Let Me Love Him

Remus's POV

I knew he was going to sit next to me before he did. I was lazing under the beech tree by the lake reading up on some Defense Against the Dark Arts for the O.W.L.s, which were about two months away when I saw him. He was coming out from the castle scanning the grounds. I returned to my reading, not concentrating as much as I had been before. Sirius was what all the girls, and even some of the boys, wanted. He was intelligent, out-going, and a world of fun. Not to mention he was very attractive. Fairly tall and slender with gentle muscles that resulted from being a beater on the Quidditch team. He had black hair that rested around his shoulders and gently fell about his eyes. His big, blue eyes. Stop thinking about him in that way, Remus. Get over it, he's Sirius, your friend. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the thoughts about Sirius that entered my 16-year-old brain more often than they should.

"Afternoon, Moony," Sirius said cheerfully, throwing himself onto the ground beside me.

"Hello, Sirius," I responded with as much calm as I could muster. His presence made my heart beat faster than normal.

"Whatcha reading?" he asked, leaning forward to see my book.

When he leaned in he pressed his body against mine. I began to feel nervous but didn't show any signs of reaction. After all, this was merely Sirius. The Sirius that wrestled with me, James, and Peter. The same Sirius who loved to tell me in great detail about his countless dates. He would crawl into my bed at night and whisper about what he did on his dates with all the beautiful girls in school. As much as I complained about his company in my bed, I missed him when he wasn't there. Nothing ever happened of course, no matter how much I wished it had.

"A book on defense against the dark arts. Our O.W.L.s are coming up, you know," I answered finally, not looking up from my reading.

"Those are in two months, Moony!" Sirius exclaimed. And with that, he snatched my book out of my hands.

Now I had to look at him. His was grinning at me and waving my book above his head. "Sirius!" I shouted. "Give me my book." I stuck out one of my pale hands.

"No way. If you want it, you'll have to wrestle me for. Come on Moony-boy." Sirius laughed and stood up, smiling wickedly at me. My stomach flipped over at his beautiful smile.

"Bugger off, Padfoot," I said, glaring at him in mock-anger.

Sirius roared with laughter at me. "Come on, Remus. Lighten up." He continued to wave the book in my face. I tried to grab it from him, but he was too fast. Okay, fine, I'd play his game.

I jumped up and he started running. I chased after him and caught up with him. Instinctively, I leaped on to his back, tackling him to the ground. "Oy!" Sirius yelped. He dropped my book but kept me from getting it. As I lunged for it, he seized me around the middle and pinned me to the grass. I was smaller than Sirius so I really couldn't get away. He really had behaved more like a dog since the Animagus transformation. I laid on my back with Sirius straddling me and holding my arms above my head. His face was very close to mine. We were nearly sharing the same breath. His deep blue eyes bore into my hazel ones and I began to blush slightly.

"Moony..." He whispered my nickname. I wanted to just lean up and kiss him. It was right there in my head to take his face in my hands and kiss him until his lips bruised and we were unable to breathe. I wanted to. I wanted him. I needed him. His black hair fell down and brushed against my cheek. Another thought to run my fingers through his hair come to mind. With him being so close and so many emotions coursing though my body, I could feel that I was beginning to grow hard. I took a sharp breath and wanted him to get off. I wanted him to either kiss me or just leave before I embarrassed myself.

Neither happened because James saved the day.

"Bloody hell, what's going on?" James exclaimed, causing Sirius to jump up and blush deeply. I scrambled to my feet and bent to pick up my book that lay forgotten on the ground. "Well?" James narrowed his eyes.

"We were just wrestling. Moony here was studying for O.W.L.s instead of enjoying this lovely day so I took his book there and, well, I'm sure you can guess the rest," Sirius explained, regaining his composure. James seemed satisfied with that explanation.

"Alright then. Well, anyway, look over there," James said, pointing at Lily Evans and smiling gleefully. Lily was chatting with her friend by the lake. I glanced at Sirius and together we rolled our eyes at James.

"Come on, Prongsy, she hates you," Sirius said, laughing at James.

"No, she doesn't. She is just intimidated by my incredibly good looks." Sirius barked with laughter and I shook my head. James could be so arrogant sometimes.

"You know, mate, I think you're in way over your head." Sirius slung his arm over James' shoulders and hit James' forehead. A twinge of jealousy shot through my body. I wished Sirius' arms were around me instead of James.

"You're a wanker, Padders, you know that?" And with that said, the two friends began play fighting. I had already sat back down under the beech tree and resumed my reading. On occasion, my mind would drift back to when Sirius whispered my name.

"What time is your detention with Professor Monroe?" I heard James ask Sirius. They had sat next to me and were discussing Padfoot's recent antics in Potions class.

"Eight o'clock. I can't believe she gave me a detention for calling Snape a 'greasy git' that 'couldn't get a girlfriend' if his life depended on it.'" James broke into a fit of laughter. It had been rather funny when he said that to Snape. Of course, Snape wasn't in trouble because Professor Monroe didn't hear him tell Sirius to stop having gay fantasies about me and get back to his potion. Only Sirius and I heard what Snape said. I wondered why he would say that to Sirius. There's no way Sirius even has the slightest interest in me anyway, could he?

Sirius' POV

Detention with Monroe tonight. Again. I have to clean out the cauldrons and wash down the tables. Without magic of course. Could she be any less original?

I saw Remus pouring over some homework down in the common room as I descended the stairs. His light brown hair brushing his neck as he moved his head to read made me almost trip. His perfect lips mouthed some words as he reread his essay. It was probably for Transfiguration. I've thought about just walking up to him and kissing those perfect lips on more than one occasion. I never have though, because Remus most likely wouldn't approve. Though, he didn't seem to mind me on top of him today. He had this look in his eyes when I was centimeters away from his face. A look of desire maybe. I was kidding myself. I knew Moony would never have feelings for me.

"Essay for McGonagall?" I asked Remus. He nodded his head and moved his bag to the floor so I could sit next to him. All I could do was observe him. Study him. His bright hazel eyes were sweeping across the parchment on which he wrote. Moony writes small. Very neat and small. I, on the other hand, write in obscenely large and messy lettering. I wanted to tell him how I felt. I wanted to confess to him that I loved him with all my heart. My heart was breaking each day that I couldn't kiss him or touch him or please him.

"Don't you ever get tired of doing work all the time?" I broke the silence. Remus looked up and gave me a small smile.

"Don't you ever get tired of harassing me?" Moony countered.

"Never. Moony, it's my life's purpose to make sure you don't suffocate in the world of books and homework."

"How very sweet of you," Moony said sarcastically.

"I know." I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly. I tried to make it friendly, but savored in the glory of being embraced back.

"I'm so very sorry, Remus, but I must be off to detention." He relinquished his hold on me and I stood up. He stared at me before giving me a small wave. I winked and headed towards the dungeons.

I was finally relieved of my manual labor at 12:30. When I entered the common room, I found it was empty. I was a bit upset because I spent all of my detention contemplating whether or not I should confess to Moony how I felt. I had decided that I would tell him and now he wasn't here. Maybe I would still have a chance if I just woke him up and lay with him. It's worth a shot.

"Moooonnnyyyyy," I breathed into Remus's ear. I had changed into my pajamas and was leaning over Remus.

"Huh?" a sleepy werewolf mumbled.

"Moony, are you sleeping?"

"Not now that you've woken me up."

"Sorry. Can I sleep here?" I asked tentatively.

"'Course you can." He pulled back the covers and moved over, allowing room for me.

I could tell he was awake now. He rolled over onto his side and peered at me. "How was your detention?"

"Bloody awful!" I exclaimed quietly. "She had me scrubbing all the cauldrons and tables until my hands shriveled up!" I curled up closer to Remus, nuzzling my face into his neck and drinking in his scent.

Remus chuckled softly. A tense silence passed before Remus spoke up. "What did Snape mean today in Potions when he said that you should stop having gay fantasies about me?"

Good thing it was dark because I could feel my face blushing. "You heard that?"

"Yes."

"Oh...well...uh...It's just that...I kind of...I...Moony, I really like you." There, I had managed to say it.

"You what?" Moony's voice was astonished.

"Moony I have a huge crush on you, okay! I know you probably don't feel the same so I'll just leave you alone. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything." I made to get up but Remus grabbed my hand and stopped me.

"Sirius, don't leave me." He sounded afraid and worried and vulnerable. Almost as vulnerable and naked as I sounded. "Padfoot, please. I need you. I-I love you."

I rolled over so that I was on top of Remus. "I love you too, Moony," I whispered into his ear. He took my face into his hands and crushed his lips to mine. We became engaged in a battle, our mouths fighting, trying to gain dominance over the other. He parted his mouth and I flicked my tongue into it. His mouth was sweet and his tongue and lips were soft. He licked my bottom lip and I moaned quietly.

"Wait, Sirius." Remus pulled away from me and cast a silencing charm on his bed curtains so our friends couldn't hear us. "Smart move," I said, smiling at the boy lying under me. I leaned down and began kissing him again. His hands were moving through my hair and along my neck. I could feel him getting a hard on and could feel the blood rushing to my own dick. My lips moved to his neck and I sucked on his soft skin. Moony let out a groan and ran his hands under my shirt. His touch set my body on fire. I continued to kiss and suck and lick his neck and he kept on letting out these soft moans that sent shivers up my spine. We began rocking back and forth, rubbing our cocks together and touching each other all over. "Padfoot," Moony whispered.

"Huh?" I muttered from somewhere around Moony's ear and neck.

"Look at me."

I raised my blue eyes to his sparkling hazel ones. He pushed a piece of hair off my face and tucked it behind my ear. "You're beautiful, Sirius."

"Not nearly as gorgeous as you."

He kissed me passionately and nibbled at my lips and neck. Moony was so gentle with his kissing. He was a very intimate person. After the rocking and kissing and groaning died down I laid entangled with Remus, breathing heavily. Our lips swelled and bruised from sucking and kissing, while marks stood out across our necks. I finally had what I'd wanted for ages. It felt like ages. I had Remus. I loved Remus and I knew he loved me.

-fin-