Neville's Sacrifice

Chapter Six

Neville walked up the rough cobblestoned path that led up to the Burrow. He had walked this same path so many times in the past month and a half that his feet carried him to his destination automatically.

He'd been so happy when Ginny had finally woken up from her Potion induced sleep; he was so thankful that she was alive. He'd been ready for her to come home so that they could start their new life together.

But the reality had been very different. After Ginny had heard the Healer's diagnosis, she had strangely started acting coldly towards him. When he came into the room, she would turn her face away from him, not looking at him or speaking to him for hours.

He couldn't understand what had happened, what he could have done. His feelings towards her hadn't changed. He loved her as much as ever. He still wanted her to be his wife, to have her warm body next to him in bed, to wake up to her each morning.

He had been hoping that once she got home, away from the hospital and back to her old life, she would again become the Ginny he loved.

But it hadn't happened like that. Now that she was at the Burrow, she refused to see him. Day after day, week after week, he had trudged up these same cobblestones, hoping this was the day when she wanted to see him.

Neville walked up to the large wooden door, sidestepping the rusty cauldrons and Wellington boots that were littering the front garden path. He knocked, his fists making a resounding thud, thud, thud sound on the solid oak door. He could hear footsteps, then it opened and Molly's careworn face appeared in the doorway.

"Neville dear, I know why you're here. I've tried to talk to her, but she just won't see you," Molly said sadly.

"But does she give any reason why? If I only knew what I've done, I'd try to make it up to her somehow. She doesn't...she doesn't hold me responsible for the wall falling on her, does she? I already feel a lot of guilt about that. If she hadn't warned me..."

Molly reached out to him and brought him into a tight embrace. She stroke his head comfortingly. "Ginny doesn't blame you for that. She knows you're not responsible for what happened. Bellatrix was, and now she's in hell to answer for all her wrongdoings."

Neville raised his head from Molly's comforting chest. "If it's not that, then what is it?" he replied, confused. "I just wish I knew what I've done."

She released him from her embrace then said reassuringly, "Try again tomorrow. She might be feeling more like herself then."

He turned to go and had begun walking down the front garden path when suddenly he turned around and ran back to the door, grabbing the edges before Molly could close it.

"No, I'm not going this time," he said determinedly. "I'm not leaving until I talk to her. I am going to find out right now what is going on. I'm not going to live another day with all this uncertainty hanging over my head." He pushed the door open wider so that he could enter.

Molly backed up against the door to let him pass. She felt flustered, unsure of what to do. Ginny had told her she didn't want to see Neville but...he was her fiancé. Didn't he have a right to see her? And, maybe, if they were able to talk about whatever had come between them, then everything would be alright again.

Neville walked down the narrow hallway, opening doors, looking for Ginny's room.

The first door he opened seemed to be a disused sitting room, the furniture covered in dusty white sheets.

The second room must have been Charlie's old room. Posters of dragons lined the walls while the bookshelves overflowed with books on dragon taming, dragon medicine and different dragon breeds.

On his third try, the door swung open to reveal a room decorated prettily in pink. There were pink and white curtains framing the large window, a pink throw rug lying across the highly polished floor, and a pink and white duvet set on the small single bed.

Sitting in an old fashioned wheelchair was Ginny. From behind, her body looked small and fragile. Her shoulder blades jutted through her robes, her backbone clearly visible through the thin cloth.

Neville felt his throat tightening as tears welled up in his eyes. Ginny, his Ginny. He hadn't seen her for weeks, and the feelings that came up at the sight of her looking so emaciated, so frail, almost caused him to break down completely.

Ginny, hearing the door open slowly, manoeuvred her chair around. When she caught sight of Neville, her face grew angry and she began to scream at him. "Get out! Get out! I already told Mum I didn't want to see you. I don't want to see you anymore."

Neville rushed over to her and grabbed her roughly by the arms. "If you don't want to see me, than tell me yourself. I've been coming here for weeks, waiting for you to say that you wanted to see me, but you never did. I've tried to be understanding; I've tried to be patient. But the uncertainty is driving me crazy. If I did something, just tell me what I did so that I can do something about it."

She looked up into his desperate, despairing eyes and began sobbing. He stared at her, completely caught by surprise by her sudden change of emotions.

Finally, she choked out, "I didn't want to see you because...because I know you just feel obligated to me now. You feel obligated to marry me. I know you don't really want to go through with it, but you're too honourable a person to back out now. You'd be tied down to a cripple. You deserve so much better than that."

Neville stared at her then, taking her by the arms, began to shake her roughly. "Are you crazy? Is that what all of this has been about? Don't you understand that I love you? That I'll always love you? If you were deaf, blind, legless, armless...it wouldn't change how I feel. Nothing, NOTHING will ever make me change how I feel about you. I want you to get those thoughts out of your head RIGHT now. I can't believe you could even think those things, actually think that I only want to be with you because I feel obligated."

Ginny, frightened by his strong emotions, tried pulling her arms away from him.

He released her, and stood there, body still thrumming with adrenaline.

"Maybe you don't feel obligated to marry me," she replied with tears in her eyes. "But, Neville, I can't marry you, I just can't! The Healer's told me that because of where the wall landed, I probably won't ever be able to have children, and I know you wanted lots. I don't want to take that dream away from you."

He took her in his arms and held her shaking body. "As long as I have you, then my life is complete. Now I don't want to hear anymore nonsense about my finding someone else. I want to marry you and only you, and I want to do it as soon as possible. What do you think about that, Mrs Longbottom?"