Love In The Ruins

Love In The Ruins

Remus' eyes popped open.

For a moment, his mind was blank. He was vaguely aware that he was in danger, and also that something quite wonderful had just happened, but beyond that all was fog and confusion.

Looking around warily, he saw the barn; and he remembered Malfoy's plan. The morning air, cold against his skin, reminded him that he was naked; and he remembered the full moon. At the same time, the warmth of Sirius' body, driving away some of the morning chill, reminded him of the kiss; and he remembered much, from the night that had just passed to all those nights (and days) years ago. And, as he remembered, his understanding of the current situation grew - and so did his emotional confusion.

Remus looked up at Sirius.

Sirius was staring back at him, with concern and curiosity. Was he perhaps worried that he might get slapped for his efforts? In his half-awake daze, Remus imagined reaching up towards Sirius' face. Not to slap it - to caress it. A desire to return that kiss flashed across his mind and swept through his body, suddenly reminding him of just how completely and revealingly naked he was.

Gathering his strength, Remus moved his weight onto his own hands and shifted away from Sirius. He glanced around, looking for his clothes.

His friend seemed to understand. He was up in no time, striding across the room purposefully to reach the discarded robe. He returned, and offered it to Remus almost shyly.

"Thanks," Remus said, happy to find his voice steady. He threw the robe over his head, discovering to his satisfaction that it hadn't been chewed up too badly. "Now," he continued, all businesslike. "you're probably wondering why we're here. It's Malfoy's doing; He knows of your plan to visit Harry, and plans to impersonate you using Polyjuice Potion. He expects me to have killed you by now, and his goons will be arriving here soon to finish me off. Ambushing them could be our best chance to escape."

Sirius listened to all this carefully, drawing his breath in at the mention of Harry's name. "Bastards," he barked out at last, keeping the insult uncharacteristically short and uncomplicated. "I can't wait to get my hands on them. They'll regret scheming against Harry, just as they will regret mistreating you in this way." He growled and turned towards Remus, his snarl turning into a sidelong grin. "Still, isn't it fortunate," he continued, "that I haven't lost my touch, and was still able to wake you."

Remus couldn't think of a good reply to that. "You get an A for creativity, Sirius, but get your mind out of the gutter and think of Harry!" didn't seem right, somehow. He was just about to frown disapprovingly when his ears picked up the sound of approaching footsteps and then rattling of the heavy metal bar outside. He turned to face the door, tensing.

Sirius interpreted his motion correctly. The enemy was approaching! The two friends' eyes met as both thought out a possible plan of action.

"I'll hide," Sirius mouthed, pointing up at the rafters.

"I'll stay," Remus replied, slumping down onto the floor.

With a final exchange of nods, they put this vague plan into practice; and no sooner had Sirius disappeared up among the rafters than the door rattled and opened. The two tall Death Eaters walked in: Crabbe and Goyle, Malfoy's helpers. Remus, his eyes shut, identified them by smell, and even Sirius, who hadn't seen them for years, had no trouble recognizing them from their conversation.

"There's only one of them!" he heard Crabbe-or-Goyle exclaim.

Goyle-or-Crabbe remained silent, thinking. Remus could clearly smell his sweat, forced out by the effort this unusual activity required.

"There used to be two," Crabbe-or-Goyle, meanwhile, obviously preferred thinking aloud. "Meaning, one is missing."

"Yes," the philosophical Goyle-Or-Crabbe replied in superior tones. "But that one there's the wolf, see? He must have gobbled the other one right up."

This undeniably made a lot of sense: all that silent contemplation had not been in vain. The two beefy men glanced at Remus warily, unwilling to approach such a formidable creature.

The formidable creature, stretched out on the floor, started to feel almost sorry for them. Remus' teacher instincts kicked in, and he found himself wishing that he could put the two of them in some sort of remedial class for evil minions.

"We have to kill him," Crabbe-or-Goyle said at last, uncertainly, "Else Mr. Malfoy will be unhappy."

Neither of them moved as they silently weight their options: werewolf vs. Lucius.

"We have to," Crabbe-or-Goyle continued, pleadingly. "Mr Malfoy might even get sarcastic."

"I know that," Goyle-Or-Crabbe replied shortly. "I'm just thinking, and I figure one of us should go on with the dagger, and I should just stand here and guard the door."

"So who kills him with the dagger?" Crabbe-or-Goyle asked in confusion. "Me!" he realized after a while. "Oh, no!"

"Come on, you've got the easy part," Goyle-Or-Crabbe cajoled. "I figure this here werewolf will make straight for the door when he wakes. He ate last night, see?" he finished meaningfully.

Crabbe-or-Goyle saw, and nodded wisely. "Yeah, you're right. He'll probably run straight for the privy, after eating that guy Black, clothes and all."

Up in the rafters, Sirius felt indignant at the idea that eating him would have given anyone indigestion. Remus, down below, felt a pang of hunger; he hadn't eaten a thing since last night's insubstantial biscuit. The Death Eaters, meanwhile, were both now equally satisfied that they were getting the better deal. So, they separated as planned. One moved towards Remus saying "Shh, nice werewolf, sleep," while the other stood guard at the door, holding his wand at the ready.

Sirius paused for a moment to admire the enormous shiny wand before dropping silently onto the guard's back.

The guard was immensely confused. He'd just been about to suggest singing the wolf a lullaby, and now suddenly a new and separate threat had appeared from nowhere, riding his shoulders, grabbing at his wand, and pulling his fancy hat over his eyes. He roared with fear.

His partner turned at that, and saw an odd human pyramid staggering about near the wide-open door. What werewolf trick was this? His jaw dropped.

Remus, meanwhile, took the sound as a cue to attack. He sat up and snarled at his approaching opponent, preparing to jump. The silver dagger, however, made him sit back on his haunches, hair standing on end in indescribable disgust. He'd sooner scratch out his eyes than jump at that.

Sirius, still engaged in Death Eater rodeo, seemed to sense his friend's predicament. Waving his newly captive wand, he shouted out "Accio Dagger!" This had the desired effect. The dagger flew out into Sirius' outstretched hand... well, not quite. It seemed to accelerate and swerve just before reaching him, hitting his mount on the forehead with great force. Sirius jumped off gracefully just seconds before the Death Eater toppled to the ground, knocked out cold.

At the same moment, Remus finally leapt forward, knocking his would-be killer over. A floor-level scuffle ensued, with Remus' wrestling prowess matched against his opponent's bulk, and dust rose off the dirt floor.

Sirius approached the dust cloud slowly, holding out his wand. He briefly considered cursing the remaining Death Eater, but decided that it was just too hard to curse people when they are grappling in close quarters with your close friend... Mmmm... For a moment there, Sirius wished himself in the enemy's place, remembering a certain camping adventure.

He shook these unproductive thoughts off, quickly. Reminding himself that Remus could not be in the best of shape at that moment, he pocketed the huge wand and jumped into the fray, shoving his friend aside.

Remus rolled away a little and sprang to his feet, brandishing an equally impressive wand. "Surrender!" he shouted. "Surrender, or I'll curse you!"

"I do surrender!" the Death Eater shouted. He'd noticed his partner's prone form, and was really quite certain that Things Were Going Badly. "I surrender! Stop it, stop it!"

The last was directed at Sirius, who was currently attempting to bite off his large, hairy ear.

"He surrenders, Sirius," Remus said calmly. "Leave him alone."

"But they were going to kill you, Moony!" Sirius countered. Except that it sounded more like "Mut ey were oin' oo killoo, Moony!", his mouth being full of ear. Gagging slightly, he released it. "Oh, all right," he said, and stood up.

Remus shook out his new wand and cast a tying-up spell on their fallen foes. He had not fully realized just how tired he was; his first attempt merely tied their untidy shoelaces ("Gee, thanks," the conscious goon commented gratefully.) On his second and third tries, however, he finally managed to produce a satisfying quantity of thin cords. After checking to see that they did not cut off anyone's circulation, he stepped back to admire his handiwork.

"Very nice," Sirius nodded warmly. "Hey, that was fun, wasn't it? The boys of Gryffindor fight as well as ever."

Remus smiled back. It had been rather exhilarating. He stood back to survey the scene.

The two Death Eaters struggled on the floor of the barn, trussed at the wrists and ankles in the same way he and Sirius had been less than twelve hours before. Sirius, of course, stood over them, gloating with that grin frequently seen in the aftermath of duels or...

Remus coughed and said, "Let's leave them here for now. We can send someone along to get them later. I'm more worried about Malfoy finishing the potion."

"Ah, yes," Sirius said, addressing the two prisoners, "where is your boss, mmmm?"

When the question was met with stony silence, Sirius rolled up his sleeves and raised the borrowed wand significantly. Remus laid a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Come on, Moony," he grumbled, "just a little spot of torture? Er, how about this?"

Before Remus could stop him, Sirius cried "Rictusempra!" and the feet of the two men on the floor began to twitch. The Death Eaters both sniggered, then giggled, then laughed hysterically until tears were leaking from their eyes.

"A Tickling Charm, that's all," shrugged Sirius. Turning his attention to the shrieking Death Eaters, he said, "Where's Malfoy?"

"F-f-finishing potion," stammered one of them through a fit of giggling, "g-g-going to take the motorbike..."

With a loud snort and a wave of the wand, Sirius ended the charm. "I'd like to see Malfoy try! We just have to wait for the Shadow to kill him, then."

Remus couldn't help but feel that this was not much of a PLAN, and he said so. "We need to have a bit more on the ball than that to catch Malfoy before he impersonates you."

Sirius scowled at him in mock disgust. Remus felt slightly irritated in return. They weren't eighteen year-olds playing at dueling, after all, but thirty-somethings who had just endured a long, rough night. Perhaps Sirius could bounce back from his injuries at Malfoy's hands and from a night spent barking at him, but Remus was exhausted as always after the Change.

"OK. A plan. Right." Sirius grinned, undaunted. "We'll become Death Eaters ourselves, then, shall we?"

With a wave of his wand, Sirius made the black robes and masks of the Death Eaters vanish, leaving the two large beefy men shivering in their underwear on the floor. The boxers with pink kittens were amusing, but the tiger-striped thong... Sirius had seen better and was quite vocal about expressing it.

Then there was the matter of the robes which weren't supposed to vanish entirely.

"They should be around here somewhere," grumbled Sirius. "The clothes are supposed to reappear close by. Remember the time I worked this charm on Snape at the Hallowe'en Feast?"

Remus did remember. He could also recall Sirius using that spell on other occasions, usually in more private settings. Although their had been that time in that cul-de-sac off Diagon Alley...

He shrugged his shoulders, and led the way out of the barn.

Sirius was still going on about the condition of Snape's Halloween drawers as they emerged into the morning sunlight. Evidence of the robes did turn up, quite quickly: one was draped over a bush just outside and the other had been transformed into a large pile of (black) daisies.

"Wonder what's wrong with this wand," mused Sirius as he surveyed the pile of flowers. "They say that the wand matches the owner, so do you suppose that the wand of a stupid git like that...?" Still pondering, he tried flexing the wand, sending a spray of sparks out of the end. "Hmmm. Seventeen inches, ebony... wonder what it's got inside? A bit stiffer than I'm used to, but I always could do good work with a stiff wand, don't you think?"

"Sirius!" Remus said sharply. "Let's forget the wand jokes, shall we?"

"Aw, Moony. You're just sore because you got the sixteen-inch wand."

Remus thought this was a hopeless battle, so, instead of replying, he picked up the robe and tossed it to Sirius. It was probably just as well that the other robe hadn't survived the charm gone awry. Both of their captives looked quite tall. Sirius' six foot one inch frame would seem plausible draped in the black Death Eater's robe, but Remus would look suspicious.

"Aha," cried Sirius after he had put on the black robe and mask, "now you are my prisoner! I've always wanted to tie you up, Moony. You might like it, you know."

Ignoring that, too, Remus squinted into the sun, now rising above the trees. They were not far from his cottage. He had never given the old barn, their prison for the night, a second thought during the times he'd passed it by. But Malfoy had been planning for some time to trap him, that much seemed obvious.

He marveled again that someone was willing to go to that much trouble to eliminate him. In the old days, Sirius and James had been the main targets of Voldemort's fury. Well, things changed.

"We're not far," Remus said crisply and led off through the hay field next to the barn. This route would take them through the old orchard the lay behind his cottage, perhaps even provide a bit of cover.

As they walked along, Sirius' mind turned, once again, to more important things.

"Why do you suppose the two Idiot Twins need such impressive wands, anyway? Do you think they're trying to, um, compensate for something?" he asked Remus conversationally. "They should be - that thong might have left little to the imagination, but it also seemed to conceal very little, if you know what I mean."

"I didn't look," Remus sighed resignedly. "But why not give them the benefit of the doubt? It was pretty cold in there, wasn't it?"

"Didn't seem to affect you, though." Sirius muttered.

"Oh, do drop it, Padfoot," Remus replied, poker-faced. "You should know by now that size isn't everything... And that sometimes a wand is just a wand."

At this point, Sirius decided that he'd just about run out of wand cliches, so he moved onto the topic of What I Will Do To Malfoy, in which wands played only a small (but crucial) part.

Listening to his friend's excited chatter, punctuated with the occasional illustrating hand gesture, Remus thought that it might almost have been an adventure from the old days. At Hogwarts their adventures had been mere pranks (some of them quite involved), but after school the missions had turned more deadly. Still, Sirius never failed to find the humour in any situation, no matter if they were hurtling curses at Death Eaters or subduing dragons.

At the margin of the orchard, Remus motioned for Sirius to halt. Through the trees he could see the kitchen of his cottage; movement in the windows told him that there was someone inside. Good. They were not too late.

"I'll be your prisoner until we get inside, right? I'll hide my wand until then." Remus said distractedly, peering through the branches.

"Pity I shan't hide mine," replied Sirius coming up behind him and poking him in the back playfully with his own wand. "You were always quite good at playing Find the Wand."

Just like old times, Remus mused and this time he laughed. There was definitely something to be said for keeping your sense of humour in the face of danger.

"What is it? Why are you bringing that...thing in here?" hissed Lucius Malfoy angrily. He looked up from the large book he'd been reading as they entered the kitchen, his wand poised dangerously. The kitchen was not large. Malfoy stood at one end, a cauldron full of thick, bubbling liquid next to him. Remus and Sirius stood at the other end, just inside the door and not more than ten feet away.

"I have something to say to you, Malfoy," Remus announced coldly.

"Come to beg for your life, werewolf?" sneered Malfoy, with a tone which said that he would enjoy the begging very much.

"Not at all," replied Remus. He gave a small nod and Sirius moved away from him slightly.

"Expelliarmus!"

At once Malfoy's wand shot straight up into the air and pinged loudly on a pot hanging on a rack suspended from the ceiling. The wand was supposed to fly into the hand of the wizard casting the spell, but instead it took a more lazy arc downward. Malfoy snatched at it and caught it on the second try.

As Sirius pulled off his mask, he wondered again about these borrowed wands. Did stupid people just have stupid wands or was there some sort of devious Security Spell at work? He didn't have time for further reflection, as Malfoy began throwing curses at them.

Defending against Malfoy's spells whilst trying to make their wands work properly was difficult enough without the added problem of lack of sleep (and the whole Werewolf Thing in Remus' case). Thus, the magical duel proved much more difficult than in the old days.

The Petrificus spell which Remus hurled at Malfoy merely gave him a leg cramp. Sirius' attempt to hurl a fireball (usually one of his better creations), resulted in Malfoy being covered in green slime. The slime was amusing, but it didn't slow the Death Eater down overmuch.

And their opponent had gotten some rest during the night. That was clear from the ferocious strength of his spells.

"Blast these wands," panted Sirius as they dodged yet another curse from Malfoy. He managed to subdue the firebreathing lizard which Malfoy had sent at him by turning it into a toothless crocodile. Not his best work, certainly.

"Sirius," Remus murmured, getting as close as he could while avoiding the jet of blue flame shooting across the kitchen, "I think I see our wands under his Potion book. Can you distract him? I'll try to grab them."

Sirius nodded even as Remus was forced to jump away, crumpling on the floor. Was Remus really injured or was this part of his plan? Sirius didn't have time to work that out.

"And how is Narcissa?" he called out, stepping away from Remus as much as he could in the tiny kitchen. "I haven't seen her much since school, but she was quite fetching then."

That got Malfoy's attention. The Death Eater didn't speak, so Sirius thought he'd just carry on, even as a he saw movement from Remus out of the corner of his eye.

"Of course, they talk about her in Azkaban. Oh, they have loads to say. Some of the things I've heard..."

"You will keep your mouth shut regarding my wife," Malfoy replied coolly, and shot bolts of green lightning at Sirius who managed to deflect them by conjuring an immense marshmallow which turned out nicely brown on the outside.

"They say she's really good with a cat o'nine tails," Sirius jeered. "Do you find that's true?"

Sirius could tell that his opponent was not pleased. Malfoy pointed his wand at the large rack of pots suspended from the ceiling; one by one, the pots came hurtling down at Sirius' head. Remus was creeping along one wall of the kitchen, so this was no time to let up.

"And one more thing," called Sirius as he ducked a saucepan. "Does she really have a birthmark on her left b--"

Malfoy cried out, enraged. Remus reached Malfoy's side just about then and dived for the wands. At the same time, Malfoy cursed a cast iron skillet, causing it to sprout iron fangs and claws as it flew towards Sirius.

Sirius, dividing his attention amongst Malfoy, Remus, and the skillet monster, found it hard to defend himself. The iron beast caught him across the shoulder, ripping its way down his back, tearing through his robes and into flesh. He staggered under the weight and the excruciating pain, hoping that Remus had been successful as he tried to shake off the attacking monster.

Remus, meanwhile retrieved the wands peeking out from underneath the book Malfoy had been using for reference on the Polyjuice Potion. Malfoy was busy with transfiguring a pan. Remus tossed away the big and not very effective borrowed wand (sixteen inches, black walnut, rather rigid) and was comforted by the feel of his own wand (ten inches, oak, dragon heartstring, nice and supple). Size wasn't everything, after all.

Sirius cried out in pain, struggling with a black beast clawing his back. Malfoy turned to face Remus, the bubbling cauldron between them.

"They say it's hard to kill a werewolf," Malfoy leered at him, "But Avada Kedavra should work on your kind."

Perhaps Malfoy was bluffing. Remus never knew. He did know, however, that he was exhausted and did not have much energy left for dueling. If Malfoy managed to stun him (or do worse, since Avada Kedavra did indeed work on werewolves) and hurt Sirius further, he might be able to carry out his plan to kidnap Harry. This must not happen. The thought of it coming to pass gave Remus new strength from somewhere deep inside.

As Malfoy raised his arms to start what looked to be a very nasty curse, Remus blasted the cauldron, sending the potion up into the air as a cloud of roiling, brown smoke. He choked on the magical fog, staggering backwards and hitting the wall unpleasantly hard. A bolt of magical energy came through the haze, showing that Malfoy had not been slowed down.

Remus felt a sharp pain in his shoulder and part of the bolt hit him. He fell to the floor, as the smoke cleared and Malfoy stepped nimbly around the cauldron. Sirius screamed in pain, the small but vicious beast which Malfoy had conjured clung to him, forcing him down on the ground. Forgetting Malfoy for the moment (which may not have been a wise thing to do), Remus threw a spell toward Sirius' attacker, a simple Profundus Charm which should force the beast back into its pre-transfigured state.

"Don't bother to get up, werewolf," said Malfoy hoarsely, raising his wand swiftly to begin a curse.

Any words which Malfoy attempted after that were drowned out by a ferocious growl. A bear-sized black dog crouched at the other end of the small kitchen, poised to leap. Remus took advantage of Malfoy's stunned surprise to scramble to his feet.

"That's enough from you, Malfoy," Remus said with a calmness which he did not entirely feel. He pointed his wand at the shocked Death Eater, wondering if he had the energy to call Malfoy's bluff. He was lucky that he never got the chance to find out.

Malfoy darted his eyes from attacking dog to attacking wizard and seemed to make up his mind. With a final swish of his wand, he Disapparated.

Remus barely registered the departure as he ran to Sirius who had transformed back and lay panting on the floor in a bloody heap. He knelt beside his friend and was rewarded with a grin when Sirius raised his head. Although there was pain in those eyes, they hadn't lost their humour.

"Defeated by a skillet," Sirius cried in mock disgust, "If only I'd had my own wand. Perhaps size isn't everything, Moony."