Innocent Illusions

Innocent Illusions

It starts off as an idea sprung from your complex and developing mind. This idea sprung from its deviousness. An idea born that you feel the need to let grow and mold right along the way. But you feel this idea to be menacing and so you push it as far away from you as possible. However, this feeling creates such a sweet sensation that you can't help but smile inwardly with malice.

If only this were possible, you wonder.

Or is it?

You are surprised at how this simple idea born from your conventional mind has turned into something so dark and sinister. You no longer push away this feeling but carry it around with you constantly. You are cut off from your daily life as you begin to mold this idea the way you believe it to be in its most beautiful and perfect form.

As the minutes, hours and days pass, the idea no longer seems so far-fetched and impossible. It now comes to view itself as attractive and desirable that makes it way too hard to let go at this point.

But how would you do it?

Nonetheless, even as you stand there thinking about what you are capable of doing you begin to wonder. You wonder how you've gone through this transformation. You are no longer little, innocent Ginny Weasley. You are now a Ginny Weasley no one would ever imagine you to be. A Ginny Weasley full of hatred, evil and malice. But how did this ever become to be part of you?

Simple.

Harry Potter did this to you.

All those years you waited for him to slightly notice you. Patiently waiting for that moment in your life when you would get what you had always wanted since you were eleven. But that day never came. You held hope and you waited... and waited.

Seven years.

You waited seven years and you realized that "The Boy Who Lived" held no attraction towards you. All those other girls in his life were always around and so there was never any chance of you ever being considered. One day he would be with one girl and the next, another. Hell, even Hermione Granger had managed to be added up to his "list". A flavor of the week she had been. And for those few days you had loathed her. Loathed her uncontrollably. Hermione had gotten what you ached for and yearned for years.

But you didn't want to be just another one of his "girls". You wanted him to love you the way you had loved him. Every woman wishes to be desired and to feel beautiful. And so it was then that you realized that if you couldn't have him, you would make him suffer instead. Thereby creating this feeling that has now taken over your life.

You are ready to begin.

You now look for the one person that will match up to the hate you now carry for this boy. You go on looking for days wondering and thinking about a possible person that will accompany you into this journey for vengeance. You easily remind yourself that hurting Harry Potter is no surprise in the wizarding world. Finding the right people to count on is the only struggle you seem to have.

Then one day, you're walking down the streets of Diagon Alley when you suddenly find yourself face to face with the one person you realize will fit perfect to this plan of yours.

You strike up the courage to approach him without regret. Schoolgirl grudges are way unimportant at this point in your life.

You tell the slick haired, silver-eyed man of your plan. At first, he looks at you with disbelief but quickly replaces it with a smile of devious satisfaction. He chuckles with no remorse and looks at you straight in the eye. You realize then that it will take you six words to completely convince him of your "true" intentions. You stare right back and say, "I want to destroy Harry Potter."

The long awaited plan fully ignites.

~~

You are amazed at what you and the slick-haired, silver-eyed man are able to plan for this boy. Both of you now live off with one single goal from then on: To bring down the Boy Who Lived. Your conscience has now blackened and transformed itself into something so ugly and so repulsive that you now laugh in utter excitement.

Your partner and you begin to plan out ways in which you must capture your prey. You learn to wear provocative clothing. You learn the ways a scarlet woman would feel and act. You learn how to seduce men with just a look or a stare. You work up to every satisfaction a man gets from every woman. You want to make him beg and grovel unto you. You set out to have him in the palm of your hand where he will not be able to breathe, think, or act without you.

You are now ready to set out to capture your prey.

And slowly, you do. The boy begins to notice this change in you. Coincidentally, he is now everywhere you seem to be. You are not surprised by the boy's peculiar actions. Raging hormones are what drive him to you and so you loathe him for it. What you had wished for years before was for the boy to love you the way your unrequited love had been long ago. But you realize that this attraction is nothing more than lust.

And that strives you to continue this horrendous plan.

As time passes, you begin to court the boy and force yourself into pretending that you care him. Whenever he touches you, you feel disgusted and dirty. But you make him please you in any way you ask, forcing him to ignore his friends and routine of life. You want him to be in your complete control and you will clearly stop at nothing to achieve this.

Whenever you are with him, you restlessly hope for the day to finally take its toll. You feel repulsed and filthy whenever he yearns for you and you hold that disgust. You find a way to cleanse yourself.

That is when you decide to take your partner as your lover. You both realize that this hate you carry for this boy brings you together in a way that no one would understand. You feel secure and safe in the arms of your partner. You realize then the way your life has come to be at this point. You have now become Draco Malfoy's lover.

Who would have thought it would come to this?

Just as your relationship with the silver-eyed man deepened so has the relationship with the boy to your advantage. He has now grown an obsession towards you; he no longer lives without you. You have him right where you want him to be. He has completely fallen for you...

Hard.

~~

The war between good and evil has now begun. Wizards abroad are fighting and risking their lives to ensure their safety and victory to the wizarding world. The world waits now for their hero to fight along with them.

But you refuse to let the boy go off to war. You argue and nag and even cry whenever he seems convinced that he must fight. He promises to return and marry you. But you are purposely stubborn and give him an ultimatum: either he leaves against your wishes, ending the relationship or he stays and continues to be with you.

You secretly crack a grin when he embraces you and promises that he will never leave you.

Silly boy.

That is where those around him begin to warn him of you. Those around tell him of your sightings with your partner-turned lover. The boy comes up to you and confronts you with what he has heard. You pretend to cry hysterically and you lash back by telling him that all those people are out to destroy him. You make him feel miserable and make him forget that he ever doubted you.

Having control feels so good.

One day, the boy's "sidekicks" approach you. They confront you and say that they have discovered your plan. They demand for an explanation for your act. They threaten to expose your intentions to the boy and to the rest of the world. Upon hearing their demands, you laugh so maliciously that both are taken aback. Their eyes no longer see you as innocent Ginny Weasley but see the monster sprung from the Ginny you once were. You respond by saying they know nothing and are completely foolish. The boy will never believe them, you taunt. You carry such an evil aura now that all the time you stand there you carry no regret, no remorse, no pang, or sorrow. You are way past that now.

Later on the boy returns to you and tells you that he has had an argument with his "sidekicks". He says that he has broken off his relationship with them. You pretend to be sorry and you comfort him all the while wanting to laugh and kick him for being so stupid. You have now accomplished in ridding yourself with all those that loved or once cared for him. The wizarding world would have to learn to live without their "hero".

You realize that your plan is finally coming to its end.

The war has caused a downfall towards the wizarding world. Many lives were taken and many left abandoned to recover from this horrible time. Although good ruled over evil in the end, the world was left in shambles. The boy's only known family and friends have now gone along with those others that have died; Including your family. You are fully aware that the family you once considered as your world has also been taken by the war. Few of your family members are left, but you carry no twinge of pain or sorrow. You have no feelings whatsoever for them. You are cold, heartless and you enjoy it.

Time is up.

~~~

One day you decide that today is the day you will complete this plan you have so patiently worked on for so long. One morning you grab you belongings from your flat and you get ready to face the boy when he returns from his daily jog. Your partner arrives to witness you triumph.

He arrives, surprised that your partner is standing next to you grabbing your waist. He looks down at the belongings and questioningly asks what is going on.

You smile and tell him everything.

You start from the beginning. You explain to him that all this time has all been a cruel game. That this had been a vengeful act that was directed to him since day one. You even explain to him how your plan had come to be and how you were able to accomplish it. You tell him that you loathe him and how you felt disgusted whenever you were with him. You even mention that when you felt disgusted with him, you sought refuge in the arms of his enemy. You see the boy flinch and cringe whenever you open your mouth to speak. He looks at you and asks why had you done this to him; how he had deserved this. He then realizes that all those times when all those who had warned him of you had in fact been true. You laugh and nod viciously. You grab the engagement ring he had given you days before and throw it at him. He catches it and looks straight down studying the object that lay in his palm.

It is then that you come to the point where you and your partner have been waiting for since you first started this journey for vengeance. You have now arrived to the point where you are witnessing Harry Potter's demise.

You nudge your partner to walk to the door. You look away at the boy and grab your things. You look back at the torn boy once more. And just when you think you can cause no greater a pain than what he is feeling at that moment, you stop to look at the boy once more. You utter to him no longer with spite but a feeling that is indescribable to you.

"Stupid, worthless boy. You never meant anything to me. Nothing."

You walk out the door and out of the boy's life.

~~~~~

Days later, you hear in the news about a certain boy who has committed suicide. You suddenly feel a rush of mixed emotions upon hearing about it. You feel the closure of your once unexplainable plan and take a look at the picture they have taken of the Boy Who Lived. The Daily Prophet explain the boy's death as a truly "sad and horrible time for the wizarding world." They mention how the boy had been torn by the many deaths and loss of his only known family. They come to the notion that boy had just not been able to take these losses. But you know the real reason.

The boy had not been able to take this humiliation and embarrassment you placed upon him. This cruelty that was given to him had been from the one person he thought he loved. And so because of this, he decided to end this misery by hanging himself. You quickly discard the paper and try to find your real reason that which you had really begun this evil plan.

It's funny how you look back at your past and get an understanding about the kind of person you have come to be. This plan, this tiny little plan that started out as a foolish idea has ended up destroying the person you were. You come to think that you have accomplished something so horrendous and morbid, not even Voldemort himself had accomplished.

You destroyed Harry Potter inside and out.

But although you have ruined and taken away his life, the boy has taken your soul.

So who really is triumphant here?

You look at your life and what it has come down to. Your partner is already naming potential victims for your next plan. That is when you realize that you have now chosen to become part of this life full of lies, hatred, and pure agony.

You want to go back.

You wish to be the Ginny Weasley you once were: Innocent, loved and pure.

You want to go back.

But you can't.

You can't go back. What's done is done, and there is no way back. You burned all those bridges a long time ago, honey.

So what can you do? You can try to make things right.

Should you seek refuge? Run away? Continue life pretending as if nothing happened?

But all those would just lead up to more pain sooner or later. And you cannot bear pain any longer. But who knows? He might forgive you. Angels are supposed to be forgiving. Aren't they?

But there would be one way to prevent any of this from happening...

You set out to join the other half of your soul, the one you tortured for years and years on end. You finalize your will, making sure to leave nothing to Draco Malfoy. You write a long letter to Hermione and Ron, explaining everything. Why you did it. Why you are so sorry and if, given a second chance, you would never have done it.

And you think as you look over the rails of the bridge: What have I done?

Your last thought hit the icy water below- Harry, wherever you are, I come to you...

Years later, after the funeral, someone found your diary. The one you kept in your little room, under your mattress. The last entry, dated the day Harry Potter was found dead:

What kind of a monster have I become?

End...