Rating:
PG
House:
Astronomy Tower
Characters:
Nymphadora Tonks
Genres:
Romance Drama
Era:
Multiple Eras
Stats:
Published: 02/14/2005
Updated: 02/14/2005
Words: 3,264
Chapters: 1
Hits: 847

I Need You

Gwendolyn James

Story Summary:
Why had she said it? Why had she spoken aloud those horrible words? She wished she could take them back, wished she could hold his hand and beg him to stay. But it was too late. He was gone, and she was the one who had sent him away.

Posted:
02/14/2005
Hits:
847
Author's Note:
For some reason it took me ages to write this thing... I had a completely different plot in the beginning stages, but then, about 1500 words in, I realized it was complete poo and deleted the entire thing. Upon a fresh start, this is what I ended up with. Dedicated to Slim, who cheers me on, and to the LNMUM, who keep me insane.


Her heart was broken. Completely beyond repair. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be true love, happily ever after. But it wasn't. It would never be.

The fairy tale was over.

With a sigh, she packed the last of her things in her bag, closed it, and walked out the door.

~~~~~~~~

"Thanks for letting me stay." Charlie tossed his bag on the kitchen floor and turned to face his father. "I really appreciate it."

Arthur shook his head and motioned for his son to take a seat at the table. "Your mum and I wouldn't have it any other way," he replied, "but I do want to know one thing."

"Sure," Charlie agreed, pouring himself a cup of tea and sitting down beside his father. "Anything."

"What happened?"

~~~~~~~~

Nymphadora sat on the swing and slowly pushed herself back and forth. This late, the small park was deserted, and she took comfort in the solitude it offered. Here, in the dead of night, she could be alone with her tortured thoughts.

Over and over she relived the memories. Their first date. Their first kiss. Their wedding day. Their dreams, their plans. How did this happen to us? I could have handled anything, but not this. Anything but this.

She closed her eyes against the images in her mind. Sometimes remembering was just too painful.

~~~~~~~~

"You don't understand..."

"Yes, I do! I saw you, Charlie! I saw it with my own eyes!"

"But it wasn't what you thought it was, I swear!"

"Oh? Well then, please explain it to me. I would love to hear why my husband was kissing another woman!"

~~~~~~~~

"And did you explain it to her?"

Charlie pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ignore the shooting pains in his head. He sighed. "I tried to, I really did, but to be honest, I don't even know what happened myself."

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Charlie, what's to know? Either you kissed someone else or you didn't. Which is it?"

Charlie let out a slow breath. Maybe it really was that simple. He could barely meet his father's eyes. "Good gods, I'm an idiot."

Arthur gave him a hard look. "What happened, Son? What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't." Charlie sighed again and blinked back tears. "I was completely pissed, Dad. I'd had a bottle of Ogden's... you know I never drink the stuff, but I just didn't know what else to do. I should have talked to her; I should have told her what I was feeling. But I didn't, and now I'm paying for it. She'll never forgive me."

~~~~~~~~

Rain started to fall. Pushing herself off the swing, she picked up her bag, swung it over her shoulder, and began walking. It was slow going, but she couldn't just live in the park. She had to find a place to stay. If she had been on her own, she might have been tempted to sleep on one of the hard metal benches, no matter how hard it was raining, but she had others to consider. She put a hand to her steadily growing stomach and whispered, "It'll be all right. We'll make it through this. I promise."

She had a hard time convincing even herself.

~~~~~~~~

A knock sounded on the front door of the house. Arthur frowned. "Who would be out at this time of night, and in this weather?" He stood and moved to open the door.

She was standing on the front step, looking like a drowned rat. "I'm sorry to come so late, Arthur," she said wearily, "but I didn't know where else to go."

Stunned at the sudden appearance of his very soggy and very pregnant daughter-in-law, Arthur moved back to let her in. "Come in, I'll find you a blanket and see if Molly has any dry clothes you can wear."

"Thank you," she sniffed, wrapping her arms around her shivering body. "I didn't know what to do, so I came here. We..." She stopped suddenly as she entered the kitchen, her eyes wide. "Charlie."

"Nymph," he whispered, moving towards her as if in a trance. "Nymph, please..."

"No," she interrupted, her voice catching on a sob. She stepped away from him, her entire body shaking. "Don't touch me, Charlie. Just don't..." her voice trailed off weakly, and before Charlie could react, she fainted.

"Dad!" Charlie shouted, holding his wife's limp form. She was as cold as ice and her skin was a sickly white. "Dad!"

Arthur came rushing down the stairs, two heavy blankets in his arms and Molly right on his heels. "What's happened?"

"She's fainted," Charlie replied, panic evident in his tone. "She was talking and then she just fainted!"

Molly pushed Arthur aside and began giving orders. "Carry her upstairs, Charlie, and put her in our bed. Arthur, bring me a hot water bottle and a towel. I'll find some dry clothes." She marched up the stairs, and Charlie followed, his heart racing. This certainly was the last thing he had expected.

~~~~~~~~

Someone was calling her name.

She struggled to pull herself out of the sleep that held her. Someone was calling to her, and she need to answer.

"Nymph, wake up. Please wake up."

She forced her eyes open. Only one person ever called her that... "Charlie."

His smile was one of relief. He squeezed her hand, and she thought she saw tears in his eyes. It was a brief moment before he spoke. "I thought I'd lost you."

Suddenly it all came crashing back to her - the memories, the pain - and she turned away from him. "You have lost me, Charlie. It's over."

"No," he breathed, his tone desperate, "please don't say that. I need you, Nymph."

"Well, I don't need you."

There was a moment of heavy silence before she heard him stand and leave the room, his footsteps slow and sad.

Never had one little lie hurt so very much.

~~~~~~~~

The words echoed in his mind, over and over until he wanted to scream. He hadn't thought it possible that four little words could cut him so deeply, but they had, and now he was bleeding. There was no bandage in the world big enough to fix his broken heart, or his broken marriage.

How on earth had it happened? No, scratch that. He knew exactly how it had happened, and now he only needed a chance to explain it to her. Just one chance, that's all. One chance to speak his mind, to say what was on his heart.

One chance to beg for her forgiveness.

~~~~~~~~

She rolled over and buried her face in the soft pillow, her tears flowing freely and abundantly. Molly had mercifully left her alone after setting a cup of tea on the bedside table, and now she was alone with her thoughts.

Torturous, agonizing thoughts.

Why had she said it? Why had she spoken aloud those four horrible words? She wished she could take them back, wished she could hold his hand and beg him to stay. But it was too late. He was gone, and she was the one who had sent him away.

She pulled the heavy blanket around her shaking body and wrapped her arms around her stomach. "I do need you, Charlie," she whispered brokenly into the silence. "I need you so much."

~~~~~~~~

"How is she?"

Charlie looked up and saw concern in his father's eyes. He shook his head. "Angry."

Arthur rested a hand upon his son's shoulder and sat beside him on the sofa. "How are you?"

"Not so good." Charlie closed his eyes and sighed. "She told me she didn't need me, Dad. She said I'd lost her."

Arthur nodded, and there was a moment of silence before he spoke. "Charlie, if I've learned anything about women in the years that I've been married to your mum, it's this - there's always more to what they say than what they actually say."

Charlie thought about that for a minute. "So, do you think...?"

"Go and talk to her, Charlie. Explain what happened. Then give her a chance to say what she really wants to say."

~~~~~~~~

"Nymph?"

She stiffened at the sound of his voice behind her, but she didn't turn to face him. Instead, she stared at the opposite wall and pretended she hadn't heard him.

"Nymph, I need to talk to you. Please."

His pleading tone pulled at her heart. Tears she thought she had spent now found their way down her cheeks once more. It shouldn't be this hard.

She felt the mattress sink as he sat down on the edge of it. "You don't have to say anything; you don't even have to listen," he said softly. "But I need to explain what happened. I need to tell you." He sighed, and his evident pain left her breathless. "I was so scared, Nymph, about us, about the future. I had been fighting it for months, and then when you told me..."

His voice trailed off, but she knew what he was talking about. This morning - had it really been such a short time ago? - the Healer had given her the news. Twins. She and Charlie would not be having one baby, but two, and she had been thrilled. Apparently he hadn't felt the same.

"I was terrified," he continued in a barely audible voice. "Having one baby would be responsibility enough, but twins? And what if something happened to you, or to them? I wouldn't be able to bear it if I lost you."

She heard him shift slightly; he was probably running a hand through his hair like he often did when he was nervous or upset. She pushed down the urge to fix his surely messy hair.

He was still talking, recalling the events of that evening. "I ran, Nymph, like a bloody coward. Went down to the pub and got completely pissed. I reckon I thought I could drink away my fear. Like maybe if I numbed myself enough, it would all go away and I would somehow be strong enough to face this."

Unable to contain herself any longer, she sat up and blurted out the first thing that came to mind, wincing at the bitterness that coated her words. "You said you wanted children, Charlie. You were excited when we found out I was pregnant. So when did you decide shove a knife in my heart and ruin everything we'd worked so hard for?" She could feel her anger rising but couldn't seem to stop herself. He had betrayed her. "Was it when that trollop threw herself at you? Made you an offer? Did you think she'd make a better mother to your children than I would?"

"Bloody hell, Nymph!" Charlie stood up suddenly, his anger startling her. "That's not true and you know it!"

"Oh, it's not, is it?" she spat. "Then why don't you tell me what happened, Charlie, since you're in such a storytelling mood!"

"Fine!" he retorted. "I'll tell you exactly what happened! I was down in that pub, crying into my whiskey and pouring my heart out to anyone who would listen. That woman just happened to be the only person within earshot who didn't think I was a complete lunatic. She told me that I should leave you and the babies before the responsibility pulled me under and drowned me. And do you know what I told her?" he demanded, his eyes angry. "I told her that I loved you more than life itself and that I would never leave you."

She matched his angry glare. "Oh, so you loved me so much that you felt the need to kiss someone else? How sweet. What was it, a celebration kiss? Hoorah, I love my wife, let's snog?"

"She kissed me, Nymph!" he snapped. "And I was so drunk out of my mind that I didn't have time to react! Then you walked in and didn't give me a chance to explain! It's not fair!"

She shook her head. "No, Charlie. What's not fair is that you chose a bottle of whiskey over me."

"Nymph, I..."

"Get out, Charlie."

~~~~~~~~

A month had passed since he'd last seen her. Every time he'd gone over to Mum and Dad's, Nymph had refused to even let him into her room. She had every right to be angry. No matter how much he tried to justify it, there was no excuse for what he'd done. He should have talked to her about his fears. She would have understood. She would have been there for him. They would have made it through together. Instead, he'd let his bloody pride stand in the way, and now he was alone.

He slid the key into the lock and turned the knob. He'd moved back into their house after Mum had decided that Nymph should stay at the Burrow. After all, a pregnant woman needed care, and Molly was more than happy to oblige. And, truth be told, Mum was more than a little angry with him. He didn't blame her; he was angry with himself.

Charlie sank onto the sofa and put his aching feet up on the coffee table. He reached over to turn on a lamp and something caught his eye.

Photo albums.

Standing up, he crossed the room and pulled down the heavy albums from the shelf. Then, settling back down again, he opened the one marked Hogwarts. A wave of memories came rushing back as he stared at the moving pictures. It had been ages since he'd taken the time to look through this. The album was mostly filled with pictures of Nymph during her days at school. He smiled as he turned the pages, watching her grow up all over again. There were a few pictures of him towards the middle of the book - they'd become friends during his sixth year, mostly because she hadn't let him decide otherwise. Nymph had been determined that they would be friends, and she wouldn't take no for an answer.

There was an entire album dedicated to her Auror training, and Charlie grinned with pride at the picture of her graduation - she'd been so excited. That was also the year he'd decided to go to Romania. Friendship was pushed to the back burner as their dreams took them in separate directions.

Then there was his favorite album. Labeled Charlie and Tonks, it was twice the size of the others and crammed full of pictures. After the war, Charlie had moved back to England and he and Nymph had renewed their friendship. It didn't take long for it to develop into something more, and that was where the album began. Their first real date - a picnic in the park and a complete disaster as far as dates go. As soon as they had pulled the food from the basket, the heavens had opened and poured out upon them. They had run for shelter, but by the time one was found, they were already soaked. They had laughed about it, saying it was surely a sign that their relationship would be unpredictable and exciting.

It was certainly that.

Charlie ran a finger over the picture and smiled to himself. Unpredictable and exciting were words that described Nymph as well. She was always surprising him; that's what he loved most about her. He loved not knowing what she would do next. He loved waiting for the next words to leave her lips, knowing that whatever she said, it would be fascinating. He loved the anticipation that being around her brought.

He didn't know how much longer he'd survive without her.

He closed the album with a sigh. Better to dwell on the good memories rather than the bad ones. He would cling to the thread of happiness as long as possible.

"Charlie! Are you there?"

Startled, Charlie jumped up and looked around. He saw his father's head in the fireplace and rushed over to him. "Yeah, Dad, I'm here. What's wrong?"

"She's in labor, Charlie! We're at St. Mungo's." Arthur looked worried. "Get here as fast as you can!" he added before disappearing again.

Charlie felt his heart clench. Nymph was only seven months along - surely it was too soon. Grabbing his cloak, Charlie Apparated to the hospital and rushed over to the reception desk. "My wife's in labor... Nymphadora Weasley," he said hurriedly. "Where is she?"

"Sixth floor, room twelve," the witch told him. "Go left down that corridor and take the stairs."

Charlie ran as fast as he could, completely out of breath by the time he reached the sixth floor. He saw his entire family in the waiting room and rushed over to them. "How is she? Is she all right?"

His mum nodded. "She'll be fine, Charlie. She's got the best Healers with her."

"Can I see her?" he asked. "I need to see her."

"No one's allowed in, Son," his father said gently. "We just have to wait."

Waiting turned out to be more difficult than he imagined. Minutes turned into hours and worries turned into fears. Just when he thought he couldn't take it a moment longer, the Healer appeared at the door. "Mr. Weasley?"

Charlie stood, his legs shaking. "Yes?"

The witch smiled. "Congratulations. You have twin sons."

Charlie barely registered the racket that his cheering family was making; all he could think of was his wife. "And Nymph? How is she?"

"She's fine, Mr. Weasley. Exhausted, but fine. She's asking for you."

She was asking for him? She was asking for him! Charlie felt his heart leap. Maybe there was hope after all.

He followed the Healer down the corridor, literally shaking with anticipation. She led him to the door of room twelve and motioned for him to go in. Thanking her quietly, Charlie entered the room and saw his wife, her eyes closed in exhaustion and looking more beautiful than he'd ever seen her.

"Nymph?" he whispered, approaching the bed. "It's me."

Her eyelids fluttered open. "Charlie. You came."

He sat down on the edge of the hospital bed and frowned. "Of course I came. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I told you to get out," she said, drawing in a ragged breath. "Because I told you I didn't need you."

"Nymph, I..."

"I lied, Charlie," she whispered. "I lied to you. I told you I didn't need you but it's not true." Tears made tracks down her cheeks and she reached up to wipe them away. "I need you so much."

He took her hand and rubbed his thumb across her wrist. "I need you too. More than I ever thought possible. I'm so sorry I was a jerk. Forgive me?"

She smiled through her tears, effectively stealing his breath away. "Yes. I'm sorry I stayed away so long. Forgive me?"

"Always." He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers. "I love you, Nymph."

"I love you too, Charlie."

"Mr. and Mrs. Weasley?" The Healer had entered the room with two small bundles in her arms. "Would you like to see your sons?" She crossed the room and placed a baby into each of their arms. "Two healthy little boys. You're very lucky."

Charlie looked down at the child in his arms and then over at his wife. It didn't get much better than this. "Yeah, luckiest people in the world, I reckon."

Nymph smiled, joy evident on her face. "And don't you forget it."

FIN


Author notes: I know that St. Mungo's only has five floors according to the books, but there were no maternity wards mentioned, so I made one up. Yay for artistic license! ;) Also, I decided to have Charlie call her Nymph just because I think it sounds much better than Dora (reminds me of Dora the Explorer... gah), and because I thought it would be weird for him to still call her Tonks after they got married. And because I felt like it. So there. ;) Anyhoo, go review and make my day! I'll share my coveted bottle of Robitussin with you if you want some.