Hermione's Lament

Why would a fellow want a girl like her,

A frail and fluffy beauty?

Why can't a fellow ever once prefer,

A solid girl like me?

Retreating from the shadow of the fern, she stood beside the stream of chattering students which was flowing by happily and uninterrupted. Her eyes were stuck on the sight of Harry and Ginny, hamming it up, having a ball. It seemed so unreal and unfair that she, Hermione, would spend hours just lusting after Harry, and Ginny was the one to get him.

Sure, Ginny might be prettier and maybe more accommodating, sweeter, more graceful. But Hermione was way smarter! Ginny spent endless hours making herself more beautiful and presentable. But...STILL!

She's a frothy little bubble,

With a flimsy kind of charm

And with very little trouble

I could break her little arm!

"OH!" shrieked a girl in passing, looking down at the arm Hermione had subconsciously snatched and tried to twist into a rather uncomfortable position.

"Oh!" surprised at the scream, Hermione jumped, thoroughly shaken.

Looking first at the girl's face which was screwed up in pain and then down to her arm that Hermione still clutched angrily, the girl's arm turning red. Hermione looked dazed and then she released the arm dazedly and the owner scuttled away fearfully.

But, not about to give up upon her prey, Hermione stalked on, still a little shocked and weary.

Why would a fellow want a girl like her,

So obviously unusual?

Why can't a fellow ever once prefer,

A usual girl like me?

Her cheeks are a pretty shade of pink...

Hermione'd have to admit that Ginny had a healthy flush to her cheeks, makeup for sure, but it was so perfectly done that it looked completely natural. Like she'd just come in from a short refreshing jog.

But not any pinker than a rose is!

Her skin my be delicate and soft...

Her owl-like eyes zoomed in on Harry setting his hand upon Ginny's. Knowing full well that no feelings were really justified, betrayal seeped into her system, invading her mind and soaking into her heart.

Snorting angrily, Hermione began to advance on the couple sitting quietly together, laughing at the moment. But, sudden and unexpected sanity decided to flash across her brain, preventing her from saying anything to the two. Thinking quickly, she veered herself to the end of the Gryffindor table and plopped down next to Dean and Seamus talking animatedly.

But not any softer than a doe's is.

Her neck is no whiter than a swans,

Every few seconds, Hermione could feel herself glance out of the corner of her eye at the two, and no matter how she tried to control it, she just couldn't. Dean looked at her quizzically a couple of times, noticing how her head kept slightly nodding towards the end of the table, but he refrained from mentioning it to her.

She's only as dainty as a daisy,

Suddenly, she saw Harry pull something out from behind his back and hold it out to Ginny. She moved around to try and see what ever it was, not worrying about being incognito, just truly curious (or jealous, more likely).

At one angle, she saw white petals clutched gingerly in Ginny's palm. A flower. At breakfast. In the middle of the Great Hall. What kind of crap was that? Hermione had never gotten a flower from Harry (or anyone, for that matter) before, and it set Hermione's already burning "angry" fire into a towering flame.

She's only as graceful as a bird,

As was usual at the morning breakfast, the owls swooped in to deliver the morning's mail and fluttered around, searching for their owner. Hedwig landed in front of Harry and Ginny, dropping a letter in front of them, and lifted away gracefully.

While Hermione watched, she saw Ginny watch Hedwig fly away, and then, turning back to Harry, she flipped her long red hair behind her shoulder, picturesque. Hermione clutched her fingers into a fist, enraged at the shameless flirting.

So why is the fellow going crazy?

She's just like all the other girls, Harry. She's no different then those shameless girls who sometimes throw themselves at you and your celebrity status. Can't you see that?!

Seamus coughed, and looked at Hermione pointedly, who was staring at Harry and Ginny sitting together with burning eyes. Jerking her head at the surprising sound, Hermione sent an equally strong gaze towards Seamus. He boldly stared for a moment, but then he timidly backed out, looking instead to the ceiling, whistling. Shifting her head every so slightly, she offered a ferocious look to Dean, who merely shook his hands, not caring in the least for depressive female glares. Content that the two would not bother her again, she resumed to watching Harry and Ginny.

Oh, why would a fellow want a girl like her,

A girl who's merely lovely.

Why can't a fellow every once prefer,

A girl who's merely me?

She's a frothy little bubble,

With a flimsy kind of air,

And with very little trouble,

I could pull out all her hair!

A sudden pain erupted throughout Hermione's head. Shrieking loudly, it took her a moment to realize it was because she had tried to rip out her own hair. Everyone in the Great Hall looked at Hermione, who had stopped shrieking only moments before. Everyone that is, except for the two lovebirds down the Gryffindor table, who had glanced at her before turning to each other again.

Slowly, everybody turned back to their breakfasts, leaving Hermione alone with her anger again. Except for Dean and Seamus who had inconspicuously slid away from Hermione, wary of any other insane attempts to kill Ginny through herself.

Why would a fellow want a girl like her,

A girl who's merely lovely.

Why can't a fellow ever once prefer,

A girl who's merely me?

What's the matter with the man?

She couldn't think of anything, but there had to be a reason.

What's the matter with the man?

Maybe someone had drank Polyjuice potion to become Harry? But she ruled that out as too unlikely, who would go through all the time and trouble, just to romance Ginny? She wasn't that great!

Next, she moved to the possibility that Harry was drugged. Everyone knew Ginny crushed upon Harry since before they had ever met, perhaps she had just now decided to take it to the next level and MAKE him love her back! But, then, where would Ginny get a drug that would make Harry become attracted to her anyway?

What's the matter with the man?

He must be insane, she thought, assuring herself slightly.