Alone

She can't help him.

Her own son, the one person she loves most in the world, and she can't do a thing to help him. He insists that he must do it on his own, that he is strong enough, that he's a man.

But he's not a man. He's her son, her baby, her everything. She would give her own life for his, but he will not let her. He has pushed her away like garbage and her heart now lies broken at her feet.

Her options are few. She is not foolish enough to approach the Dark Lord and beg for mercy for her only child. She cannot contact her husband - what could he do even if it were possible? Azkaban is not a place conducive to letter writing and rescue missions.

No, she cannot consider either of these options. There is only one person she can turn to, only one person she can trust.

Severus.

She knows that Bellatrix doesn't trust him, but she also knows that he is the one person who has never let her down. He will do everything in his power to help her, to help her son.

So she goes to him, cloaked in darkness, her sister by her side to accuse and aggravate. Her heart races in panic at the thought of what she is about to do. Betray the Dark Lord's confidence? For what?

My son. My only son.

She knocks on his door, too nervous to notice the warmth in his voice as he grants her entrance. All she can think of is what she must tell him and the urgency she must impress upon him. Tears flow elegantly down her pale cheeks as she begs for his assistance, the knowledge that her son's life is no longer in her hands weighing heavily on her heart. But he will help her. Severus, the one man she trusts more than any other, will help her save her son.

The words spill from her before she can stop them.

The Unbreakable Vow. The strongest magical bond between two people. The only thing that will bring her peace.

Protect my son. Help my son.

Accomplish what my son cannot.

An agonizing moment.

"I will."

She breathes a sigh of relief, feeling a sense of rest in her soul that she hasn't felt in a very long time.

~~~~~

She can't control him.

Her own son, the one she has adored and protected since he was an infant, and now the one who shoves her aside.

Leave me alone.

I can do this alone.

Alone. That's all he wants. She wishes she could give it to him, but she can't. If she leaves him alone... she shudders at the thought of what may happen to him. She can't afford anything to happen. She just couldn't bear it.

She sends him off to school with tears in her eyes. She knows what he must do, what the Dark Lord has asked of him, and she desperately wishes for his safe return. He must return. He simply must.

And so she waits. She waits for his letters that are few and far between. She waits for word from Severus, any bit of news that may ease her suffering for a moment. She waits for a release from fear, but fear binds her tightly, pulling her farther down into the depths with every doubt, every thought of him. Yet she cannot let it go, because the fear is also her comfort, the one thing that is predictable in her life.

My son. My only son.

There is nothing she can do, nothing she can say. She can only weep for what she knows will come.

~~~~~

She can't find him.

Her own son, the child born of her flesh, the one who is more a part of her than anyone else, and she cannot find him, cannot feel him. She gropes around in the darkness of her soul, begging for the connection between them to heal so that she can touch him once more.

My son. Where is my son?

It has happened. The one thing she feared the most, the one thing she tried so hard to ignore. The Dark Lord has taken his revenge.

She remembers the last time she saw him, just before the train pulled away from the station. His expression was confident, his posture determined, but her mother's heart saw the childlike fear in his eyes. She drew him into her arms and whispered that she loved him.

A sob catches in her throat as she imagines his precious face, once so sweet and perfect, now lying still in death's slumber. She hears his voice in her mind, begging the Dark Lord to spare him, promising not to fail again, pleading for another chance.

With the Dark Lord, there are no more chances.

Her son is gone, punished for his mistake. His childish belief in attainable power is ended with one order from his master.

Torture, pain, death.

It is over.

My son. My only son.

She has nothing. Everything has been taken from her, everything is gone. She is alone, truly alone, for the first time in her life.

She weeps, wrapping herself in her pain, grasping desperately for the last remaining shreds of her heart. There is nothing left for her, nothing she can do. Her son is gone forever, taking with him her very will to live.

Strong arms lift her gently from the cold floor. She barely registers his presence, but suddenly she is clinging to him, soaking her tears into his black robes. He is there for her, the only one who can be there for her, the only one she can trust with her pain.

Her son is gone. Her husband is gone. But Severus is not. He holds her in silence, letting her know that he understands, that he hurts when she hurts, and that he will not let her go through this alone.

He is something to everyone. Follower, servant, leader, confidant, professor, spy. But to her... to her he is a hero.

And she is not alone.

FIN