Vigil

Vigil

I've watched him sleep every night for six years. I've watched him while he dreams of horrible things, I've seen him smile unconsciously at something unknown to me. It's my vigil that I keep every night, no matter how tired I may be. I feel that I must protect him, especially at night because that's when he's most vulnerable to the Wolf inside of him.

Right now he's having nightmares again. I know because the dreamcatcher above his bed is charmed to show his dreams, and right now it's flashing violently with horrible images of blood and pain. Below the dreamcatcher he lies in his bed, writhing and crying out in fear. His normally passive face is contort and animal-like in pain.

Suddenly his eyes snap open. They're usually such a bright amber colour, but at the moment they're dark, afraid. He's terrified at the scream rips through his chest, out his gaping mouth and into the dormitory. I sit up, concerned for him as he realises where he is and begins to tremble. He drops his face into his shaking hands as sobs rock his tiny body from side to side. Sometimes I wonder if they'll one day break him in half, shatter him.

The other boys are stirring now, woken by the scream that still echoes in my ears. Sirius hops from him bed while Peter picks himself up from the floor where he fell in fright. I stay where I am for a moment, watching Sirius sit down next to him, trying to calm him. I wait to see where Peter will sit. On his other side, probably.

But no, Peter opts for a spot by his feet, leaving his other side open. My heart beats a little faster as I rise and head for the bed to sit on the other side of him. Sirius is whispering in his ear as he cries soundlessly.

"Remus, s'alright. There's nothing wrong, it was just a dream, you're safe here. Moony?"

Remus lifts his head and wipes his nose on his sleeve, his eyes red and puffy. He tries to smile, but it looks more like a pained grimace to me. I settle down on the bed, snaking my arm about his shoulders and pulling him close to me. He's still shaking horribly, but not as bad as before, and his tears have stopped.

"All right?" I ask softly. He nods, barely moving his head which now lays against my chest. Sirius yawns hugely, and Peter's eyes look heavy.

"Prongs, y'mind sitting up?" Sirius asks. "I have to get up early and finish off that Care of Magical Creatures essay, y'know? The one on dragon hide or blood or something?" I give him a small nod, and he drags himself off to his bed, drawing the hangings closed. Peter looks a bit uncomfortable about going off to bed, but after a few minutes of trying to keep his eyes open, he too creeps away and quickly falls asleep.

So we are left alone. Remus' face is still damp and a few extra tears fall from his golden eyes and onto my bare chest. We sit silently for awhile, my arms around him, protecting him while he calms himself and manages to stop shaking.

He sits up after what seems like forever, which, to me, is not long enough to be holding him. He still looks strained and tired but much more cheerful. "Thanks, James," he whispers. I give his shoulders a squeeze and ask him if he thinks he can sleep now.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for keeping you up, Prongs. You didn't have to - " he starts.

"I wanted to, Remus. I'm you're friend, aren't I?" I interrupt, whacking him playfully with a pillow. As quick as lightning, he grabs another pillow and brings it down on my head.

We fight quietly for a few minutes, our giggling mixing with the soft "floomps" of the pillows hitting our bodies. Finally, Remus declares defeat, falling back and panting. He grins at me, and my heart leaps in my chest. His smile really is beautiful.

"I'm exhausted," he laughs, snapping me away from my thoughts. I nod at him and smile, making my way back to my bed. I settle down and pull my blanket over me. Then I hear his voice.

"Snitch boxers? Honestly, James, are you that hopeless?" he hisses.

I smile to myself as sleep overtakes me.

*finis