The Journey From Oidhche Shamhna

Disclaimer: Not Mine

The Journey From Oidhche Shamhna

Chapter 44

Searching

Rowena did not see Helena at the morning meal and thought she had once again fallen asleep in the library. As soon as the meal was over and the students left the Great Hall to start their lessons she hurried to wake her, thinking to find her curled on the floor as was her habit.

The room was still in half darkness, books spread out on the floor, empty parchment and a drying quill lying next to them. She lowered herself to the floor and studied the maps, frowning and wondering what Helena was looking for. She pulled her wand to return the books to shelve when she froze. She slipped the wand in her pocket and crawled backwards from the maps, clutching her hand to her chest. Reaching into her pocket, she took out a vial and drank, cursing that she forgot to that her morning draught. One swallow eased the pain and steadied the beat of her heart, allowing her to stand and start down the stairs, and then back up the moving stairs to her chambers, a feeling of unease coming over her. .

Rowena was waiting for the shift of the landing when Laulen's voice called to her and his footfalls hurried up the stairs. Turning, she saw his ashen face as he reached out to her. She was suddenly cold. Seeing his face, she wanted to pull away and hide from what he had to say.

"Peska is on her way," he said, holding her to him. "We will find her."

"Laulen?" she said as she pushed him back and looked up to his face. "Whatever are you talking of, lad?"

As the landing rested against the wall she pulled away and ran to her chambers, threw open the door and hurried to Helena's room. It was empty, cold, and barren. She turned around to see Laulen watching her, and then he stepped up to catch her as she began to slide to the floor.

"Last night, I should have come. I felt something only did not recognize it as Helena. I have never felt at such a distance. I am sorry, Rowena, if I had come sooner..."

Rowena looked at him shaking her head, and looking over his shoulder, she saw Peska and Gryffin enter the room.

Gryffin hurried to her and picked her up, carried her to the chair in the sitting room, and gently set her down. "Do you need your potion? Do you have it near?"

"No, I just took my morning vial. Gryffin? I do not know where Helena is. Would you check in the owlery? Perhaps she is sending...."

"Rowena." He squatted in front of her. "Did you fight? Or have angry words with her?"

"No, since she has returned from Saul's she is changed. She is kind and good, Gryffin. You know how she is now, how much the banishment taught her, how much she has grown."

He turned to Laulen. "Have you had a falling out with her? Pushed her too hard to accept you?"

Laulen crossed his arms and scowled at Gryffin, who had stood to glare at him, feeling the question that was behind the words.

"If you ever accuse me of what you are thinking I will test my wand against yours," he spat at the older wizard. His grown height now put him on eye level with Gryffin, his new self-confidence not letting him back down.

Peska rushed and put herself between them, putting one hand on each man's chest. "Stop this. It will solve nothing. Gryffin, I am surprised at you, that you would even think such a thing of my son."

"I am sorry," he said, looking back at Laulen. "I know the two of you are close and oft seen together, I just... forgive me, but there are rumours."

Laulen nodded and stepped back, turning again to Rowena. "Has she spoken of another? Someone she may have gone to?"

"No, Laulen." Rowena heard the hurt and fear in his voice. "There is no one she spends time with, or even speaks of but you and always with kindness."

Peska returned to Helena's room, seeing the empty tables, and the absence of most of her fine clothes. "Gryffin, she has taken all but her student robes, and ... Gryffin, she has only taken the Muggle things she would wear at Alya's home, in the city."

"She goes there often, she would have told me," Rowena said. "She and Cassiopeia sometimes work together on the loom and trade secrets. Helena is still fighting to learn how to..."

"I will go and ask her." Laulen headed for the door, then stopped and turned back. "I will talk to Marcus, in case she has been trading with someone in the village. It may help to know to whom she has spoken."

"Try Saul and Marri," Rowena said hopefully. "She and Marri often read together from the book of her god."

They opened Helena's chest and searched her room, hoping that in what they found left behind they could find a clue. As Rowena saw the empty place that had held the emerald earrings and two gold clasps, she knew Helena was surely gone for longer then a simple stay with a friend.

"Gryffin," she said, turning toward him. "She has taken her treasures, the only wealth she has. She must have plans to trade them for Muggle coin."

"Rowena?" Helga rushed in and gathered her into her arms, leading her back to the chair. "Hanson will be here soon, I just spoke to Laulen."

"Karra and Bretta are searching the school, just in case she is packed but not yet gone." Hanson spoke in a rush as he ran into Rowena's chambers. "Elmira is with the little ones, Helga. The elves looked almost relieved when I told him to get the mid-day meal without you, so you have plenty of time."

"She has her hands full with both of the twins." Bretta tried to grin. "She has my four as well."

"Orion is taking the older students to see the valley on broom. They will circle the lake all the way up to the north and south beyond the river," Kista said in a rush as she hurried in. "It was the only excuse for cancelling lessons and going to look that we could thing of, keeping it from the students."

Helga grinned. "Not to waste the time, I will call the rest to Hogwarts duty. It has been much too long since the last weeding and it will take the whole day. It will busy them while we search."

"I need Erwin." Rowena looked up to Gryffin. "Could you go to him? Could you tell him I need him? I am afraid to send an owl. It may raise suspicion in the city, it may anger Erwin."

Gryffin squatted in front of her, and ran the pad of his thumb over her eyes. "Of course I will go, and of course he will come. You have to promise me that you will lay down now. There is nothing you can do."

Helga saw Gryffin at the same time she saw Rowena gasping for breath and whispered to every one to leave the chambers, shooing them outside to their tasks. She laid her hand on Gryffin's shoulder before she left them alone, and leaned down to his ear, telling him to force her to take more of her potion.

Once they searched the grounds, Kista walked in the meadow, down to the forbidden forest, and with one last glance over her shoulder, she stepped into the darkness. Walking past the trees used for wands, she hesitated only briefly before moving forward.

The forest she entered now, although only several years old, but charmed with aging spells, was as if ancient with a canopy of trees like that in the southern lands still not yet inhabited by man. Sunlight did not reach the soil and thick, soft loam cushioned her feet as she moved forward. She remembered finding shelters in forests such as this as they had made their way here from the old villages overcome with war, and the fear she had felt at that time.

The fear she felt now was different. She was not running away but to. She heard the pawing of a single hoof. Turning in a circle, she finally found the source of the sound. There, standing before her gaze, was a unicorn intent on uncovering the tender roots from the forest floor.

Its nostrils flared as its head snapped up. Stepping back and raising up on two back legs, the unicorn looked at her, snorting in fear and shaking its head. It turned at the same time its two front legs came down, starting its run to safety. Kista watched in awe as it ran into the darkness, the darkness swallowing it up. So quick the sight, Kista stood staring at the spot in which it had stood long after the creature had disappeared from sight.

She hurried over and studied the ground for the long tail hairs that could form the core of powerful wands, only to stand and step back before touching her find. She was tempted to pick up the silvery hair that laid on the black soil and run with it back to Temin. This was no cut piece from a source unknown. Here lay an entire hair from a free wild male. Enough wealth lay on the ground to insure her children's future for years to come. Here lay enough for the bride's price on any witch Orion wanted.

She looked up to the canopy above her and smiled, as she turned away, thankful that the gods had not witnessed her temptation. Looking back to the way she planned to walk, her breath caught in her throat and she felt her head swim in a wave of fear. Falling to one knee, she managed to steady her breathing and calm herself enough to speak.

"I am from the world of magical men. I have great need of your people's knowledge."

The centaur walked slowly around her, occasionally snorting and shaking his head in disgust. Once he had completed the circle, he stood in front of her, crossing his arms and staring down at her in contempt.

"We had an agreement that you have broken." He rose up and brought down his front hooves inches in front of her.

Kista did not flinch. She kept her head lowered and refused to talk until he asked his question.

"This is our valley that we allowed you to share. We allowed you to share this in exchange for offering a sanctuary to the creatures." He again walked around her, surprised that she did not speak, as was the habit of these disgusting creatures. Rather, she waited politely and correctly for him to give her permission.

"Have you upheld your end of our contract?" He sneered down at her, lowering his head until his breath was on her shoulder.

"No." Kista squeezed her eyes shut and silently prayed she had taken the right path in her thinking.

"Explain." He reared up his head in surprise and stepped backwards, waiting for this creature's lies to spill forth.

"I have come to ask knowledge from you. In this, I, and I alone am at fault. By this question I have broken the contract."

He pranced around her, smelling her fear, the herbs of her dwelling's fire and the spilled goat's milk from this morning's milking.

"You keep to the old ways." He again lowered his head, smelling her hair. "I smell the smoke from the peat and the scents of your gods. Rise."

Kista stood and slowly raised her eyes to his. She swallowed hard and hoped her knees would hold her.

"You are brave for a human to come here unwanted and alone."

She looked evenly at him. "No, I am scared beyond reason. Yet I need to be here."

"It is the doing when afraid that gives the bravery. Without fear I would label you a fool."

Kista did not respond. He had not asked her a question yet she had spoken already once out of turn.

"What is it you come for?" He unfolded his arms and tilted his head to see her better. "For now you may speak freely."

"One of the others, one that has been here from the other, Rowena by name, her..."

"We are aware of the four that have the valley in their trust. We are aware that one has broken his trust and left."

"Rowena's daughter has gone. We need to know where, to bring her home."

"You cannot change the movement of the stars. So slow they move, and once set on a path the path may not be changed."

"She has just left, this morning, there is yet time."

"It is not her path that will be changed." He lifted his head and sniffed into the air. "One lives in the village that has the gift. One lives in the castle that will birth his child. The child needs to be born or all this is for naught."

"Who? I do not understand."

"Humans." He glowered at her and spit on the ground. "Understanding is not for us. We follow what has begun. There is no understanding in it. Answer this, would you save the one and lose the many?"

"No, of course not. This is not a battlefield of a war, this is Rowena's...."

"The war is in the stars. It started when a child fell at a village well while gathering water for his mother. In the falling, he raised his hand and let his magic loose. Fearful humans observed this magic. The fear spun into the first conflagration that sent fourteen and the four here. Will you go back a hundred years and stop the child from falling?"

"I do not understand what you speak of. All I need to know is what I can do."

"You may take the gift left to you by the unicorn so your Orion may marry with one not yet found and in doing so continue your line. Now go. Do not come again or I will not promise you will leave."

Kista gathered up her skirts and began to run away, then stopped and returned to the spot she had seen the hair, snatched it up and ran to the daylight and the meadow. By the time she had rushed into her hut, she was out of breath and could hardly stand. Yet, she made it to the bowl of offerings. Picking it up, she dumped the entire contents into the fire, sending up her prayer of thanks with the smell of herbs and peat.

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"Rowena!" Erwin rushed into the chambers, frantic to find her. "Rowena!"

He turned and left again to check the library, and hurried down to the kitchen in his search. She was not there, and thinking of only one other place she would go, he used elf travel to arrive at the shore of the lake. He found her laying on top the boulder she often came to when alone, on her side as she looked to the north.

"Rowena?" he said softly as he climbed up beside her.

"Erwin." She crawled to him and threw her arms around his neck. "She is gone. We can find her no place. Bretta even went to Salazar. Erwin, she is gone."

He pulled her onto his lap, resting his cheek on her head, and sighed. "When I could not find you I imagined you were going after her."

"I would if I knew where she had gone."

"It is not the world you left, Rowena. Helena knows more of this world than you do."

"She is too young, too foolish yet in her trust." Rowena pulled back and looked up at him. "You will look for her? She was searching maps I found in the library. Perhaps there is a clue there."

"I plan on leaving in the morn for the south. She talked of learning in France and Iberia. She will not be able to study there, but she does not yet know what it is like. Women no longer attend schools in much of the world now, Rowena. Perhaps in France, but further south is changed."

"She studied the Romans, and was learning to speak some of their languages." She looked up at him hopefully.

"It is a big place to hide in, Rowena. It is not as before. Magical and non-magical live together, one is hidden in the other."

"Gryffin said he will check the north. Perhaps she is seeking the old clans of Oden."

"Rowena," he sighed. "She would not do that. Your gods are not hers. She does not feel the pull to them as do you."

"Elmira and even Rossia and Milt have returned to help. They go over the lists of names for students no longer here. They look for someone she may have gone to."

"Helga has received an owl from Lawrence. He has heard form Salazar that she is missing, they look as well."

"No," Rowena pulled away from him and stood. "She would not go to him. He is too demanding. She is almost fearful of him when he is near."

"She was fearful of him before, when they were students, before her banishment." Erwin scowled at her. "We need to speak to him. Helga has sent an owl, asking him what he knows."

He pulled her close and rested his head on hers. "Now we need to appear at the Great Hall for dinner. The students see something is wrong, and we must make things appear as normal."

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The next morning Rowena woke to find Erwin already gone. She drank her potion before rising from bed and starting her day. Leaning back down, she looked to the ceiling, wanting nothing more than to spend the day as she was. Sighing, she stood and dressed, knowing that this new loneliness would stay with her until she heard her daughter's voice, or saw by her hand that she was well and safe.

The Great Hall quieted as she entered and made the walk to the front dais where she would once again sit next to an empty chair, and looked out at the faces she was now able to place with the families from which they came. She looked down at her plate, pushing it away, unable to bring herself to eat. Knowing the students watched her, she tried to remain even and calm.

"Rowena." Helga leaned down and spoke in her ear. "In the courtyard, Lawrence waits."

Rowena nodded and, taking a deep breath, went to meet him. She remembered him as the one Helena would sit next to at the long tables at meal times. He was the one that would walk her daughter to class, politely doff his feathered cap and wish her a mocking adieu.

She scowled, remembering that this was the one Alya had warned Helena not to flirt with, then had crafted a dress low-cut and too revealing for Oidhche Shamhna. She remembered that night and all that had happened as she made her way to the courtyard.

"Lawrence?" Seeing him looking out at the grounds, she walked up behind him before calling his name.

"Rowena." He bowed low, his plumed hat sweeping behind him.

Rowena looked at him, at first not recognizing him, seeing how grown he now appeared. In the three years since she had seen him he had grown thicker, more muscular, and carried harsh lines at his mouth, now partly obscured by a beard. Her eyes travelled down quickly, taking in his boots, the cut of his clothes, and the heavy brocade fabrics that hung from his shoulders. Her eyes stopped for a moment at the crest he displayed on his chest before snapping up and piercing him.

"Ah, yes." He took her arm and led her to a low wall to sit on. "Please, you appear tired."

Once Rowena had sat, he removed his cape and laid it over her shoulders, then sat next to her.

"My father passed last year. I have taken over his mantle." He turned sideways to face Rowena. "I have written to Helena. I take it by your reaction she did not pass on this information."

"No, she did not choose to. She perhaps knew what my reaction would be."

"It is a title passed down through our line. Although it is recognized as Muggle, I assure you my line has been magical for at least ten generations."

"What do you know of my daughter?"

"More than her refusal to accept me?"

"You did not talk to Erwin."

"I would not do that against her wishes. Three times she has refused me."

"She was too young. You had no right to approach her."

"Young?" He chuckled and shook his head. "Perhaps... tell me what has happened. I received a message."

"We do not know. She has left. Erwin thinks to study."

"Alone?"

"Yes, we believe so. However ... I cannot be sure... I do not..."

"Has she been close to anyone?"

"Close?"

"You know what I am asking."

"I am not sure I do," she hissed and stood up to look down on him.

"She would not be the first to disappear to return in nine months' time with an orphan or the child of a long-forgotten cousin."

"How dare you. How dare you cast aspersions on ...?"

"I had to make sure," he said somewhat more kindly, then stood before her. "If I am to search for her it will not be for another. For nine years, I have waited first for my title and now for her. I am done waiting."

"Her father will not force her to accept you." Rowena narrowed her eyes and frowned at him. "He and I would rather she be lost to us than to force her into a marriage she does not want."

"I do not expect that you would. I would expect that she will tire of her quest and in the returning I will again be waiting for her." He walked over to Rowena and grasped her arms. "I want her as my wife. I will wait until she accepts me or joins with another before I give up hopes of having her."

"I will make no secret of my dislike for your title. It is of the Muggle world and unsafe to be near. I will, however, speak to her of you, if you bring her home to me. I will not try to sway her. I will only ask that she consider your offer."

"I will leave this morn." He bowed to her and stepped back as if to leave.

"Lawrence, I do not have much time left. Soon I will leave to join my gods and I wish to see my daughter one last time before I do."

"She knew this? She knew and left?"

"No, she has no knowledge of it."

"How much money did she have? How did she plan on living in the other world?"

"She took the earrings she has had since a child, and two gold cloak clasps. I thought she would trade them."

"That is all?"

"Her Muggle clothing."

"Then she plans to return." He smiled at her and saw her begin to relax. "She once said that the only inheritance that she wanted was a diadem that held knowledge. She said you told her it had taught you, she wanted the same."

"It holds nothing... I spoke as a mother only, meaning the ... only meaning that ... I did not mean it like that," she whispered, looking at him in horror that her easily made comments were so misunderstood. "My gods..."

She turned and ran indoors as Lawrence followed her up the stairs and into her chambers. She fell on her knees in front of her chest and pulled her wand to drop the wards that held it closed, only to find them already gone. Opening the lid, she found an empty space where the diadem had laid. She sat back on her knees and looked up at him, her eyes filling with salty tears.

"What have I done?" she breathed. "What have I done?"