates Lupin, and the tubular trio is splattered with miscellaneous body parts.

"Hey!" yells Ron. "I got the heart...it must be my lucky day!"

"Yeah? Well is got his distratic muscuslistic crenium!" boasts Hermione.

Potter-Head and Weasel-Boy exchange confused looks.

"Don't you guys ever read Hogwarts-A History?" inquires Osamione.

"That has nothing to do with anything that we are talking about," replies Ron, angrily.

Hermione start to cry softly, then breaks down and throws her self to the floor, howling and weeping.

Weasel-Face goes near her to console her. When he tries to touch her, Hermione morphs into a 6-story Fire-breathing Penguin!

Potter and Ron, still in his Barney outfit, prepare themselves for battle.

Smoke-Potter pulls out his elongated Super-Bong, with an electric shock on contact.

Weasel-Face pulls out his Heroic Empty Soda Can, with a glossy shine.

Hermione rears back at the sight of the dynamic duo's impressive weapons.

"No fair...I lost my weapon, Oh wait...here it is!" Hermione exclaims, pulling out her Super Mega- Death Imposing Eraser of Doom!

"Oh no!" cries the scared wizards.

" MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...aghag...*Cough cough*...agh..." says Hermione, and chokes on her own ego (somehow).

"Wow...we're so cool...now we need Super Hero names!" says Potter-Man, enthusiastically.

"I think I am going to be...*drum roll* Evil Klepto Poptart Man!" says Ron.

"Oh yeah? Well I'm gonna be...The Sinister Garbage Boy!(dun dun dun)," proclaims Harry.

(* Narrator* And now, the Evil Klepto Poptart Man and The Sinister Garbage Boy are united as a...er...team...or something*)

Then, out of the blue, The Deadly Duo is warped back to Hogwarts, to solve the mishaps, misdoings, wrongdoings, bad things, wrong stuff, lies, bad lies, wrong lies, treason, arson, murder, Grand Theft Auto, Battery , Self- Battery, Rechargeable Batteries, Shoplifters, Shoppers, Anarchists, Shoplifter who are Anarchists who own Rechargeable Batteries, clowns that are scary, people that are scary, Pickpockets, hackers, electricity stealers that are hackers also, People with crooked teeth, Britney Spears, Godzilla, any of the fruitfully-clad Teletubbies, Barney, Evil Sombreros, Camels who are fat, and anything else that they can think of.

And Now we must say good-bye to our Super-Wizards in another episode of..." What Not To Do When Things Go Wrong"