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Wizmail - NEW MESSAGE

To: Hermione Granger

From: Anne Granger (your mother)

Subject: Lunch

Dearest daughter of mine,

I was wondering how you'd feel about a lunch together tomorrow. What with you working day and night, I feel as if we hardly spend time anymore. It depresses me, really, not being able to communicate with my only daughter.

Sympathize with your dear old mother for once, Hermione, and meet me at the Key. Looking forward to seeing you again.

Love,

Your mother

Wizmail - REPLY

To: Mother of Mine

From: Daughter of Yours

Subject: RE: Lunch

Mum,

I'm sorry if I haven't been visiting you and Daddy lately. It's just I've been overloaded with new divorce cases. Who knew divorce was so popular in the wizarding community? I certainly didn't.

Lunch sounds wonderful. I haven't had time for a real one the past few weeks, but I think I can find time for this one just this once. Besides, we have a lot to catch up on and I've got so much to tell you about my newest case. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow at noon, Mum.

Looking forward to an actual lunch,

Hermione

"Hi, this is Hermione. Leave a message if you wish, but don't be offended if I don't return your call. I'm tired and my bony fingers are not up to pushing numbered buttons."

Beep!

"Hi, Hermione, this is Ginny. Harry, Ron and I were wondering if you wanted to get together tomorrow night at the Three Broomsticks and catch up. It's been a while since we've seen you, and we think it would do you a world of good if you came out for a night. You've done nothing but hole yourself up in your office, and you need to relax and have a night of fun with your friends. Call me back when you get this."

Ring, ring.

Ring, ring.

"Ginny Weasley, Department of Auror Training, how may I help you?"

"Oh, very professionally done, Gin."

"...Hermione, is that you?"

"The one and only."

"Oh, Merlin, hi!"

"Hi."

"It's been ages since we've had a decent conversation."

"It has."

"I'm glad you decided to call. I was beginning to miss your nags."

"I'm touched, Ginny, really, I am. Wait one moment, would you? I've got to find myself a hanky so I can blow my nose."

"Oh, ha ha."

"I thought so."

"So who threatened you to ring me up?"

"You."

"So you did get my message from last night, didn't you?"

"Indeed, I did."

"And you're just calling now? After about sixteen hours since the said message was recorded?"

"I was busy, Gin, sorry."

"It doesn't matter now that you've called back. So will you be able to make it tonight?"

"I'm afraid not."

"What? Why not?"

"I've got work-"

"Hermione, you always work! You need a break from it once in awhile!"

"I would've been able to make it if it were on any other night."

"..."

"I have a meeting with a client tonight."

"You choose your clients over your friends?"

"No! It's not like that! Not at all! Just try to understand, Ginny. She's a huge client, and I can't afford to lose this case. I'd be killed if I did!"

"..."

"Ginny, I'm really sorry. I really am, but this client really is important. I mean, this is, after all, Naricissa Malfoy we're talking about he-"

"Narcissa Malfoy?"

"Yes-"

"She's getting a divorce from Lucius Malfoy!"

"Yes, and will you please keep your voice down! I can't have the whole world knowing! Her decision to file for divorce hasn't even been made official to the press yet!"

"But why?"

"It's confidential, Gin."

"Hermione, I deserve to know the reason as to why I will be stood up by my best friend tonight."

"Gin - Okay, fine. Well, apparently, she and Lucius have irreconcilable differences and the male Malfoy has committed adultery."

"A sexual affair, eh?"

"That's another way to put it, yes."

"I always knew their marriage would never really last, and I had always imagined it would be the question of Lucius's commitment that would end it."

"Well, at least it lasted for a good solid twenty-six years."

"Yeah, but still..."

"Look, I'm sorry, but I've got to go. I'm having lunch with my mum soon. Please don't tell anyone else about what I've told you, even though the Daily Prophet will be all over it by tomorrow morning."

"I won't."

"And I really am sorry I won't be able to make it tonight."

"I know, and don't feel sorry."

"Give both Harry and Ron a kiss from me."

"Of course."

"We'll talk later."

"I'll call."

"I'll be waiting. Bye."

"Bye."

"Hermione! I'm so glad you could make it."

"Hi, Mum. It's been awhile since we last saw each other, hasn't it?"

"Right you are. So how have you been?"

"Alright, I suppose. I've been working loads, but I love it."

"You really need to find time for yourself, darling. You look positively drained."

"Yes, well..."

"Now, you mentioned something about a new case? Who's the lucky soon-to-be divorcée?"

"Erm, Narcissa Malfoy."

"That sounds lovel - Narcissa Malfoy!"

"Mum! Keep your voice down will you?"

"I'm sorry, but did you just say Narcissa Malfoy?"

"I did."

"But I thought these Malfoys despised Muggleborns."

"Yes-"

"I bet she came crawling to you after figuring out you were the best divorce attorney out there."

"Mother, I'm not the best-"

"Oh, hush. You are the best and I will hear nothing else of it."

"Mum-"

"Say, have you found anyone to bring to the Christmas party?"

"No, I'm afraid I haven't had the time."

"You'd better find some time soon. The party's only just two weeks away, and I will not have you show up alone."

"No one would be interested in me, Mother. You might as well get used to the idea of me showing up at your parties and balls alone."

"What do you mean no one would be interested in you?"

"I mean, no one would be-"

"Of course they'd be interested in you."

"Mum, I know that people don't like people like me. I'm too controlling, bossy even, and men don't like that. They like the freedom of doing whatever they like."

"Hermione, you may be a bit controlling, but you're still a beautiful and wonderful person. Why can't you see that? I do, your father does-"

"Yes, but it's necessary for you to say that. I bet you no one else sees it."

"What are you talking about? Of course others see it, just as clearly as your father and me. You and I walk down a street, and all male heads turn towards you."

"They don't-"

"Oh, they do. You're just not willing to let yourself see that because you're afraid of getting hurt. You don't want others to get close to you because you're afraid that they'll be capable of doing what Viktor did to you."

"I don't want to talk about Viktor. Not now, not ever."

"Hermione, we are going to discuss this without those childish tantrums of yours you tend to put out on public display."

"I do not throw temper tantrums-"

"Darling, Viktor may have cheated, but it doesn't mean all men are like that. He's just one out of millions and maybe even billions. Not all men are the same."

"..."

"Hermione?"

"I-it's just that I want to be able to prevent the pain, and if I lock myself up at home or work like mad, I feel like I can control it better."

"Hermione, you need to move on and forget about what happened because if you don't, the Granger line of witches, wizards or anything magical will die out and you will die a lonely old woman with twenty cats. Your father and I would really love a grandchild or two to spoil. You were never one to take gifts or complements very well."

"I love you too, Mum."

"Of course you do. Let's just hope you love me enough to produce me some grandchildren."

Dear Draco,

Your mother has decided to file for divorce and has decided to ask for the help of one Hermione Granger. It seems she's one of the best in wizarding England and has not lost a case since graduating from Wizarding Harvard.

I have failed to find a divorce attorney in the United Kingdom that could match the caliber of your mother's new lawyer and that is why I am writing this letter. I ask you to return to England at once for I have decided to hire you as my divorce attorney, that is if you are willing to take the job. I know of your success in America, but I assure you, you'll find just as much success back here in England.

Please respond as quickly as possible, Draco.

You father,

Lucius Malfoy.

"Hello, you've reached Narcissa Mal - er - Black. I'm much too busy divorcing and planning revenge upon my husband to answer your call right now, but say whatever is on your mind and I'll consider calling you back. Perhaps."

Beep!

"Mother, I cannot believe you! Have you finally lost your mind and filed for divorce! How many times have I told you not to turn to divorce? How many sodding times!

"In case you don't already know, Father's hired me as his attorney and I have a suspicion this is going to get messy, especially since Hermione Granger's your lawyer now! Oh, Gods, Mother! Why divorce andWHY Granger? Really, Mother! GRANGER? You have no idea how much pain and betrayal I am going through at this moment! I mean, Granger of all people?

"Mother, we need to have a serious talk and maybe squeeze in some sanity back into your head because this is complete and utter madness and it seems you have finally stopped thinking clearly. I, for one, am most certainly not ready to check you into a mental institution just yet, so you'd better get yourself prepared for a very long chat!"

Father,

I have accepted your offer and will be arriving in England at the end of the week. I suppose I'll have to reside at the Manor for the time being while I search for a suitable home. We'll have to discuss the case further during my stay.

Draco

"I've got better things to do than listen to you whine and babble - like bringing my mother out of the madhouse she calls her sanity, for one. My mother has lost her bloody mind, in case you didn't already know. She's a raving lunatic, and she must be saved at once. Oh, bugger! I'm starting to sound like the bloody Boy-Who-Lived! What do I know about saving people? So anyway, all in all, I'm busy and far too preoccupied to answer the sodding phone. Say what you need to say, then wait a year or two, and perhaps you'll get a call back."

Beep!

"Draco Malfoy! That message is outrageously appalling! I am deeply offended, and ashamed that you'd say such horrible things about your own mother, who, by the way, had to endure sixteen long hours of labour to get you to pop out! And also, I am not a 'raving lunatic'. My sanity hasn't quite left me just yet, I'll have you know.

"Anyway, I decided to call to inform you that, yes, I am getting divorced from your pig of a father, and yes, the divorce will likely get very messy. I also wanted you to know that as your mother I have always loved you. And again as your mother, I will continue you to love you, perhaps a little bit more, especially since Miss Granger will humiliate you in court. I will not let this divorce separate you and me, understand? We'll be just as close as soon as this whole thing ends.

"Well, I've gotten everything off my chest, and I feel loads better. Anyway, I've got to go, darling. I have an appointment with Miss Granger and then Arlene Parkinson and I are off to Paris for our annual shopping spree. I'm going to have some fun for once in my life. Toodles, Draco, and remember that I'll love you regardless of what happens."