Of Mothers, Malevolence, and Escaping

Note: Of course, thanks go out to my lovely beta, Rachel. You are magnificent. P.S. you know as well as I do, I don't own Padfoot or Moony.

Of Mothers, Malevolence, and Escaping

"Remus, can I have a word with you?" The hard, quiet voice of Remus Lupin's mother issued from the sitting room. The slender, amber-haired youth cringed at the sound of her voice. Tentatively, he edged his way into the room where his mother sat waiting for him.

"Yes, mum?" he said slowly, clutching William Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream closer to his chest as he entered.

"Come, dear, I'd like you to see something," said Remus' mother in that dangerous voice, her dull, green eyes flashing. Every line in her face was etched with malice.

Remus, who had always been a gentle, quiet, and reserved person, was frightened of what he'd done. His memory held no recollection of any actions taken to infuriate his mother to such an extent. Obeying her command, the light, honey-eyed Remus meekly ambled over to her armchair. In a flash of her silver rings, her hand cut across Remus' face.

Scarlet smoke issued from the wounds on his tender flesh. A yelp escaped from Bernadette Lupin's son and his book dropped to the carpet, causing a muffled thud. The pure silver on Bernadette's long fingers was cause for great harm to her Lycanthrope son. She smirked with resounding malevolence as Remus hastily mopped at the wound with his sleeve. His white shirt was saturated with blood within seconds.

"I found your letters today, Remus. When I was straightening up your room, I came across and interesting assortment of mail. I'd like to read you some lines from my favorites." She bent over and picked up a stack of parchment that Remus recognized, with a horrible feeling of dread dropping past his heart and into his stomach, as Sirius'. Her voice of hatred began reading off Sirius' words of compassion: "It's been an awfully long time since I've seen you. Three weeks counting. I miss everything about you, Remus. I long for your soft embrace. I want to hold you in my arms and to kiss you. I want to explore your body with my eyes, lips, tongue, and hands."

All the color dropped out of Remus' face as his mother spoiled Sirius' affections. A pounding erupted in his head. He wanted to flee this house. Run to Sirius' welcoming arms. But he couldn't move.

The pause in his mother's reading was thick and heavy. Remus flicked his gaze up from his trembling hands to glance at the woman who once read him fairy tales and told animated stories. Creases accumulated on her forehead and her lips were pursed in fury. No longer could her eyes be recognized, for they were cold and distant.

Ages ago, it seemed, Bernadette Lupin would cuddle up with Remus on nights when the walls would quake from echoing thunder. The comfort and love in her shining jade eyes would be brighter than the lightening that streaked across the sky. Ominous though the night would appear, Remus could always find relief and safety with his mother. Always.

XxMEMORYxX

Having recently celebrated his birthday, Remus was now a nine year old. Thunder didn't cause trepidation in nine year olds. Neither did lightening. Remus attempted to be brave as a clap of thunder rolled off the clouds. His large, curious honey colored eyes flinched at the sound. Out in the distance, he perceived the moon in a cloud break. The full and iridescent orb glowed with an eerie aura, illuminating the black haze around it, turning them into ghosts.

In a moment of naïve courage, little Remus decided to walk among the night's horrors. Being full aware of his fear for the nighttime storms, he had an urge to test the limits of his apprehension.

The wind blew fiercely, howling through the trees' leaves. The moon glimmered shyly above Remus. Rain had not yet fallen and the clouds loomed heavily above him. His slight frame shivered in a mixture of terror and a slinking sense of unease. The courage he'd mustered up upon leaving the house was quickly dissipating as the thunder crashed above him and lightening sliced through the sky.

A mellifluous sound was issuing from a nearby copse of trees. Remus backed up slowly, afraid of what was padding around the thicket. The rustling was beginning to quicken and Remus began to panic. The muffled thud of feet, animal or otherwise, was growing louder as the small boy's pulse became more rapid. As the sound of the creature crashing through the trees heightened, Remus turned and started running. As quickly as he could, he sprinted towards the house.

A low howl came from a menacing werewolf. It had pounced after the running child and landed atop him. Remus took in a pair of gleaming silvery-yellow eyes and razor sharp teeth, dripping with saliva and blood, ready to rip out his neck. Not a sound escaped young Remus' quivering lips. Pain shot through his neck and shoulder as the beast sunk his teeth in the curve there. A moan of pain and horrified realization issued from the youth's mouth. The werewolf lifted itself off Remus and ran back to the dark canopy of trees. Despite the burning agony in his neck and shoulder, he rolled over and got to his feet shakily.

Bernadette called out softly through the house, "Remus?" She knew he was terrified of thunderstorms and wanted to comfort him. Upon seeing his room vacant, she began to worry.

"Remus? Where are you, baby?" she exclaimed, nearly frantic. Her hands trembled and her steps were fast. Where could her little Remus be? Bernadette poked her head in every room of the house, searching for her tawny-haired child. Outside, she heard a deep howl come from the front yard.

"Oh my God! Remus," Remus' mother whispered. She fled to the door and wrenched it open. There, a few feet in front of her, stood her child. He was bleeding down the front of his clothes and his neck was glistening crimson in the moonlight.

A shock of terror went through her body. Now, her son frightened her. Her son's pleading eyes looked up at her. They asked her for help, to be his mother. Never had Bernadette Lupin thought she'd abandon her only child. But she did.

She abandoned him the moment she backed away from his bloodstained, outstretched hand. As he lifted his arm in need, she averted her gaze and backed away. The curse that now took refuge in her son frightened her. She was worried and confused and completely incapable of handling anything of this caliber. Deep in her soul she felt guilty for refusing the boy, but that was so masked by her terror that she couldn't register it.

"Mum, please," Remus said in that small, terrified voice. His feet moved toward Bernadette as she retreated towards the house. Not once had he shed tears since the bite of the wolf, but now, he cried. Tears fell fast and glossy down his cheeks.

He entered the house, shaking, bleeding, and cloaked in pain. He saw his mother toss Floo Powder into the flames roaring by the hearth. He extended his arms in attempts to embrace the woman. She flinched as he neared her.

"Do not touch me, Remus," she shot at him. "Just say 'St. Mungo's' and step into the fire."

He wiped his tears away on his t-shirt, which was covered in blood, and was swallowed in the fire.

XxMEMORYOVERxX

Ever since that moment when he was bitten, Remus' mother avoided him at all opportunities. As a younger child, Remus would be told to reside in a cage located in the cellar. She'd never keep him company or heal his wounds. A nurse was hired to tend to Remus' lacerations. Now, though, he had his Padfoot to love him and tend to him. Realistically, the nurse healed Remus' actual wounds but Sirius Black was healing Remus' emotional wounds.

"Never had I imagined that you would be involving yourself romantically with men! It's disgraceful and unnatural. Isn't it enough that you are an inhuman beast? I don't understand it, Remus," Bernadette spat. Her tongue was vicious and disgusted.

"That, mother, is because you cannot comprehend what love is. I love Sirius, a feeling that he returns. There's no way to describe it to you. You are ineffably hateful and it's as if ice-cold hands are ripping out your heart. That's if you've still got one that's left, inside that cave you call a chest." Remus' breathing was getting heavier. His mother infuriated him. In this chaotic moment of hate, confusion, and opposition, only the belief of Sirius' love kept him sane.

Remus plowed on, ignoring the way his mother's mouth gaped open. "In this relationship with Sirius I have received more compassion and support than you've ever given me. It is not a suffering secret that I'm a werewolf. Despite my curse, he remains with me. I don't expect you to understand, mother, because you deserted me when I desperately needed to have comforting love from a mother. It was never received. I grew cold and distant, in much the same way you did. Your neglect poisoned me in such a way that I had believed wholly that I didn't deserve love in any type," Remus' explained. His voice sounded as though he was figuring out a complex problem. He was breaking down each portion and lacing it together to form a clever solution.

"Not only did I live under the initiative that I did not deserve love, but that I was incapable of being loved. Your rejection had fueled this flourishing flame of doubt and distance. I avoided people when I arrived at Hogwarts. Somehow, much to my confusion and disbelief, three people had wormed their ways into my life. I formed a bond with them. They cared for me with such affection that I never believed possible.

"There was this precision in our mutating friendship. It felt as though that was exactly what was supposed to happen. It appeared as if our life was planned out for us and we were so naïve and unsure. We tumbled into this new stage, Sirius and I. We were mystified about how we felt. In the beginning, I didn't want to venture on this uncharted field. Not with Sirius. We were so diverse that our love seemed very paradox. It seemed very liable that whatever romance we started would fail. Circumstances change. This great plan that is controlling us even now wouldn't allow us to stray from each other.

"Eventually I gave in. I let myself fall so hard in love that I didn't know how to react. Questions were asked. A myriad of absurd questions that I can't even believe I asked. Sirius was uncharacteristically patient with me. Every insane question I asked he answered with this lucid answer. It soothed me. He is gentle with my feelings. He was, and still is, very aware of my emotional state. Not that I'm crazy or on the brink of losing all my sanity, no. Sirius understood about our relationship, mother. His experiences don't stray far from mine. His mother is cold and unforgiving. Every moment of her life is spent berating his existence and abhorring everything about him. His heart is not in to fighting her anymore. He's left her home and moved into a flat that he bought with the money his uncle left him. And that is what I am going to do.

"I'm leaving this house and I'm leaving you, mother, to live with Sirius. He's already asked me to live with him, as I'm sure you know. You've read all my letters. Good-bye mother. I'm leaving you alone to rot. To drown in your own mind. You do not have a husband to love you, you do not have any other children to love you, and you don't have me to love you." With that last lingering statement, Remus Lupin turned his back on his mother and approached the fireplace. He threw the glittering floo powder into the flickering fire and whispered Padfoot's flat address, disappearing into the flames, and disappearing from his mothers razor sharp clutches, finally able to breathe freely.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope it was up to any expectations. Any comments or criticism, just you know, review. It'd be very nice and helpful. Review, please!