After the Fall

Disclaimer: Not Mine

After the Fall

Graduation

"So, tomorrow's the big day?" Jake put Hermione's groceries in to her knapsack for her. "Family coming?"

"Umm, no, they are out of the county. Holiday, you know." Hermione put her money on the counter and picked up her knapsack. "Thanks, Jake."

"I haven't seen that friend of yours 'round lately."

Hermione looked up at him, puzzled.

"The professor from the school, you know," he said in answer to her look of confusion.

"Oh, Richard - his name is Richard Hayes. No, he left for a new job in January." She became suddenly interested in the strap on her knapsack.

"No, I know him. I mean the other one. The one that always wears the same thing and has that tattoo on his arm and all."

She looked at him without saying a word, slinging her backpack up and over her shoulder. She made it to the door before she found she had to turn back and ask him.

"Jake, how do you know about him?"

"Don't really know him. I just used to see him around a lot. He ... listen, I don't want to worry you, I thought you knew him."

"I do, but ... well, what do you mean you saw him around a lot?"

"He would show up once in a while and sort of watch you. At first, I thought it was strange, but then, I don't know, he seemed harmless. He seemed to watch over you to protect you or something. He sometimes seemed mad if the weather was bad or you were out too late, like that time you didn't get back from London 'til after sunrise."

Hermione snorted at that. A Death Eater seeming harmless! She thought of the innocence of babes and smiled at him. "Thanks, Jake, I have to run now. If I don't see you again, thanks for everything."

"Sure, you have a job already?"

"Yes, in London!" She smiled widely at him. "Research and Development in a top pharmaceutical lab, McMaters. They recruited me. I didn't even have to apply."

"That's great, Vic. Congratulations."

Hermione put her hand out and opened the door before tuning back to him and smiling. "You've been real nice to me, Jake. Thanks."

He nodded and watched as she left the shop, thinking that she did not even look the same as when she had first walked into his shop. She had a confidence now that she did not have then, a way of carrying herself and a sort of charm. He turned back to his work, forgetting all about her and the dozens like her that came though his shop every year.

Hermione walked back to her apartment, thinking how strange it was that Severus had come so often that even Jake had recognized him. Since he had left, she had thought about the potion and would wake at night to pace and try to think of what she could have done differently. She thought of Voldemort's blood and shuddered to think that she could have really thought Snape would forgive her for tricking him about the potion. Twice she had written an apology to send by owl and twice she had thrown it on the back burner of the stove and watched as it turned to ash, knowing that in the receiving it would only open old wounds.

Hermione walked into her apartment and looked at the boxes she had already packed to take to her new place. She had called movers only to find the fees too high and now had to find a place to store them until she could afford to have them shipped. She would take a trunk and one carry case to the train station and hoped she would be able to navigate the streets from Victoria to the room she had let until she could find an apartment.

She had left out the teapot, dishes and other kitchen breakables, deciding to leave them for the new tenant. Between the cost of shipping and the knowledge that they would break in the process of a move, she would just have to replace them.

Hermione headed for the chair by the window and sat looking out, realizing this would be the last night she would spend here. She could just see the roof of the university building where Richard had kept his office. She looked at the orange tiles now and wondered where he was. She had one of his old scarves he had left on his last visit. On long nights, she would wrap it around her neck and lower her head, smelling his musky cologne and wanting him to knock on her door as she sat by the window watching for him to come back, knowing he wouldn't, but watching anyway.

She had thought she would be excited about the new position she had. A new job at a pay she still could not believe, a new apartment back in a city she loved, these two things should have made her happy instead of leaving her anxious and full of dread. She thought it was perhaps too soon after school. Perhaps if she had planned to take a break to relax and enjoy herself it would be different. Perhaps if he was here to share it with...

She stood and went to the kitchen to fix a pot of tea, smiling at the memory of her mother doing the same. She had often teased her mother about her faith that a spot of tea could put everything right. Now she measured the tea and poured the water in her pot, seeing her mother's hands doing the same. She smiled at the thought that although thousands of miles and a lifetime away, perhaps her Mum was doing the same.

She thought of her parents often now, something she had been unable to do before. She could think of them with smiles and laughter and not feel the pain and sadness. Sometimes she would sit on the floor and arrange all her pictures in front of her and go over their times together. Last month she had finally bought a frame for the picture of her parents' wedding and placed it on the table by the window.

She had only one picture of Richard. Hannah had given it to her as they had gone through the family albums. Sometimes she would slide it in her pocket to be able to feel it slide between her fingers when she shoved her hands in her pockets. She wondered what he was doing and if he had moved on and found someone else. She hoped he had at the same time she prayed he had not.

She heard her neighbour's son running up the stairs and ran to the door to call to him. Telling him she was moving and that she had no further use of the telly, she gave it to him. Seeing his face turn from fear of being scolded for running on the steps to disbelief over his fortune to sheer joy, she laughed and gave him a hug before he ran off to get help in carrying the set up one more flight of stairs.

As she stood watching the young boy and his father carry out the television, she remembered the time she had bought it just to fit in. She shook her head and laughed. Now she just shrugged her shoulders when some comment came she did not understand and did not feel compelled to learn about it.

It was dark out, but still early when she showered and went to bed. She would get up early and pull her trunk to the station on her way to her last day at the university. He would not be able to find her now. If he came back to see her, if he wondered if she was still here or if she still cared, she would not be here. She closed her eyes and fell to sleep imagining his arms pulling her to his chest and his voice whispering in her ear.

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Severus paced in his chambers as his morning tea grew cold. He was dressed in black trousers and a white loose-fitting shirt, open at the collar, with long sleeves to cover his mark. He wore his hair pulled back and tied at the nape of his neck with a length of softened leather. He sighed and sat down to pull on a pair of shoes, opting to forego his standard black dragonhide boots.

His long strides took him down the hall quickly, but not quickly enough to keep the students from seeing him. As he walked through the halls, he could hear the silence spread ahead of him like the ripples of water when a stone is dropped to the centre. He cursed himself for not taking a room in town or leaving before dawn as he now looked straight ahead as he made his way to the main gates.

As he knew she would, Minerva stood at the window waiting to see him leave. She knew he would go to Hermione's graduation even as he adamantly said he would not. She smiled and chuckled when he finally strode out of the front door and made his way to the Apparation point.

"So, our professor has changed his mind and is going?" Albus craned his neck in the portrait, trying to see over Minerva's shoulder.

"No," she laughed. "He has just admitted it to himself that he will. They are both much too stubborn, you know."

"I would put it as they are both too sure of themselves." He stroked his beard and chuckled. "You taught them well, Minerva."

"I am not stubborn." She folded her arms and glared back at him.

"No, my dear. Not at all. I have always considered you the most self-assured witch I know."

"Stop, old man, or your picture will face the wall in here as well."

"Keep that up and you will lose your favourite spy, Minerva dear."

"Do you think she will come back now?" Minerva mused as she watched Severus turn in mid-step and whisk away.

Albus sat back in his chair and looked down at Minerva. "Are you sure you want this for her? Or is it yourself you wish to make happy?"

"Both," she said, dabbing at her eyes. "Is that so wrong? Is it wrong to know that if she returns it would help Harry and Ronald put the past behind them as well?"

She looked up and saw that Albus had already laid his chin on his chest and was dozing off. "Git."

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Hermione walked off the platform after giving her speech as the winner of First Class Honours, intent on catching up to Severus before he could get away. She had seen him standing against the back wall as she was in the middle of her presentation and was unable to acknowledge his presence. By the time she made it to the door she saw him, walking away across the campus grounds almost to the road.

"Damn." She picked up her black robes with one hand and held her cap with the other as she ran across the lawn to catch him.

"Professor!" she yelled as she got closer, seeing he did not turn. "Snape!"

He stopped and slowly turned to see her running to him and smirked at her complete lack of decorum.

"You came." She was breathless and fighting for air when she caught him. "I didn't think I would have anyone here."

"Miss Granger." He nodded his greeting.

"Come on, Professor, I think it's time you called my by my first name." She grinned at him.

"Which one?" He sneered and looked down at her.

"Vickie." She looked straight at him.

"I see."

"Let's not do this." She pulled off her cap and struggled out of the graduation robes. "Let me get rid of this thing and buy you a cup of coffee."

"I really need to get back, Miss Granger."

"You won't let me apologize to you?" She worried her lip and looked at him hopefully. "I have it all planned out - what I will say, I mean."

"I see, did you make a list?" He allowed himself to grin at her.

"Yes, Professor. First, I will do what every good house-elf does and smack my head on the wall. Then, if that is not enough I will offer to clean your cauldrons, with a toothbush, of course. If that still does not work I will promise detention with Filch every night of the term." She laughed at him.

Severus felt his lip twitch as he watched her, and then nodded his consent to the offer of coffee.

"I will be right back. I have a fifty-pound deposit on these that I plan on getting back." She turned to run away when he reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Leave them here, I will pay the ..."

"Don't say it. I think this is where we went wrong last time." She giggled, then stopped and placed her hand on his arm. "I am so glad you came, sir. I really didn't want to be alone today. I don't know why, but it means a lot to me to have someone here."

"Return your things, Miss Granger. I shall wait."

He watched as she again ran across the field and smiled at the sight. She seemed younger than when he had last seen her. She had put enough weight on that the harsh, haunted look on her face was gone and she no longer wore makeup to hide the circles under her eyes. He waited until she returned and, taking her elbow, he walked to the coffee shop with her.

"Professor, I really am sorry about the potion." She leaned forward and whispered to him. "I really did think about it, but I could not find another solution. I just wanted to... to do something."

"The potion was very effective, Miss Granger. However, I would have appreciated your honesty with me." He leaned back in his chair and looked at her. "Do you have any idea how hard this has been to accept?"

"I thought of that. Poppy had promised to destroy her records. I didn't even think that St. Mungo's would send a receipt to her. I am so sorry, Professor. It's just that you did so much for everyone I wanted to give something back."

"Severus."

"What?" she asked, not sure she heard correctly.

"My name is Severus. After all the time we have spent together as teachers at Hogwarts, and now all this, I think it appropriate you call me by my first name."

"The right one, or can I make one up for you as well?" She laughed and leaned back in her chair.

"Where is Mr. - or is it still Professor Hayes?"

"We need to catch a waiter and order the coffee." She looked around until she caught a waiter's eye, and then held up two fingers.

"They have great coffee here." She took sudden interest in the sights out the window.

"I asked you a question Miss ... Hermi... Vicki... I cannot do this, Miss Granger. Your name is Hermione."

"I have not seen Richard since Christmas." She swallowed and looked away. "I would rather not talk about him."

"Were you honest with him?" He leaned forward in his chair to watch her face.

"Honest? Yes." She looked down and twisted her hands together. "Truthful? No."

"You didn't tell him?"

"I can't, I mean I couldn't." She bit her bottom lip and stared at him. "I wanted to thank you for paying..."

"We are not discussing that." He sat back and folded his arms. "If I remember correctly you left your hand print on my face once already over that issue."

"Can we just have our coffee and not talk about this?"

"No."

"It is better this way." She looked down and then out the window. "He is better off without me. Safer, if you will."

"Like your parents, Miss Granger?" He scowled at her.

"I thought so at the time." She frowned and glanced at him, then back to the window. "He left without telling me where he was going."

"Did you give him a chance?"

"You are not my father, Severus." She smirked at him.

"Kingsley has mentioned that word has come of your parents. They have been located and are doing well. Although they have no memory of you, they are doing well."

"Thank you for that. Are they happy? Do you think they are happy with their life?"

"One could only hope so. It is impossible to know from outside appearances. I am sure they would be extremely proud of you, Miss Granger."

She smiled at him. "Thank you. It used to bother me, you know. What I had done, I mean. Then I thought I would rather have it this way than some other."

"Agreed. The Dark Lord had made plans for them. We could have tried to hide them, but perhaps your way was safer." He took a drink of his coffee. "Minerva sends her apologies. She wanted to accompany me today."

"I wish she had. It has been a long time since I have seen her."

"She is feeing her age as of late."

"She is ill?" Hermione looked up at him, alarmed at the news.

"She is tired. You fought a war for seven years, I for almost twenty. Minerva has been fighting long before even my birth. Even before Riddle, there was another, and I fear there no doubt will be more in the future. However, that will be someone else's fight." He looked at Hermione evenly. "She needs to find her own peace and stop trying to save the world. It has become a habit for her."

"I will never see you again, you know," she said with the sudden knowledge that when he left he would not be back.

"Perhaps. The future is always uncertain."

She reached up and removed the stickpin she had worn every day since he had given it to her and slid it back across the table. "I don't think I need this anymore."

They sat in silence, drinking their coffee, each lost in their thoughts, until Hermione looked up at the clock.

"I have a train to catch," she said, standing up and holding her hand out to him. "Thank you again, Severus. Thank you for coming."

"Miss Granger. I feel I must mention one thing more." He scowled and looked around uncomfortably, then pointed to her chair again. "Please, Miss Ganger."

Hermione sat down and raised her eyebrow, wondering what he had to say that would make him look so embarrassed. She had never seen him look as nervous, or as vulnerable as he did at his moment.

"Miss Granger, several years ago, I believe before you were born, I made a mistake that I am still paying for."

"I know, Professor, but you repented that."

"I am not speaking of what I did for the Dark Lord, Miss Granger."

"Oh, sorry, Professor, I mean Severus. Go on."

"I did not take an opportunity that presented itself to me. I have always regretted that. Perhaps if I had spoken up at the time things would still be as they are now, perhaps not. It is that uncertainty I regret."

"Harry's mother?"

"Yes, Miss Granger, and one other."

"If you are talking of Richard, please don't do this. I have enjoyed my time with you, don't ruin it now."

"Miss Granger, is he here with you now?"

"No, you know he isn't."

"Then tell me, Miss Granger, for I seem to have misplaced the instructions to this game you play, you need to help me understand this. If you tell him you are a witch, he will leave. If you do not tell him, you will send him away." He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "It seems the result is the same."

"I can't believe I am getting advice on my love life from Professor Snape, the git of the dungeons." She laughed at his look of defeat.

"It's too late, Professor." She shook her head. "You didn't see him when he left. It's too late."

She stood and leaned down, kissed him on the cheek and laughed when he almost jumped from his seat in surprise, then surrendered to her.

"That was for Minerva - give her my best." With that, she turned and headed to the train station.

Severus stood up and watched after her as she walked away. He had come close to telling her what he had seen in Richard's mind, the emotions he had felt and the fact that she was making a mistake. He now wondered if he was indeed getting so old that he would change a lifetime of habit and get involved in something not his concern.